9 Jun 2000
DISCLAIMER: All Gundam Wing characters are property of Sunrise, Bandai Visuals, Sotsu Agency, and Asahi TV. This work is not written for profit, but for entertainment purposes only.
WARNINGS: Shonen-ai (will become lemon); angst (prolly my fault -tz ^_~); some sap (my fault, not Tzi's)
Pairing: 6x5/5x6 (Implied 13x6, 13x5)
Authors's Notes: La Vita Va Su is set in the summer of A.C. 196. Zechs has returned to Earth and is living in Luxembourg after being presumed dead in the explosion of the Libra. Wufei is deep in mourning over Treize's death and is also in Luxembourg, living in the old Romefeller mansion in which Treize was imprisoned during the war.
Key for punctuation:
character dialogue - quotation marks
character thoughts - slashes
>>And I will make sense of it all
Gonna try to make sense of it all
You ask me why , 'cause it's all I can do
I miss him every day, but now I miss you<<
The storm had finally arrived in earnest and Zechs watched it out the window, in between sips of coffee, while he read the newspaper. He was intent on an article about the role his sister was playing in the foundation of the new world government, wondering when, if ever, he would let Relena know he was still alive. /And Noin... what to do about Noin?/
He had seen her once, from afar, one day as he approached the cemetery. He had ducked behind one of the stone pillar of a small crypt nearby and watched her -- beautiful Noin -- as she knelt at his empty grave and wept. They had been heart-rending sobs and he'd wanted nothing more than to go to her and show her he was there, had survived, and that her tears could be dried. But he couldn't make himself do it. Noin wanted something from him --had always wanted something from him -- that he was simply unable to give her. And approaching her then, when she was that vulnerable, would only have made matters worse.
Mentally shying away from the unpleasant thoughts, he returned to the newspaper article, unconsciously tucking his hair neatly behind his ears as he did so. /And at some point, I should probably wake Wufei up and try to get some food into him./
From the doorway, a slight sound betrayed Wufei's presence as he looked at the tall, beautiful man who'd been Treize's lover with something resembling a yearning that he didn't -- couldn't -- express. "I fell asleep," he murmured, realizing how stupid it sounded. "I didn't mean to inconvenience you. How long did I sleep?"
The blanket from the bed was still wrapped around him and he hitched it up over a bare shoulder. His clothes had probably been sopping wet and he'd obviously been divested of them, for the best. He'd have hated to wake up in wet covers. It amazed him, in fact, that he'd slept at all. He hadn't managed to sleep for more than a handful of hours in the months since Treize's death.
Zechs looked up as a nearby lightning strike illuminated the softly lit room. "You've been out for about six hours," he said rising to his feet. "Do you feel any better? Less dizzy? I'm going to make you something to eat," he said brushing past the boy and stepping into the tiny but immaculate kitchen. The he turned for a moment and eyed the boy sternly. "And you *will* eat it. *All* of it."
No particular protest sounded as Wufei followed him, bare feet cool against the kitchen tiles as he watched Zechs open the refrigerator. "I haven't been hungry lately," he mumbled, looking away from the tall blond.
Well, it was true.. he hadn't been. Food didn't hold much interest, no more than sleep, and as often as not the mere smell of the fast food he ran out for almost made him ill. On the other hand, the six hours of sleep he'd gotten had certainly left him feeling a little better and, perhaps, even a little hungry, so maybe it wouldn't be so very bad.
A handful of eggs, a couple of new potatoes, chives and tiny container of sour cream came out of the refrigerator. Within a minute the potatoes were diced with some of the chives and in a small saute pan. Plucking a broad knife from a drawer, Zechs brought it down hard on a garlic clove and minced it, throwing it in the pan along with a dash of salt and pepper and a dollop of oil. While they were starting to simmer he brought out two small plates and a bowl. Giving the potatoes a stir, Zechs beat the eggs with salt and a bit of garlic. Then, with one last stir, he turned the perfectly sauteed potatoes out on to a plate and filled the sautée pan with the beaten eggs. Within five minutes Wufei was being ordered to sit at the table.
