2 April 2000
Based on the song by U2
DISCLAIMER: All Gundam Wing characters are property of Sunrise, Bandai Visuals, Sotsu Agency, and Asahi TV. This work is not written for profit, but for entertainment purposes only.
**WARNING**: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE. Contains shonen-ai and graphic yaoi scenes. Do not read further if you are uncomfortable with male-male romantic and sexual relationships.
Author's Notes: With or Without You takes place in the last third of the Gundam Wing television series. It's meant to be a glimpse into Zechs' thoughts as he decides he "cannot be Treize Khushrenada's friend." (Of course, as this is yaoi fiction, "friend" means much more than military comrades.) NOTE: Treize fans, please keep in mind that this fic is from *Zechs'* p.o.v., not Treize's.
Key for punctuation:
"..." - character dialogue
/.../ - character thoughts
^...^ - song lyrics
^See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you...^
Rain fell out of a darkened sky. It hit the ornate windows with a steady drumming sound, brought to a peak now and then by gusts of wind. The young man staring out into the early evening dusk found the sounds oddly familiar and comforting.
/Seems it's always raining when I visit him lately... and that's fine... very fitting indeed for what we talk about... for what we do.../
Zechs Marquise knew that he and his dearest friend, Treize Khushrenada, were coming to a fork in the road they had traveled so long together. He sensed the danger surrounding Treize, now that Romefeller was in charge, and Tsubarov was pushing the idea of mobile dolls down everyone's throats. And, he knew that Treize himself was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the direction Dermail was taking the government.
Treize had never been one to be content with soldiering. His intelligence and ambition wouldn't let him be satisfied with a life confined to the military. He wanted - no, *expected* - that his role would be greater. So far, his desires in that area had been supremely fulfilled.
^Sleight of hand and twist of fate
In a bed of nails (he) makes me wait -
And I wait, without you
With or without you
With or without you...^
He leaned his head against the window frame and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of wind and rain. A sudden wave of desire passed through him, leaving him weak. He pressed himself against the edge of the window, the friction sending shudders through his body and vivid images through his mind.
/Ah, God - Treize... this waiting is pure hell... you won't have a chance when you get here... been too long, beloved... far too long.../
Zechs had taken off his uniform jacket and now did the same with his boots as he sat down on Treize's large bed. He laid back, arms and legs stretched out wide, his long, white-gold hair flowing across the pillows and down his shoulders. Slowly, he put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.
/Our first time... so amazing... to know that people could make each other feel those kinds of things, just by looking, and touching... and kissing... so scared... but wanting so badly for it to happen... that delicious feeling of shock when I realized he wanted me the same way I wanted him... What's happened to us, Treize? I wanted to fight this war together... guess I just didn't realize how far apart we really were - on the important things.../
There was a faint knock on the door and suddenly Treize was there, standing at the foot of the bed, the most beautiful smile Zechs had ever seen on his face.
"Milliard... you're here." His voice was soft but urgent. He removed his cloak and tossed it onto a chair as Zechs sat up on the bed. "Ohh.. look at you, my love... you're a vision... an absolute vision."
Treize reached out a gloved hand and put it under Zechs' chin. For a long moment they simply gazed into each other's eyes - something that they had done since the beginning over eight years ago, when they realized their mutual interest in each other. It always did the same thing to them; beginning with a flushing of cheeks and a quickening of pulses. Treize knelt on the bed and leaned down, his lips resting ever so lightly on Zechs'. He brushed them lightly, letting his tongue explore the inner edges of the blond man's mouth. Zechs' whimpered involuntarily and pulled Treize down to sit beside him.
^Through the storm we reach the shore
You gave it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you...^
Hands began exploring. Necks, chests, muscular arms - leaving their owners panting softly and shivering with desire. Zechs carefully unbuttoned Treize's deep blue dress uniform, and the shirt underneath, sliding them off Treize's shoulders, then leaning in to kiss the fevered skin beneath.
Treize closed his eyes and let Zechs explore with his tongue and fingertips until he couldn't take any more. His fist closed around his friend's silky blond hair and he took another kiss - this one deeper and rougher than the first. His other hand moved down the front of Zechs' shirt, opening the buttons deftly and pushing the shirt down over one of Zechs' shoulders.
"Ahhh... Dear God, Milliard... Mmmmmmm..."
He pushed the younger man down to the bed and kissed him again while his fingers trailed down Zechs' chest. He found his friend's stiff but tender nipples and moved down to suckle them. Zechs gasped and arched his back, trying to get more of the feeling, more of Treize.
