03-Jun-2000
Okay-dokey. This is going to be crossposted to the RelenaWufei list as well. They are an unlikely couple, thus hearing Pearl Jam made me pop up with this story. It's going to be a one-shot story.
Warnings: None. No lemon. No lime.
Pairings: R+5, 1+2 (but minimally)
Spoilers: None
Archive it? If you want.
Song by: Pearl Jam
Key:
[--contains lyrics--]
'--denotes thoughts--'
[Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over]
Relena stared at the clock once more. She could no longer contain the sigh. 'Why do I do this to myself. I should just leave him. I don't think he'd care one way or the other. Yes! I should leave and go ... where?' Then she thought back on how they had gotten together.
Relena was tired of constantly being ignored by Heero Yuy. She had tried every trick in the book to get him to commit to her. She knew he loved her, but not in the way she wanted. She wanted him to love her as a woman and not as an ideal. She could never succeed. At first she blamed that long-haired idiot, Duo, who was constantly at his side. She tried breaking up their "special friendship" and failed. Finally, she decided it was maybe time to move on.
She never expected that moving on would mean moving on to Chang Wufei. It was all kind of funny how that happened. One night she had escaped the many ministers and politicians who demanded her attention by running into a bar. She slid up to the bar and asked for a gin and tonic. The bartender recognized her, who didn't these days, but respected that she wasn't looking to be fawned over. So he gave her the drink and went about his business.
"I can't believe it. If it isn't perfect onna!" was the slightly slurred response in her right ear. She turned to see Wufei. He sat down at the stool next to hers. "Why aren't you off chasing perfect soldier?" he smiled.
"Wufei, please leave me alone. I don't feel up to a fight right now," she sighed. "I'm so tired of fighting these days."
Wufei was actually a little stunned. "What's wrong with you?"
"Just tired of being the most loved and most reviled person in the world that's all."
"You mean by Yuy?"
"By everyone," she said while trying not to cry. 'Crying is for the weak. I can never be weak again.'
"Not everyone," said Wufei now completely sober. "Through you peace was brought to earth and space."
"Yes, and in exchange I'm destined to always be alone. Loved as an ideal of peace, hated as being an obsessed, self-centered bitch," she sighed while ordering another drink.
That night Wufei stayed by her side making sure she didn't get too drunk. He took her into his heart and bed that night. It was the first time Relena didn't feel completely alone. They were pretty much inseparable from that point on. Lately that had changed. She wasn't sure what caused the change. Suddenly Wufei acted like he couldn't stand being near her. 'Was that the door?' Relena closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
Wufei quietly opened the door to the bedroom. He began to strip down when stopped to look at her. In sleep, Relena was at her best. Her face would look relaxed from having the world, no make that universe lifted from her shoulders. Wufei looked closer. He saw a small scowl. 'Ah, she's not asleep.' Then he felt guilty momentarily. 'I wish I could be what she wants. But I can never be that. I'll never be Yuy.' He continued to undress and slipped into the bed. He wanted to gather her up in his arms, but he didn't. He just turned his back to her and tried to sleep.
[She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man.
.. She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Ohh...]
Wufei took Relena with him for a weekend stay at Quatre Raberba Winner's estate. He prayed she would be on her best behavior when it came to the others.
"Are you sure this is a good idea Wufei? It's not like I was part of what you pilots all went through. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable," she said.
'You mean Yuy,' was the thought floating in his head. "You were just as big a part of it all as any of us. Don't worry. If things get sticky, we'll leave okay?"
Relena nodded. Then she kissed Wufei.
Quatre greeted the couple warmly. "Wufei! And Relena it is good of you to come. Can I get you two anything?"
"No, thank you Quatre, we're fine. Hello, Trowa."
"Relena. Wufei."
Seconds later Heero and Duo arrived. "Hey guys! Did you miss us?" rang Duo's voice cheerfully. He stopped when he saw Wufei and Relena across the room holding hands. "Wufei? RELENA?!?!"
"Hello Duo. Heero," was Relena's slightly bemused response to Duo befuddled expression. She walked up to Duo and gave him a hug. That made Duo even more puzzled. Wufei had to contain the laughter he felt welling up. The look on Maxwell's face was priceless. He wished he had a camera with him.
