April 2001
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
Wufei blanches finding the stack of overdue library books, picturing the hefty fine he now owes.
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
BANG BANG BANG. "I'm coming already." The Chinese man grumbled. "You don't have to break it down!"
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door --
Only this, and nothing more."
"It's probably some overweight onna wanting to sell me Jesus again." Wufei reached for his sword.
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Just ONCE you think we could get a safehouse with central heating. I'm sick of having to make do with a fireplace. He pulled on his fluffy bunny slippers, shivering.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; -- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow -- sorrow for the lost Lenore -
"MEILAN! Her name was MEILAN! I don't know anyone named Lenore!" He shook his fist at the unseen narrator.
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore --
Nameless here for evermore.
"MEILAN YOU ADDLE-PLATTED LACKWIT!"
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me -- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
"Oh good. I can hold my own with a score of Oz mobile dolls and now you want me to be afraid of the curtains? Go away and leave me alone, already!"
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
"Yes, yes, we have that already. Someone wants in very badly. Can we get this over with?"
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; --
This it is, and nothing more,"
"It better be nothing more. So help me if that's Treize in a Dr. Frank N. Furter outfit…"
Presently my heart grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
"Sorry but take a hike!"
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
"I'm sending you the bill if you've damaged it!"
That I scarce was sure I heard you" -- here I opened wide the door; --
Darkness there, and nothing more.
"Well, isn't this ducky? I love WASTING MY TIME!"
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream to dream before;
"I told you, I had a little too much to drink. I have no idea why I dreamed that about Zechs taking over the chocolate factory for Willy Wonka."
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
"MEILAN!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word "Lenore!"
Merely this and nothing more.
"Who is Lenore and why do think I care one bit about the dead onna?"
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"That's IT I'm calling the cops! I know it's those rotten brats from down the street again!"
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
*waving sword over head* BRING IT ON!
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; --
'Tis the wind and nothing more!"
"Bad enough they knock on your door in the middle of the night. Now they're trying to get at me through the windows!"
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
*Duo, clad in black as usual, climbs in Wufei's window and grins at him* "Oh, not HIM! This is an outrage!"
Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
"Get down from there, you baka! What do you think you're DOING? Don't make me call Heero!"
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door --
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
*Duo waves cheerfully from his perch on top of the bust*
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"I've tried anger. Maybe you do catch more flies with honey. Anything to make him go home."
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore -
"So, Maxwell, how was your day?"
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
And Quoth the Duo "Wu, I'm bored."
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning -- little relevancy bore;
"Well, everything he says has little relevancy! He's not exactly known for his great gems of wisdom, is he? Oh, this is just like him to pull!"
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
"How DID you climb up there so fast anyway, Maxwell? I suppose I wouldn't understand the why...
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."
But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
"Three words. You screw up my wife's name, why am I unsurprised you can't count either" * sigh *
Nothing further then he uttered -- not a feather then he fluttered --
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before -
"Heero, this is Wufei. Your boyfriend is in my living room, sitting on a priceless work of art, and he won't leave!"
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."
Then the Duo whined "Wu, I'm bored."
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
"Go DO something then. Watch television, play cards, rob a bank. Just so long as it's anywhere but here!"
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
"Hummm, Heero probably sent him over here to get some peace and quiet!"
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never-nevermore.'"
"Trowa? This is Wufei... I have a small problem."
But the Raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
"I'll drag you down from there, you idiot!"
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
"Is that beer I smell???"
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."
"Look, I have a bunch of library books. Do you want to read them?"
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
"Maxwell, stop LOOKING at me like that. It's unsettling!"
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet violet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
"Fine, I'm going to lay down and when I wake up you'd better be gone!"
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
"Who, Lenore? Whoever she is she'd better not be sneaking in here using my sofa!"
Then, methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Oh, now that is just disgusting! There's a bathroom right down the hall! You're cleaning that up!"
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from the memories of Lenore!
"MEILAN!"
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Quoth the Duo "Wu, I'm bored."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird or devil! --
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
"That's right, Quatre, ALL OVER the floor. Is Heero there with you? I left him a message but.."
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted --
On this home by Horror haunted -- tell me truly, I implore -
"Duo, what can I say or do to make you GO HOME ALREADY?
Is there -- is there balm in Gilead? -- tell me -- tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Quoth the Duo "Wu, I'm bored!"
"Prophet!' said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us -- by that God we both adore -
"You like Shinigami? You're about to meet him, Maxwell!"
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
"MEILAN MEILAN MEILAN!"
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Quoth the Duo, "Wu, I'm BORREDDDD!"
"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked upstarting --
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
"GO BOTHER HEERO. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE!"
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door!
"And I want ever bit of that gone before you leave! Have you NO shame?"
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Quoth the Duo, "WU I'M BOOOOOOOREEDDDDD!!"
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
"Thank goodness you've arrived, Heero. He's been sitting there all night!"
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
"He undressed about four AM. Those are his clothes in that pile."
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted -- nevermore.
Quoth the Duo "Cool! Encore?"
The End
(:./lasha/raven)
