25-May-2001
Title: Unexpected Match
Sequel to: Evening the Score
Auhtors: DaMoyre (damoyre@aol.com) and bonnejeanne (bonnejeanne@yahoo.com)
Pairings 2+5
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: shonen-ai, mild angst
C&C: Always welcome!
Disclaimer: You know the drill, we don't own the boys; we wish we did, etc, etc. ^_~
Duo woke up in the early morning and shifted in the bed, still feeling a little sore, but extremely satisfied from the night before. It was strange to wake up in between two people. It was something new for him, something... pleasurable. He felt Trowa's warm body to his left, Heero's to the right. They were both deeply asleep and Duo did not want to disturb them. He knew that they were both light sleepers and that he could easily wake them if he wasn't careful.
He lifted Heero's arm very gently, untangling himself from the tight grip and crawled to the bottom of the bed, easily sliding off. He picked up his pants and shirt from where they had been discarded the night before and got dressed as quietly as he could afford to do it, making sure that the buckle of his belt did not make any sounds.
Heero stirred in the bed, and Duo almost thought he'd woken him, but the Japanese boy simply turned on his side and pulled the sheet over his body. Duo fixed his eyes on Trowa, who was sleeping on his side, breathing slowly and quietly, then he turned to look at Heero, just one more time, lingering over his sleeping form, on the way his face seemed to be at peace when he slept.
He sighed softly and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He was nearly to the door of his own room before he realized a silent, still figure was watching him.
Wufei was leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway, arms crossed over his chest, his features as still as the rest of him, his expression the familiar distant mask. There was a strange impression of something in the dark eyes, but it could be dismissed as a trick of the still dim morning light.
Duo was startled by the figure at the end of the hall. He had not expected anyone to be up so early, let alone to be wandering in the hallway. But there he was, with his usual penetrating gaze, watching him from a distance.
"Wufei." Duo turned on his heels and addressed his fellow pilot. "What...what are you doing?" He smiled, a little nervously, unsure about whether or not Wufei had seen him come out from Heero's quarters.
"Watching you destroy your integrity," the answer seemed to come from a statue, so barely did the Chinese boy's lips move.
Seeing Wufei watching him had been startling for Duo, but his answer had made a double impact on him. He had not expected such a response; he'd not expected him to know, or to openly aknowledge that he knew what had occurred the night before.
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, the realization hit him, that what Wufei had just said was true. It didn't matter what he chose to call what had happened in Heero's room the night before.
Duo let out a heavy sigh and leaned against his door, crossing his arms as he lifted his eyes to meet the deep ebony ones still fixed on him. There was no point in denying anything. "I guess... I screwed up, huh?" he said, a little sad smile drawn on his lips.
Something seemed to flash for an instant in Wufei's face. He uncrossed his arms and walked with deliberate steps towards the other boy. Instead of stopping at a reasonable distance, he moved forward until he was inches from Duo. At this close range, Duo could see a tension in Wufei's body and some strong emotion in his eyes. His set features were inexorably pulling into a scowl, almost against his will. "Screwed up? No, it appears you got what you were going for. You didn't fail in your mission, did you?"
Duo let out a soft gasp at Wufei's proximity, surprised by the intensity he could see in his eyes, by the tension on the normally serene face. And then his words, each one of them carefully marked and ringing truer than anything else he'd heard before. It was simply Wufei's way. "No. I didn't fail," Duo said quietly, realizing that Wufei had been watching his planning and progress all along.
He felt a warm rush of air running through his body, and he wasn't exactly sure why he felt embarrassed all of a sudden. "I didn't think I had been that obvious." He looked down and picked up the end of his braid, playing a little with it. "What do you want me to tell you? Why do you even care?"
Duo could clearly see the flash of anger in the other boy's tightly controlled eyes. "Was it worth it?" Wufei's voice remained low, and his eyes seemed to lock onto Duo's. "Was it enjoyable? Enough to be worth another chip off the base of your soul?"
Worth it. Had it been worth it? If Wufei had asked that question the night before, in the heat of the passion, the answer would have been clear; but today, when his mind was no longer fogged with desire, when he could clearly see the light of the new day and no longer lose himself in the darkness, in the passion... was it worth it? He wasn't sure anymore.
He had wanted it. He had waited for it. He had planned everything. But was it worth it? Just one more time... perhaps two. And in the end, things were back to the way they had always been, were they not? Heero had been *his*, truly *his* for a few moments, never meant to last. No... wait. That wasn't even right, was it? Heero had *never* really been his. The moment had passed. He was back to reality. He didn't even know what to make of Trowa. Had it even been worth playing this game with him?
