Title: Coming Of Age -- 6/?
Author: tkmaxwell777
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi/Het
Pairings: 2x4x2, 1+2, 5+H
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst, Language, Sap
Archived: Yep! Thanks Lev :), TK's Violet Haven
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. You want them back? Sorry... they just said they like my universe better, so :P *runs off to write more hentai fics for fun*
Duo pulled his room card out of his pocket, thanking God that he'd decided not to leave it in the bag that was still at the club. He was intent upon getting inside, packing his clothes, and leaving before anything else could happen. He felt completely humiliated. How could Trowa have said those things about him? How could Trowa think that he would treat Quatre like that? He loved Quatre, as much as he did Heero, the longhaired boy now realized. How could Trowa think so little of him? He and Trowa had never been good friends, but Duo had thought that they had at least respected each other. Now, it seemed like he had never even known the other boy. Duo felt the tears filling his eyes, but he took a deep breath and pushed them away; boys don't cry.
Even hurt, L2, street-trash boys.
Duo fumbled with the plastic passkey, his hands shaking with emotion. He jumped when another hand closed over his, pulling it away from the security lock. Duo jerked, but the hand tightened, and he turned to see who was restraining him. His violet eyes took in Heero standing behind him. Duo could only think of one reason why the other boy would be there, and his anger escalated, not at Heero, but at himself. After all, hadn't he propositioned Heero like a good little whore? He shouldn't blame the other boy for wanting him to go through with it.
"Listen, Heero, I know I promised you a good time, but I'm gonna hafta refuse. I don't wanna ruin you the way I did Quatre, so I think it'd be best for both of us if you just walk away now while you can." Duo tried to turn back around, but Heero wouldn't let him.
"Please don't run away," the familiar voice said calmly.
Duo flinched slightly when Heero brought his other hand to rest on his shoulder, almost creating a loose embrace. The caressing tone in Heero's voice was shocking, and for once, Duo didn't know what to say. He felt Heero move closer, one hand going to his waist, the other sliding from his shoulder to his neck, fingers slipping into the hair at Duo's nape. Oh, but it felt so good. Duo's heart wavered in its resolve to make Heero leave. He'd wanted to feel Heero touch him like this for so long.
Heero had followed Duo all the way back to the hotel, carefully keeping out of sight so as to not scare the longhaired boy into running elsewhere. The Japanese boy's anger at Trowa was still so great that he didn't think he would be able to speak to the former Heavyarms pilot until he calmed down quite a bit. At the moment, his main concern was keeping Duo from leaving. Duo Maxwell's creed was something the violet-eyed boy followed to the letter, and running to hide was something Heero knew Duo would try to do in a situation like this. He also knew that Duo needed someone to tell him that it was going to be all right; Heero wanted to be that someone.
"No one believes what Trowa said, Duo. Especially not me."
Duo felt the pain lance through him again, and this time, the tears he'd been fighting won the battle with his pride. He tried to pull away, but Heero only held him closer, making him feel comforted and cornered at the same time. Duo looked away, unable to meet Heero's gaze as he spoke, "Why? Not like I acted any different than what Trowa said, right? You and I were going to meet after the party, and I hadn't even spoken to you in almost two years now. How do you know I wasn't going to just fuck you and leave?" Duo felt sick for even saying something like that, but he couldn't control the anger he felt at being so degraded in front of everyone, and Heero being so sure of his motives when the other boy hadn't even been in contact with him since the war ended just pissed Duo off more. Heero shouldn't assume anything.
Heero lifted Duo's face, wiping away the tears trailing down the other boy's cheek. "Because I know you better than that. Even though we've been colonies away, I know the kind of person you are, and you would never treat anyone like that," he replied soothingly, his other hand still buried in Duo's hair, caressing the silky strands still in the ponytail. "I know that you care for Quatre too much to hurt him the way Trowa was accusing you." He paused, wanting for his words to get through to the other boy. "I don't know why he thinks you could do that, Duo, but I know that you couldn't, because I know you. He obviously doesn't."
