02-Jan-2001
Pairings/Warnings. Bad word.
Notes: Just some nonsense. I present the first "And I Have Touched the Sky Bloopers" episode.
At first Heero had thought the creature running back and forth across the sunbaked roof was a large monkey. It took a closer look to make out that it really was a monkey. Heero scratched his head. "Okay..." he called out. "Where's the kid?"
"Child labor laws. We had to let Joey go."
"I doubt the readers are going to buy into the fact that Duo has a monkey for a son." Heero said dryly.
"Why not? They bought into the fact that Wufei slept with one."
"He did not. Mr. Bananas was a chimp!" Heero argued. "And I'm sorry, but I really don't think this is going to work."
The monkey was ripping shingles off the roofing and throwing them at him now.
"No." Heero said with sigh. "This is definitely not going to work."
"Come on, man. Cut me some slack here." Duo pleaded. "It's only for a few days."
The boy stared at him from hurt, mutinous eyes. "We're never apart." He reminded his father. "Not for very long, and not very far. Ever."
"Look, I can't take you with me." Duo said firmly. "End of discussion. You're staying with Carol and Eddie. You like Carl and Freddy, err... I @#$#@ed up."
"CUT!"
"You better not. Now apologize to Heero for breaking into his ship."
"Heero, I'm sorry I broke into your shit... OOOPS!
"Joey!"
"I'm sorry, it just slipped out!"
"What, the shit?"
"CUT!"
"You have unusual turn-ons, you know." Heero shook his head. "The things I do for love." He punched the code to Wufei's ship into the comm-link, and a few seconds later a suspicious voice barked. "NO I DO NOT WANT TO BUY ANY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! I DO NOT WANT MY LAWN MOWED, MY WALK SHOVELED, MY LEAVES RAKED, OR MY CAR WASHED! I HAVE NOT ACCEPTED VACUUM CLEANERS AS MY SAVIOR... *silence, and then hysterical laughter* I'm sorry, can we do a retake?"
"CUT!"
"Hey, now. We men stick together." Heero spoke up from Jazz's other side. "If she presses it, tell her I had a bad dream and you came in to see me."
"Jazz has a girlfriend, Jazz has a girlfriend..." Duo said in a taunting voice.
Whoomp. Jazz was straddling his father's stomach, fists balled. "Take that back."
*wall in back of bedroom collapses, showing interior of the space yacht and man holding prop hover boards*
Heero: Oh no! It was all a trick! RUN!!! *Joey/Jazz dives under bed*
"CUTTT!!!!!"
"We're thinking about adopting a chicken." Duo smiled. "Maybe getting Jazz a baby sister to tease."
*everyone roars*
Duo: What?
Heero: You said we were adopting a CHICKEN!
Duo: I did not!
Wufei: Yes you did. You said chicken.
Duo: Yes, Heero and I are going to become poultry farmers!
"CUT!"
"You don't have to be." Heero pulled her onto his lap and kissed her forehead. "I'm going to be strong enough for all of us. We're going to help each other get through this. And we're going to cry a lot. And we're going to be very angry that it happened. But it's quid pro quo. You know what that means?"
She shook her head.
"Neither do I. I just forgot my lines."
"CUT!"
The End
(:./lasha/andihave26)
