03-Apr-2005
Title: Heart's Desire
Author: tkmaxwell777
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi
Pairings: 3+4, 3+5, 4+5, 5x3x4, 1x2 implied
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: A little angst, Date-Inspired Fic (for 05/03/04, but it's 04/03/05 Day, so... ), Lemon Threesome, and Sap
Archived: Yep! www.gwaddiction.com AND Bittersweet Haven, my brand new ML on Yahoo! Groups at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tkmaxwell777bhml/
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing AC or its characters. It is the property of Shin Kidousenki, Bandai, Sotsu, Sunrise, and any other affiliated parties. This story is a parody of its defined universe and is in no way an official continuation of the original anime series. All underage characters engaging in any sexual activity in my stories are considered Emancipated Minors. This story is for entertainment purposes only and should not be read as a realistic representation of actual romantic or sexual relationships. It is not meant to be a commentary on the political, social, or spiritual ramifications of homosexuality. Content neither condones nor condemns any of the lifestyles or views portrayed. I write these stories because of the interesting dynamics between the characters and complex personality types that inspire the exploration of relationships beyond friendship without regard to gender or preference. I make no money doing this, so please do not sue me for writing it. Constructive feedback is always greatly appreciated!
Author's Notes: This fic was original began for 05/03/04... yeah, I'm REALLY late on this one! I pulled it out for 03/04/05... um, still didn't make it :oops: So, I was determined to finish this thing for today... erm, yesterday *looks at clock and grumbles* Forgive any mistakes. I didn't get it betaed... in other words, I didn't get to read it to Hubby yet because he's asleep ;) Hope it's not too bad...
He watched them from across the room. He could see them giving each other surreptitious glances when the other wasn't looking, could feel the longing from both of them, as well as the guilt that longing caused. It was something that he'd become aware of now, and it had been building more over the past few months since he'd noticed it. Every time the former pilots got together, the two men would dance around their feelings for each other, and Quatre knew it was all because Trowa was afraid of hurting him. The blond businessman sighed heavily. The first time he'd felt the strong emotion shared by his lover and their friend, he'd been completely stunned by the intensity of it, then extremely hurt and angry. How could Trowa love someone else when he'd pledged his heart to him?
Quatre had tried to put it aside, marking it up to hormones, or even infatuation, but when they'd all met again some weeks later, those feelings were still there inside both men. They were now under the surface - so much so that he'd had to reach out to find them at all - but that only showed him that they were being suppressed, which did make him feel a bit better, yet still left him wondering what to do about it. When he and Trowa had gone home later that night, the blond had searched for any diminish in the passion Trowa had for him as they'd made love, but there wasn't any, and he didn't know what to make of the situation. Why didn't Trowa just tell him? Didn't he trust him? Quatre had already known the reasons, but it was the first time he'd had to face how others perceived him, and it still rankled.
Why did everyone think that he had the emotional strength of spun glass? He'd endured the horrors of war twice, the anguish of his father's death that haunted him every day, and the guilt of destroying countless lives - dealing with not only his own emotional baggage but also that of others because his gift seemed to react more strongly during the most painful times. Because of that, he didn't understand the protective tendencies others had for him. People acted like he was fragile, and needed to be handled carefully, when he was probably more tolerant, more understanding, and more open-minded than most of them. It bothered him, and he was beginning to tire of it.
He let his aqua eyes take in the form of his lover. Trowa was talking with Heero in a relaxed manner, but every so often, those green eyes would flash across the room to where Duo bantered with Wufei. There would be an intense swelling of emotion, and then those eyes would glance at Quatre before going back to Heero's face. In like manner, Wufei would shift his gaze from Duo to watch Trowa intermittently, covertly keeping an eye on Quatre as well, the shame and want so strong it was overwhelming. The situation was beyond ridiculous, and Quatre felt a little anger towards both men for underestimating him. Didn't Trowa and Wufei realize that he of all people would be able to sense what was going on between them? Quatre was almost insulted... almost. Instead, he thought about how they were trying to not hurt him by their 'inappropriate' desires, and how in the process, they were hurting themselves. This couldn't continue indefinitely, and the time for ignoring it was long past. He had to do something. He would have to come up with some kind of solution, and then with the alacrity of a Gundam pilot, he would implement it.
