Title: Rivals
Author: Lanjelin
Notes: Hi again, I know I've been gone for a while now... RL sort of crashed down
on me, heh.. But I have now finished part 5 of Rivals, and I have already
written the first third of part six. In the mean time, here is part 4 and 5.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters in it. They
belong to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu agency. I am not making any money from
this.
Pairing: Er... You will see! It has a little 4+3 too.
Notes: yaoi. TWT.(Timeline? What's That?) OOC-ness from Heero, well from
them all really, but I think he is the worst...
Wufei waited until Heero had left the room, and then sat down on the couch again. He knew he had to think things through carefully so as not to confuse things even more. He smiled self-mockingly. As if that was possible! Then he became serious again. He needed to be sure of his feelings... and of what to do. Today he had seen a side of Heero he never even suspected the stone-faced Wing pilot had. How would this interfere with Wufei's own plans with Duo? He had known for a while that Heero too desired the beautiful American, but he had not known the depths of those feelings until tonight. He could no longer dismiss them as... he sighed. As lesser than his own. He had seen it in the other boy's eyes, and he could not ignore it, that would not be honourable.
Resolved, he got up and headed for his room. He had sent Heero after the fleeing Duo... But had that been such a good idea? What if... But now was not the time for that. What was done was done, and tomorrow he would know the result of tonight's confusion.
When he got to his room, he locked the door before lying down on the bed. He had the night to solve this... He made sure he was in a comfortable position, and then he closed his eyes and started to empty his mind of everything except for what was important for this situation. Tomorrow things would be clearer.
Heero hurried to Duo's room, eager to set things straight. He doubted that Wufei had been right about Duo hiding his true feelings... But there was always a possibility of course. Hn. Wufei had sure been acting strange. Letting Heero be the one to search for Duo, something akin to /understanding/ in his eyes! But how could he know... How could anyone even begin to realise how it was to have feelings you thought was dead awakening?
It had started with Relena. When he had gazed into those wide innocent eyes an almost buried memory of an equally innocent stare had stirred within him. Even though he had not realised it at first, his subconscious had made it impossible for him to once again replace that childlike trust with the empty stare of death.
This had been the first crack in the supposedly indestructible armour around his soul. Others had appeared, small and insignificant at first, but slowly growing, until he could no longer stop what was happening.
He had once again learned how to feel... But he was still unable to express them, and so he had kept his silence... Hoping for a miracle.
When he finally reached Duo's room he hesitated. /Something/ had happened all right... Not what he would call a miracle, but it had nevertheless forced him to act.
He lifted a hand to knock, and was surprised to see it tremble. He curled his lips. Hn. So he was still afraid. But this was something he had to do, and maybe, just maybe, he would gain more than he had dared to hope for... so he knocked.
When he did not receive an answer he opened the door and stepped inside. A quick look around revealed a deserted room with no sign of Duo. It looked as if he had not been there since he left for the mission... But then where had he gone? He had no reason to go anywhere but to his room, after missions all one really wanted was to sleep... But he might have been hungry, or something. Heero decided to search the small house.
On his way through the rooms he pondered how to tell Duo what he felt. That area of human interaction was somewhat new to him, and he had no idea how these things normally was done. Should he just tell him straight out? Or try to find out what Duo felt first?
Whatever his decision would be, he would not have to make it now, since the rest of the house was as empty of braided Gundam pilots as the room Duo was supposed to sleep in had been.
So... Suppose Wufei had been right? Duo must have believed that he had interrupted something entirely different... Heero blushed slightly and shook the mental image. But... such a reaction could mean that Duo could have feelings for one of them, and that thought brought a little hope. Just as long as it was not Wufei. It could be; it was more likely than Duo having feelings for /him/.
Despite his bold words earlier, Heero strongly doubted that Duo would have stronger feeling than friendship for him. What he had said to Wufei had sprung from fierce jealousy and an unexpectedly strong fear of loosing Duo. And deep down he knew that even if Wufei was not exactly social, he knew how to act in these sorts of situations... He had not, like Heero, been brought up in a world totally devoid of normal relationships.