The rest of the weekend went fine. But Wufei would quietly observe Relena. She seemed to be fine, but when she was near Heero, he could see the subtle differences. She wasn't trying to make any overtures to the steely Japanese man, but her body language was telling a different story. She wasn't flirting but she couldn't stop touching Heero. She would get this faraway look in her eye when she thought no one was looking. But Wufei was looking. That was when his attitude changed. That was when the sneaking home late began.
[Talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
Swears she'd do it, now she swears he's gone]
She really could never figure out why Wufei had changed on her. She hadn't done anything to him. She never played games. She loved him. Why couldn't he love her? Was she so unlovable? Maybe she should leave him. Maybe with her gone, he'd realize that she was what he really needed.
[She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Yeah... ]
'Well, if he can pretend nothing is wrong, so can I,' thought Relena. From that point they just went through the motions of a relationship. She thought she would see unguarded moments in Wufei's eyes where he seemed a little sad, but those moments would slip away as fast as she could see them. But it all hurt. 'What happened to the annoying bitch I used to be?'
She made the decision.
[She loved him, yeah...she don't want to leave this way
She feeds him, yeah...that's why she'll be back again
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better...man... ]
Wufei came home to find Relena with her bags packed. "What is this about, Relena?"
"Wufei, it's time for me to go. I don't want to, but I feel I have no choice."
"Choice?" spat Wufei, "Everyone has a choice."
"Why do you hate me Wufei?" she said as she finally got tired of walking on the eggshells of their relationship for the past several months.
Wufei seemed surprised by the question. "Hate you? What do you mean? I don't hate you, onna!"
"You have been distancing yourself from me for a while now. I kept hoping you'd tell me what I did to deserve it. Maybe now that I'm going, you can tell me. Please?" She said, holding back the ultimate weakness ... tears.
"You lied to me," he said simply.
"When?" she asked confused. 'When did I lie to you?'
"Everytime you said you love me. You don't. You only love Yuy. We both know that don't we?"
It was Relena's turn to look surprised. "Heero? What does he have to do with anything? I've never lied to you. I do love you, Wufei."
"That weekend at Winner's place. You couldn't take your eyes off of Heero. When we made love the passion was different. Weren't you trying to see Heero in my face instead of me? I thought we understood each other, but it was all a lie." He found he couldn't look at her. So he walked over to the window and looked out of it.
"I never said anything to Heero that ..." stammered Relena.
"I know. But I could see you still desired him," he said at a near whisper. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Relena's arms wrapped around his waist. Her head laid his shoulder blade.
"Wufei, you fool. Is that what this is about?" she sighed. "I do love Heero Yuy." She felt Wufei's body tense up. "But I love him as anyone would love their first major crush."
"Crush, huh?" Wufei said skeptically.
"I thought about that a lot during that weekend. Heero and I met under extreme circumstances. Maybe because the situation was so tense, I felt that what I had with Heero was love. But in reality, it was a childish love. I didn't learn about real love until I met you, Chang Wufei." She gently turned Wufei away from the window so he could face her.
"With you, I never feel alone. Even by some fluke of fate if Heero and I ever really got together, I don't think I could say the same thing. In fact, I know I couldn't."
Wufei tried to turn away, but Relena wouldn't let him. She grabbed his face in her hands and looked into his eyes.
"When I'm with you I don't get the sense that you are looking at me as Relena, minister for world peace, or Relena, former queen of the world. I sense that you look at me and see Relena, the lost child forced to play grown-up for the sake of the world. Because you are Chang Wufei, a lost child forced to play grown-up for the sake of your colony and ultimately the world."
"Lost children, huh?" Wufei said gently, trying not to let the tears he wants to let fall escape.
"Yes. But children who turned out very nicely, if I say so myself" she smiled letting her tears fall. Wufei embraced her tightly, letting his own tears fall. "Wo ai ni, Chang Wufei."
"Ai shiteru, Relena Peacecraft Darlian. Still planning to walk out the door?"
Relena stared deeply into the onyx eyes that captured her heart long ago. "Still planning to treat me like a doormat?"
Wufei looked back just as deeply into her blue eyes, "No."
Relena smiled. She gave Wufei a deep, soulful kiss and sighed, "Want to help me unpack?"
Owari
So, whadda think?
(:./babaca/better)