It was an hour or so later when Quatre finally made his decision. While sipping on his glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, he looked around the room, noticing that Wufei was standing alone by the doors that led out to the terrace. Perfect, the blond smirked to himself; 'Operation Barton-Chang' was about to commence. As Quatre made his way across the crowded room, he took in his target, assessing him carefully. Wufei's ebony hair had grown longer to fall almost to the middle of his back over the past year. Duo teased the Chinese man mercilessly about developing a hair-fetish to rival his own, but Wufei always responded that he wasn't quite as vain as that. It always made Duo pout, but then Heero would comfort his lover, telling him that vanity could be something good when it pleased someone you love. Soft looks and smiles would always be the result of those words, and although it would make Quatre smile, he could remember how lost Wufei would look when it happened. Quatre suddenly realized that he wanted to take that lost feeling away for good.
As his eyes looked Wufei over, he noted that the other man had grown taller - not quite the height that Trowa had reached, but a good inch or so above Quatre, even though the blond had grown a couple inches himself. Continued martial arts training kept the former Shenlong pilot's body in excellent condition, and the blond was unaccountably fascinated with the well-sculpted compact muscles that even formal attire could not hide. The almost regal bearing that the other man had hinted at his proud ancestry, and watching him lean against the wall so nonchalantly, Quatre was impressed once again by how elegant Chang Wufei was in comparison with the other dignitaries in the room. He had to mentally shake himself before he reached Wufei's side.
"Winner," Wufei greeted amiably, though Quatre could tell there was hesitancy in the other man's actions.
"Wufei, may I speak with you in private for a moment?"
The dark eyes that sought his own held a moment of unease in them before he calmly replied, "Certainly."
Quatre motioned for Wufei to precede him out of the terrace door. The night air was crisp, yet not unpleasantly so, and the blond sighed in appreciation at the contrast to the somewhat stifling air inside. He turned to face the young man who should have been his greatest rival under these circumstances, but was instead a friend and comrade, both now and through some of the toughest times in Quatre's life. He had already thought about how this might affect their friendship if this offended Wufei. The Chinese man had always been passionate, to the point of it clouding his better judgment at times, but Quatre hoped that wouldn't keep him from making the right decision in this case. The blond had weighed the consequences, looked at every tactical perspective he could, and concluded that there was no other way to end this conflict without someone getting hurt. He could only hope that what he was about to suggest would be received as the token of affection and respect it was intended to be.
"Wufei, I'll get right to the heart of the matter," he began. "First of all, I am in no way angry with you over what I'm about to say." The startled expression on Wufei's face gave him pause but he didn't let it stop him. "I've known for some time now that you have romantic feelings for Trowa. I haven't been sure of what to do about it, but I watched you and Trowa tonight and realized that this is hurting both of you, and I can't bear seeing that happen to two people I really care about." He took a deep breath, trying to not think about how all of their happiness relied on his words. "I've come to a decision, and I hope you'll hear me out before getting upset."
Wufei felt his heart plummet as Quatre spoke. He'd tried to be so careful in keeping his feelings to himself, but he just couldn't stop wanting to be in the same room with the former Heavyarms pilot. He couldn't remember when it had begun, but he'd been in agony ever since he'd realized his attraction to Trowa Barton, berating his treacherous heart, wondering if Quatre might discover his secret, and imagining how that would ruin his relationship with both men if it ever happened. He looked at his obsession's lover and didn't know whether to be relieved that this was finally out in the open or ashamed that he'd betrayed someone who deserved to be loved the way Quatre did.
"Quatre... I... " He swallowed. "There is no excuse for my behavior. I apologize, and I hope that you will forgive me. You and Trowa are soul mates, and I don't have any right to even think about him in that way."
"But Trowa has feelings for you too," was the blond's reply. It was said simply, without any animosity.
Wufei shook his head. "No. That's not true. He loves you, Quatre. I'm certain of it. Don't let my dishonorable emotions bring doubt into your relationship." He was stunned when Quatre actually laughed.
"Wufei, your emotions are not dishonorable," the blond informed him with a shake of his head, "nor are they a threat to the love that Trowa and I share."