Zechs put the plate in front of him. "Now," he said firmly. "Eat this. All of it. *And* this." And with that, he reached in the refrigerator once more and pulled out a small dish of strawberries. The he stood next the Wufei's place at the table and folded his arms. "Eat!"
A certain amount of awe had filled Wufei's eyes as he had watched Zechs cook. Cooking was something that, in his experience, was done by someone out of sight, or something that ~he~ burned over an open campfire. Watching someone who was obviously at home with such matters was certainly an amazing experience! "I'll be sick if I eat it all!" he protested even as he picked up a fork, eyeing what seemed to him to be absolute MOUNDS of food after the last few months.
"Nonsense," Zechs said flatly. "One potato omelette and a dish of strawberries is hardly enough to do that." He poured a large glass of milk and set it in front of the Chinese boy's plate. "This is a proper meal," he said evenly, the European in him coming to the fore, "not like the things you probably have been living on - mung beans and ginger, or whatever it is you eat. Besides, boys your age are *supposed* to eat heartily."
Both black brows raised at those words, something of the old fire that had roiled in him before Treize's death rising. "I've NOT been living on 'mung beans and ginger'! Mostly..." What was the last thing he'd eaten? "American food," he muttered, that flash of heat fading away as he took the first bite obediently. "Rice and vegetables are more what I'm accustomed to. This is... rich in comparison." It was good -- delicious, in fact -- and he'd taken a third bite almost before he realized it.
Zechs was already at the sink, cleaning up. "Yes, well, maybe it *seems* that way to you, but frankly, rich is what you need right now if you ever want to have any meat on those bone of yours. There is simply *no* way possible you could ever put on any bulk on rice and vegetables. I was raised to believe that rice was for puddings and that was about it." He turned off the water and hung up a dish towel to dry. And his kitchen was back to where it always had to be - spotless.
"Well... maybe," he said lamely, not really convinced. Still, the certainty in Zechs's voice cowed him somewhat as he blinked at the other man and went back to eating steadily, bite after bite until he knew if he had another, he'd be sick. "I can't," Wufei said finally, putting down the fork. "I can't anymore. Maybe later..."
Zechs walked to the table and picked up the plate, frowning down at the uneaten portion. He gave a small grunt to Wufei, a rather obscure "permission" of sorts that the latter was free to get up and took the plate back to the sink. "There is a shower through the doorway you came through. I suggest you get into it and steam yourself until your skin is red. Then look in my closet. Surely there is *something* you can find to wear until your clothes dry."
Black brows were beetled together as the Chinese pilot of Shenlong looked at Zechs, frowning slightly. Well, he did need a bath, but... A little bit of obstinacy entered him as a decidedly sullen pout crossed his lips. "You're bossy," he muttered under his breath, standing up and putting the chair underneath the table.
Zechs felt a small, strange thrill at Wufei's words. Something he couldn't understand, couldn't quite put his finger on, but was there, nonetheless. He frowned at the pouting boy, leaning gracefully against the sink and folding his arms stubbornly. "Well judging by your appearance it would seem that you *need* someone to be 'bossy' with you. You haven't taken care of yourself at all so I -" He cut himself off abruptly, realizing what he was about to say. /Damn you Treize! What did you see in this obstinate child? I can't for the life of me imagine you putting up with this./
He turned his back to Wufei and stared out of the kitchen window. "Are you going to get cleaned up, or will I have to do it for you?"
Dark eyes widened impossibly as Wufei looked at him, the expression of surprise that he couldn't quite keep off of his face an unimaginable look for him. "I.... can bathe on my own!" he assured Zechs, finally managing to frown again as he hitched up the blanket covering him once again and turning to trail out of the kitchen. He paused in the doorway and glanced back uncertainly as if he would say something but then continued on his way.