Duo wanted to believe that Heero meant that. He tried to let the other boy's words restore some of his shattered confidence. Duo had worked so hard to make the salvage yard a success, to make the band something he could be proud of, to make his life mean something; in one moment, Trowa had destroyed everything good Duo felt about himself. He'd made Duo feel so dirty, and the longhaired boy didn't need to be reminded of how that felt. It was something he'd lived with everyday while on the streets growing up, not because he'd had to have sex to survive like so many others had, but because everyone THOUGHT he had. He had fought with himself all through both wars, trying to overcome his desire to avoid sex altogether, and had finally learned how good it felt being intimate with someone. Trowa's words had made his self-esteem plummet. He desperately needed for someone to make him feel like he was worth something; he wanted Heero to be that someone.
"So where do we go from here?" Duo asked, violet seeking blue for reassurance.
Heero considered his options. He didn't want to be in the room when Quatre returned. There would be time to speak with the blonde later, after he and Duo had a chance to talk about some things. "Why don't we go back to my room and talk?" He saw Duo narrow his eyes and added with a frustrated sigh, "Only talk, Duo. I'm not expecting anything else from you unless YOU decide you want something more, okay?"
Duo thought for a moment. They did need to talk... about a lot of things. "All right," he agreed softly.
With a nod, Heero turned and walked down the hall, Duo following close behind him.
"I don't want to talk about it, Cathy. Just leave me alone."
Catherine stood there, gray eyes blazing as she watched Trowa turn away. She wanted to throttle him. Ever since they had discovered that they truly were brother and sister, Catherine had taken her role as sibling even more seriously. She'd noticed over the past year that Trowa had retreated within himself, avoiding others more and more, but she hadn't realized the true extent of his pain... until now.
"Trowa, the things you said to Duo were completely unjustifiable, and you know it! Did you do it just to hurt Quatre? If you did, you sure as hell succeeded."
Trowa turned to face her, his green eyes hard. "Duo is going to hurt him a hell of a lot more than me before this is over. Didn't you see how he was coming onto Heero right in front of Quatre? Didn't you see how upset Quatre was? I could tell he was fighting his own feelings, and that Duo was the cause of it."
Catherine shook her head. "Quatre told you that he and Duo agreed to allow each other one more chance to pursue a relationship outside of what they have together. I'm sure they have strong feelings for each other, but Quatre would never agree to something unless he wanted to, Trowa. I don't think you're giving Quatre enough credit. He's not stupid, and he certainly would never let someone treat him as badly as you're accusing Duo of treating him. Besides, you should know that Duo wouldn't do something like that! And Quatre was very obviously singing to Heero during that last song. If anything, I wouldn't be surprised if HE was interested in Heero too! Hell, they could all three work this out between them still!"
Trowa growled. "That's what I mean! That's Duo's influence. Quatre would never even consider something like that if it weren't for him. He's turned Quatre into a sex-crazed deviant! Did you see how they were together on stage? They might as well been fucking in front of everyone!"
"Trowa, there was nothing wrong with how they acted on stage tonight," Catherine grated out. "They were sexy and suggestive, but they were not crude nor lewd. You have completely let your perception of this get out of control." Catherine knew she had to make Trowa confront what was really bothering him. She tried to soften her voice, knowing that this was going to be hard for him to face. "Listen, I know how much of a shock it was for you to see how much Quatre has changed, but Trowa, he's a good-looking, downright sensual guy, and you can't expect him to remain your sweet innocent asexual friend for the rest of his life."
Trowa glared at her, pure rage in his eyes. "Get out..."
Catherine stood her ground. "Truth hurt, little brother? Well, it's time for you to finally admit how you feel! I know Quatre hurt you, but you have to understand that you hurt him just as much. Both of you were wrong, and this may be your only chance to fix what happened between you. You're trying to hold onto how he used to be, and it'll never work, Trowa. You have to accept the person he's become, and learn how to appreciate that person for who and what he is. Hiding from the truth will not make things better. Neither will lashing out at innocent people."
"Duo is not innocent!" Trowa yelled, his control finally snapping. "He took my best friend and turned him into a... into a..."
"Sexually-active young man," Catherine stated firmly. "That's all he did, Trowa. Quatre already preferred guys, or have you forgotten?"
Trowa clenched his fists. "Get out, Cathy. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Get out!"
"You have to be honest with yourself, Trowa. Quatre wanted you, but you didn't want him. He was already searching for a lover when he came to you. When you rejected him, he went to someone he knew he could trust. All Duo did was give him what he needed, and nothing you say will make it into something other than two friends becoming lovers. They care about each other. Even I can see that."
