01-Nov-2003
Title: Meeting Beatrice
Author: Sol (archived as Zefyr on FF & MM)
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Pairings: 1+R (past), 1+2, 3+4...
Rated: PG or PG-13 for mild cussing (maybe).
Warnings: Silliness and fun, mostly at the expense of two canon characters.
Archiving: Sure, just write me at zefyr@hereticstudios.com
Critiques: Always welcome, especially constructive.
Disclaimer: I just like to take them out and play with them. I promise to put them back where I found them.
Spoilers: Takes place 3 years after EW, and may reference some events/past history.
Quatre and Trowa were enjoying the Chinese lights strung across the house's grand deck. Trowa was lying in the hammock, his black velvet mask pushed up to his forehead. Quatre lay on one of the deck hairs, his blue silk shirt open to the waist, his feather-dressed mask covering half his face. Relena joined them, a mask in her hand, followed by Heero. Quatre glanced up and waved them over, amused to see Heero was fidgeting slightly with the peacock mask Relena had insisted he wear.
"Is everyone enjoying themselves?" The blond shifted over, making room for Relena on the end of the deck chair. Heero leaned against the railing, staring out at the ocean.
"I think so," the young woman replied, shrugging. "Haven't seen Dorothy or her henchmen, though. Good riddance."
"Relena," Quatre sighed. "Go easy on her. She's had as tough a time as Zechs, adjusting to peacetime."
"You mean adjusting to the fact that she didn't win," Relena snapped. She shook her head, giving her friends a rueful smile. "Sorry. Just...Dorothy gives me the creeps. Always staring at me. Too bad we can't put Dorothy's silence in Wufei's mouth, and Wufei's mouth in Dorothy's head. At least then it'd be like old times, with her lecturing me endlessly. I could deal with that. I got good at ignoring her."
"A silent Wufei," Trowa mused. "This would be better?"
"Sure," Relena replied. "Then we could enjoy his looks, and be spared his attitude."
Heero laughed softly, and settled his peacock mask in place again. "No one is ever going to please you, Relena."
"Certainly not a boy like Wufei," the girl told him. "Hell, he's not even full-grown yet. Can't even grow a beard."
"You'd rather he have a goatee?" Trowa smiled lazily at Quatre, who blinked.
"Or a beard down to his knees, with bird's nests in it?" The Arabian leaned back, pulling his mask to cover his face again. The wind was growing, and the ocean's roar dulled sounds beyond their small circle. He could see people at the other end of the deck, both the houseguests and local Preventers who'd been invited.
"That's disgusting," the young woman said, after a pause. "Anyone with a beard that long would be ancient. Not interested."
"So no beard," Trowa commented, as though ticking off a list.
"No beard, and he might as well be a girl." Relena snorted. "Well, then I could dress him in my old court apparel. At least then it wouldn't go to waste."
"You're hopeless," Heero said, dryly amused.
"We'll find you someone, eventually," Quatre said, and his tone was assured.
"Don't bother," Relena retorted, poking the blond Preventer. "I've pretty much decided I'm not the marrying kind."
"Famous last words." Trowa kicked at the deck, and let the hammock swing freely. "It happens to everyone."
"Not me. Heero, though... "
Heero flushed, suddenly, and Quatre was certain it wasn't from the wind. He leaned back, his blue eyes studying the silent man's posture. Quatre glanced at Relena, who narrowed her eyes and smiled. Flipping the mask over her face, she got up and curtsied prettily to Heero, then pulled the mask down to reveal a calculating smile.
"Heero, come to think of it... if I could have a word with you in private?"
Startled, Heero nodded, letting her take his hand and lead him down to the far end of the deck.
A tall man approached the group, watching Relena leave with Heero. His black shirt billowed in the breeze and an elaborate sequined mask covering most of his face. His hair was pulled back, but a few silvery strands were caught on his shoulders as the wind whipped them around. He grinned, and the Chinese lanterns bobbed next to him as he prodding them, chuckling.
"Thanks, Quatre," he said. "I'm not sure I'm really the right person to talk to Heero about this."
"Anytime, handsome stranger," Quatre replied, laughing, recognizing Zechs immediately. He tilted his head, watching Relena and Heero speaking, their heads together, away from the rest of the boisterous party. Trowa smiled, reaching out to clasp hands quickly with Quatre. Zechs raised his eyebrows.
"You think it's working?" Zechs' voice was a little nervous. "I had enough trouble proposing, myself."
