Be kind, it is my first time....
Standard disclaimers apply here...
I do not own Gundam Wing, for that matter I do not own ANYTHING. This story is for entertainment only. If you get the grand idea to sue me over it, well you may end up with a car payment.
Warnings: The story contains angst, and the characters are OOC.
Do you ever imagine that you were him? Sometimes I do. With all his beautiful hair, his soft perfect skin. Sometimes I stare at him and wonder what it would be like to be *him*. He is perfection in every way... and I am not. Sometimes I wonder if I can do anything right. I certainly cannot do this right. Ah God, he is beautiful. It is hard to be here, in this room... having him as my roommate. I want to kiss those sleepy pouty lips of his. I could lean over and kiss him right now. Hmmm, I must be getting *really* suicidal to that was a remotely good idea. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? He looks so peaceful and gentle when he sleeping there. I turn back to him... NOT sleeping-he is staring at me. "I hate you, Heero Yuy." I hiss at him. His eyes narrow and he wrinkles his nose at me. What? Do I stink?
"Good." he growls at me.
"Ahhh" I yelp as one of his arms snakes around my waist and yanks me roughly to the bed. He positions me with my back to him. I am too startled to move. Well, at least his arm makes a decent pillow.
"You are too drunk to sleep alone- you will asphyxiate on your own vomit and I am too tired to stay up and watch you. Now go to sleep." I am to afraid to argue.
I really am everything he ever called me. I am nothing but a loud-mouthed fool.
Oh no, I am starting to cry. God, Duo, just breathe... keep yourself from sobbing... calm yourself... breathe. Maybe he won't notice the tears if I can keep myself from shaking.
No such luck. "It's okay, Duo. It's just the alcohol. Just let it out"
Oh God, NO-FUCK, NO. "Get away from me, Heero." It comes out as a hiss.
"No." he tells me in that monotone voice of his.
"Please, leave me alone." I really am a pathetic creature.
"No."
Oh God, I am worthless--I love you Heero Yuy. Oh, please don't see my like this. Please, Heero, please. I *need* you. God, I am so fucking weak. "Please, Heero, please. You don't understand." I beg him.
"No, Duo. It's okay. It is this war.It is the alcohol. It is everything at once. Just let it out, Duo."
He rolls me over to face him. I choke out one more "Please." before the pain in my chest steals my breath away. Good God, I really am worthless and weak.
"It's alright, Duo. Just let it go. It's okay. I AM NOT letting go of you, my friend."
My friend... my friend... my friend... my friend... my friend... my friend.
Why did he have to say that now? It keeps echoing in my head, and it is my undoing. I sob uncontrollably now.
I try to say something, but the sobbing will not stop. I cannot speak.
He is saying something to me now, but all I hear of it was "...we will talk tomorrow. I promise." I wish I had heard all of what he said because a strange look flashes across his face as he said it.
He is being so gentle with me.brushing back my hair.rubbing my back...rocking me as I cry. I cannot help but lean into him as I cry my heart out.
After an eternity the sobs subside. "I am sorry." I whisper.
He whispers into, "Don't be. It's okay. We will talk tomorrow."
He deserves the truth. After what he has done for me tonight, I owe him that much, and if he decides to accept me then I will do everything in my power to deserve that love.
I fall asleep
End Part 1
Next, Heero's POV
(:./silver/pain1)
