26-Oct-1999

The Odds Get Pregnant by Mobiusklein

Part One: The Preggy Odds

"Duo, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Let me in, Howard!"

Howard opened the door and Duo rushed in and closed the door shut behind him. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I knocked up Heero."

"Say what?"

"It's true. When he found out, he turned to me and said, 'Omae o korosu' then he tried to shoot me!"

"Jesus Christ!"

Duo flopped himself on the couch and said, "I've been running ever since." Suddenly the door was flung open and Heero walked in, carrying a gun.

Howard froze and Duo threw himself behind the coffee table.

"Idiot, I'm not going to kill the father of my child!"

"Really?" said Duo, not getting out from behind the table.

Heero put away his gun, then walked over to Duo. "Let's go home."

Quatre and Trowa were having lunch at his house. Quatre poured Trowa some coffee. I'm so nervous, Quatre thought. "I have something to tell you, Trowa."

"I also have something to tell you," said Trowa. "But you go first."

"No, you go. Aren't you going to drink your coffee?"

"I can't drink coffee," said Trowa.

"Why, Trowa?"

Trowa looked down, then said, "I'm with child, your child."

"How, how did this happen?"

"I really don't know, beloved." Trowa looked carefully at Quatre's face for his reaction. He was surprised to see a smile break out over his face.

"You're not angry?"

"Oh, Trowa, I'm so happy. We'll be able to have children naturally!!! Oh, Trowa, I will do the right thing by you." Quatre pulled a box out of his pocket and handed it to him. "Trowa Barton, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

Trowa said, "You need not ask." He then opened the box and saw a diamond ring the size of a doorknob. He facevaulted.

Quatre had stars in his eyes and said, "After I make an honest man of you, lets have even more kids."

"Uh, how many kids are you talking?"

"Oh, just a few, a dozen or so."

Trowa sweatdropped.

Sally and Wufei was in the doctor's office. Dr. Goldblum said, "We've finally found out why Wufei's been sick and why he's been having stomach pain. Congratulations, Wufei, you're going to be a mother."

Sally turned white, then Wufei screamed, "Kisama, what kind of joke is this?"

The doctor glared at him through her glasses and said, "Onna, be quiet!"

"Sally," wailed Wufei, "You knocked me up!"

End Part 1

What is the moral of this story?

1. Of course Sally is the seme, she's taller
2. Heero-uke is a good thing
3. The author has been smoking way too much cocopuffs
4. All of the above

(:./mk/odds1)