Wufei bristled at those words. They hurt, even though he didn't believe Quatre had meant them to. The other man was just being honest, but Wufei's mind had always mocked his heart, and he kept asking himself if the reason why his feelings weren't a threat to Quatre was because they were so trivial in the blond's eyes. He quickly pushed those bitter thoughts away, centering himself again. It didn't matter. These two men were his friends, and no matter how much he wished for his own happiness, their happiness meant more to him.
"I would not want to be the reason for any quarrel between you," he finally said.
"But I've found that Trowa has a place in his heart that is not meant for me," Quatre continued, shocking Wufei further. "I believe that part can only be filled by you, my friend, and that is why it can't threaten his love for me."
"I don't... " the Chinese man began, but Quatre cut him off.
"Since we're both in love with Trowa, and he apparently reciprocates those feelings, why not consider... sharing him... between the two of us?"
Wufei sputtered. It was a completely unconventional, heretical, and incomprehensible idea. He couldn't for the life of him understand how Quatre Raberba Winner could even suggest such a thing. That kind of arrangement was just unheard of in gentile circles. The very thought of sharing one's lover with another was downright degrading... could never work... and yet he was actually thinking about agreeing to it if Trowa would. That was insane! He started to tell Winner so, but then paused, remembering the blond's words from moments ago. He forced himself to consider the situation before dismissing it entirely. Could he share Trowa with Quatre? Would time spent with the quiet yet interesting young man Trowa had become prove to be lessened by the knowledge that Quatre would enjoy the same liberties? Wufei didn't know. It could result in utter disaster... or end up becoming something unbelievably good.
Quatre stepped closer to him, placing his hand on his chest over his heart. "I can feel the emotions in both of you. They are strong, Wufei." Aqua eyes gazed at him warmly. "I will not begrudge the happiness of two of my closest friends just because I happen to be in love with one of them. You have been very discreet, denying yourself what your heart desires to keep from hurting Trowa or me, and that means a lot."
"You shame me, Winner," Wufei replied, as he felt his face flush. "I cannot ask this of you."
Quatre smiled brightly. "You're not. I'm offering it to you. I want to give Trowa and you this gift. It's something that only I can give you, and it makes me feel incredible to know that I can do something to not only make Trowa happy, but you as well." He sighed. "I don't want you to feel guilty for loving each other. I want to encourage a bond between you that will not be tainted by regret. Life is too short, Wufei, to let jealousy and pettiness overrule times spent with those we love. Please... let me do this for you... for both of you."
Wufei closed his eyes, wishing he could accept it that easily. "I wouldn't be able to... I mean, just knowing that you would be alone when we were together would make me feel... " He growled in frustration at being so embarrassed. "I just... this is not something that I can suddenly be a part of without feeling like I'm intruding."
"Would it help if I was in the room with you, at least this first time?"
Wufei's eyes flew open, and he felt his face heat up even more. "What?"
Quatre laughed, apparently amused by the situation. 'The bastard,' Wufei thought uncharitably as the blond went on to explain, "I am not beyond being involved with both of you, Wufei. You are quite handsome, and if it would make it easier for you to be with Trowa, I am certainly willing to participate... tonight... and in the future."
Wufei just stared at him for a moment, unable to come up with a response to that. Would it make it better if Quatre was there... watching... maybe even enjoying Trowa as well? The proud Chinese man had never allowed himself to entertain such wild fantasies. To maybe let Trowa take him, while Quatre was with them, possible taking Trowa... Wufei shivered at the thought, but not out of disgust or fear. He let his eyes roam over the blond's body and felt his own respond with surprising interest. He couldn't deny what he wanted - what he was beginning to realize that he could have - so he took a deep breath and met Quatre's gaze steadily.
"What do you want me to do?"
Trowa made his way to bed, tired from the festivities, and a little worried about his lover. Quatre had disappeared over an hour ago, which was highly unusual for the young man who had always tried to conform to proper social etiquette. Trowa had taken over the blond's duties in his absence, bidding the guests who were leaving goodnight, and seeing to rooms for those who were staying at their residence until tomorrow. It was a lot of work sometimes, but he didn't begrudge Quatre his parties; on the contrary, they always gave him with the chance to see the people that were good friends. A traitorous part of his heart singled out one of those friends as something more, and the brunet sighed heavily at the guilt he felt for his wayward feelings, suppressing the desire to dwell on his forbidden love. Love - he couldn't deny that was what he felt, even if it did bring elation and devastation in its wake.
