25-Feb-2001
Author: Dan
Title: Need Some Distraction
Archive: GWA! ^.~
Disclaimer: Not mine! Don't sue. If you plagerize this fic you really need some help!
Pairings: 2+1(+H), 5+R, 4+3
Timeline: After EW, after "Prices Paid"
Warnings: This is my tribute to the girl of GW. I LIKE them. If you don't and just want to see them tormented (well, I do torment them, but in a good way!) GO AWAY. Flame me for being nice to the girls and I will write a fic with them kicking your ASS! grrrr....
Dorothy greeted me at the door when I came home, late, cranky, sopping wet, and very nearly violent. I snarled at her wordlessly when she got between me and the couch that I desperately wanted to sink into. She merely gave me a smile full of sweetness.
"Well, now, aren't you in a lovely mood? You'd probably feel better if you got out of your shoes and those wet things." She laughed when I looked down at myself, sighed, and then stripped then and there.
"That's efficient." Hilde was leaning against the wall looking as if she wasn't sure she should stay or run. Her eyes were full of apprehension and regret. I hated that look more than I hated the pain I normally saw in them because I knew I had caused it.
"Hilde..." I walked across the room to hold her hands. "I'm so sorry."
She frowned at me. "Why? I was the one being bitchy."
"I think we both were, honestly." We looked at each other and couldn't quite figure out how to say we were sorry and make it sound sincere. We were, but the words had gotten so tired that they didn't mean anything anymore.
Dorothy held up a hand and walked over to us. "Okay, wait a minute. What the hell is going on? You're both making idiots out of yourself. Not that it's all that unusual but normally Relena does it with her clothes on." Trust Dorothy to put things in perspective.
It didn't do much for pride when Dorothy all but fell over laughing at us when we explained how we had managed to hurt each others feelings last night. "You two got into a tiff over men? Lord, that has to be the stupidest reason on the face of the planet." She crossed her arms over her chest, "Now kiss and make up, and then we'll have a lovely little reconciliation party."
Hilde perked up at that. "Party?"
Dorothy snickered. "I think getting smashed is in order."
I arched an eyebrow at the pair of them, and a lovely pair they were, perfectly complementing each other. Dorothy's long blond hair, elegantly scooped up into a sweeping ponytail. Hilde's short black hair a mess of curls about her face. Short and dark matched against tall and fair. The sudden burst of affection made me stupid. "Sure. Why not? My day had been pure hell anyway, might as well get wonderfully drunk."
Hilde grinned at me, and Dorothy ruffled my hair in affection. "That's the spirit. Lets get wonderfully snookered, silly, and then maybe you'll let me try on all your clothes."
She did manage to talk me into let her try on all my clothes; it only took a bottle and half of Dom's to talk me into too. We were well into our third bottle of bubbly and I needed held up to navigated the hallway from one room to another. Once Dorothy had gotten through my clothes she started in on Hilde's. It had already been decided that we were definitely due for a shopping trip. According to my wonderful best friend my clothes were more likely than not to attract pedophiles, and Hilde's dress clothes had caused our fashion conscious friend to wrinkle her nose in disgust.
"I can't believe you have nothing to wear when you go out." Dorothy huffed at Hilde. Apparently not owning at least one mini-skirt, black dress, or pair of heels was a major crime in Dorothy's book. Her commentary on my clothing had been almost as bad.
"I do too. Those black pants are perfectly fine." Hilde growled and swatted away the dress Dorothy was trying to tug over her head. "Not wearing a damned dress to go out dancing. Gets in the way."
Dorothy arched one eyebrow and commented dryly. "Oh, I think Duo and Heero would beg to differ about it being in the way."
It took me a minute to process that comment. When I did I dissolved into a fit of giggles. "CAT! I can't believe you said that!"
Hilde's cheeks were a brilliant stain of red, and she gave us both a fair approximation of Heero's scowl. "I'm not even going to go into how wrong you are. Those two don't care about me."
I crossed my arms over her legs and rested my head on them. I smiled up at her. "Oh, I don't know about that." Before she could reply I turned to Dorothy with a mock solicitous tone. "Well, since you have shown great disapproval with our wardrobes, care to show us how it should look?"
Dorothy pretended to give the request great consideration before nodding her head with a drunk's sense of decorum. "All right. I'll show you how a proper wardrobe is to be put together."
I sighed realizing that going to Dorothy's room would require me to actually stand up and move. Something I'm not real good at when blasted out of my head. Hilde slid to her feet with the boneless grace of a trained martial artist and offered me her hand. Between the two of us we managed to get through the door of her room to the hallway.
"Whoops. Watch out there, Rel." Hilde tucked one arm under mine and we tried to make a straight course for Dorothy's room. "Easy does it, nice and slow."