He looked up at Wufei, the muscles of his jaw tightening, his fist clenching. "I don't know, Wufei. I don't know if it was worth it. But yes...it was enjoyable. It did feel good. Is that what you want to hear?"
A muscle twitched in Wufei's cheek. He reached around the other boy, close enough for Duo to feel his arm against the side of his body, and opened the door of Duo's room. With his other hand, he gave the braided boy a little push, unbalancing him enough to make him take a couple of steps backwards to regain his footing. The next moment Wufei was inside the room with him, closing the door.
"No," he said tightly, answering the question. "I wanted to hear you say it sucked."
Duo looked at Wufei for a moment, a little unbalanced, not only by the surprise of suddenly finding himself in his own room with him, but also by his unexpected reply. This entire meeting, from the very beginning, had been surprise after surprise for Duo.
Wufei seemed angry, indignant, and Duo was no longer sure if it was due to what he had called 'destroying his integrity', or if it was due to something...something else.
"All right, Wufei," Duo finally said, walking a few steps towards his bed and taking a seat. "What exactly is this all about?" He motioned for Wufei to sit down, if he liked, in one of the chairs.
"That is an excellent question," Wufei replied, forcing controlled breaths through his lungs to regain some kind of cool. "What is it about, Maxwell? Is it about your lust for Yuy? Or your need for some kind of payback? Or something else? I am torn between beating the crap out of Trowa Barton, and beating the crap out of you. I owe him, which makes it difficult for me to beat the crap out of him for something which you have encouraged." Twisting his mouth in an odd fascimile of a smile, he added through his teeth, "Perhaps I should simply beat the crap out of all three of you, before I return to China for the rest of this war."
"Wufei, I," Duo attempted a reply and then simply sighed heavily. He didn't exactly have an answer. It had been a game... at first. He had repeatedly reminded himself that this was nothing but a game, a game he would not lose. Now he didn't really care anymore, about losing or winning. "I thought it was a game, Wufei," he finally confessed. He needed to tell someone, anyone. He had kept this for too long. "I don't know what it is anymore. It's all wrong, I know it. I'm trapped."
He looked at Wufei and winced, not knowing if the answer he'd given would satisfy the Chinese pilot. He had finally admitted it to Wufei, and more important, he'd admitted it to himself: what he had been doing for the past few days was utterly wrong... and he had known it all along. He just didn't care.
Wufei closed his eyes for a brief moment and opened them again to focus on the Duo. He really had no idea how incredible he looked, his face haloed by the wisps of chestnut hair escaped from the braid, traces of sleep, wide violet eyes mirroring the conflict he was feeling. Opening his eyes, he forced himself to breathe again, and to move. Snagging one of the chairs, he pulled it in front of where Duo sat and straddled it.
"If it's a game, you are outnumbered," he said, vaguely surprised that he was able to make his voice even and calm. "If you are trapped, you should escape. It's not enough to know something is wrong, if you don't know why."
Duo took a deep breath, feeling a strange wave of peace washing through him. Perhaps it was the neutral tone of Wufei's voice, where he no longer heard any reproach, any anger, or perhaps he was simply relieved to finally be able to talk to someone about this.
Wufei was discrete. If nothing else, he was certain that whatever they talked about in this room would only remain between them. It was comforting, knowing that he could trust him, even if he had threatened to beat the crap out of him, Duo knew he could feel at ease around him.
"I *do* know why it is wrong," he said and he shook his head, his lips curving up only slightly. "I just can't seem to stop. What they started...what I let them start. I can't let go now." He looked up at Wufei, wondering if his words made any sense at all, wondering if Wufei had ever felt what he was feeling inside. "I don't know how far this will go."
Wufei's lips pressed together before he forced himself to relax them. "You are all trapped," he said simply. "They have no more idea what they are doing than you do," he added, allowing a touch of frustrated disapproval into his tone. He took a breath and searched Duo's eyes for a moment. "You are smarter than this. Are you starting to believe your own legend? There is something else. Or am I wrong?"
Wufei was right. Why did he always have to be so damn right? Why couldn't he just turn away and stop listening to him. Things had been a little easier, only a day or two before, when he had known that everything he was doing was wrong, when an inner voice had repeatedly screamed that he should stop, and he had not cared! It had been much easier to ignore that voice. But he couldn't ignore Wufei.