Trowa shook his head in denial, refusing to believe what Catherine was saying; suddenly, as if he couldn't take her insistent stare any longer, he stalked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Catherine stood for a moment, considering what to do. When she heard strangled sobs coming from the other room, she knew there was only one way to solve this problem. Her brother was a complete idiot sometimes... but she loved him. It was time to prove how much.
Quatre sat at the table, sipping his Coke. He was in the hotel lounge, alone, trying to reason out all that had happened in the past couple of hours. Everything had been going so well for Duo, and then Trowa had to ruin everything. The blonde was so angry with the other boy. He couldn't understand why Trowa had acted that way. It wasn't as if Trowa wanted to become Quatre's lover, so why was he so critical of Duo? Quatre hadn't sensed any jealousy. So what was driving Trowa to behave this way? He sighed heavily, taking another sip of his soda. The blonde knew that Heero had gone after Duo, so he wasn't really worried about his longhaired lover...
Former lover. That thought hurt, but Quatre knew he needed to face the reality of the situation: Heero was interested in Duo, Duo was in love with Heero, and they would become lovers, probably before the night was over. Actually, that thought wasn't what was so upsetting. Quatre was glad that they would become lovers; it would fulfill one of Duo's most precious dreams, and Quatre wanted Duo to be happy. That's what truly loving someone meant, and Quatre knew he loved Duo more than anyone. He'd told Trowa that no more than a half hour ago. What hurt was thinking that he'd never get to be with Duo again. Quatre loved how the braided boy made him feel when they were making love, how they seemed to know what the other needed, and how they gave of themselves to each other until those needs were met.
That was what he was going to miss most.
Quatre smiled slightly as he remembered how Heero had looked during the song. There had been a teasing gleam in those blue eyes, something Quatre had never seen before. Even before that, at dinner, it had truly been enjoyable talking with Heero. The Japanese boy had changed since the last time Quatre had seen him. Maybe... maybe Heero would want to get to know him all over again, just like he seemed to want to with Duo. Maybe Heero would let him remain on L2 with them, just in a separate room. Quatre knew it probably wouldn't happen, but if Heero would let him at least keep part of the life he had with Duo, the blonde could deal with losing the sexual relationship. After all, sex wasn't everything.
That thought made him think of Trowa again. When he'd gone to Trowa to tell him that he was attracted to him at the end of the second war, Quatre had expected the other boy to admit feeling the same way. They had been so close, and the blonde had been sure that his feelings were returned. Looking back, Quatre could now see that he had been blinded by his own emotions; Trowa had never loved him like that. Oh, he was sure that Trowa cared for him like a brother, but nothing more, and Quatre had decided that it wasn't enough. So why was he considering that type of relationship with Duo? If it hadn't been about sex in the first place, why couldn't he have just accepted Trowa's feelings and remained friends?
"Because I know Duo returns my feelings, so it's not really a rejection," he whispered to himself. He knew that he and Duo could remain friends because neither one would feel uncomfortable around the other because they both accepted how the other felt. Quatre sighed. If only Heero would believe that...
"Mind if I join you?" came a female voice from beside him, startling Quatre out of his musings. He looked up to see Catherine standing there.
"Please do," he replied evenly. He wasn't angry with Catherine; she couldn't help Trowa's behavior.
"I promise I'm not here to defend my brother's actions," the curly brunette said as she sat down. "I just wanted to talk to you about him. I was hoping I could explain why he's being such an ass right now."
Quatre gazed at her intently. "All right. I'm listening."
Catherine smiled. "Thank you, Quatre. I know you're angry, but I hope you'll hear me out." She took a deep breath, getting ready to open up some old wounds that hadn't healed properly. "I guess this all began right after you left L3 so abruptly. Trowa never told me exactly what happened, but I figured from how you'd acted around him that you'd told him that your feelings went beyond friendship." When Quatre nodded, Catherine continued. "After you left, he waited for you to get in touch with him, because he believed after you calmed down, you'd realize that your feelings weren't as strong as you thought they were." She paused, bracing herself. "You really hurt Trowa when completely shut him out of your life."
The blonde's eyes widened. "Me? Hurt him? Catherine, I came there to tell him that I was in love with him and wanted to start a sexual relationship, and he basically told me I didn't know what the hell I was feeling, and that I needed to grow up before I decided to play around with guys! What was I supposed to do? Call back later and say 'Sorry, Tro, we can just pretend it never happened' and forget about it?"