"Which is why I gave up on waiting and proposed first," a woman's voice came from behind him. The two watching Preventers laughed to see Zechs jump, the set of his mouth a little guilty beneath the mask. Noin poked her head around Zechs' shoulder and grinned.
Inside the house, the lights were low in the kitchen, and the outside scene was brightly lit. Duo fussed with his mask, trying to see through the holes to open the next bottle of wine. He didn't normally drink, but this was a special occasion, he figured. The feathers brushed the jacket's collar, and he wriggled a little, trying to push the sleeves up as he wrestled with the corkscrew. He'd gotten chilly, and Wufei had loaned him his Preventers' jacket in return for bringing out more wine.
Heavy footsteps sounded behind Duo, and he looked up to see one of the other guests entering the kitchen. The man was taller, with broad shoulders, and wearing a sequined mask that looked like the drama masks, half-sad, half-happy. Behind him, Duo could see a reflection in the microwave of his own white-feathered owl mask.
"The extra beers are in the fridge?" The man moved past Duo when the Preventer nodded, and opened the fridge. "We've almost emptied the cooler," he explained. "Hey, did you hear the news?"
"What news?" Duo finally got the corkscrew in, and was turning the thing slowly. He was trying to make sure he didn't wreck the cork on this one, like he had on the last one. Two glasses of wine, he chided himself silently, and already coordination is going down the drain.
"The princess is proposing to her personal guard," the man said.
Duo nearly dropped the bottle. "Relena's propo... " He swallowed hard. "Which guard?"
"That Gundam pilot," came the reply.
"Which one?" Duo wondered if he sounded as curt as he suddenly felt. "There's five of us, you know."
"Oh, right," the other man said, glancing at the name on Duo's borrowed jacket. "You're Chang? Well, you can relax, I've heard about you and Miss Darlian. Nope, the lucky guy looks like Heero Yuy."
"Heero?" Duo was amazed his voice sounded so level. "Don't believe it," he muttered. Stupid corkscrew, he added silently, and pounded at the handle, trying to get it straight.
"Yeah, you can see 'em right out there," the man told him, pointing out the window. "Guess two months of uninterrupted togetherness will do that," he mused cheerfully.
Startled, Duo looked up. Stepping closer, he shifted his mask in place until he could see clearly. The far end of the house's deck was right by the kitchen, and there, under the Chinese lanterns, Relena and Heero were hugging. Stunned, Duo watched as Heero picked Relena up and swung her around. He's never swung me around, Duo thought sullenly, all sounds fading from his awareness. It was a few minutes more before he realized he was alone in the kitchen again, and he looked down to see the cork pushed all the way down into the bottle.
"Fuck," he whispered.
An hour later, the party was going strong, with a number of people spreading out onto the beach to enjoy the cool evening breeze. Relena was sitting rather grumpily on the bottom step of the stairs, her mask in her lap as she stared out at the night ocean. One of the local Preventers was behind her, his hip against the railing.
"So, tell me who said this about me," she demanded
"Not going to tell you," came the cultured British voice.
"So tell me who you are," she said, trying a different approach.
"Maybe later."
She pondered that for a second. She was pretty sure it was Wufei, but she'd never known him to be able to mimic voices. And he wasn't wearing his Preventers' jacket now, while she was certain he'd been wearing it earlier. His mask covered the top half of his face, so she hadn't been able to see his eyes too well, and it had black velvet draped over the back, so she couldn't see if he had a ponytail. Relena scowled, and listened to her gut instinct. It had to be Wufei, she thought. Well, I'll teach him.
"Well, I know who said those things about me," she snapped. "It had to be Wufei."
"Don't know him," said the accented voice.
"Oh, you couldn't miss him. He's the Preventers' trick dog. Sits, heels, and stays on command of Zechs," she told him, tossing her head. "And jumps through hoops on command, too. Even wears a little ruffled collar."
"I must've missed him."
"You weren't missing a lot," she said, shrugging. "His sole purpose in being around is to come up with ways to torment everyone. Which isn't hard, since his mere existence is torture enough. Pompous, overbearing, badly educated braggart. Bores everyone to death with his idea of small talk, which is really nothing more than repeating tidbits he learned playing Trivial Pursuit. Unfortunately, he seems to be completely unaware he's memorized all the wrong answers." She pretended to sigh languidly, and twirled her mask in her hand. "Too bad he's not around, I could teach him a thing or two."
"If I meet him," the man replied smoothly, "I'll let him know you said so."
"Please do." Relena stood up. "He'll do his best to match wits, but he' s unarmed. And without his Gundam, he'll score nothing on me. But," she said, smiling brightly, "I'm thirsty. I'm going to get something to drink." She tapped the man on the shoulder with her mask, and headed back up to the deck.