/Ohh... God this feels so good...How can he still do this to me? Even the way I feel - the way he feels... why does this still have to be so good.../
"Treize? I need more. I need... ahhh, God - please... master..."
A low growling noise was coming from Treize's throat as he caught hold of Zechs' hands and pinned them over his head. It was coming so fast, and Zechs' eyes grew wide, anticipating the invasion to come. Just the thought made him wriggle with delight, causing Treize to growl again and tell him in a whisper, "Be still, pretty one... be very quiet now and let me do this..."
^With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you^
His breeches pushed down - taken off... Treize taking off his own, all the while keeping Zechs' arms pinned. Lubricant that smelled of almonds... Legs pushed up - that one moment when he wondered if Treize would really go through with it... even though he always did.
Probing - the feeling of being filled... more then he - more than anyone could take, surely...
/Ahhhhh... Treize.... beloved master - no one but you can do this to me and God, you do it, don't you... Aaaaaaaahhhh, yesss.../
Treize pushed deeply into Zechs. His eyes were closed and he almost hummed with desire as he found a rhythm. He leaned over and nuzzled the blond man's neck, whispering, "You're mine, golden angel. You always have been, since that first time, when I took this sweetness from you ... Do you remember that, Milliard? In my father's house... in front of the fire, with the rain falling outside..."
^And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away...^
"Nnnnnnnnn! Ahhh, God! Harder, master! Harder - please... Ahhhhhnnn... Ahhhhnnnn!!" It seemed endless - the waves crashing over him, sweet surrender of release...
"Oh, yes, pretty angel... give it up...give it up... give it to me... Ahh... God... so hot... so tight, Milliard... ohhhh... yes! Mine... mine... mine... mine!!!"
Treize arched his back and cried out, giving himself up to the steady pulse of his release. Milliard, his golden boy, his dearest friend and sweetest slave, was filled and claimed as his... only his.
Zechs lay panting beneath him. /It's still you, Treize - the one I want most in all the world...Dear God... why can't it all be like this? Why can't this be enough... he's so perfect... knows everything there is to know about me... why can't I just ignore the things he says... when he's talking about the planet... the future... Treize, this *is* our future... or it could be... if only you wouldn't.../
The older man nuzzled him tenderly, lips brushing lips, as they fell back down to earth.
He murmured softly in Zechs' ear, reading his thoughts like always.
"You can trust me, Milliard. You think we're too far apart... but trust me. I'll show you something better than you've ever dreamed of...Only, stay with me, my soldier... my angel..."
^My hands are tied
My body bruised, he's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose...^
Hours later, Zechs lay in the deep comfort of the bed, listening to Treize's gentle but steady breathing. /He does it so well... get's me right where he wants me - every time... How do I walk away from all this? He wants something completely different than I do from this war... I'm so tired of fighting, and he'll never get enough... Why can't he see how horrible and pointless all this killing is... That's all I think about lately... Stupid, senseless killing that will never stop.../
Out of reach from the clamour in his mind, of disillusionment and crumbling loyalty, his body glowed, fired by Treize's seemingly limitless desire, bruised and yet crying for more.
/How do I get over him? How do I get the courage to tell him I can't accept what he wants anymore? He's the most important person in my life... has been for the last 10 years... but we're getting *nowhere* with this war... just more killing and more hate... does everyone have to die before someone sees how stupid this all is... Not noble, like you seem to think it is... Treize - can't *you* see that, too.../
He leaned over, wincing a little at the tenderness his lover had caused. Treize was deeply asleep. Zechs gave him a small kiss before standing up and dressing. As he closed the last of the golden buttons, he looked over at the man who stood poised to either rule the world, or be crushed under the feet of Dermail and the rest of the Foundation.
"Do me a favor," he whispered to the sleeping man. "Don't ever let them see this side of you. If they did, they'd eat you alive..."
With that, he turned and left, not knowing when, or if, he would ever be back.
Several Weeks Later
^And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away...^
Zechs watched as Romefellar, under the command of Duke Dermail, announced the sudden elimination of Treize Khushrenada as head of OZ. He watched, in pain and confusion, as a dark future unfolded before his beloved friend... a future that he had predicted might come to pass, the last time he had been in Treize's arms.
/Treize! Not you! You've been there, at the top, since I can remember. What will I do now that your no longer there?... The world's turned upside down today, love... and you and I are sliding off into space... There's nothing... no one left for me. And still you were unrepentant - feeling that war is a noble human endeavor... and I... I can't agree with that anymore... with you... but where does that leave me?
/Oh, my master... How I wish I'd never had to leave your arms.../
^With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you^
owari
(:./kumiko/bblood27)