He sighed. All this was true, and he knew it. But right now he had to find Duo, and standing here torturing himself would not help him do it. Besides, one should never make assumptions without knowing all the facts... like Duo had done. And he had been so wrong...
This thought got Heero in a little better mood, and he began to think of Duo's options. Out here he did not have too many, and if he had been upset... Then he would have gone to the one place where he felt safe and sheltered. Heero smirked. Deathscythe. Then he became serious again. Duo was the best of them when it came to hiding, and that included camouflaging his Gundam. Frowning he realised that he would have to track Duo in the dark.
He muttered a curse under his breath. It would take time, but what choice did he have? He had reached the front door by now, and gave it a hard glare as if doing that would make Duo return. Then he snorted. He would take the time, this was important. He had a communication unit with him in case a mission came up. Determined he walked out the door and into the night.
Gently Trowa shook the relaxed form of his blonde partner sleeping on the seat next to him.
"We have arrived", he said and stepped out of the car he had parked inside the garage a couple of hundred meters from the house.
"Huh? What... I fell asleep?" Quatre said, blinking eyes heavy from sleep. "I am so sorry you had to drive all the way, Trowa. I should have driven at least halfway."
"You needed the rest", came the simple answer.
"No more than you, and now you must be exhausted!"
Trowa just gave him an unreadable look and headed for the house. There was not much he could do for the boy who unknowingly held his heart, but whenever an opportunity presented itself he took it. It was, after all, the only way he could express his feelings.
Quatre smiled tiredly at the unspoken concern that he was sure no one else could have seen, and followed. He was still feeling as a sleepwalker; the drive from where they had hidden their Gundam's was not that long, and they had gone without sleep for a couple of days.
As they neared the house they saw the front door open and a figure slip out. From the way he was moving...
"Heero!" Quatre called, "Where are you going? A mission?"
Heero had only walked a few meters from the door, and could not pretend that he had not heard.
"Just going to talk to Duo", he said.
"He is not in the house?"
"He's with Deathscythe", Heero answered, and left.
Quatre just smiled slightly. Heero sure did not like to waste words! And there was something else too... He thought about it, and when he and Trowa reached the room they shared he asked the other boy what he thought.
"Trowa, did you notice anything strange with Heero?" he asked and yawned. He really needed to sleep now, he could hardly think straight.
"Do you mean the fact that he was very eager to get away from us without telling /why/ he wanted to speak to Duo?" Trowa said as he removed his clothes for bed, Quatre sneaking admiring looks.
"Yes, you are right, that is what it was! I wonder why though... Do you think something happened tonight?"
"Whatever it was resulted in misery I believe", Trowa said unexpectedly from his bed which he had now lay himself in, covers drawn up over his shoulders.
Quatre, undressing and folding his clothes on a chair, turned around, surprised.
"Why do you think that?"
"That is what happens when you let your feelings show... someone will betray you." Trowa knew that he should not be saying this, it revealed too much of himself and hurt Quatre... the two things he most wanted to prevent. But he was so tired, both in body and mind, and he knew Quatre was too. Perhaps this would all be forgotten in the morning.
Quatre looked at Trowa's turned back with sadness in his eyes.
"Do you really think that will happen?" he asked, and he was no longer referring to Heero and Duo.
Trowa turned and widened his eyes slightly when he saw that Quatre was standing right next to his bed.
" ...No, I... " He did not know what to say. He did not think that Quatre would betray him, it was just... He just could not bring himself to...
"I'm sorry Quatre", was all he could say.
Quatre kneeled beside the bed and hesitantly took Trowa's hand.
"It's all right Trowa, I know this is difficult for you... and I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do. But I want you to know that I care for you, that I... I love you. And that will not change. I will never betray you Trowa. I will never try to take what you don't want to give.
With those words he staggered over to his own bed, wondering if he just made the biggest mistake of his life. He was so exhausted he fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, leaving a thoroughly shook up Heavyarms pilot to stare with wide eyes into the twilight of the room.