"Everything's a battle with him." Zechs was muttering to himself as he got out the broom and mop for the kitchen floor. It wasn't dirty, he'd washed it the evening before, but cleaning was one of the most soothing activities Zechs could do when he felt upset, so he cleaned a floor that was spotless and kept up a running monologue with himself as he did. "Can't do anything easily, oh no, has to argue about it and get angry and then pout - *pout*for God's sake. And Treize found this *endearing?* Hmpf! Cranky, rude, ungrateful..."
He'd finished the floor and was now attacking the counter tops and cabinets with a cloth and a bottle of anti-bacterial spray. "... stubborn, defiant..." /Then why did you feel the way you did when he told you you were "bossy?" Isn't he a pretty little thing? Such creamy skin, glossy hair... wouldn't you like to take the band off of it and see it fall to his shoulders.../ "No!" Zechs aloud and brought the towel down hard on the counter. "He just reminds you of Treize. That's the only reason you feel this way, you fool."
Switching off the lights in the kitchen, he made up the sofa into a small bed with blankets and pillows then sat down to finish the newspaper while Wufei finished cleaning up.
In the bathroom, Wufei had searched through the cabinets until he'd found towels and washcloths and had slipped beneath the hot water, still a little sullen at being ~ordered~ to bathe. /Almost as if I didn't like to or didn't want to. I am NOT some dirty little child who needs to be told when to eat and when to sleep and when to bathe..../
Still, somewhere in the back of his mind, he had to argue with himself over that. /Except that I HAVEN'T been sleeping or eating or even bathing too regularly, for that matter.../ A sigh slid from his throat as he reached up and began scrubbing at dirty strands of black hair, scowling at himself. /So maybe I *do* need somebody to order me to do things like that right now.../
But... Zechs Marquise? "You're out of your mind, Chang Wufei," he muttered to himself as he rinsed the suds out of his hair. "Utterly and completely out of your mind."
After that, he concentrated on getting clean, finally stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his hips and another one around his head. The sight of himself in the mirror was almost laughable and so he scowled at it instead before pulling the towel on his head loose and beginning to rub at the loose strands of tangled black hair. "And as for finding something to wear..." He sighed. Standing next to Zechs made him feel short and... Well, it made him feel short. That was bad enough, wasn't it? And maybe funny-looking, too. It didn't help any that Treize had sometimes whispered the other man's name in his sleep. "Wufei no BAKA," he said to himself disgustedly, abandoning the bathroom after hanging up the towel with which he'd quickly dried his hair.
The closet was full of all sorts of things, but it still took him forever to find anything he thought would fit without him tripping over the ends. He finally found a cache of boxer shorts and t-shirts neatly folded in a dresser drawer in the bedroom and pulled those on, hanging up the second towel before leaving the bedroom once again. By then, his usual scowl was firmly in place, hair still hanging in limp damp strands that he brushed back behind his ears to keep out of his face.
Zechs looked up as the boy walked back into the room. He stared at the odd outfit for a moment, then decided to be polite about the whole thing and say nothing. Standing and folding the newspaper neatly, he pointed to the small makeshift bed. "You can sleep here, but I know you might not be able to sleep immediately. So I would like you to sit down and listen to me." He slipped his hands into his pockets, an unfortunate habit he'd picked up from some of his subordinates in OZ, and one that he fully intended on breaking. One day.
A wave of helplessness and anger rose in Wufei and his face screwed up slightly as he held back tears, a sudden jolt of misery striking him deeply. /Idiot. I cry at the stupidest times../ "If this is going to be a lecture on what I'm doing to myself and what I should do and what Treize would want, I..."
"Hush!" Zechs had moved forward and as he said the word, his voice slightly raised, he laid a finger on Wufei's mouth, fixing him with an intense, ice blue gaze. "If you feel you need a lecture that can be arranged, but frankly I don't have one prepared. And." he said before the boy could say anything further, "I don't appreciate having my words anticipated in such a manner."