Yeah, she thought smugly, I'm pretty sure that was Wufei. And if not, it'll get back around to him anyway.
Wufei scowled. He remained on the deck steps for a minute, then looked up to see an owl-headed person heading down the beach towards the sea. Pushing off from the steps, Wufei bolted the twenty yards, coming up behind Duo and throwing his arm over his friend's shoulder.
"What are you doing down here?" Wufei shoved Duo lightly, but a bit of worry hiding in his tone. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Got a little sidetracked," he muttered under his breath, then spoke louder again. "Haven't been able to find you for an hour. You never brought me a refilled glass."
"Stupid cork was busted," Duo said. His shoes were in one hand, and he shoved his mask back to rest on top of his head. "Wanted to be alone, anyway."
"You spend two months on a solitary support role on the mission from hell... and now you want to be alone?" Wufei shook his head. "But none of us could find you, to tell you the good news."
"I heard." Duo kicked at the sand. "I'm still trying to figure it out, myself."
"I thought it's what you wanted. Heero... marriage... " Wufei waited, wondering what he was missing. He tried again. "Heero... marriage... "
"Yeah. Relena proposed. I know." Duo's tone was sour.
"Not on her own behalf, damn it," Wufei responded sharply. "You can't be thinking---"
Duo raised stricken eyes to Wufei, and then dropped them.
Wufei's shoulders sagged, and he gave his friend an exasperated look. "You, Duo Maxwell, are such a fucking bonehead sometimes, you know that? Quatre told me. Relena proposed and Heero---"
"Yeah, I saw. I know already," Duo said softly. "I just want to be alone, okay?"
He turned and stalked off, away from the pounding surf. Wufei watched Duo angling away from the deck filled with laughing people, to round the house to enter by a less-used side door.
I don't get it, Wufei thought, a little distressed. His mood turned darker as he thought. Relena is a scum-sucking bottom-dwelling politician, and if she did my friends wrong, he promised himself, I want to be the first to take it out of her hide... and I'd enjoy every minute. Wufei stuck his hands in his pockets, and kicked at the sand before trudging back to the house, his shoulders slumped wearily. I'm not a pompous, overbearing braggart who bores everyone with bad small talk, he told himself. I'm not like that at all, he said, a little more firmly. It's just Relena, being nasty again.
He looked up as he neared the deck, to see Quatre coming towards him. The blond Preventers' mask was pushed back on his head, and he waved at Wufei.
"Hey, did you find Duo?"
"I did, and he's an idiot."
"What happened?" Quatre's face was the picture of bewilderment.
"He seems to think Relena proposed on her own behalf, and Heero accepted." Wufei scowled. "I told you he was an idiot."
"Did you correct him?" Quatre frowned when Wufei didn't meet his eyes. "Wufei? Where'd he go?"
"I don't know," Wufei replied. "I think he headed back into the house." His head was down, watching as he curled his toes in the cool sand.
"Noin will find him, then. She was checking the house," the blond said confidently. "Speaking of Relena, she's got a major bone to pick with you. Seems you scored a little too well on her earlier, and it got back to her. Some British guy." Quatre looked thoughtful as they climbed the steps. "I didn't know there were any British Preventers stationed in the coastal district."
"I scored on her?" Wufei was aghast. "I barely said two words, and she was all over me! That damn woman never shuts up! She just opens her mouth and it's one insult after another. It's unbearable! It was like staring down twenty mobile dolls, all over again." He tore off his mask, but didn't throw it to the ground. He caught himself in time, and just tucked it under his arm as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'd rather face twenty mobile dolls, unarmed, then deal with her for one second more."
"You're about to get the chance to test that claim," Quatre replied lightly. Jerking his head, he directed Wufei's attention, to where Trowa, Heero and Relena were leaving the large group of partiers and walking down the broad deck towards the steps. Zechs wasn't far behind them.
"Shit, Quatre," Wufei muttered. "You need a drink?"
"Nope." Quatre shook his head and smiled.
"Something to eat?"
"Not hungry."
"Anything in the house broken? I'm quite knowledgeable on fixing things, especially tasks that require my lack of party-participation for several hours. Preferably one-person jobs." Wufei backed up slightly as the four people came to a stop, arranging themselves around the two Preventers.
"Nothing broken," Quatre said.
"Then I'll go break something and then fix it," Wufei snarled, gritting his teeth as he stared at Relena's cocky smile.
"Found him," a new voice said, and the group turned to see Noin approach, her fingers hooked with Duo's.
