06-Feb-2001
Revised: 25-Feb-2001
Major revision: 19-Jun-2003
Note: The arc is currently under a massive revision, and will be under revision for at least another four to six months, so there will be some discontinuities until I can get everything fixed.
Author: Dan
Genre: epic AU
Pairings: NA
Disclaimer: not mine, don't sue.
Warnings: AU, a positive plethra of OCS, high
supernatural and yech factor, angst
Further Note: terms from such literary gems as Laurel
K. Hamilton are used and then twisted beyond all
recognition.
~~long lost words whisper slowly to me
still can't find what keeps me here
when all this time i've been so hollow inside
i know you're still there~~
~~Evanescence, Haunting
It was late when we arrived. The was moon just starting its downward slide towards the horizon. I shivered, not from the cold or the light wind, but from the memories brought back to life by the shifting half shadows. Rubbing my arms, I stalked through the underbrush after Aidan who was entirely too cheerful for my taste. But for all my unease and general irritation, walking through the woods felt good--relaxing somehow.
I don't know what I was expecting from our lupinar as I approached it, moving through the soft starlight. I hadn't really been paying attention to my surrounding the previous two times that I had been there. But I was expecting something more ... exotic for lack of a better word when I walked towards the simple clearing.
The lupinar was beautiful in that quiet type of natural beauty that no one thinks I'm capable of appreciating. It was just a perfect circle of green in the thick old growth forest. I don't think I have to explain how rare that is. A jagged rock shot through the center of the cool ankle-deep grass. It looked obscene, like a spear in the middle of a perfect chest. A man stood next to it, leaning against it. The shadowy light played along the silver streaks in his dark hair. He raised his eyes and smiled faintly.
Victor.
I suddenly found it difficult to breathe. I stopped, bracing myself against a tree trunk as the world swirled around me in living technicolor.
He took a step away from the rock and held out his hand, an unspoken, unsubtle command--though it did have a certain gentleness to it that even the most genteel of Trieze's manipulations never had. I moved to obey him before I gave myself the time to think about it. Pondering Victor and his complicated role in my life--both my old and new one--never did me any good.
I crossed over the edge of the trees, so sharply defined it was as if a line had been drawn, and promptly fell to the ground screaming. Memories that were not mine exploded through my mind, voices I had never heard whispered sweet nothing and obscene threats in my ears, and the faint, sweet scent of blood filled me.
Aidan caught me when I as dropped to my knees gasping, hands frantically going to the high collar of my shirt. Another scream was clawing its way out of my throat when I bit down on it, and on Aidan's arm. He jerked and swore as my elongating canines tore into the soft, sensitive skin of his inner arm. I screamed again--shrieked as loud and long as I had breath. Aidan tightened his arms around me, which further impaired my breathing; doubtless he thought he was being protective, but instead it simply crushed what little breath I had left from my lungs.
"Don't fight it," someone said. "Just ride it."
I could barely hear them; it was like listening to them from underwater, or trying to pick out their words from the sounds of a crowded street. How was I supposed to fight this? What did I fight? The floor kept dropping out from underneath me leaving me in free fall.
"Relax, just relax, it will make the munin's passing easier."
I focused on breathing and very deliberately relaxed one muscle at a time, just like Wufei had taught me to do. I went through the breathing techniques he had shown me to control my stress, and found that it worked. I tried to make sense of the jumbled mass of other people's memories, but was crushed under the mass of information. People long dead but never forgotten. And then it was over. Just like that. Some of them sort of said good-bye in a odd sort of way, but most just vanished from my mind.
I stared up at Aidan's face, which was terrifying in its blankness "What was that?"
He smiled then, a pale shadow of his flirtatious teasing. The day that Aidan can't flirt, I think, will be a very bad day indeed. He'd flirt with Death itself, and Maxwell would probably like it. "The munin. They like you."
"And what, exactly, are the munin? And do I even want to know why they like me?" I asked. My voice wasn't shaking, three cheers for me.
"The munin are the spirits, the memories of the pack who have died." A rich rolling voice answered my question. It was a commanding voice, a comforting voice; it was a father's voice. Victor. "And if they like you it is a good thing."
He walked to me and knelt in the moist grass. His chocolate eyes were very proud. It disturbed me that this very dangerous man--no, not human, werewolf--was proud of me. It disturbed me a lot. Sally would say it's because I'm repressing my anger at my adopted-father's death and betrayal. I say it's because Victor is a man who coldly killed four men because I asked for their heads in a basket. Most people who are dedicated to peace would be disturbed if a sociopath was proud of them. I stared at him from the safety of Aidan's arms. Victor reached a hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me to my feet.
"You should have come to the lukoi earlier. You have much to learn, and you are not safe." Victor's deep brown eyes were very serious as he looked down at me. "I have heard many things that make me believe that your attack was not random."
"You never believed that it was random in the first place." I stared up into his face. I felt Aidan move back away from us, out of the line of fire. He didn't want to be a part of whatever was going to happen. "I never believed it was random."
