NOTE: This commentary is a companion piece to The Drums of Heaven.
This is not actually an entire commentary – not of the sort I'd begun doing, at least – but more of a strange thank-you to those folks who've anxiously asked me about how long they'd have to wait for the next chapter. I mean, I did leave one story with fire and brimstone and the other in a nightclub, and you can't get more cliffhanging than that. At least, not if you're me.
I spent the week in Portland, dealing with a really boring conference (which seems to be the only kind there really is, now that I think about it) and I didn't take my laptop rather than deal with airport security. I can vouch for the fact that the airports were far more organized and fast-moving than they were pre-nine-eleven, which was a plus. Anyway, this meant I was at the hotel without a way to write. Not that this made a difference – stupid location didn't have a single television on the premises. Normally I wouldn't mind, but sometimes it's nice to see FLCL before going to bed, especially when you forgot to hit the "record" button before leaving your house. Oh, and no phones in the rooms, no air conditioning – although that last part wasn't too bad. A body from Georgia could get used to 60% humidity. It didn't get over 82F the whole time we were there – so you can imagine my great dislike at landing back in the Mid-Atlantic region to find 95F and 88% humidity.
Oh, it's good to be home.
So anyway, this is my strange sort of thank-you. Hope you enjoy, and don't expect it to make too much sense unless you're familiar with Gundam, Weiß, Yuu Yuu Hakusho, Creek, Hills, and have read some of the GW fandom and a dose or two of my regular reviewers.
--- BEGIN TRANSMISSION ---
Trowa: Heero? What's Duo doing with the tape recorder?
Heero: No idea. Afraid to ask.
Quatre: Mail from Zef!
Wufei: What does it say?
Trowa: Duo, take that microphone off the ceiling fan!
Duo: I want to see if I can duplicate the effect of Leslie 147s.
Wufei: In some alternate universe, someone might understand what he just said.
Quatre: Hey! Let's read the letter first, before everyone gets here.
Hilde: Hey guys! Your door was open. I brought potato salad.
Relena: Hilde, I blocked you in. Quatre! I brought three bags of ice --- can someone help me carry them in?
Heero: I'll do it.
Relena: Thanks. Car's unlocked.
Trowa: The grill's heating right now.
Relena: Hilde, how've you been? Oh, I like that haircut. New?
Hilde: Just styling it differently ---
Wufei: The letter! Quatre, please, before we're girl-cootied out of existence.
Quatre: Okay, first... *clears throat* "I do hope you're all continuing with the chapter commentaries while I'm gone. It'd be nice if you could catch up on those."
Heero: Oh.
Duo: Right.
Trowa: Oops.
Quatre: We can do those tonight.
Relena: What, after the party? You're kidding. Duo, Ken, and Yusuke will be sunburnt and drunk, Omi and Quatre will be locked in another life-or-death chess game, and Heero, Aya, and Hiei won't be talking to anyone for fear of losing their two-year staring contest.
Hilde: Well, there's no chance. They'll all be outranked, since I hear Kohaku and Chihiro will be here.
Heero: Ice is in the cooler now. Is Kohaku-sama cooking?
Duo: Ellie says he's volunteered. She's bringing Chinese beer. Daniel's bringing hot dog and hamburger buns.
Wufei: Since when are you aware of a party's to-do list?
Duo: I'm reading it off Quatre's list.
Trowa: Speaking of which, what else does Zefyr have to say?
Quatre: Several paragraphs of ranting about Oregon drivers. Apparently if the speed limit is 55, they all do 52.
Duo: You're kidding!
Heero: Note to self: don't let Duo drive in Oregon.
Duo: Me? I'm scared for all the people dealing with Zef's driving.
Hilde: I bet you pizza money Zef's already got the window down and is screaming at people on the highway to get the hell out of the way. Has Zef ever done under sixty-five?
Trowa: Only in a thirty-five mile an hour zone.
Quatre: Anyway, there's also several paragraphs of complaints about the hotel. They're pretty funny.
Duo: Do we have to listen to that? Just give us a summary. I'm hungry.
Quatre: Zef went through all that to write us, least we could do is pay attention.
Duo: Fat lot of effort to write. Look how many chapters we got in the week before the trip. I don't see the...
Heero: Shut up, Duo before I duct-tape you to that ceiling fan.
Duo: Promise?
Quatre: Alright, getting to the personal part of the leter. Zef says, "Wufei, I spent two hours at the Portland Chinatown Heritage Garden, and had an early lunch at the tea house. Delightful selection of teas. Bringing back some hibiscus."
Wufei: Presents!
Quatre: "Also, you better not have drunk all my green tea."
Wufei: Oops.
Quatre: Uh-oh.
Trowa: What?
Quatre: Says here: "Heero, I know you're going to throw a party. Just please do not let the Weiß Kreuz boys come over. Ken seems to have recovered, but Aya may still be harboring a grudge for the lack of lemons in the WK story I did."