Catherine sighed. "No, but you have to understand why he felt the way he did about you wanting to become his lover. You see, being raised by the mercenaries, Trowa saw what sex between two guys could be like if one of the partners didn't really care for the other. He fought off many would-be-'lovers' because he was afraid it would turn ugly at some point. He'd seen too much abuse in the camps, and it distorted his viewpoint of sex in general." She paused for a moment before continuing. "He told me once that when he met you, you reminded him of how he used to be before he'd been, as he'd put it, 'jaded by life'. His over-protectiveness stemmed from an association of himself that he developed with you. It was like he was getting a chance to keep those things from happening to you, and in doing so, was vicariously keeping them from happening to himself. As long as he could keep you safe from someone using you, he felt like no one was using him. Seeing you like this, seeing Duo with you, and then seeing Duo reacting to Heero, made him feel like Duo was taking advantage of you, and he couldn't handle it."
"But it's my life, Catherine. Trowa has to realize that I make my own decisions. He gave up the right to say who I'm with when he told me he didn't want me," Quatre stated bitterly.
"But he didn't give up the right to care for you as a friend did he?" Catherine argued. "Quatre, you ended all communication with him! All of it! How would you feel if your best friend, your only true friend, suddenly severed your relationship just because you didn't want to sleep with him?"
Quatre started to open his mouth to dispute the validity of the question, when the truth of her words suddenly penetrated his heart. How would he have felt if something like that had happened to him? What if Duo did that to him now? Even though they had been lovers, they were still friends, and if Duo suddenly dropped out of his life completely, how would that make Quatre feel?
"Dear Allah, what have I done?" he gasped, his hand coming up to his throat in a gesture of remorse.
Catherine rested her hand on his shoulder, relieved that he'd finally understood where she was coming from. "You were hurt, Quatre. I know that, but Trowa didn't have anyone else to turn to like you had Duo. Heero was too far away, and Wufei would never have understood. He was alone, and he felt abandoned by the one person he cared about more than anyone else."
Quatre's eyes filled with tears. "I didn't think he wanted to talk to me," he explained. "I thought our friendship was over, and I couldn't bring myself to confirm my fears by contacting him. I was hurt, and it did take me a while to get over it, but I stayed away because I wanted to give him time to accept how I felt. I never thought for a moment that it was hurting him, Catherine. Please, you have to believe me. I would never do that to Trowa."
"I know," she replied soothingly. "He just refuses to see you as anything but the innocent-hearted boy who was his best friend. The way he treated Duo tonight was just the result of his anger at seeing you so openly sexual with someone. I know he doesn't really feel that way about Duo. Deep in his heart, he knows Duo would never do the things he was accusing him of, but Trowa just won't face the reality of you finding what he couldn't allow himself to."
Quatre wiped his face on the napkin from his drink. "What should I do?"
Catherine smiled warmly. "I confronted him about all this before I came down here. I told him that he was upset because you've changed. He got angry and locked himself in the bathroom, but I heard him sobbing, which is something he hasn't done before, at least not around me. I think it's a good sign that he's opened up enough to try to deal with this. I think he's ready to talk."
"Then I think you should take me to him," Quatre said as he stood. "We've been avoiding this for too long. We need to come to some kind of reconciliation. I don't want him to hurt anymore."
Catherine stood, pleased that Quatre could understand her brother's need. Together they made their way out of the lounge to try to resolve a situation that had taken its toll on too many people; Quatre intended on ending the conflict before his head hit his pillow and sleep claimed him for the night.
"Really, Wufei, you don't need to escort me to my room," Hilde said with a smile as they stopped outside her door. "This place is a hell of a lot safer than L2, and I go out by myself all the time there."
"You shouldn't have to," Wufei rebuked with a frown. "Do Maxwell and Winner spend ALL of their time in bed? Least they could do was make sure you were accompanied when you went out for the evening."
Hilde laughed. "They do sometimes, and they worry about me too when I'm alone, but I was a soldier, Wufei, and I know how to take care of myself."
Wufei only frowned more. "That may be, and I would never dispute your abilities, but we are not at war, and women should not have to defend themselves if they have male friends. It's a man's duty and honor to protect a woman, even if she can protect herself."
Hilde leaned back against the wall, amused. "Dragging her kicking and screaming all the way, huh?"