Swearing quite loudly, Heero made his way through the thick undergrowth of the forest. He had been searching for Duo's tracks for over two hours before he had finally succeeded in finding them. Now he was very careful not to take his eyes off of it, even though it meant travelling through some of the thorniest undergrowth the had ever encountered. After an incident where he had nearly lost his flashlight he was also moving very slowly. He would be able to make his way back without it, but he needed it to follow Duo's tracks.
Suddenly the forest gave way to a clearing, and Heero found himself staring up at Duo's black partner. He really had to admire the camouflaging abilities of this Gundam. It did not even need covering! With the cloaking activated it seemed to float together with the background.
Heero knew that he had been detected long before he entered the clearing, so he calmly waited to be acknowledged. He did not have to wait long. With a soft humming sound Deathscythe's hatch opened, emitting a warm light. Recognising it as an invitation, he quickly climbed up.
Duo had been sleeping when he felt himself being pulled away from that soft comforting darkness. As always when he slept in Deathscythe he knew exactly where he was. The disorientation he felt when waking up at various schools and safehouses was absent here. This was as close as he could come to a home in this war.
Blinking he looked at the monitors to find out what had woken him up, and saw Heero enter the clearing. For a moment he could not decide what to do. What was he doing here? Then he shook himself. He could not just let Heero stand there; he had better let him in. So he opened the hatch and then went back to his previous position on the floor. He was too tired, both in body and mind, to do anything else.
Heero quietly entered the cockpit. Before saying anything he took a moment to look at the boy laying on the floor, eyes closed as if asleep. Now that he had finally found him, he had no idea how to start, no idea what to say at all. He knew what he /had/ to say, but he could not just blurt out that he and Wufei were not together. He had learned some things from spending time with the other pilots, and from the schools he had been enrolled in on missions. Duo would think he was crazy! Well, all right, crazier. He should approach the subject carefully... But subtlety was not his thing damn it! Then Duo solved the problem by speaking first.
"So, why're you here? Came to kill me for interrupting?"
Heero winced. But then he realised Duo must have been joking. At least he hoped so... He did not want Duo to see him as nothing more than a merciless killer, because that would mean that he had no chances whatsoever with the lovely Shinigami. And he sure did not want Duo to think he was involved with anyone else! How the hell could he have misinterpreted the situation so gravely?
"Hn. Baka." he started, but then realised that that probably was the wrong way to go. He tried again.
"It was for the best. One more moment and we would have been rolling around on the floor."
At this comment Duo squeezed his eyes even tighter shut and curled up in a ball. He did not care what Heero made out of that. He was so tired... 'I so did not need to hear that' he thought.
'Damn it, now what did I say?' Heero thought, confused.
"Heero, I just got back from a mission, and I'm really tired", Duo said. "I'm not in the mood to hear about the finer details in yours and Wufei's relationship", he mumbled, pretending to be drifting off. In reality, that statement had chased away all possibilities of sleep.
Heero just stared at him in astonishment. 'All right,' he thought, 'I'll just have to find some words he can't misinterpret. '
"There is nothing like that between Wufei and me. We were having an argument that was beginning to get out of hand."
At these words Duo's eyes flew open, and he felt a spark of hope light up inside of him. But now he really wanted to know what had happened between the other two pilots. Slowly, he pulled himself up in a sitting position, finally leaving room for Heero on the floor. The Japanese boy sat down.
"So then, Heero, why /did/ you come here? It must be important. I didn't try to make it easy to find me."
Heero debated with himself. He had been observing Duo closely during the conversation, and had noticed that something was really bothering the braided boy. Finally he decided to take the safest way. And be /very/ clear about what he was saying! Who knows how Duo might twist his words otherwise?
"You love Wufei, don't you?" he finally said.
Duo's eyes widened at the unexpected question. And what lay beneath... Duo knew about people. He had all his life lived with a lot of friends, both casual and those who were like family. He knew about these sorts of questions... But he could not be sure, of course. Still, something told him that tonight was a good night to let go of at least some of his secrets.
"I do", he answered calmly, and because he was looking for it, he saw the flash of pain, quickly hidden, in Heero's eyes.
