16-Nov-2002
Title: Musings
Author: RurouniTriv
Notes: Another poem... what is it about GW that makes me think in poetry? It's rather rambling, trying for a stream-of-consciousness effect. Hope you like it.
Drinking life to the dregs
Like a drunkard gulping wine
He dances, laughs, jokes
He'll never be mine
Why would he want me?
I'm nothing like him
He's beautiful, charming
Everyone likes him
And yet - he comes to me
He fights and works beside me
He tries to make me laugh
And hugs me even when I growl
I'm not the perfect soldier
Not when he's around
I never am anyway
But with others I can hide it
He won't let me.
Won't let me hide my thoughts
Won't let me ignore him
Demands that I live.
I call him a baka. He is.
And yet, he's wiser than me
Odin told me, follow my heart
But I don't know what I feel.
He knows pain and fear
He knows rage and hate
These things we share
These, and the heat of battle
And yet he laughs, he cares
He feasts, he loves
He lives fully in every moment
And I don't live at all.
I survive, sometimes despite myself.
I have tried to self-destruct
And felt no regret that I failed.
But he did.
He missed me, I don't know why
He hugged me when I saw him next
"Heero no baka" he called me
And his eyes shone with tears of joy
I've never seen him cry.
He won't let me or anyone see that
I hide behind a mask of iron
His is a jester's, a clown's.
Not like Trowa's circus garb
No, he's a clown in mufti
And yet - he's the God of Death
Shinigami's get and pride
Deathscythe's pilot, Laughing Death
Dances across the battlefield
Bright blades emerge from darkness
And claim another life
Black the priest's garb he wears
Black his past has been
And yet and yet and yet and yet...
I've never seen a soul so bright.
(:./rt/poem11)