Wufei noted the mischief sparkling in the girl's violet-blue eyes, and was glad he'd taken this opportunity to spend the last few moments of the night with her. The party was just winding down when she'd decided to leave, and he'd felt compelled to accompany her back to the hotel. She was Duo's friend, and Wufei respected the other boy too much to not take care of his friends. Besides, Hilde had proven to be a very interesting young woman, and he didn't want to waste a chance to spend as much time as possible with her in the next couple of days. He rarely found female company that understood his ideals, but Hilde seemed to find them intriguing, even if she didn't agree with them completely.
"And tied up, if necessary," he remarked dryly, making Hilde laugh again. He liked it when she laughed.
"Oh, Fei, you are so adorable when you're being chauvinistic," Hilde commented cheekily before leaning forward to place a kiss on the boy's cheek.
Wufei felt his pulse quicken as Hilde leaned towards him. His stomach was fluttering, and he felt heat course through him, making its way to two locations in opposite directions. One of them resulted in his face turning red; the other made his pants uncomfortable. It had been a long time since someone had made him feel this way. He was frightened and excited at the same time.
Hilde felt warmth fill her as she pulled away. She'd wanted to do that all night. Wufei was just so endearing in his idiosyncrasies. Most women would probably take his comments as derogatory, but she knew that he meant them respectfully. He was one of the few true warriors left, and she couldn't help but be attracted to that strength of character he possessed.
"Thank you for seeing me to my door," she almost whispered, looking into those midnight eyes.
Wufei felt his heart leap. Even though Hilde was stubborn, self-assured, and completely independent, she had still allowed him this small gesture of protection. It spoke volumes as to how much respect she had for him, and that made him more aroused than anything. As he looked into her amazing indigo eyes, he felt the longing to express the passion that was always burning inside him, just under the surface. Before he could talk himself out of it, he leaned forward, capturing her lips in a forceful, yet gentle kiss.
Hilde melted against the Chinese boy. As his arms wound around her waist, she wrapped hers around his neck, drawing him closer. His warm body was muscular yet lithe from his martial arts training, and she found it very pleasant to be pressed against him. She could feel the evidence of his passion, and it set her body on fire. She boldly licked his lips, asking with the gesture just how far he was willing to let her go, and when he opened up to her, she plunged her tongue inside, tasting him. Kissing him was like a rainstorm in the summer -- refreshing yet overpowering. She knew she could become addicted.
Wufei was surprised, yet pleased, when Hilde deepened the kiss. Although he had been married before, he and Meiran hadn't shared such intimate moments very often. Since her death, he'd focused so much on fighting that he'd never really found someone to be intimate with that could understand him as a person. Even though he wasn't a virgin, he felt like one as Hilde molded her body to his. She was definitely someone that mirrored his own aggressiveness, and he found that very intoxicating. He knew he had to stop them before it went any farther. As much as he wanted to allow the moment to last forever, it was late, and they needed to talk about this before getting involved further. He did not just want a one-night-stand.
"With that, I believe I will say goodnight," he whispered against her lips as he pulled away.
Hilde opened her eyes to see dark kohl clouded with desire. "Too much too soon?"
Wufei smiled, lifting a hand to caress her cheek. "No. I just want us to be sure."
Hilde nodded; she was disappointed, but hopeful. "I think a lot of you, Chang Wufei. Even though we don't know each other very well, I feel something with you that I've never known before -- peace."
Wufei pulled her close, burying his face against her neck, bestowing a couple of small kisses. "Peace would be nice for a change," he whispered over her skin before releasing her reluctantly. "For now, I think we both need to get some sleep." He looked at her for a moment, taking in the lovely flush to her cheeks that their kissing had caused, before adding softly, "I would be honored if you would join me for breakfast in the morning. Will you?"
Hilde nodded, a small smile curving her lips. "I'll meet you in the dining room around ten." She opened her door then turned back around to see him watching her, desire still evident on his face. She wanted him to know that she felt the same way. "Until then, dream of me, my Dragon Warrior."
Wufei felt an intense emotion, and reacted accordingly. He reached back and pulled the leather band from his hair. Stepping forward, he tied it around Hilde's left wrist. When he was done, their eyes met, blue shining with undeniable joy, black shining with barely restrained passion.
"As if I could keep from dreaming of you, my Warrior-Nymph," he replied huskily.
Hilde gave him a warm smile before she stepped inside her room, closing the door behind her. Wufei gave the portal a longing look before he turned and walked towards his room.
Their dreams would be pleasant indeed.
End Part 6
(:./tk/coa6)