"No," Duo blew a little air to move his bangs away from his forehead. He was hot... still sticky from the night before, and he would have happily jumped in a pool of ice cold water, to cool his body, to cool his brain. "You're not wrong. I guess there is something else to all of this, but I can't exactly tell you what it is... because I don't know it myself!" He stood up from the bed and began pacing the room, hoping that his ideas would fall into place with the movement. "You said lust. Maybe that's all there is to it. But I can't help feeling that it might be more. I don't know why... I just can't walk away."
"Because it's better than being alone," Wufei said, his voice inflexionless. "Because arms around you can be the illusion of something else. Something you can't allow yourself to need."
"Illusion," Duo repeated quietly, the word almost tasting bitter. "Yeah. I guess that's all it really was. In that instant, everything felt good...and nothing mattered. I suppose I allowed myself to believe in something that never really existed." He felt cold now. Strange, how his body temperature could fluctuate so easily. He turned to look at Wufei and then looked down, unable to hold his gaze. "Nobody likes being alone."
"I know," the words were dropped like a couple of pebbles thrown idly into a pool.
Wufei got up from the chair and pushed it back to its place. "Maxwell, I don't know what Barton is thinking... what Yuy is feeling. I don't know if it's just a stupid, destructive game you are all playing. But if you keep playing it... I want you to remember something. Remember who you are. Remember that the God of Death is worthy of respect. I've watched you take everything Oz could dish out, and your courage never failed. Don't lose it for something as...as meaningless as a game no one can win."
He walked to the door and then stopped, and walked back, reaching down to tilt Duo's head up. "And if it does turn out to be an illusion...remember this."
Bending down, he pressed his lips to Duo's mouth, parting the braided boy's lips with the pressure of his own. His tongue invaded Duo's mouth, sliding in to caress the inner surfaces for a brief moment, leaving a taste of suppressed passion and fragile, hidden tenderness along with the heat.
Wufei's words reached deep within Duo's soul. His simple statements of worth and respect, his observation about Duo's courage in battle; they were things, Duo had never expected from Wufei. He had no idea the Chinese pilot held him in such high regard. He felt even more embarrassed now, knowing that Wufei had watched this stupid game of his.
But if the words had touched Duo's soul, they still had not prepared him for what would come next. Wufei's lips pressed to his, his warmth, his essence, so close to him, closer than he'd ever imagined he would come to be with him.
He'd thought about him before... and then discarded the idea as something illogical, something that would never occur. He didn't know if he could cope with the surprise, with this intense and overwhelming emotion coursing within him as Wufei's lips pressed harder, as he felt his tongue slipping inside his mouth, deepening the kiss.
It felt wonderful. It was tender... it was warm, and yes, it was sweet. Perhaps sweeter than any other kiss he'd received the past. He moved one of his hands behind Wufei's head and returned the caress, a little hesitantly at first, and then more sure of himself, pulling their bodies closer together.
Wufei felt something tightly held in his chest struggle for freedom from confinement. He'd intended the kiss to be brief, had nerved himself to take the chance only because it was ripping him up inside to see the violet-eyed boy so lost. Because if Duo needed to know that this game he was playing was not the only possibility for warmth, it might be worth the risk of exposing himself to the potential rejection. He hadn't expected the sudden, almost startled return, nor the detaining touch. An impulse to pull away was overridden by his own desire, managing to escape from his long-held control. That and the intuition that to choose protecting himself at this moment would destroy the very thing he had wanted to bring to life.
His knees bent, one resting on the floor beside the bed. One hand brushed Duo's cheek and then settled on his shoulder. When their lips drew apart, he held himself still with what he could summon of his willpower, opening his eyes to gaze into the violet ones in front of him, shutting down the need to mask his feelings, able to simply be.
Duo felt a strange desire to hold on to Wufei as long as he could, gasping softly for air as he felt their kiss come to an end, missing the warmth of Wufei's lips over his own. He kept his eyes close for only an instant longer, and he felt Wufei's hand on his shoulder. Comforting, his touch.
"Wufei," he said quietly, slowly opening his eyes to look into the other boy's."Sorry," he said, and then frowned and lowered his head, leaning slightly over Wufei's body until his forehead rested on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he repeated.
Wufei slid his hand under Duo's chin and lifted his head, refusing to allow him to hide. His eyebrows were pulled together in a slight scowl as he regarded the other boy.