"Then you should tell him", the Wing pilot said. Inside he felt like dying. All his worst fears had been true... He started to leave. There was no longer any reasons for him to be here, or even to be around the other pilots. He had only done that to be close to Duo, missions always came to him personally, and even if they sometimes meant working together with the others, there was no reason they could not meet at the site of the mission. He just could not stay and see things develop between Duo and Wufei.
"I can't".
That stopped Heero in his tracks.
"Why not?" he shot back angrily. "If it's because you think he won't return your feelings... "
"No, it's not that", Duo quickly interrupted.
"What then?"
Duo gave the other boy an amused look.
"Heero, you have known me for a while now, and you know that I'm not exactly the shy type. If I want to find out if someone likes me, I usually have no problems. But what if he returns my feelings? Then I would have to tell him... " There he stopped, hesitating. Should he?
Heero was now sitting on the floor, facing Duo again. He was curious. Was Duo having some kind of problems? Even if Duo did not love him, he still wanted to make him happy, and if there was anything he could do...
"Tell him what, Duo?" he asked softly.
"That I... " Duo answered and looked Heero straight in the eyes, "love you, Heero."
Heero gasped in surprise.
"You... you... What?" he managed weakly.
"Yeah... it's true. How do you think he would take /that/? And you? If you had had any feelings for me... " He sighed. "This is a mess. I couldn't tell any of you about this."
Heero barely heard him. The only thing that was clear to him right then was this one fact: Duo loved him. He hesitantly reached out and lightly touched Duo's cheek, marvelling at the smooth skin.
"Duo, I... I feel the same", he murmured, angry with himself that he could not be more eloquent in expressing his feelings, or at least say the words properly.
Duo quickly looked up when he felt the gentle touch, and when he heard the softly spoken words, his eyes widened with shock and delight. Even though Heero's behaviour had given him some hope, he had not been expecting this.
He took the hand caressing him and kissed the palm, smiling at Heero's sharp intake of breath. Heero came closer, and Duo pulled him close so that he was resting his head on Duo's chest. Then the braided boy asked quietly:
"But you know how I feel about Wufei... Doesn't that bother you at all?"
Unbidden, the heated dream he had had about Duo and Wufei rose in Hero's mind. He had almost forgotten that... it had made him so angry! But not until he had woken up... And he had still been aroused.
Duo felt Heero tense.
"Heero? I understand if you can't accept it. That was what I was expecting anyway, and... "
"Do you love him more?" Heero interrupted.
Duo smiled.
"No", was the simple answer.
Heero relaxed again, winding his hands tighter around Duo. This felt so good... And it gave him a taste of what was to come. But something did not let him loose himself completely in his newfound bliss. He sighed. Wufei. He knew that Wufei had strong feelings for Duo... maybe even as strong as his own, he reluctantly admitted. And Wufei had let him go and look for Duo.
An odd sense of obligation filled Heero, and he decided to repay the Shenlong pilot.
"You should talk to Wufei", he said.
"What do you mean?" Duo mumbled. Now he really was starting to fall asleep. He had not gotten much sleep on his mission, and when he had gotten back things had been... confusing.
"Just promise you'll talk to him."
That would have to be enough, Heero though. There was no way he was going to make it any easier than he had had it himself.
"But how do you think he'll react?"
"How should I know?" Heero replied, not bothering to tell Duo of Wufei's feelings. That had not been the question after all, and he really did not know how Wufei would react to the fact that Duo loves them both.
He smirked sleepily. With a little luck, he could have Duo all to himself. Then he frowned. Why did that make him feel... uneasy? It must be because he did not want Duo to be hurt. Yeah... that was it... wasn't it?
Duo relaxed, drifting off to sleep with Heero in his arms. For a while he could feel content, holing the one he loves in his arms... He smiled wryly. Or at least /one/ of his loves. He knew that he would have to solve things with Wufei, but that could wait until the morning. For now he was at peace.
End Part 4
Lanjelin
Please send comments to: lanjelin__@hotmail.com