Dorothy snagged the bottle of bubble and tittered her way down the hall, humming like a lunatic. I dissolved into giggles for the third time in the night. So I'm a giggly, friendly drunk. Better than a brooding one.
"Oh my god. I am so, so, so, so, soooo unbelievably drunk." The world was nice and warm and definitely fuzzy. I liked it being fuzzy.
"I think we have definitely reached the snookered phase." Dorothy snickered. She was leaning precariously against her door as she watched us make our way from Hilde's room. I lived in an apartment for God's sake. How did it get so big?
Hilde grinned and then giggled as I started to slide perilously close to horizontal. "Man, Rel you have abs-fucking-lutely no tolerance. Sheesh, one bottle and you're smashed."
I blew at my hair and sneered at her. "Laugh it up, shorty. You ain't so sober either."
"More sober than you."
"Are not."
"Are too. Who's the one wobbling down the hallway?"
"Are not. Who's wobbling with me?"
"Shut up. Are too."
"Won't. Are not."
"Are too."
"Are NOT."
"Are too. Are too. Are too!"
"Girls, girls, a little dignity please. We are grown women here, not three year olds." Dorothy struck what she thought was a matriarchal pose; unfortunately for her, that took her back away from the wall that had been supporting her and she slid quickly to the floor looking a little flustered.
"Shut up, Barbie." Hilde shot back with all the decorum of a sailor.
"Barbie!" Squeaked Dorothy.
"Definitely Barbie. Look at you. Great tits, more blonde hair than you can shake a really big stick at, and legs up to your goddamn ears. Barbie." Hilde finally got frustrated enough with our lack of progress that she just picked me up. I squeaked and her eyes nearly crossed with concentration as she tried to walk down the hallway without us both landing on our rumps.
"I always wanted to be Barbie." I commented from the unstable security of Hilde's arms. "That bitch has everything."
"Ken ain't bad either." Hilde replied. Then she looked at me. "So THAT explains your fascination with pink."
I stuck my tongue out at her.
"Oh, now that's mature, Ms. Minister of Foreign Affairs."
"But extremely satisfying."
"Bah. Ken's overrated." Dorothy pushed herself up and followed us to the bed. It wasn't fair. She didn't even sway. I have two glasses I can't walk straight to save my soul. I can tell you everything that is happening, but I've got absolutely no motor control. It's not fair.
"So says the woman who tossed over Quatre." I muttered.
"More like got tossed over by him." To my utter horror one crystalline tear slipped over the edge and spilled down her cheek.
"Cat? Oh baby..." I crawled across the bed to cuddle her. "What happened then? I thought you divorced him."
"Only after finding him in bed with Trowa." She smiled at my dumbfounded look even though those silver tears kept slipping down her cheeks. "I knew. I'm not stupid. You'd have to be absolutely blind not to notice what was going on with them during and after the war. I just didn't think I'd find him boinking him in our bed. That's all."
Hilde snuggled up to Dorothy's knees from her position on the floor. "I'd've killed him. It's a matter of principle."
"Why did you marry him if you knew?" I couldn't quite comprehend this one. In my alcohol befuddled mind I couldn't quite grasp it. "Why did he marry you if you knew? My brain hurts."
"I think we were using each other to fix ourselves. Sort of some sick form of punishment." Dorothy sighed and flopped over backward onto the bed. "He wanted to rescue me from me. He wanted to fix me; make me into the sweet kind person he saw in his head. And he didn't want to admit he was gay. His religion sort of frowns on it."
Hilde crawled up the bed to lean over Dorothy to give her what would have been a very serious expression if she hadn't been drunk out of her mind. "Fuck him."
"That's right." I nodded and then moaned when it made the world spin. "Men only see what they want to see of women anyway. Mother or child, virgin or whore, they only see what they want. Bastards."
"I say we paint his gundam pink." Hilde announced with great relish.
"They blew them up, remember? He doesn't have a gundam any more. Besides, what's wrong with pink?" I huffed at her. "It's a very dignified color."
"Yeah, if you're five and a daddy's girl." Hilde sneered at me.
I gave an inarticulate shriek of rage and whopped her a good one with a pillow. Clobbering Dorothy in the process.
"Hey! I'm neutral here! Leave me out of it." Dorothy whapped me with a pillow in self-defense. "Besides, I'm the one suffering here, remember?"
"Nothing like a pillow fight then." Hilde replied. "WAR!!!"
"That's it girly, you are so going down." Dorothy grabbed two pillows and proceeded to clobber the snot out of both of us with them. I'd forgotten what a warmonger she'd been.
End of Part 8
(:./dan/distraction8)
