Title: The Babysitter - A Day With Duo
Authors: Wufei is WHAT?!? Productions (Yoiko and Tzigane)
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Type: Humorous Fic-stuffs ~_^v
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13? Not sure.
Pairings: None, really. ^_^
Archive: Gundam Wing Addiction
C&C: Please, feel free. ^_^
Warnings: Cuteness. Gross misunderstandings and misadventures of a Duo-esque nature. Bad dog.
Disclaimers: We don't own Gundam Wing, and the Gundam Wing characters are used here without permission. This is a work of fanfiction, intended solely for entertainment purposes, and is not meant to be taken as a claim to copyright for the elements in the story which were not created by us. Also, we intend no disrespect whatsoever towards the creators and rightful owners of Gundam Wing.
Treize sighed as he watched the little blue Volkswagen -- the one bearing Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell out of town -- turn the street corner and vanish. It was going to be a long day; he could just feel it.
//My Babysitter Sense is tingling... he must be up to something already!//
Resigned to his fate worse than death -- a full day of trying to keep little Duo Maxwell out of trouble -- Treize stepped into the house and pulled the door shut.
It was quiet. Too quiet.
With a sigh, the teenager walked past the coat of arms on one wall and the suit of armor in the corner, shaking his head. Usually, the Maxwells took Duo with them to SCA events, but the Event today was only for one day and they had thought it would be safe to leave Duo with a babysitter.
Safe.
Fond as he was of Duo Maxwell, Treize couldn't honestly say he enjoyed being responsible for him. In fact, if anyone had asked him, he'd have put Duo Maxwell in the same category as he would place Relena and Mirialdo Peacecraft -- mostly because the two came as a pair. Mirialdo by himself wasn't that bad. At least he could take orders well! Together with his sister, though...
Well.
THAT was almost as much of a nightmare as Duo! The difference being, of course, that Duo was never malicious. He didn't mean to cause massive property damage or injury... it just sort of... happened.
Treize peeked into the disaster area that was Duo's bedroom, but there was no sign of the little guy. That didn't necessarily mean the boy wasn't there, of course -- the piles of junk scattered over the floor could have hidden an elephant and two football teams.
"Duo?" he asked, taking a hesitant step inside. Suddenly a pile of dirty laundry exploded on him, and he ended up in the hallway on his backside, with a giggling little boy in his lap.
"BOO!" Duo cried. "Did I scare ya? Did I? Did I? Huh? Huh?"
Treize didn't answer, other than a high-pitched whine; Duo had landed just wrong.
"I bet I scared ya!" Duo continued, oblivious.
"Duo," Treize squeaked, white-lipped.
"Yes, Mister Treize?"
"Why don't you go play outside for a little while?"
"You know, you sound funny. Kind of like Mickey Mouse!"
"Go outside!"
"Yes, sir," Duo said, wondering why Mister Treize was always so cranky. Shrugging, he thundered down the stairs. Treize didn't move until after he heard the back door slam, then he hobbled his way across the room, opened Duo's window and poked his head out.
"AND STAY IN THE YARD!"
"OKAY, MISTER TREIZE!"
Duo watched as the babysitter closed the window, then he looked around. The Maxwells' back yard had a tire swing as well as a regular swingset, a sandbox filled with toy cars and dump trucks, and a paved patio that was just perfect for hopscotch or the construction of a small city with his Outdoor Legos (not to be confused with the Indoor Legos, though both sets were battered enough to be indistinguishable). Duo's croquet set and little wading pool were stored in the shed with Mr. Maxwell's yard tools.
"Phooey," the little boy said. "There's nothing to play with."
None of the neighborhood kids were outside yet, so he scuffed his foot in the grass dejectedly. And then, it happened.
"I've got an idea!" Duo cried jubilantly.
It was a stellar idea! A wonderful, marvelous, ingenious idea! An idea that was sure to win him the admiration and envy of his friends! He'd build... a TREEHOUSE! A marvelous treehouse, with a rope ladder and a sign that said "No Gurls!" And then all the neighborhood kids would come to visit him and they'd play games and have a Secret Club with passwords and a special handshake and everything!
Why, it was positively inspired!
Unfortunately for one Duo Maxwell, there were no trees whatsoever in his back yard -- at least, no trees capable of bearing a tree house. No, no, there was a sapling here, another sapling there, and one very TALL oak tree that he'd never managed to get up in no matter how many chairs he dragged into the yard at all. He'd tried the ladder once, but...
