24 Aug 2000
Category: Angsty romance
Pairings: 2xR/Rx2; here comes 2x1!
Disclaimers: I don't own these delightful people (Sunrise and the
Sotsu Agency do, and Bandai has a license to pass them around), nor
do I intend to infringe upon the rights of their owners.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Oh, the angst. References to shounen-ai.
Feedback: Always welcome!
<> denotes thoughts.
Relena knew it as soon as the call came through from her chief investigator; Val looked triumphant, for once, instead of morose. She knew that he had recently come across a lead on Heero's whereabouts, a shred of a paper trail that even a perfect soldier might have overlooked. It had been a long shot, but that had never stopped her staff from following every shadow of a possibility. At long last, it seemed, they had succeeded.
"Where?"
Val looked surprised; the Minister didn't seem especially happy. "Some sort of supply base, either on or near Venus. I couldn't really tell from the initial transmission, but my source will be sending the exact location over a secure datalink later today. I'll forward it to you. He's been there for almost two years, so it doesn't seem likely that he'll be moving on any time soon."
"Unless he finds out that we've tracked him."
"Our trail's pretty well covered. Even if he hacks us, all he'll find is an employment agency looking for pilots."
"Is that what he's been doing?"
"Mm-hm. Cargo shuttles. Seems to be pretty low on their payroll. They must not know who he is."
"Good job, Valentine. Get that data to me the minute it comes in. Oh, and Val?"
"Yes?"
"Who made the trace?"
"Callander."
"She gets the bonus, of course. A million credits. Make sure Nina has the account information."
"Will do. We live to serve, Minister."
The connection broken, she sat staring at the screen for a long moment. She had always thought she knew how she would feel, what she would do when this day finally came. And the rush of exhilaration had been there, the dizzy lurch at the thought that he was found, finally found--that she could see him again.
But behind that delight, and almost overpowering it, came the realization that things were not as simple as they had been three years before. Then, her life had still been sharpened to a fine glowing point of purpose: to love Heero Yuy. His disappearance hadn't blunted that purpose, only made its sharpness more painful.
It had been three years, though. Two and a half of those spent with Duo. Now, things had gotten all muddled--deciding what to do was like slogging through mire. She found herself mourning for the never-to-be-experienced moment of unadulterated joy that she had always thought she would feel when she got that call.
Life was never without its ironies--not so very long ago, she would have gladly given everything she had to find Heero Yuy. Somehow, she had a feeling she was about to do just that.
She got up, mentally gathering her reserves. There was a lot to do, and not much time; Duo would be home from the briefing in only a few hours.
When the datalink began to chatter an hour later with the promised information, she paused to collect the printout before turning to her secretary. "The shuttle?"
Nina smiled indulgently, shaking her head. "Same as the last time you asked me, three minutes ago. It's done refueling, so it's on standby. The clearances you requested came in half an hour ago-- there's an open lift-off window in two hours, and another in twelve. And immigration says you're good to go."
Relena nodded briskly. "Right. Well. I have to go pack. If Duo comes through the office first, send him up. And Nina--don't tell him, okay? Let me."
Nina watched her go, still puzzled. The Minister's cheerfulness didn't entirely conceal a certain blankness, an indefinable air of expectancy. Which made sense--this was a big day for the boss, what with the legendary prodigal magical mystery man finally found. Both Relena and Duo would probably be ecstatic to see their oldest friend. But somehow, that anticipation had not looked entirely happy.
Relena was standing over an open suitcase when the door to his suite banged open.
"Lena? Hellooo-oo? Nina said--" He wandered from the sitting room to his bedroom, dumping his bag and coat on a chair. "There you are. Nina said you were up here. You weren't in your room, so I thought I'd check in here."
He slung his arms around her waist, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "And here I am, no thanks to an extremely boring bunch of extremely boring scientists who have been trying their best to make my head explode with formulas for banned weapons technologies. Always was better at lighting the fuses than designing the bombs, myself."
Looking over her shoulder, he spotted the suitcase.
"Another trip? You send me to another one of those briefings, Minister Peacecraft, and I'm going to lock my bedroom door for a solid week. Okay, maybe a day. Ten minutes, and I'm not kidding."
She smiled in spite of herself. "Duo. Hush."
"Hushing. What is it?"
"I heard from Val."
He knew. He knew as soon as she named the investigator--and the terrible joy in his eyes hollowed out her heart until she was all vacuum inside. Just empty space, no way to stop the plummeting. Well. She had been making the right plans, then.
"Where? When did you find out? When do we go?" He was practically dancing, flipping through what she had already packed and tossing more things from dresser to bed.
"Venus, this afternoon, and you leave in half an hour."
"But--" He finally ground to a halt, uneasy. "Aren't you coming?"
"We can't all just descend on him en masse, can we? Besides, I'd be afraid to appear there unannounced. You've got the combat training-- you go."
"Come on. You really think--?"
"I do. Besides, you'll bring him back, right?"
"I will. Jesus, if I have to stuff him in a suitcase, I will. Are you sure? Really sure?"
Of course she was sure. It was just that her chest felt like it was full of broken glass, the jagged edges causing pain with every breath. She concentrated on the pattern--shouldn't it be familiar? --in, then out. And again. She could remember how to do this.
"You'd better hurry. The shuttle's cleared for departure soon, and you don't know what we went through to get that window."
Apparently even he could hear the thin breaking sound those shards made every time she tried to breathe. He hugged her close, then drew back to search her eyes. "Lena. Listen to me. I'll be back. Just a little while, and we'll both be back."
She nodded, though it was hard to hear him over the cold wind rushing in her ears. She couldn't look at him, mustn't--if she looked at that heartbreakingly beautiful face even once, she would never let him go.
At last, he took off down the hallway at a near-run. She leaned against the closed door, both hands clamped over her mouth to make sure she could stifle the sobs she knew were coming. When she finally heard the buzz of his motorcycle grow distant, heading down the long drive toward the spaceport road, she stepped very carefully away from the door. She let herself droop for one moment more, looking around Duo's empty room, then straightened her back--vertebra by vertebra--until she stood very, very straight. She closed the door very gently behind her as she went out.
Go, but in going, stiffen up my back
To meet the yelping of the mustering years--
Dim, trotting shapes that seldom will attack
Two with a light who match their steps and sing;
To one alone and lost, another thing.
--Edna St. Vincent Millay, from Sonnet xxxix of Fatal Interview (1931).
End of Part 5.
(:./lilias/complicated5)