"I should have just beaten the crap out of you," he said in a low growl, barely recognizable as a dry joke.
Duo looked up at Wufei for a moment and bit his lip, barely containing the laughter that was forming inside his chest at Wufei's joke. "Beaten the crap out of me, huh? Nah... I think I like this better," he said cheekily. "I'm still sorry, though. For being such an idiot." he shook his head and sighed. "You know...if I had known that you were...approachable, I wouldn't have played into this stupid game," he joked.
Wufei did not smile. "Your apology is ridiculous. I haven't given you or anyone any reason to think of me as... approachable," he said the word with a touch of irony. "I'm here to fight a war, not win popularity contests. What I feel... isn't relevant to the issue. But there are limits even to my endurance. Do what you want with your life, but witnessing the destruction of Duo Maxwell over the confused impulses of a couple of emotional malaperts is not something I think I can contend with."
Duo's face became serious at once and he simply nodded. "You're right. This needs to stop. And I don't know how much further I would have taken it. I don't listen to myself... but when you speak all of a sudden things make sense. Go figure!" He gave a little shrug. Reaching for Wufei's hand, he gently shook it a bit. "Figures I'd need someone else to be the voice of reason here."
Wufei looked down at the hand holding his. He nodded without looking up. "Don't mention it," he muttered. Taking a deep breath, he began trying to put himself back together, stuffing the emotions that had escaped back into their little boxes. Taking a deep breath, he stood up, trying to keep himself from looking down at Duo's face. Failed attempt. It couldn't hurt to brush that cheek a last time, could it? Hmph. Of course it could.
"Survive, Maxwell," he said, wondering why his voice chose that moment to try and close up. "If you need to talk, you know where to find me."
Duo watched as Wufei stood up, impulsively reaching out to hold his hand again, holding it for a moment and then letting go. "I will survive, Chang," he joked. "I'm not exactly easy to break...even if I got myself in way over my head this time around," he added, a little wryly. He stood and took a deep breath. "I have to thank you for this talk. For being here...for that kiss," he bit his lower lip, a little flush on his cheeks. "It was nice."
Wufei's eyes closed and then he looked at Duo, a flash of something behind the onyx regard. "If you don't stop thanking me, I *am* going to beat the crap out of you," he growled. The words, flushed face, flash of teeth on a full lower lip suddenly fractured his control and he grabbed Duo's shoulders and kissed him again, this time a bit wilder, the tenderness present but giving way to the passion and a suppressed possessiveness. Releasing Duo's mouth before he released his hands, Wufei's eyes roamed over Duo's face for a moment. "One more thing for you to remember. I don't...play...games."
Duo reveled on the feeling of that second kiss, wishing it would never come to an end. Perhaps it was that tenderness that was present in the caress, or simply the fact that it was Wufei kissing him, but the kiss was magic, like nothing he'd felt before, completely different from the heated kisses he'd shared with Trowa and Heero in the past. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs to the limit and then exhaled, relaxing his body in Wufei's proximity.
"No," he said quietly. "No more games. I told you I'd stop." He looked at Wufei for a moment and smiled. "But you know... every time you tell me you're going to beat the crap out of me, I end up getting kissed. How can I keep making you do that? Should I just...thank you again?"
Wufei blinked, a little wildly, and suddenly had the sinking feeling he had gotten in over *his* head. "No!" he growled. "Don't do that!" He kept his grip on Duo's shoulders, searching the violet eyes. "You... *want* me to do it again?" His brows drew together slightly. "You want... *me* to do it?" he repeated, the emphasis shifting.
"Hmmm." Duo smiled. "No. Now that I know that you *won't* beat the crap out of me for trying to kiss you," he said huskily, as he bent over closer to Wufei, brushing his lips over him in a tender kiss. "I can do this now."
Wufei's lips parted instinctively, and his breath went short for a moment. He gave Duo a little, reflexive shake. "No games," he muttered, but there was a bit of confusion and uncertainty in it. "I thought you wanted Yuy."
Duo was startled for a moment, at the mention of Heero's name. He nodded. "I would be a liar if I said I don't find Heero extremely attractive. When this stupid little game started... I thought... maybe there could be something else. But you pointed it out, it was just an illusion. I can't let myself be trapped that way. He is with Trowa...and I'm not gonna keep trying to play this game with them," he lowered his head and paused for a moment. "I always thought you were...special. I just never thought... I could come near you," he said, and his eyes lifted to meet the onyx ones. "I know you're not one to play games. I wouldn't."
