25-Jul-2001 (Written: 29-May-2001)
Category: Angst
Rating: R
Pairings: 1+3/3+1
Warnings: language, angst
Feedback: C&C
Notes: This is a sidefic to DaMoyre's Games stories. As I was reading Unexpected Match and Wufei was asking "What was Heero and Trowa thinking?" It got me thinking. This is just my version of what I think might take place between Trowa and Heero after Duo left that morning. DaMoyre is planning a version as well. Hopefully she'll be kinder to the boys than I am. ^___^
'--denotes thoughts--'
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non profit entertainment purposes.
The sun began to stream through the window of Heero and Trowa's room. Trowa was awake when Duo chose to sneak out of their bed, he feigned sleep to save the boy embarrassment and to spare himself the happy hentai facade he would have to present to Duo.
Trowa quietly sighed as he looked over at his lover, Heero. 'The things I do for you,' he thought sadly. 'I told you Duo had plans for you while I was away.' He stared closely at his sleeping boyfriend. 'I wonder how long did it take before you let Duo take control? Am I the only one not completely comfortably with this situation? When I saw the two of you together, part of me wanted to throttle you both. While I tried not to kill either one of you, my hormones took over, allowing me to join in. And I hate myself for it.'
"What's wrong, Trowa?" Heero said as he opened his eyes to see the serious unhappy expression on Trowa's face.
Trowa jumped, surprised that he had been so lost in thought he hadn't noticed Heero was awake. "Do you really want to know?" Trowa asked his eyes narrowing a bit.
"I wouldn't have asked, if I didn't want to know," Heero said calmly. "Is it about last night?"
Trowa swung his legs off the bed to the floor. "I'm going to take a shower," he said before feeling Heero's iron grip on his wrist.
"Are you mad at me?" Heero asked, still in a calm voice and not letting go of Trowa's wrist until he got an answer.
"Yes," the auburn haired man said as he pushed back his bangs with his free hand. "I'm also mad at myself, so we're all even."
"Why are you mad at me?" Heero pressed, sitting up to turn his love to face him.
"Why did you fuck him last night?" Trowa said. He chose those words deliberately because last night wasn't about 'making love' it was all too feral to be anything other than just fucking.
"He started it," Heero said, with a smile.
"And you could have said no," Trowa said calmly. He really didn't want to have this conversation, but he knew it had to be done.
"I did say no," Heero remarked.
"Ah, that's why Duo was fucking you so thoroughly when I came in."
"Why are you being this way, Trowa? I knew you would be home to join us," Heero said plaintively, feeling this talk wasn't going well.
"What if Quatre and I hadn't made it back from our mission? What if we had been captured or delayed longer?" Trowa asked.
"I knew you would be back," Heero said quietly.
"Oh you have the power to determine how my mission would have gone huh? What do we need to fight a war for, if you have this incredible power?" Trowa asked sarcastically.
"You're jealous?" Heero asked. "Why agree to it then?"
"Because I'm an idiot," Trowa sighed. "I want you to be happy and obviously Duo makes you happy." 'You're probably happier with him than you are with me.' "Let's just forget about this, I need to take a shower. Let me go."
Heero tried to process the information Trowa was telling him. "What if we change the game parameters? I know you like Quatre and Wufei. We could include them. Would that make you happy?"
Trowa's eyes flashed with something Heero couldn't interpret. "I would rather not involve the others. Quatre would be mortified and Wufei already glares at us with anger in his eyes. No, I liked the parameters just fine when it was entre nous ... just between us. Let me go."
Heero pulled Trowa to him for a desperate kiss. He wasn't sure why but those words, 'let me go' were scaring him. He knew on the surface it sounded like Trowa wanted to be let go so he could shower, but something beneath those words felt sinister. Trowa responded to the kiss, albeit hesitantly at first. Heero pulled away and said, "We can go back to as it was before."
Trowa smiled sadly and nodded his head. "Not likely. Not when Duo knows that you cave like a house of cards around him. Now let me go take that shower now."
"I'll join you," Heero said.
"No," Trowa said, kissing Heero's forehead. "I think we've had enough togetherness for the moment." He pulled away from Heero's grasp and headed to the bathroom.
Heero stared at Trowa as he left. He wasn't sure why but he felt something between them had been lost.
The water was a little too hot to be comfortable, but Trowa didn't care as he stood under the showerhead watching his skin turn a bright red. The stinging shower cleansed his body but he wasn't sure if anything could cleanse his soul. He knew he was jealous. A person would have to be blind not to realize that Duo has always wanted Heero. And now Duo finally had him, with the unnecessary accessory of one tall soldier-circus performer. Trowa recognized Duo's little divide and conquer game for what it was ... a way to have Heero all to himself. Heero was either the most naive person in the world, or he was the craftiest. Trowa knew Heero wanted Duo as well. 'I guess I was easier to get,' Trowa thought to himself miserably. 'Maybe I should just give up the ghost and let them move on in their lives. It's easier than killing everyone.' Trowa smiled, 'Okay it's not, but there is a war on.'
As his skin flinched at the mild discomfort of the overheated water, he couldn't stop hearing Duo's words echoing in his head. 'But you know...your... *property* here didn't seem to mind when I was touching *him*' Trowa would be the first to say that he's never thought of Heero as his property, but still the statement hurt, because he knew it was true. He washed his hair and tried to drown out the silent rage and the building depression he felt.
Trowa toweled off body which now resembled a lobster in its redness and returned to their bedroom. Heero had changed the sheets. He stood in his naked glory staring at Trowa.
Trowa wanted to take his lover in his arms, shower be damned and spend the rest of the day in bed, but his resolve prevented that. "The shower's free," he said, looking for something to wear.
Heero didn't say anything but headed to the bathroom. 'Yes,' he thought. 'Something has been lost.'
OWARI
(:./babaca/penalty)