The longhaired man's head was down, and he looked to Wufei like he'd had one glass of wine too many. Or, Wufei pondered, like he'd let himself slip back into wartime self-doubt. Idiot.
Relena stepped forward with a smile, sighing as Duo didn't meet her eyes. "Duo, you're a good friend," she said, putting her hands on Duo's cheeks, leaning forward to press her forehead against his as she whispered to him. "But you can be a little insecure sometimes. Come on," she said, a little louder. "Guess what I've got for you."
Duo raised an eyebrow, still suspicious, and looked past Relena to see Heero leaning against the railing. The ocean breeze tossed about the pilot's dark hair, and his eyes were shining in the light of the gaily-painted Chinese lanterns. Duo narrowed his eyes at Heero, and then glanced at Relena. She nodded and pushed him gently forward. Heero stepped forward to meet him.
"I thought... " Duo ducked his head, embarrassed.
"Yeah, I heard what you thought," Heero replied, putting his hands on Duo's waist and pulling the longhaired man closer. He wasn't normally one for public affection, but the night seemed to be turning out to be an exception to the rule. "You're an idiot."
Duo snorted. "Everyone keeps telling me that."
"But you're my favorite idiot," Heero continued, kissing Duo softly on the lips. "And the only idiot I'll ever want." He slipped his arms around Duo's waist, and the longhaired man melted into the gesture.
Behind them, Quatre raised his eyebrows at Trowa, who nodded with a smile. Wufei watched Duo and Heero lost in their own world, then turned to head back to the main party, a small smile playing across his lips. Noin nudged her husband, smiling as she joined Wufei. Zechs nodded absently, his eyes on Relena, who was staring out at the ocean.
"So... think you'll ever find someone?" He guided her away from the private moment between Duo and Heero.
"I don't think so," she said, and shrugged.
"I think you will," he said. "Some day."
"I doubt it," Relena said. "I don't seem to be the kind that's good for much more than being a friend, really. And even that I guess I'm not very good at, if Duo so easily misinterpreted me trying to help." She sighed, glancing over to the two men speaking too quietly to be heard.
"I think you're a better friend than you realize," Zechs said, putting his arm around his sister's shoulders. Ahead of them, Quatre and Trowa had turned around, and were watching them. Zechs looked over his shoulder to see Duo and Heero coming up behind. Quickly he kissed his sister on the cheek and gave her a quick hug. "Cheer up," he whispered.
"Yeah, sure," she muttered, giving him a quick smile. "I think I need more alcohol, first." Grinning at his immediate frown, she elbowed him and darted off, her laughter barely heard over the surf's roar.
"There's someone for her out there," Quatre assured the older Preventer.
"I just don't like seeing her lonely," Zechs said.
"I'm sure we could fix that," Duo replied as he and Heero joined them. The two stood shoulder to shoulder, their hands clasped together. The moment of public affection had passed, but both were obviously comfortable again. Duo grinned. "And if anyone could think of a way, Quatre could."
"Me?" The blond turned innocent eyes on the four men looking at him. "What did I do?"
"Just the brains of the operation," Trowa retorted smoothly. "As always."
"Come on, Quatre," Duo coaxed. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find the right person for Relena." He paused, and a strange grin flashed across his face, his old wartime 'up-to-no-good' expression. He laughed at Heero's doubtful glance and shook his head. "Relax. I left all the explosives in my apartment."
"Lovely," Zechs said, rolling his eyes.
"And while you're at it, speaking of explosives," Duo continued, in a contemplative tone, "do something about Wufei, too. Poor guy's been all alone for too long now."
"Relena," Quatre said, turning to watch the young woman laughing with several of the local Preventers. "Wufei," he murmured, seeing the Chinese man discussing something seriously with Dorothy and Noin. "I have an idea," he announced, turning to the other four men.
"That's the Quatre I like to see," Duo cried happily.
Heero raised his eyebrows. "What are you thinking?" He frowned at Duo's excited look. "On second thought, I'm not sure I want to hear this."
"No, this'll be great," Quatre said. "I think we should get Wufei and Relena to fall in love."
"That's the idea," Zechs said, a little puzzled at the way Trowa was already smiling broadly at his shorter lover. Zechs stopped, his glance flicking back and forth between the pair. "Are you suggesting what I'm thinking you're suggesting?" He paused, trying to wrap his head around the notion. "You mean... with each other?"
Heero groaned.
"Exactly," Quatre replied. "And I think I know just how to do it... "
End Part 3
(:./sol/meeting3)
