25-Jul-2001
Title: The Babysitter - The Sleepover
Authors: Wufei is WHAT?!?
Productions (Yoiko and Tzigane)
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Type: Humorous
Fic-stuffs ~_^v
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13? Not sure.
Pairings:
None, really. ^_^
Warnings: Cuteness. Wistful longings of a yaoi nature.
Uncontrollable teenage hormones. Chef Boyardee ravioli.
Disclaimers: We
don't own Gundam Wing, and the Gundam Wing characters are used here without
permission. This is a work of fanfiction, intended solely for entertainment
purposes, and is not meant to be taken as a claim to copyright for the elements
in the story which were not created by us. Also, we intend no disrespect
whatsoever towards the creators and rightful owners of Gundam Wing.
Archive:
Gundam Wing Addiction
C&C: Please, feel free. ^_^
Fourteen-year-old Treize Khushrenada sighed deeply as he stood in the foyer of the rambling ranch-style house, watching all of the parents kiss their children goodbye for the evening. He still wasn't sure how he'd gotten conned into babysitting six small children (and one older child) at once, especially overnight, but the pay was terrific.
He only hoped it would be an uneventful night.
"Now, you be good," was the firm admonition that was reiterated repeatedly, particularly from the parents of little Duo Maxwell.
"Do I hafta?" Duo asked wistfully.
"You hafta," was the emphatic reply, and Duo hung his head sulkily. Nobody seemed to notice that he had actually gotten away with *not* promising to behave. Resisting the urge to smirk, he reached over and grabbed the hand of his best friend, Heero Yuy. Heero scowled and tried to pull his hand free.
"I don't want to hold hands," he said, offering Duo a death glare which, on his chubby-cheeked face, looked adorable as opposed to ominous.
"But Trowa and Quatre are holding hands," Duo replied, grinning cheekily.
"I'll be good," Relena assured her parents, and reached over to grab hold of Heero's other hand.
"That's our little sweetheart," Relena's parents cooed in unison. Contrary to what everybody else thought, they just *knew* that their little princess could do no wrong!
"Stop that! You have COOTIES!" Heero cried, horrified.
"Have a good time, Heero," his mother said, ruffling his dark hair.
"I can't! They won't leave me alone!" Heero whined, struggling to pull free as Duo and Relena began something of a tug-of-war with Heero serving as the rope.
"Well, just don't kill anyone, son," a stern Mr. Yuy said. "That's an order."
"Ninmu ryokai," Heero replied, but he was obviously unhappy about it.
Other parents were (thank goodness) not required to make such demands upon their children, most notably those of Chang Wufei, the youngest in the group. A heated flush of shame spilled momentarily over Treize's face as he watched Wufei's father leaning down to kiss his son goodbye, and his body reacted predictably for a fourteen-year-old boy being presented with an impressive rear view of the first sexually-magnetic male he'd ever met.
*SPROING!*
Chang Wynn was only five years older than Treize himself, and Treize had hidden the crush he'd felt for the older man for a long time, marriage or no marriage. It was a pretty thought, if disgraceful, and oh! Wait! All of the parents were leaving!
"I'll take good care of them!" he promised cheerfully, his braces making his words a bit unclear.
"Yeah," nine-year-old Mirialdo Peacecraft drawled just as the front door shut. "Freckle-snoot here will take good care of them!" Mirialdo had a huge crush on the baby-sitter that led him, rather unfortunately, to make fun of the faint freckles marching cutely across the bridge of Treize's nose. The results of that were, pretty simply, that Treize couldn't stand him. In fact, Mirialdo's teasing led him to feel as if he were just some version of Alfred E. Newman with *braces*, and so the term 'Freckle-snoot' gained him a scowl even as Treize leaned over and picked up Wufei in one arm to settle him on a hip.
Just that was enough to make him a bit happier. Wufei was usually a quiet child with silky, dark hair that reminded him very much of the object of his affections, and *that* was a very fine thing.