He placed his hand on the doorknob to his and Quatre's room, his intentions of torturing himself turning into making love to the blond instead. Perhaps if he let Quatre take him, he would forget about those burning kohl eyes that held him captive, that tempting powerful body, and that long obsidian hair. Taking a deep breath, he tried to banish those longings, knowing that Quatre would sense them. He wasn't sure that he was even keeping them from his lover any longer. Quatre had been increasingly pensive lately, and Trowa couldn't help but worry that he was hurting him, even if he wasn't being unfaithful.
'Unfaithful in mind is the same as unfaithful in body,' his conscience reminded him, and Trowa sighed as he opened the door and walked inside. The sight that met him was an unexpected one to say the least.
Wufei was sitting in one of the chairs, his hair free from its confining ponytail, and nothing on but a pair of black silk pajama bottoms. Trowa blinked, completely stunned. Why was Wufei in his bedroom? Had he unknowingly made an advance of some kind? He thought back to their brief conversation when he and Heero had joined Wufei and Duo earlier, but Trowa couldn't think of a single thing that would have prompted something like this. He was getting ready to demand that the other man leave before Quatre showed up, but then a slight movement caught his attention, and he looked over to see his blond lover emerging from the side bathroom, also only wearing a pair of silk pajama bottoms, only in a rich shimmering brown.
"It's about time you showed up," Quatre greeted him with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "We were beginning to wonder if we'd have to begin without you."
Trowa looked over at Wufei to see the other man's face turning a fetching shade of red. He then focused on Quatre again, angry that he would degrade their friend in this manner. "What is the meaning of this?"
Quatre walked up to him, placing his arms around Trowa's neck gently. Trowa's hands went to the blond's narrow waist automatically, and the look on his lover's face was enough to dispel all of the taller man's anger in a heartbeat as Quatre spoke softly. "I know how you feel about Wufei, and I know how he feels about you." Trowa's eyes cut to the other man; unable to believe his feelings were reciprocated. Quatre's voice continued, drawing his attention back to him as he said, "I don't want you to have to choose between us, love. Let me do this for you, even if you would never ask it of me. Let us love you, Trowa, and love us both the way you've been wanting to."
Trowa's eyes shifted from the man in his arms to the one waiting across the room. He could see how uncomfortable Wufei was, but the Chinese man met his gaze unflinchingly. "I'm willing, Trowa. If you truly want me, then I will share your bed... and your heart."
Trowa closed his eyes. Was he dreaming? Could this really be happening? He opened them again, but the vision had not changed. He looked back at Quatre, noting the hopeful expression on the blond's face. "It's not that you're love isn't enough... " he began, but Quatre placed a finger on his lips to quiet him.
"I know your heart, Trowa Barton. I know how much you love me. I haven't any doubt that you would give me a thousand grains of sand, one by one, if it would make me happy." He paused and then continued, "But I also know that you need something that I cannot give you. If Wufei can, I want to give you the chance to let him. Perhaps... perhaps it's something I need as well."
Trowa leaned down and kissed Quatre on the forehead. "I could never love anyone more than you."
Quatre beamed at him. "Nor could I, but I think we can love Wufei just as much, don't you?"
Trowa released him and walked over to stand in front of the man in question. He gazed up at Trowa, longing and trepidation evident. The taller man smiled as he reached out to caress his cheek. "Are you sure you want to do this? I never would have thought you'd feel the same way I do, and I certainly wouldn't have expected you to do this."
Wufei leaned into the touch hesitantly, almost as if it was against his will to do so, but unable to resist. "I didn't want to hurt Quatre... or you. That didn't make my feelings any less." He then stood, his body barely brushing against Trowa, embarrassment driven away by desire. "I want to know you, Trowa Barton. I want to feel you against me, to know what you sound like when you make love. I want to be part of you."
It was like liquid fire raced through Trowa's veins. He looked over at Quatre and saw the blond already lying back on the bed. As he settled against the pillows, his voice called out to them. "Trowa, I want you to take me while Wufei takes you. Will that be all right?"