Wufei stared down into Duo's eyes as if looking for the answer to a riddle. "I've been watching you for a long time," he said finally, something peeling away from his face to leave him looking very young. "If you were happy I would not have said anything to you. This is a war and I have nothing to offer. We have no future and we cannot protect each other. It seemed dishonorable to seek anything for which I can offer no return."
Duo nodded. "I am aware we're pretty much living on the edge here, and I know that every time we go out to fight, we run the risk of never returning. I know I couldn't protect you. That my obligation is to the colonies and to Earth... but if we can make this war a little more bearable, I don't see anything wrong with it." He looked at Wufei for a moment, trying to discern any reaction that might come from the other pilot at his words. "You have a lot to offer, Wufei. What you did today, what you did for me just proves how much you have to offer, and just how wrong I was about you. I thought you had this thick ice barrier surrounding you, but I'm just realizing that it was only your way of keeping focused on our mission. I'm sorry."
Wufei gave Duo another little shake. "I don't want to hear that word from you," he said. He took a breath and let it out. "The ice barrier... it *is* there. I need it. But ice is clear...it doesn't stop me from seeing. And my mission... I don't need a heart to carry it out. Perhaps this is why I lost it. But only once, Maxwell."
He brushed a kiss against Duo's lips. There was tension in his body that translated to a brief, slight tremble in muscles that could flex like tensile steel when they had to.
Duo sighed softly, returning Wufei's kiss. He gently slipped one of his arms around Wufei's waist and held him tight for a moment, before slowly releasing him, his lips moving over to Wufei's cheek. "Let me... be near. I know you need the barrier, but if I can come close to you... like this, then I'll consider myself the luckiest person in the world." He pulled away and looked into Wufei's eyes. "I want to help you...find your heart again."
Another kiss, this one a bit more devouring. No longer trembling, Wufei's arms wound around Duo's shoulders and pressed their bodies together. After a moment the Chinese boy lifted his mouth and kissed the pulse-spot below Duo's ear.
"Baka - idiot," he said into the braided boy's ear. "Look in the mirror sometime, you might find it quicker that way."
Duo felt a shiver running up and down his spine at the soft rush of warm air coming from Wufei's breath, so close against his ear. And then the words, words he had not expected to hear from him. He closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that he had never felt the emotions that were breaking havoc within his own heart at this moment.
"Wufei," he whispered, pulling the Chinese pilot closer to him, resting his cheek over his shoulder. "God... I didn't know. I never thought," he shook his head. "You are right. I am an *idiot*!" He lifted Wufei's chin with his hand and kissed him again. "This isn't a game, Wufei, but I would gladly be trapped this time. I don't want to escape."
The kiss deepened as Wufei released his passion, claiming Duo's mouth and through it everything about the American. One of his hands moved up Duo's back to find his neck under the heavy braid. The other moved down, sliding over the curve of the other boy's hips and pressing there. After a while, Wufei lifted his head, letting them both gasp for oxygen. He continued to look down into Duo's eyes. "I'm not going to change, Maxwell," he said, his voice a bit husky. "I won't be any easier to live with. But if you want this... I won't be a coward about it any longer."
Duo smiled softly. "I wasn't expecting you to change, Wufei. I know you'll still be as difficult to live with... as you've always been. Lucky for you, I like you exactly the way you are. I wouldn't change anything about you," he brushed his fingers over Wufei's hair, pulling back a soft wisp of black hair. "I want this. I've wanted this for a long time... but I suppose it was hard for you to know, since I'm not exactly easy to live with either, huh?" He grinned. "I probably drove you up the wall more than once in the past."
"Twice," the Chinese boy answered with a slight growl. "And up the wall is an understatement. But I didn't consider this... possible, so what could it matter?"
"I guess it didn't matter." Duo shook his head. "I can't believe I didn't say anything before. I should have." He smiled and looked into Wufei's eyes. "So you want to give this a try, huh?"
Wufei regarded Duo for a long moment, but his hands were restless rather than still on the other boy. "Fine," he said almost abruptly, and then something very vulnerable took up residence in his eyes. "A try." He lowered his mouth for another kiss, this time slowly, making a beginning.
~Fin~
In case you're wondering, bonnejeanne is in charge of the *wonderful* writing of Wufei.
DaMoyre and bonnejeanne
(:./damoyre/unexpected)