The little boy squirmed momentarily, wanting down, but soon knowing that it wasn't going to be allowed, he settled for yelling in Treize's ear. "ICE CREAM!" Wufei shouted, and the word caused six bright pairs of eyes to snap into focus.
"Ice cream!" the children started to shout. "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!!!"
Flinching, Treize shook his head. "You have to have dinner first!" he said, turning to walk towards the kitchen with Wufei still settled on his hip.
"Why not let them have ice cream?" Mirialdo asked. "I want some, too!"
"Pwease?" Trowa asked. "Quatwe and I want ice cweam..." Trowa rarely spoke because of his slight speech impediment; it often earned him amused smiles or even chuckles from adults, and he didn't like to be laughed at -- at least, not when he wasn't trying to be funny. Quatre, bless his dear little heart, never laughed at Trowa. Of course, part of that was because Quatre shared his pain...
"Yeth, we want thome ithe cream, pleathe," Quatre echoed, smiling brightly. He didn't mind that adults smiled and thought he was cute; cuteness often got a fellow what he wanted, after all.
"Dinner *first*," Treize said, setting Wufei down as he rummaged in the cabinet where the groceries were. Usually, he only kept one or two of them at the time; tonight, though, he had the entire lot, so he knew he was going to have to be much more serious than usual!
"Gee, you're grumpy," Mirialdo said. "It's because you're so old, right? The freckles are affecting the way you think, metal-mouth!"
A little growl broke from Treize, but it didn't stop him! Finding a couple of big cans of Chef Boyardee Ravioli, he opened them up while the gaggle of children around him continued to beg for ice cream.
"Ice cream?" Wufei asked, tugging on the leg of Treize's jeans. "Ice cream?"
"Ithe cream?"
"Ice cweam?"
"ICE CREAM!!!" Duo and Relena still hadn't released their death- grips on poor Heero, and they were now trying to outshout each other. Heero whimpered and tried to pull free, mindful of his father's injunction not to kill anybody. It was going to be such a tough order to follow!
"Chef Boyardee, and then ithe... er... ice cream!" Treize said, pulling out a pan and going to work heating up the pasta.
"Spoil sport," Mirialdo muttered, secretly casting Treize a worshipful look.
"I don't like Chef Boyardee," Duo said, momentarily losing his grip on Heero. Because Relena still hadn't stopped pulling, she and Heero both tumbled across the floor from the sudden release.
"You did that on purpose!" Relena wailed.
"Omae o korosu!" Heero snarled, finally disentangling himself from the clingy girl and her Cooties.
"You can't, your daddy told you not to," Duo said, and flung his arms around Heero, effectively imprisoning him yet again.
"No fair!" Heero sniffled, squirming. Meanwhile, Trowa and Quatre had finally noticed what Treize was cooking for dinner.
"Chef Boyawdee?" Trowa asked, eyes wide and appalled.
"You hate uth, Mithter Treithe?" Quatre asked, eyes wide and tear- filled.
Treize's eyes practically crossed as Wufei continued tugging on his pants leg. "No, I don't hate you, only..." How to admit to a bunch of kids that one couldn't yet cook much else?
"I like Chef Boyardee," Wufei said, peering up with great liquid eyes. He also rather liked the color of Treize's hair, and he wished the teenager would lean down so he could fill his hands with it and, perhaps, pat his head. That would make Wufei happy! "I'm thirsty, Mister Treize!"
"Ah, all right," Treize said. "Mirialdo, you get all of them something to drink! Be sure that..." He looked around. /Hmmm.../ "Be sure you check Heero's bag for his sports bottle, and Wufei wants the white plastic cup in the cabinet over the sink. *Don't* forget to pop the top on it good! We don't want a spill!"
"I don't spill!" Heero wailed, still squirming in Duo's clutches. How humiliating! It was bad enough that he had to have Chef Boyardee for dinner, but to have Treize announce in front of everyone -- even Mirialdo -- that he spilled! Unbearable!
"Of course not, Hee-chan," Duo said, patting Heero's wild hair. "How could anybody spill with a sports bottle?"