He smiled at me again, proud again. I hated the way knowing that I had made him proud made me feel warm, proud of myself. I hated that parts of myself were now basing myself worth on what he thought of me.
"No. When someone as visible as you gets attacked, especially with such violence, it can never be random. Someone meant to hurt you."
"Someone meant to kill me."
"No." Aidan, spoke up and we both looked at him, startled. "If they had meant to kill you, they would have. Do you have any concept of how strong you are? You could dead lift an elephant if it didn't wiggle around too much. They meant to turn you."
I had never thought about how strong I was now. I had never had any reason to use it. But somewhere in my mind I knew what he was saying was true. I could pulp a human with one blow. It was scary. What was more frightening was the idea that someone had harnessed all his or her strength to turn me. "Why would they? And more importantly, why worry about it anymore? You killed the people who hurt me."
I couldn't keep the disapproval out of my voice. I didn't agree with them killing to protect me. I didn't agree with killing at all. It was a source of major frustration for anyone responsible for my safety. Hilde once remarked bitterly that there was no point in me carrying a gun, as I would never use it. I'd told her I wouldn't even wear the gun if Wufei hadn't threatened to force me to learn hand-to-hand combat from Maxwell if I didn't. That had made her laugh. Wufei had made me take martial arts classes from Maxwell anyway.
Both Aidan and Victor frowned at me. I felt like the lone voice crying out in the wilderness, surrounded by the pagans. We didn't have to kill. Just because we turned furry once a month didn't mean we had to kill like animals. It was very close to the same damned argument I made everyday in my other life.
"If I had not killed them you would be in even more danger. It was a challenge; one I could not ignore." Victor was annoyed, though his voice didn't reflect it. Something about the way his eyes tightened around the corners.
"Besides, you asked for their heads in a basket." Aidan crossed his arms over that lovely chest, and frowned at me. I guess questioning our Ulfric was a major faux pas. His otherworldly energy was humming over my skin like a live wire.
"Enough." Victor held up his hand between us. "I did not kill them all, and that I regret."
Aidan snorted. "We don't even know if werewolves were working with the vamps, if there were two separate groups, if someone decided to turn her to keep her from dying." He made a low disgusted sound in the back of his throat.
"No one would work with the vampires." Victor's voice held the cold self assurance of a sovereign, and all the arrogance.
"Yes, there are few that would."
"It would be a death sentence."
"Only if you caught them."
"There would be no point in siding with the vampires now, nothing to be gained but their own deaths."
"Obviously," the sarcasm was as thick as southern humidity, "there are those who do not feel the same way."
"But why? Why go after me?"
I hated hearing the little-girl-lost plea in my voice, but couldn't help it. That was the only question that I ever asked at night, lost in the nightmare world of sleep. Why, why me? And I could never find any answers.
Compassion filled Aidan's eyes like emerald water and it made me uncomfortable to see it. Victor sighed, deeply and heartfelt, hands raking through his slightly too long hair. "We don't know."
"What do you do in that fancy job of yours besides make pretty speeches about peace?" Aidan asked. I suppressed the desire to sneer at him, but I couldn't stop from glaring. My job has been a sensitive spot for me lately, and I don't know why. Aidan backed up, and held up his hands in a gesture of submission. "Just trying out avenues, my sweet alpha."
The title had Victor's head snapping around to glare at the russet haired man. Aidan gave that little smile that said he knew he had done wrong but didn't care. Victor pressed his fingers to his temple. "You weren't supposed to push her into a display of dominance. This complicates things, Aidan."
"It's obvious to anyone who knows how to look what she is." Aidan protested. "I just verified it, that's all."
"I had kept what she is from the pack for this long, Skoll, and I could have kept it hidden for a little while longer had you not interfered," Victor ground out.
"Perhaps, oh fearless leader, you shouldn't have."
I shifted, uncomfortable, as they glared at each other over my head. The tension between them raised the hair on the back of my neck, and I wanted to rub my arms, but didn't want to attract their attention.
Victor raked both hands through his hair, and then settled for giving Aidan the most deeply sardonic look I have ever seen. "Perhaps not. But now we have an alpha with no official rank within the pack, and doesn't that just leave us in a wonderful position?"
Aidan shrugged. "At this point, having more alphas is not a bad thing."
"Perhaps not, if the pack had the chance to acclimate to her presence, but now... "
"Excuse me?" I had had enough of this bickering about me going on over my head, literally. "But, I'd like to point out that this is not exactly the most pressing matter at hand."
Both men looked at me with an expression I imagine would not be unlike the one that they would wear should one the little birds fluttering overhead had decided to join in the conversation. I crossed my arms over my chest and arched an eyebrow. "You know, Victor, I do know how to handle people; it is, after all, my job."
I held that dark gaze for so long that my eyelashes started fluttering with the need to blink. He suddenly grinned. "That you do."