Duo: I see Zef's not completely stupid.
Heero: Too late now. Aya's Porsche just pulled up.
Hilde: Is Youji coming? Did he say?
Relena: Oh! Youji! *swoon*
Quatre: Yeah. *off Heero's look* What? It's a package deal. You want us to leave you behind the next time Kurama invites us over? Your stare completely unnerves Keiko and Yukina.
Heero: They deal with Hiei just fine. Why am I---
Duo: Heero, just take our word for it. Better yet, come over here and let me make it all better for ya. I wanna show Lainwyn how to really make you scream like a girl ---
Ken: HEY EVERYONE! Trowa! Duo, busy already? Heero, pleasure, no, don't let me stop you. Quatre! Big hug! Wufei, how's that motorcycle coming along? Need any parts?
Wufei: I just came back from a swap-meet yesterday. I can show you in the garage...
Quatre: Hold on, Wufei, there's more. Zef also says: "Duo, I've spent the past three days coming up with a series of delightful lemons for the latest story."
Duo: MMmsmmff---what? Lemons? Hold that thought, Heero, we're getting ---
Quatre: Oh. Wait, I should've read the rest of the paragraph. "But I've decided it just won't fit in the story, so I'm going to downgrade back to PG-13. No lemons for you, baby."
Ken: I warned you...
Quatre: "And by the time you read this, I'll be on a flight to Brazil."
Duo: Zefyr is DEAD MEAT!
Heero: Ow! That was my---
Duo: (Sorry.) ---Quatre, let me at that letter, I'm gonna burn it in effigy!
Quatre: *eep* Heero! Help!
Heero: Trowa---
Trowa: Got him---
Duo: HEY!
Aya: Chill. Just ask for a sequel. Wufei, if you're going to play with bike parts, please try to return Ken somewhat clean.
Trowa: Aya, relax. Ken is a grease amateur compared to Duo --- and Nlp can quote me on that.
Youji: Say, Relena, you're looking gorgeous these days. And I love the hair, Hilde.
Hilde: *swoon*
Relena: *swoon*
Quatre: Next bit, Zef says: "Trowa, I don't know what you did the last time you borrowed my Rebel, but the auto-focus on my 28-80 doesn't work anymore."
Trowa: Uh...
Duo: I can fix that. Yeah. I'll fix Zef. *mutter* Stupid no-lemon decision. Okay, Heero, you can let go of me now.
Heero: Hmm... nope.
Quatre: Zef also says... oh. Hm. Oh! Well. Okay. Anyway, Zef says: "Bringing back some cool trinkets for the girls that I found at the beach."
Heero: Zef went to the beach? Zef? The mountain person from hell?
Duo: It was probably Endless Summer that prompted the interest.
Hilde: Trowa likes that one cause of the part about sharks.
Trowa: Sharks are cool.
Hilde: And you're crazy.
Heero: Don't even get me started on fanfiction right now. *grump*
Ken: What's with him?
Quatre: Duo and Heero are reading Inseparable. And Duo appears to have died in the last chapter.
Omi: That would be upsetting to read about.
Relena: Not nearly as bad as me making moves on Duo. *mutter* Kiya Sama and her evil plot twists...
Duo: Bad? What are you implying?
Relena: Nooooothing. *eyeroll*
Quatre: Omi-kun! When did you get here? Where were you?
Omi: I was organizing the picnic table for approach and getaway.
Quatre: What?
Omi: I am not coming between Duo, Ken, and food.
Aya: So Heero's revealing his soft side, worried about Duo.
Trowa: Not really. Mostly he was livid that although he supposedly 'died' in that chapter too, all the reviewers were only upset about Duo dying. He gets a little sensitive about those things.
Aya: I can relate. Being the lead role doesn't always mean all the attention. It's a good story otherwise, though?
Trowa: Definitely. Dyna's got a lot of stuff.
Quatre: Did you see the new crossover --- Abhorsen, I think it was? Djana's latest.
Aya: No. Is it film noir or detective?
Trowa: Fantasy, I'd say.
Aya: Tell Ken about it, then. He and Omi are big on fantasy/magic and other mystical stories. I think Omi was just reading Renee's story the other day.
Quatre: Which one?
Omi: Lightening The Shadows. Ooh, I wish we could get Renee over to our fandom. *sniffle* It's just not fair.
Trowa: I tend to go for ones with continuity, so CalicoCat's stuff remains a perennial favorite.
Heero: I'm sticking with Endless Summer. I like the whole surfing thing.
Duo: I want a LEMON! Hell, Aryl's got a whole club of reviewers demanding it! Damn it, Quatre, let me see that letter---
Quatre: ---hands off! Tro---
Duo: ---gimme that---
Trowa: SIT!
Duo: Hunh?
Quatre: Hah.
Trowa: I want the letter. Hand it over.
Quatre: Uh-oh.
