23 Aug 2001
Pairing: 2+R
Category: Romance
Rating for this section: PG-13 (for innuendo and smooching)
What to expect: Hetero-ai, probable sap. I don't think this
is OOC, but others are free to find it so. Takes place after
EW, so it's AU in the way all hypothetical-future fics
necessarily are.
What to expect: Hetero-ai, probable sap, LEMONISH.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Sunrise, the Sotsu Agency,
and Bandai, and I intend only to increase their revenues by
contributing this derivative work.
/ denotes thoughts, emphasis
It's all right, it's all right, it's all right
She moves in mysterious ways
Relena awoke with late-morning light in her eyes, and lay blinking for a moment at the unfamiliar ceiling. She stretched both arms over her head, wincing as sore muscles protested the motion, and then relaxed against the pillow with a secret little smile. She had the bed to herself, but without even lifting her head she saw enough to keep her from feeling abandoned; the covers had been tucked carefully around her, and the soft blue bathrobe lay over the back of a chair within arm's reach of the bed. She pulled on the robe, gathering up a change of clothes before slipping into the bathroom to shower.
When Relena emerged, dressed in shorts and a blouse, she was in the process of gathering her hair into a ponytail. The kitchen was bright and silent, as empty as the rest of the apartment; an empty juice glass sat next to the sink, and a note lay on the table. Relena picked it up, deciphering Hilde's scrawl with only a little difficulty: 'Am feeling much better!!! Went to infect Serge. Will **definitely call** before coming home. Smooch, smooch! --H'
A postscript was scribbled across the bottom of the page: 'Duo-- We're out of coffee. Go get some before she wakes up!!'
Relena turned the sheet over, but nothing more had been added to the front or back of the note. She tapped the paper against the table, a thoughtful frown wrinkling her forehead, and then paused to pick up a key ring that had been left next to the note. Though she couldn't be sure of all their functions, a familiar motorcycle manufacturer's logo stamped on one haft was enough to tell Relena that these were probably Duo's keys. And the front door of the apartment, though not deadbolted, was definitely locked; Duo must have secured it on his way out. Perhaps he had come back while she was in the shower, and she hadn't heard him knock? Relena knew where the store was, having passed it on the taxi ride to their house the night before. So she could probably find it again--at the very least, she could meet him on his way back. Humming to herself, she went to find her shoes.
It was bright outside, too, but not hot; though the manufactured sunlight was warm on her bared neck, Relena was glad she had pulled on one of Duo's sweatshirts before setting out. She hadn't gone far when she spotted him, sitting on a bench in the little park at the end of the block. Absorbed in thought, Duo didn't seem to notice her approach; she paused at the end of the bench, just watching him for a moment before she spoke. "Good morning."
He looked up, startled. "Oh--hey! I was going to be back before you woke up."
"It's all right. I found Hilde's note, and figured out where you'd gone. Which was a good thing, since I think I have your keys." Relena tossed him the key ring, and then picked up one of the cups by his feet to peer under its plastic lid. "Duo? Why are you sitting here guarding cold coffee?"
"We ran out," Duo explained, not quite meeting her eyes. "So I went to get some more, and then I thought it'd save time if I just brought back some from the café instead, and--"
"And then this bench took you prisoner?" Relena was still buoyed by last night's joy, and it took her another moment to register his unease. "Duo, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
"Not exactly. I just started thinking." He looked away, staring out over the park.
"Why do I get the feeling these weren't happy thoughts?" she prodded, trying to get him to smile.
Duo didn't take the bait. "Last night, we shouldn't have-- there's something we should've talked about before last night."
"What?" Relena asked, growing more and more concerned.
His eyes swung up to meet hers, dark and guarded. "I need you to explain the whole Heero thing."
Relena rubbed her arms, fighting a sudden chill. "If there had been anything you needed to know, don't you think I would have told you a long time ago?"
"Tell me now," he insisted. "Even if it's nothing."
"Oh, Duo." She sat down slowly on the other end of the bench.
"Look, I know you were in love with him--and I'm okay with that, really. I think. It's just that if you're planning to keep on being in love with him, I--"
"I am not!" Relena almost shouted, then looked guiltily around the park before continuing more quietly. "I'm not in love with Heero. That is, I wasn't ever--augh." She sighed, grimacing in frustration, and began again. "An explanation? All right. He was a very safe person to have a crush on."
"Safe? Heero Yuy, safe? Right." Duo gave a short laugh of utter disbelief.
"Well. Not exactly likely to drown a person in vats of returned affection, is he?"
"I guess not."
"See? Safe. I could cherish all the hopeful fantasies I wanted, and never risk actual involvement--which was a good thing, believe me. I was so young, after all, and things were so very uneasy in the world. It's funny--it was only a couple of years ago, but it seems like I was so much younger." She pulled her feet up onto the bench, resting her chin on her knees.
Duo poked vengefully at the ground with a stick. "J missed some connections when he was wiring his little wooden boy, if you ask me. Nothing else could possibly explain how Heero can be such a total emotional waste of space."
"Oh, I hardly think that's fair," Relena objected mildly. "He'll find somebody, someday. When he's ready. But it won't be me--I don't think I ever really wanted it to be. I wasn't ready for anything like that. My feelings were very real," she clarified, "but I don't know that they were really love. And anyway, when he first made his big entrance, I think I just wanted change. Something, anything, to happen. I would have been delighted to see--" Relena racked her brain for a sufficiently unlikely object. "--Dr. J wash up on that beach."