Well.
His father hadn't been too happy about that one, so the ladder was expressly forbidden, and he'd promised. Duo Maxwell didn't tell lies. After all, no truly honorably, knightly sort of fellow would tell a lie, now would he?
It didn't matter, though; it would be easier for him to build the treehouse on one of the saplings. Then the tree would grow up, and the treehouse would be high in the ground. It would probably take about a month for the tree to get that big, but Duo was certain he could wait.
The tool shed was open, so Duo cheerfully went about gathering hammer, nails and saw. He'd have his treehouse built in no time!
Luckily, his dad kept a woodpile out behind the shed, because Duo's parents loved a good wood fire. Duo picked out a great sawed-off log and wrapped his arms around it, lugging it out to the sapling he'd decided would be worthy of his treehouse.
Treize was just settling down to watch some TV and nibble on a plate of cheese and crackers when he heard it.
CRACK!
He rushed to the back door, and yelled. Unfortunately, since his voice still hadn't quite settled (it was tough being a teenager), it came out as rather a girlish shriek.
"DUO! What are you DOING???"
Duo turned to face him and waved cheerfully. His little white shirt and pants were covered with stains and splinters of wood, and behind him, the sapling -- the cherry tree that Mrs. Maxwell had planted with her own two hands -- was bent in two, splinters rising up from its wounded trunk as a huge log held its branches to the ground.
"Hi, Mister Treize!" Duo said, grinning. "I'm making a treehouse! Wanna help?"
"NO!" Treize told him, going out to remove the log from the tree. It bounced almost halfway upright before creaking to a halt. "You can't make a treehouse, Duo Maxwell! Not in a little tree like this!!"
"Well," Duo began reasonably enough, "I can't get into the *big* tree. Dad won't let me use the ladder. How am I supposed to build a treehouse without a tree?"
Treize held back a sigh, suddenly glad that he'd brought his bottle of Tylenol with him. Somehow, he always ended up needing it at the Maxwells' house.... "You aren't going to build a treehouse, Duo."
"But..."
"No treehouse, Duo."
"But I just..."
"NO. Play in the sandbox!" Treize suggested. "Build an underground garage for your cars or something!"
Ohhh, the ideas THAT suggestion fostered! If he couldn't build a treehouse, he'd build an underground fort!! "Wow!! That's COOL! Thanks for the suggestion, Mr. Treize! You're the best!"
"Be sure to tell your parents," Treize said, one eyebrow raised slightly. "Now, can I trust you to behave?"
"Oh, yeah!" Duo said with a cheerful grin. "I'll be real good, I promise!"
He waited until Treize had gone back into the house, then trotted to the shed to get his father's shovel.
He'd at least have the entryway dug by lunch-time!
His cheese and crackers were gone.
Sighing, Treize looked at the small dog panting happily in his chair and licking its nose. He had forgotten about the Maxwells' Cocker Spaniel, Lady Gwendolyn, entirely when he'd left his little plate on the table beside the chair. His own mother disapproved of pets in the house, in general, and so they'd never had one, even though he'd spent years begging her for a cat.
Now... "Bad Lady Gwendolyn!" he declared, picking up the plate that had been licked more than clean. "Bad, bad, bad!" The little dog just panted happily, however, almost grinning up at him.
Apparently, the Maxwells were no better at instilling discipline in their dog than they were in Duo -- not that it surprised Treize at all. "Come on," he sighed. "Let's go wash this up, Lady Gwendolyn."
Hey, Duo! What'th that you're doing?"
"Hi, guys!" Duo said, looking up from his digging to see Quatre and Trowa standing at the gate. "Come on in!"
"What awe you doing?" Trowa echoed, peering over the gate at the sizeable hole in the Maxwells' back yard. "Do youw pawents know you'we digging?"
"Mister Treize is babysitting, and he said it was okay. I'm gonna make an underground fort! Wanna help?"
"I'll go get my Mommy'th garden thpade!" Quatre said, and skipped off towards his house.
"Awe you suwe it's okay?" Trowa asked suspiciously.
"Yeah! Mister Treize even thought up the idea!"
"That's okay, then. I think my dad's got a shovew I can use. I'ww be wight back!"