Trowa: *reading* Oh... My... This is interesting.
Relena: So, Youji, what are you doing these days?
Youji: Working with Weiß Kreuz Gluhen. Keeps me pretty busy. You?
Hilde: Working on starting a Beta-Reading business with KevinEC. Between his editorial expertise, and my first-hand knowledge in the industry, we think we can corner the internet market.
Relena: Got a minor part in Rose Hip Rose, but I'm hoping it pans into something regular.
Youji: Oh? I had no idea... *leer*
Hilde: *pout*
Relena: *smirk*
Ken: Yusuke and Keiko are here, with Kurama and Hiei! But who're the people in the jeep, behind them?
Wufei: The blond guy is Daniel.
Ken: Daniel... Oh, I heard about that. You mean Matthew.
Wufei: No, Daniel. Zef changed his name back after Raye-Rei threw the voting. Daremo may still get it changed, just on the basis of persistence.
Ken: Zef should've left well enough alone.
Wufei: And the redhead is Ellie, and the guy who looks like Heero with long hair and an only slightly more welcoming expression is Kohaku-sama, and the girl next to him is Chihiro.
Ken: She's cute.
Wufei: You're welcome to try. I hear dragons are possessive.
Ken: So he really is a dragon?
Wufei: Feel free to test the theory. Duo's missing six inches off his braid after Kohaku slit it with a claw.
Ken: I don't even want to know what the guy was doing.
Wufei: Looking at Chihiro, I think.
Ken: In that case, I'll be over next to Aya, I think.
Omi: What? Oh! Everyone! The Creek folks are here, and the Yuu Yuu Hakusho guys!
Duo: Zef's not done a story about Yuu Yuu Hakusho. How come they can be here?
Heero: I think there was a crossover someone that percolated into authorial mindset.
Duo: Zef was contaminated.
Heero: Something like that.
Trowa: Quatre, put that down.
Quatre: Put which down? The chocolate or the beer?
Trowa: The chocolate.
Duo: I think later I'll take the tape recording and remix it or something. Wonder how that fan-mike is picking things up.
Heero: Geek.
Ellie: We brought the stuff for banana splits!
Chihiro: And a watermelon!
Hilde: Ellie! Chihiro!
Relena: Hey you two! It's been so long!
Chihiro: If Weiß is here, where's Rai?
Relena: She and Schuldig are vacationing in Venice right now.
Aya: They got a lemon.
Ken: No, they got make-out sessions. There's a difference.
Trowa: Quat, pay attention. Put down the chocolate.
Quatre: *sulk*
Ken: Why?
Kurama: Chocolate?
Trowa: *waving letter* Look, it says very clearly in Zef's letter that "if the house's supply of chocolate and caffeine is gone by my return, Quatre will suddenly find himself as one-half of a non-existent unrequited love affair in the next chapter" --- with a certain person who will remained unnamed, like, ME.
Hiei: Interesting.
Heero: Hiei.
Hiei: Heero.
Duo: Aww, they're bonding.
Aya: Hiei.
Hiei: Ran.
Chihiro: Kurama-kun!
Kurama: Ah, Chihiro-chan, how delightful to see you again.
Kohaku: Hiei.
Hiei: Kohaku-sama. Have you been well?
Kohaku: As well as can be expected, given the author in question.
Kurama: They're socializing. Interesting.
Trowa: So if you know what's good for us, put down that chocolate and figure out how you're going to restock Zef's house before the plane lands at 9pm.
Duo: But I thought Zef was heading ---
Kurama: Zef gets back today? Is there going to be time to clean everything up?
Wufei: Don't involve me in this. I just brought the cole slaw.
Daniel: We could've done this at our house.
Yusuke: Do you have a big enough backyard for the volleyball net?
Chihiro: Volleyball?
Ellie: Girls on one team, guys on the other! Besides, the guys are welcome to Hiei.
Wufei: Hiei is a good fighter.
Relena: But he's still fuzzy on the notion of 'spiking' anything, let alone a volleyball.
Kurama: *chuckle* Ahem. Yes, there is that.
Hiei: What?
Ken: I brought extra volleyballs.
Heero: Learned your lesson, I see.
Keiko: I kick ass in volleyball. I'm in.
Yusuke: I am not playing against her.
Youji: Scared?
Yusuke: Hell yeah!
Keiko: Bang.
Relena: You really need to teach me your secrets, Keiko.
Hilde: Say, where's Botan and Yukina? Aren't they coming?
Hiei: *eep*
Kurama: I believe they're shopping today. But we could always call them...
Hiei: *eep*
Kurama: Or not.
Ken: Trowa, should flames be shooting out of the grill, three feet high?
Duo: Oh! Fire pretty.
Heero: Moron.
Trowa: By the way, Duo, there's a postscript. It says: "just kidding, lemon coming."
Duo: YES! Hey, Heero, you wanna start practi ---
End Part 11
(:./sol/behind11)