Trowa wanted to laugh. All right? It would be damn near perfect. He gave Wufei a heated look. "More than all right. If this is what you both want, then I'm all yours."
With that, he took Wufei's hand and led the other man over to the blond waiting for them.
It was awkward at first. Wufei had never been with another man, so getting used to being with two was a little intimidating. Quatre's encouragement and Trowa's desire helped him to overcome his initial uncertainty. Quatre was surprised by how excited he became while he watched Trowa touch Wufei and vice versa. He already knew how those hands felt, and seeing that pleasure reflected on Wufei's face was incredible. Trowa was still trying to accept what was happening. His eyes kept seeking out Quatre's, looking for approval and receiving it. When he reached over and began touching his blond lover through his pants at the same time he caressed Wufei's velvety hardness that had been pulled free, it was like the tension between them broke.
Quatre leaned across Wufei and kissed Trowa hungrily. When he'd finished with his taller lover, he looked down at his new one and then descended, his lips meeting the other man's in their first kiss. It wasn't like kissing Trowa, and Quatre was instantly intrigued by that difference. Trowa was like reserved sensuality while Wufei was all restrained passion. He could sense that the Chinese man's control was slipping, and it thrilled him to know they were the ones who were responsible. His hand joined Trowa's, stroking over Wufei's shaft in tandem. The blond kept kissing Wufei, his fingers grasping Trowa's as they pleasured the man on the bed with them.
Wufei was floating in sensation. When Quatre parted their kiss, Trowa took over, possessing his mouth in a way that made his shaft throb within the other two men's hands. He tried to caress them in return, feeling inadequate, but not wanting to leave them unsatisfied. Twin groans signaled his success in stroking two very different erections, yet he lost his feeling of accomplishment when Trowa and Quatre both moved away from him. His kohl eyes looked up at them questioningly.
Quatre noticed Wufei's worry first and smiled at him in reassurance. "Time to change positions. We don't want this to be over before it's even begun, do we?"
Wufei reddened as Trowa snickered, turned onto his side to get a bottle from the nightstand. "Believe me, Wufei. It will be much better to come inside of me than on me." He looked over his shoulder and smirked. "Though that can be good too."
"I never would have thought you two were so... so... " Wufei didn't know the right word for what he was seeing.
"Playful in bed?" The blond offered. When Wufei nodded absently, Quatre moved closer to him to run his fingers through the other man's freed hair. "It can keep a relationship healthy."
Trowa closed the drawer and turned back over, giving Quatre a look before focusing on Wufei. "What he means is that you'll get used to his giggling after a while." The brunet grinned rakishly. "He's ticklish."
Wufei's eyes met indignant aqua ones. "Trowa!" Those eyes then turned embarrassed as Quatre nodded. "Yes, I am. In the most... odd places."
The Chinese man raised an eyebrow. "Do I want to know?"
"You will," both men replied, smiling at each other fondly.
It progressed from there rather predictably. Or at least it did for Quatre and Trowa. Wufei moved to the side to give them room as he watched Trowa prepare the blond for penetration, something Wufei would have to do for Trowa as well. He was smirking by the time the brunet had Quatre ready because the Winner heir had giggled the entire time, squirming on the bed, and begging Trowa to 'hurry up' in gasping breaths. When Trowa looked over at him, lube in hand, Wufei swallowed and took it.
Quatre watched as Wufei kneeled behind his lover. The blond could feel the excitement and anxiousness from both men, but as he'd discovered when they'd begun earlier, their feelings only amplified his own. He kept expecting to feel jealous, or at least uncomfortable, but he just didn't. Seeing Trowa's eyes close when Wufei's finger penetrated him was something so beautiful that Quatre wanted to cry. Quatre had taken Trowa before, but he knew that Trowa preferred to take him. He had a feeling that Wufei would be able to fulfill the role Trowa needed... to maybe even giving Quatre something along the way. He smiled and reached down to stroke Trowa, possibly to remind him of his presence, but mostly to give his lover more pleasure.