"Lemme alone," Heero answered with a scowl.
"Can I have miwk, pwease?" Trowa asked.
"I want apple juithe," Quatre piped up. "I can drink out of a big- boy cup."
Mirialdo was frowning. "You'll have what I give you! Which will be what there *is*!" he announced.
"There's apple juice," Wufei said. "And there's milk..."
"And you'll give them what they want, Mirial*do*," Treize stressed. "The others can all have plastic cups like Wufei's, but they don't have to have tops."
"I'm a lady," Relena announced, leaning over to try and kiss Heero's cheek. "Ladies don't spill!"
"STOP TOUCHING ME!" Heero shrieked, and tore free from both Duo and Relena. Since Treize was standing at the stove, there was no protection to be had there. He'd likely get in trouble if he tried to climb between Treize's legs and the oven. Instead, he opted for pelting out of the kitchen, his tormentors hot on his heels. From the kitchen, those remaining could hear the sound of feet thudding up the stairs, down the stairs, and all over the house, accompanied by Relena's delighted squealing and Duo's loud protestations that a lady wouldn't act like that.
Treize groaned. "Mirialdo! Get them to stop that!"
"I'M not babysitting!" Mirialdo protested. "YOU are!!"
"Then stir the ravioli!" Treize growled.
"I'll stir!" Wufei offered. "I can stir!"
"NO!" came the shout, and that brought great big tears that welled up in black eyes, spilling over and making him feel very guilty indeed. "Don't cry, Wufei! I'm sorry I shouted at you!" And he really was, because those big black tearful eyes made him think of his crush and then...
*SPROING!*
"PLEASE make them stop!" Heero cried, gasping for air as he staggered back into the kitchen. Just then, Relena caught up to him enough to hook one finger into the back of his Spandex shorts, and as he tried to pull away, the shorts stretched away from his body to reveal the white underwear his mother had forced him to wear (in spite of his protests that underwear left lines).
"I see London, I see France, I see Heero's underpants!" Duo crowed, and Heero, mortified, jerked his shorts back in place.
"Oh, don't be upset, Heero," Relena said, leaning in and kissing his cheek. "When we're married I'll wash your underwear in the laundry, so it's no big deal for me to see it."
Heero gasped as GIRL LIPS touched his skin, and when he realized that he'd been infected with cooties, he burst into tears and ran to huddle in the corner, wailing as if his heart was broken.
"I see London, I see France," Duo continued, hoping to cheer Heero up. Even the grouchy 'omae o korosu' was better than seeing Heero cry.
"Mirialdo!" Treize cried. "DO something, for God's sake!"
"Oh... Shoot!" Miri said, pouting as he put down the last of the cups and moved to the corner to soothe Heero. "There, there," he said, petting the boy's back consolingly. "I'll beat Relena and Duo up for you, if you want..."
"No beating anybody up!" Treize said, turning off the gas under the ravioli. Wufei was still clinging to his leg, Quatre and Trowa mumbling in little fits over how they were expected to eat Chef Boyardee.
"Make them leave me alone," Heero begged, leaning against Mirialdo and scrubbing the last of the tears from his eyes. Emotional outbursts tended to take a lot out of him, but at least they were mercifully short. "I have to go wash." He stood, determined to scrub until the cooties were gone.
"I don't wike Chef Boyawdee," Trowa muttered rebelliously as he and Quatre watched the babysitter preparing to dish out the warmed pasta.
"I don't like it, either," Quatre replied. "But we can eat the green beanth or whatever elthe there ith. We'll jutht move the Chef Boyardee around on our plateth to make it look like we ate thome. Ok?"
"Ok," Trowa said, and he and Quatre smiled.
Neither of them had taken into account that there was not to *be* anything else.
"Okay!" Treize said. "It's ready!" He picked up the booster seat that had been placed in a corner and placed it in Wufei's chair, lightly sitting the Chinese boy in it. Looking for the white cup, he sighed. Mirialdo hadn't put a top on it!