"Okay!" Duo declared happily, doing a little dance before going back to digging. It wasn't long before Quatre and Trowa were back, both with bright smiles and garden tools.
"I thaw my mommy's thpade right out in the flower bedth!" Quatre declared happily. "It wath EATHY!"
Trowa nodded. "And Dad had his shovew in the gawden shed! How big shouwd we dig the howe, Duo?"
The little boy with the long hair contemplated the matter. "Oh, 'bout big enough to put a club in! So's we can have an all-boy meeting and leave that cootie-carrier Relena out!"
"Sounds wike a pwan to me," Trowa said, watching intently as Duo marked out an area four feet by four feet in the middle of the back yard's steep slope.
"See, we dig the entrance-way this big around," Duo explained. "Then we dig a tunnel down into the hill, and we make a big room under the ground. It'll be cool!"
"That'th gonna be a lot of work," Quatre pointed out.
"Yeah, but just think how cool it'll be to have an underground fort!" Duo exclaimed, and the other boys were drawn in by his enthusiasm. They started digging eagerly, tossing clumps of dirt any which way. They'd been working for a few minutes when the next door neighbor's back door opened, and Heero Yuy appeared, scowling as his mother gently pushed him out onto the porch.
"I want to finish my experiment," the young scientist-in-training said poutily.
"Heero, you are not going to spend the entire day indoors! Now, get out there and get some fresh air!" Mrs. Yuy sounded exasperated; Duo and his digging crew studiously ignored the little scene playing out behind their backs.
"What am I supposed to do out here?"
"As long as it doesn't involve fire or acids, I really don't care. Go play," his mother said. Heero glared poisonously at the door as it closed behind her.
"No fair," he said sulkily. Eventually, he gave up glaring at the door and turned around. The digging crew had given up all pretense of disinterest.
"Hey, Heero! Wanna help us?" Duo called. "We're digging an underground fort!"
"You have authorization to dig a fort?" Heero asked, astonished.
"Yeah! Mister Treize thought it up!"
"I'll be right over," Heero said, and trotted off to his father's garden shed to get the big snow shovel. So it wasn't as cool as bunsen burners and hydrochloric acid -- it still looked like fun!
It was quiet... too quiet. Treize was just sitting down with a new plate of cheese and crackers (and keeping a wary eye on Lady Gwendolyn, as well) when there was a knock at the back door.
"You stay," he said, pointing at the dog and then turning to open the door. He was greeted with the sight of four very grubby little boys.
"We're hungry, Mister Treize," Duo said cheerfully. "Making a fort's hard work. Can we have peanut-butter sandwiches?"
"And jelly," Heero piped up.
"Peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches?" Duo amended, grinning widely. That was when Treize noticed the shovels in their grubby little hands.
That was when he noticed the hole in the back yard.
"DUO! What do you think you're DOING???"
"Making a fort, like you said," Duo replied, bright eyes peering around Treize into the room behind him. "Hey, you can't let Lady Gwendolyn eat cheese. She'll get sick."
"AAARGH!!!"
A few hours later, when Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell returned home, they found a very distraught and frazzled Treize, a sick-but-happy Cocker Spaniel and a mournful Duo (who hadn't meant to do anything wrong, honest! And was it his fault if nobody told him not to do it???), whose friends had made themselves scarce as soon as they saw Treize's reaction to the fort-in-progress.
The Maxwells also discovered, after Treize had quickly collected his fee and beat a hasty retreat, that there was a partially filled-in hole in the backyard (most of the dirt had been scattered, and it was impossible to scrape enough together to completely replace what had been dug up).
Mrs. Maxwell's cherry sapling stood crookedly, braced by a few stout planks and the entire box of bandages from the family's First Aid kit.
"I didn't mean to hurt it," Duo sniffled, much more concerned about the sapling than about the hole in the yard.
"Well, I'm sure it'll heal up just fine, dear," his mother said.
"Really?"
"Really. And the cherries will be just as sweet as you are," Mrs. Maxwell said, scooping up her son and cuddling him.
"So you're not mad? Mr. Treize said you would be mad."
"I'm not mad at all, dear."
"Cool! Can Mr. Treize babysit me again tomorrow?"
On the opposite side of town, Treize sneezed, and then shuddered in sudden, nameless horror.
~owari~
^_^
(:./yoiko/wiwp1)