Aidan looked at me with an odd expression. It took me a long time to realize it was trust and hope. I hadn't seen that look since Heero had stared at me and believed, really believed, that I could do what I said. "You'll pull us together the way you did the rest of the world during the Eve Wars, won't you?"
It wasn't fair to look at me with that amount of need, it completely flattened me and left my laying in the rubble of the walls I had put up to protect myself. I had never been able to say no to that look. I hadn't been able to tell Heero, Noin, Lady Une, or any of the other people who had believed, truly believed, that I could bring them peace 'no' so long ago. And I couldn't tell Aidan 'no' now.
"I'll try."
"That's all I'll ever ask."
"This still leaves things in a complicated mess," Victor said, but there was no anger in his tone, just thoughtfulness--like a chess player trying to figure out where to move a piece. "If you give your protection to a member of the pack then you have to protect that pack member. Meaning, you have to fight their battles."
He looked me over speculatively. "Most times that means a knockdown dragged out fight."
"She sliced me open with nothing more than power." Aidan gestured towards his cheek where the cut was now nothing more than an angry red line. Did I mention we heal so fast you can almost see it? It's rather handy.
"And pack fights aren't to the death. You bleed people, scare the shit out of them, but you don't kill them."
Victor reached out and touched the side of Aidan's face with an expression of surprised pleasure--like when a child brings home an unexpected A. Aidan obediently tipped his head to the side to let Victor see, as if he had done so a million times before. Then Victor slid that chocolate gaze to me. "You can extend your power like this, Relena?"
I nodded, still uncomfortable with them--with him. "But I don't know how I did it."
He smiled; it was something that you could wrap around yourself like a warm blanket. "Our vargamour will teach you about this, and about the munnin. This type of power, Relena, it must be learned, controlled. You can't ignore it."
I closed my eyes and desperately wanted to turn away. It was too much like when my father told me he wasn't my father and that I was some sort of princess. Felt like the ground dropped out from under me, leaving me helpless. I hate being helpless. "What's a vargamour?"
"Pack witch for lack of a better term," Aidan supplied. He looked like he wanted to go into a lecture about werewolf society, but Victor laid a hand on his arm to hush him.
Their relationship suddenly struck me as very ... odd, but I couldn't exactly say why. I pressed two fingers against my temples. "Back to my attackers. They deliberately meant to turn me, but we don't know why?"
"Yes, and with your visibility I want someone to be with you, always, to protect you." Victor watched me with very serious eyes. "If the vampires are behind this then we must be very careful. We do not have what you would call a civil relationship with them."
I gave him a wry smile. "Story of my life."
"They probably have an alternative reason, but turning you into a werewolf, creating tension in the pack, is an added benefit." Aidan shrugged when I gave him an amazed look. "I'm more than a pretty face. Being Skoll means more than just being the Ulfic's thug. I'm supposed to protect him from political attacks as well and physical attacks."
He tweaked my nose. "Perhaps I could be your new political advisor."
I sneered at him. "I deal in politics of a completely different sort. There is no rationality, no reason among the monsters."
"And you are one of those monsters, Relena, accept it." Aidan's face was set in harsh angry lines. "We'll fight and die for you, the least you can do is accept us, and yourself."
I stared at him for a long time trying to remember where I had heard words like that before. I looked down and away from him, letting my hair act like a shield. He was right. I was simply drawing lines that shouldn't be drawn. Without looking I reached up and touched the side of his face. "I'm sorry."
"The two of you had better get along, because Aidan will be your bodyguard from this moment on, until I say otherwise." The command made my shoulders tense. I couldn't help it. I have never dealt well with being told what to do.
Victor had his arms crossed and was glaring at us the way an irate father would. "There is a threat to my pack. And I will do whatever is necessary to protect my pack. Understood?"
We both nodded like repentant children.
"Good. Aidan, protect her. Relena, do your best not to attract attention," I silently wondered how the hell I was supposed to do that when I had a press conference] in two days time, but decided that making a snide comment now was not a wise idea. "And behave, at least for the humans."
With that said he stalked off into the darkness of the woods.
"I think we're in trouble." Aidan commented wryly.
"Why do I feel like I'm five years old?" I replied.
He shrugged. "Victor has that effect on people. He's a good Ulfric though. He cares. There aren't a lot of pack leaders you can say that about."
I blinked. "There's more than one pack?"
"Relena, Relena, God." He laughed and rubbed his eyes. He looked tired. "Yes, of course, there are hundreds of packs scattered all over the place. Mostly just on Earth, though. It's hard to control yourself close to the moon, so there aren't a lot of packs on the colonies."
I crossed my arms over my chest and tried not to think about it too much. In three years my entire life has been throw up in the air and shattered four times. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. Aidan reached out and ran a hand down my arm. I looked up at him and he just shrugged.
"I know it's not easy, but don't give up on us, kay?"
I just nodded. "I'll figure out how to get you assigned as my bodyguard officially."
He leered at me. "Why can't I pose as your smitten lover?"
I punched him in the gut and walked off. It was answer enough.
End Part 3
(:./dan/wolf3)