Still, it was a quick matter to get the top put on and have Wufei settled... just more difficult to get the rest of them! "Hold STILL!" he mumbled as he picked Relena up and tried to put her in a seat.
"I want to check on Hee~eero!" she whined.
In the bathroom, Heero shuddered as the harpy-like voice traveled to assail sensitive ears, and resumed scrubbing.
"No, *I* want to check on Heero!" Duo announced, and scampered away to pound on the bathroom door. "OI, HEE-CHAN!!! Come on out, it's time for DINNER!"
"Go 'way," came the sullen reply.
"Look, just because we saw your underwear..."
"GO 'WAY!" Heero cried.
Trowa, being rather tall for his age, was able to climb up into his chair on his own. Quatre, being rather stubborn for his age, attempted to do the same and managed only to pull the chair over.
"Awe you all wight?" Trowa asked.
"I think there'th thomething wrong with thith chair," Quatre replied.
By that point, Wufei was happily guzzling apple juice from his sippy cup and watching everyone else. "I'm hungry!" he announced. It was Wufei's supper time, whether anybody else wanted to eat or not, and he *liked* Chef Boyardee! Not that his mother let him eat it much... but he *LIKED* it! It was a special treat for when the babysitter came, and he'd been terribly patient.
Recognizing the expression on Wufei's face, Treize quickly dealt out his portion of the ravioli. He was careful to save a bit, because he knew Wufei would want a little more, even though he wouldn't eat all of it.
"Mirialdo!" Treize said sternly. "Watch these four while I go get the other two!"
"You are *so* bossy, Freckle-snoot!" Miri pouted.
"Hee, hee! Freckle-snoot!" Relena chimed in. "Freckle-snoot, Freckle- snoot! Treizey is a Freckle-snoot!"
"He'th not a Freckle-thnoot," Quatre said.
"It's not nice to caww peopwe names," Trowa agreed. "I don't think wadies awe supposed to tawk wike that."
"Well, at least I didn't say, 'Freckle-snoot, Freckle-snoot, it's a wonder he can poot'!"
"Ooooh..." Quatre and Trowa intoned, wide-eyed.
"You thaid a bad word."
"You'we going to get in twouble."
Wufei glanced up, Ravioli smeared over his shirt. "He's got freckles," the Chinese boy agreed belatedly. "Daddy says some people just do, and they're lucky people, and it's cute."
*SPROING!"
Coming back into the room with Heero and Duo in tow, Treize blushed furiously and hurried to the table to hide his suddenly obvious problem, cleaning some of the ravioli sauce off of Wufei. "Ah... Miri, could you sit Heero and Duo down?"
"Geez..." Mirialdo complained with a sigh. Still, he did as asked, plopping Heero down next to Relena, and Duo on Heero's other side. Treize, in the meantime, had settled Quatre firmly into a seat of his own, which left Treize and Mirialdo nowhere to sit at the six-chair table.
"Uh..."
"Heero! You came to sit with me!" Relena cooed.
"Touch me and... and..."
"And what? You can't kill me because your daddy said not to."
"Touch me and you get ravioli on your clothes!" Heero replied, brandishing his fork menacingly. "And that goes double for you!" he added, turning to face Duo just moments before the long-haired boy's fingers could clutch at him. "Both of you just keep your hands to yourselves!"
"He'th cranky," Quatre whispered.
"He needs a nap," Trowa agreed.
"You stop talking about me," Heero groused, still holding a forkful of Chef Boyardee at the ready.
"Definitely cwanky," Trowa whispered, and he and Quatre giggled to each other.
"No flinging ravioli, Heero!" Treize said sternly as he leaned over and finished dipping Miri's plate of ravioli, handing it to him. "But I'll put Duo and Relena with their noses in a corner if they touch you while we're trying to eat, all right?"
"Awww!" Duo protested loudly. "That's not FAIR! She's got *COOTIES*, and I ain't!"
Relena, knowing that Treize wouldn't dare put her in a corner, reached over and poked Heero with one finger. Heero, who had just put down the ravioli weapon, shrieked like a banshee and tumbled out of his chair, running for the bathroom to scrub again.