Duo looked suitably shocked. "That sure would have made for a different story."
"Wouldn't it? She tried to look thoughtful, as if actually considering it, then laughed a bit wistfully. "Anyway, if the world had gotten a better look at the five of you, you all would have been greeted like movie stars; Heero just got his cheering section a bit ahead of schedule. And unfortunately for him, it was only a fanclub of one."
"I wish it'd been me," Duo broke out with sudden ferocity, before recovering himself with an unconvincing laugh. "I mean, think about it: Heero washes up next to a school full of pretty girls, and what do I get? Howard. No justice in the world."
"Maybe I wasn't ready for you yet," Relena said gently.
"Maybe," he conceded. "But I was so ready for you."
Unable to stay at the other end of the bench, she slid close enough to put her arms around him. He laid his cheek against her hair, continuing, "I never believed in anything, my whole life. And then I meet some crazy girl on a submarine, and it was like the sun came up."
"I remember that," she said quietly. "You saved me from the bad guy with the gun, as I recall."
"Tried to," Duo agreed. "But you know how hard it is to reason with crazy girls."
She laughed. "I know."
"And anyway, you were busy looking at Heero, like--like he was your sun coming up." He drew a deep breath, not quite a sigh. "I wanted you to see me, you know? Really see me. And I'd just about decided that it wasn't ever going to happen."
"Even crazy girls take a look around them once in a while," Relena returned, drawing away to poke him in the shoulder. "Anyway, you weren't exactly forward about it, if memory serves."
"Safer that way," Duo pointed out.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Since when has that been a priority for you?"
"Hey, I only run in stealth mode when it's absolutely necessary. Anyway, that whole strategy kind of backfired on me." At Relena's questioning look, Duo explained, "I'm used to being whatever people want me to be--you want tough, I can be tough. You want silly, I can do that, too." A wry grin came and went, leaving his face troubled. "But when I'm with you, it's like I forget how to play the game, or something. And that scares the crap out of me, Relena--because I'd do anything to be perfect for you, and I can't. All I can be is me."
Relena smiled faintly. "Perfectly matched."
He looked up, puzzled.
"Sometimes I think we're too much alike, Duo. So good at figuring out what our next lines should be, and so bad at knowing when to throw away the script." Relena sighed, frowning a little as she searched for the right words. "People talk about 'being yourself' as if that's easy--as if it isn't a tremendous leap just to come to terms with yourself, let alone being able to share any of that with someone else. That takes a lot of work, and a lot of strength, and more trust than anyone can reasonably expect." She looked up from her sandalled feet, her face clearing. "It's taken a while, but I think I'm getting better at it myself--because I know I can be my whole self with you, even when that means being far from perfect."
Duo tried to answer her, but was silenced by the sheer weight of all he wanted to say.
She smiled softly at him, continuing, "And that's what I would want, if I could have anything--for you to know, really _know_, that you can trust me with those things too. The good and the bad, no matter what."
Now he had to say something, had to put words to this emotion before it crushed him. "So in love with you. For so long, you know?"
"I know." Relena brushed his cheek with the backs of her fingertips, her clear eyes bright with something like tears. "I'm catching up."
Duo held out his arms so she could slide back into them, turning sideways on the bench to draw her more securely against him. For now, there was little need for words; it was enough to breathe the elusive scent of her hair, to feel the trusting pressure of her back against his chest. Eventually, though, the tenderness of the moment crept toward something warmer. Taking advantage of the privacy offered by their secluded bench, he dropped a series of light kisses against her neck. Her contented little sigh only made him bolder, and he eased his grip on her waist, freeing one hand to slide into her hair.
Coming up for air, Relena tipped her head back against his shoulder to fix him with huge, imploring blue eyes. "Can we go back to bed now?"
"But you just got up," Duo protested, not ready to give up this peaceful embrace.
She pressed deliberately back against him, her lips curving in a wicked little smile. "So did you."
"Hey, now--play nice," he managed, holding on to her waist to prevent more dangerous wriggling.
"If you won't take me home," Relena answered, twisting around to gaze innocently at him, "I'll just have to play here."
"You're not nice at all." Duo tweaked her nose, regarding her with deep suspicion. "I mean, you look all sweet, but you're really pure evil. Why didn't somebody warn me about you?"
"Because I'm sneaky?" She tipped her head to one side, looking up at him hopefully.
Duo broke into helpless laughter. "Oh, very sneaky. And about as subtle as a Mack truck, too. Now quit doing that, if you want me to stand up without shocking a whole park full of mommies."
"They got to be mothers somehow, didn't they?" Relena observed. "I'd guess they're more likely to be jealous." But she obediently scooted away on the bench, swinging her feet back to the ground. Duo leaned forward, elbows on knees, closing his eyes intently.
"What are you doing?" Relena whispered, trying to be unobtrusive.
"Shh--don't break my concentration. I'm imagining Howard in a tutu."
She giggled. "Is it working?"
"Not yet." He opened one eye to look at her. "Stop being cute, or this will take longer."
"I can hum the Waltz of the Flowers, if that will help--?"
"Might be worth a try." Duo glanced up at Relena again, and was immediately undone by the way her ponytail brushed the curve of her bare neck. "Oh, to hell with it," he growled. "Come on!" Grabbing her hand, he vaulted off the bench and took off for home.
End of Part 8: Exegesis
(:./lilias/mystified8)