Trowa's breath caught as strong fingers caressed him. He opened his eyes to see Quatre looking at him. Although there was a small smile on his lips, Trowa could tell that Quatre was letting him know that the blond was there. He felt a wave of tenderness go through him, wondering at this gift that the other man was giving to him so freely. He pushed back against Wufei's fingers, loving how they felt within him, and then leaned down to kiss Quatre, making a different kind of smile light up his face. When Wufei kissed his neck, Trowa groaned, reveling in the feeling of having what he'd wanted - what he'd denied he wanted - without having to hurt one of the men he loved.
Wufei took a shaky breath as he continued to stretch his lover. His lover. Trowa was going to be his now. The thought was incredible. He looked over Trowa's shoulder, seeing Quatre stroking the brunet, but then the blond's eyes met Wufei's, and there was a moment of possessiveness in aqua. Wufei nodded, making a silent vow to not take this away from the blond, to only share in what was there already. The look softened to acceptance, and the Chinese man smiled back. Even if the former Sandrock pilot had some territorial reactions, he was opening his bedroom to Wufei, offering him more than the Chinese man could ever ask for. Wufei would treat him equally, giving him as much pleasure and attention as he did Trowa. Quatre had promised no less.
When both men were ready, Trowa positioned himself against Quatre, draping the other man's legs over his arms, as he pressed inside him steadily, pulling out and pushing forward a bit at the time, until he was fully sheathed. It was then that Wufei began entering him. Quatre tried to remain relaxed as Trowa adjusted to Wufei. Trowa tried to not tense up as Wufei finally seated himself. Wufei just tried not to come. It was a strange tableau that was broken when Quatre began laughing.
"Come on, guys. We were Gundam pilots. We don't need to be so damn careful."
Trowa chuckled, the motion causing him to tighten around Wufei the way that Quatre had him. "He's right, Fei."
Wufei gritted his teeth. "Both of you need to stay still or we're all going to be disappointed."
Quatre's eyes took in the strained look on the Chinese man's face and grinned. "Why, Chang Wufei... don't you have more stamina than that?"
It served its purpose to pull Wufei from the edge. "We'll see who has stamina, Winner."
"He can outlast both of us, Wufei," Trowa informed him in a voice that didn't sound insulted at all.
Wufei growled and began pulling out of Trowa's body. Trowa followed his example, causing Quatre to moan as he plunged back inside of the blond the way Wufei did him. After that, there were no more words or laughter. Groans and gasps filled the bedroom, sweat coved their bodies, and they moved together in a rhythm that would become as familiar as their tactics during the wars. Quatre reached down and began stroking himself, wanting to be the one to set off the fireworks that were beginning to happen. He came loudly and copiously, the creamy fluid covering his hand as he continued to pump himself. For some reason, he felt at peace. Watching the other two men moving together, the blond realized that he'd needed something more too... something he'd found.
Surprisingly, Wufei came next, his shouts of pleasure echoing Trowa's as the other man began to go over the edge as well. Wufei felt Trowa tighten around him as he released his passion into the brunet, staking his claim on Trowa in a way he'd never thought possible. His eyes sought out Quatre's again, seeing a pleased look on the man's face. It made it seem right somehow. Wufei had never imagined that the blond's involvement would deepen the experience, but it had, and he knew that it had shown him that there as more to his emotions than the ones he had for Trowa. They might take time to develop towards the Quatre, but the Chinese man was certain they would.
Gripped by Quatre and filled by Wufei, Trowa felt a completeness that overwhelmed him and finally knew what he'd been missing. His orgasm rolled through him like a summer storm, powerful and refreshing, taking his breath away with the intensity. His seed poured into the blond under him, as it had so many times before, but it seemed different somehow, more meaningful, and their eyes met in a moment of pure unity. When those aqua eyes shifted to include Wufei in a sated look, Trowa smiled, knowing that this moment would be the beginning of something none of them would ever regret.
The three men collapsed onto the bed, sweaty and sticky, but draped over each other. Breathing returned to normal, and each of them contemplated showers, but the appeal of being together in bed made getting clean a distant chore. No words were spoken. Tomorrow they would worry about this new arrangement. Tomorrow they would discuss how to make it work, how to keep friendship between all three of them while being lovers, and how to find a way to get Wufei moved in as quickly as possible.
Tomorrow would come soon enough, but for tonight, their desires had been quenched and their hearts were full.
The End
(:./tk/desire)