"Relena!" Treize said sternly, moving to pick her up from her seat. "You go put your nose in the corner!"
"NO!" Relena wailed. "You can't make me put my nose in a corner! MIRI!"
"Don't you put my sister's nose in a corner!" Miri cried. Sure, *he* could be mean to her, but nobody else could!
"Relena's got a corner-nose! Relena's got a corner-nose!" Duo sang.
"She said a bad thing," Trowa commented. "She shouwd have gone to the cownew befowe."
"Yeth, the'th been naughty," Quatre agreed righteously. "I would never call thomeone 'Freckle-thnoot'."
"And she said *poot*," Wufei confided firmly. "And that's *wrong*. I know right and wrong! And she's a dumb *girl*, because freckles are *special*!"
"I do NOT have a corner-nose!" Relena shrieked, her voice growing steadily more strident. "And I'm NOT going to stand in the corner and YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"
"You will SO stand in the corner!" Treize cried, out of patience as he picked her up and headed for the one by the door.
"Leave my sister ALONE!" Miri shouted, chasing after them.
An almost deadly blue gaze swung around, and Miri froze in his tracks. "Am I going to have to tell your parents how badly *you've* acted, too, Mirialdo?" Treize asked sternly.
"Uh..." For a moment, the blond thought about it. Was Relena REALLY worth that? The answer... was a *definite* no! "No?"
"Good!" Treize said, putting Relena in the corner. "Now, you stay there 'til I say you can move or else I'll have to put you in a room by yourself -- and NOT Wufei's!" Wufei's room had toys in it. That wouldn't be any sort of punishment at all!
"I'll call the Child Abuse People on you!" Relena screamed from her spot in the corner. "And I'll tell my DADDY you were MEAN TO ME!!! My daddy's bigger than you and he'll beat you up and I'll LAUGH!!!"
"You're *still* going to stay in the corner," Treize said firmly. "Miri, you can sit in her chair. I'm going to check on Heero!"
"I wondew whewe Mistew Tweize is gonna sit," Trowa said.
"Maybe he thandth up when he eatth," Quatre suggested.
"Like a cow?" Duo asked, laughing. There was a great deal of Chef Boyardee smeared all over Duo's face, hands and plate -- in sufficient quantities to make one wonder if any had actually gotten *into* the boy at all.
"I HATE YOU ALL!!!" Relena shrieked from the corner. "EXCEPT HEERO!!!"
"We hate you, too," Wufei told her callously. "YOU were bad. You touched Heero and said poot, and that's not right, so you have to stand in the corner!"
Quatre frowned thoughtfully. "Now Wufei thaid it, too. Twithe! Doeth that mean he hath to thtand in the corner, too?"
"I don't know," Trowa said, "but I wish Wewena would stop shouting wike that. It's hawd enough to eat this stuff as it is!"
Treize, meanwhile, was having a hard time retrieving his missing charge.
"Heero?"
"Go 'way."
"Heero, open up the door."
"NO, I don't wanna. They keep touching me! I'm gonna stay right here where it's safe 'til my Mama and Dad come."
"Come and eat your ravioli, Heero! I'll get an extra chair and put you between Wufei and Quatre!"
"...ok," Heero said reluctantly, not wishing to disobey a direct order. Besides, sitting next to Wufei and Quatre wouldn't be so bad. Treize released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding as the scowling boy unlocked the door and stepped out. Before he could say anything, Heero reached out and grabbed his hand in an unusual gesture of goodwill.
"Just don't let them touch me any more. Please?" he said, and looked up at Treize with huge, hopeful eyes.
Oh, stars, that look was enough to sucker a 'grown-up' much older than he was! "I'll do my best," Treize promised. "If I have to, I'll put them in a room by themselves, okay?"
"Ok," Heero said, and let go of Treize's hand before they got to the kitchen. It wouldn't fit his 'hands-off' reputation if people saw him willingly touching someone, after all.
End Part 1
(:./yoiko/sitter2)