The surprise of that momentary touch left him quiet before he mumbled against Zechs's finger a quiet, "Sorry," and looked away, a bit tentative in the wake of that brush of feeling.
Zechs sat in an overstuffed chair across from the sofa, waiting for Wufei to settle before he spoke. "What Treize would want," he said softly, "is for your welfare to be looked after. *Not* because he thought you weren't capable of it," Zechs said, anticipating the Chinese boy's argument, "but because he would be concerned about how his death would affect you." He paused for a moment, frowning down the length of his long legs, stretched out before him. "He would want you cared for while you were grieving, so you could concentrate *on grieving* and not jeopardize your own life."
The blond finally looked up at Wufei. "At least, that is what *I* think he would say. And I am offering that to you, should you want it." A marked confusion fell over Wufei's face as he pulled his knees up to his chest and turned his face to stare out the window as Zechs spoke, eyes half closed again already now that he was warm and fed. "So it's in the way of an obligation," he said slowly, not looking at the tall blond. "A burden to be borne."
Well, he'd been a burden to more than one person in his life... Meiran, Ron Shirin, Treize... though perhaps less of one to Treize than he had been to the others. He didn't want to be a burden to anyone else, much less Treize's former lover... the man by whom he'd always felt overshadowed, somehow...
"No." Zechs's voice was quiet but confident. "It's not an obligation. It's... a lesson he taught me, that I have learned too late. That there is something that warriors share, even when they fight on opposite sides. They see things, do things that cannot be imagined by people who have never seen a battlefield." He was staring down at the floor now, feeling discouraged already and hating himself for not being strong enough to make this boy see sense. "It's true that I made this offer to you because I knew Treize would have wanted it. But it isn't an obligation. He was, in many ways, my teacher, and..." He stopped suddenly, aware of the revealing territory he was heading for. /I don't want him to see that part of me. That isn't necessary for what I need to do.../
He stood up again, feeling restless and also extremely tired, and walked slowly to the windows the boy was staring out of. He turned to face Wufei and sat on the window sill, his arms folded. "I don't know much about you, Wufei. But I know that you were the one he was in love with, not me. Still, my offer is sincere, but of course you have every right to get up and walk out of here if that's what you really want to do."
"Is that what you want me to do?" Wufei asked, unable to stop himself or the uncertain tremor in his voice. There wasn't anywhere in the world that he belonged anymore, nor in space. Zechs's offer was terribly tempting, but Zechs would be like everyone else, if he stayed; he'd get tired of Wufei fast and be glad to be rid of him, or he'd die just from being in Wufei's proximity. That always happened. "I don't want to be a burden on anyone..."
"Damn you!" Zechs yelled, standing and slamming his palms against the table in front of Wufei. He stared hard into the boy's eyes, their faces just inches apart. "I am *not* doing this out of obligation to *anyone* and I would *not* make an offer that I did not intend to fulfill! I want you here! I want to get behind that ridiculous wall you've built to keep everyone else away! I don't know what else to say to you, though. My God, do you want me down on my knees and begging??" His breath was coming fast as he stared hard into endlessly black eyes.
The force of Zechs's hands created a sound that would have been enough to make Wufei jump, before the war had started. Now, though, he simply looked at Zechs, so close to him, with an exhausted gaze and frowned slightly, thoughtfully. /It's somewhere to stay... and it's much better than being alone right now. I'm going crazy alone.../ "You don't have to beg. It's just hard to imagine you, or anyone, wanting.... Never mind. I accept."
Zechs straightened, still looking at the boy. /Nothing gets to him. Nothing I say or do really gets through. There's nothing coming back on his part. Maybe I really am worthless to do anything constructive.../ The tall blond sighed. He was tired and felt a strange sense of humiliation over what had just happened. It was time to leave Wufei to himself for awhile. He turned away and walked towards the bedroom. "Fine. I'm going to bed."
As he walked away, however, an intense dark gaze followed him filled with confusion and something resembling longing.
End of Part 3
(:./kumiko/lvvs3)
