Title: Death & the Phoenix
Author: Ebonydove
Pairings: 1+2/2+1, 3+4/4+3
Warnings: Possible episode spoilers, liberal use of GW characters,
OOC, yaoi, angst, violence, language, fluff... the usual.
Author's Notes: This takes place during the series. However, I am not following the plot of
the actual show, or EW. Some of the characters may be out of their ordinary
roles. Feedback is certainly appreciated, seeing that this is my first
death-like fic.
Disclaimer: The characters are owned by those with higher earning
potential than me, so follow the money baby! Lord knows, none is being made here.
Duo landed with furious noise in the small hanger. After shutting down everything and leaving Deathscythe in stealth mode, Duo hopped down from the cockpit and made his way over to the group of men watching his decent. He was suddenly at ease, more than he had been in weeks.
"Hey man... still wrecking havoc on the Earth?" A big guy hollered over to him as he crossed the bay.
"Yeah, you know me, death and destruction, nothin' but the finest." His eyes rested on Howard who had just come through the door on the far side of the bay. "Howard, good to see ya man."
"Hey, kid what cha doin' here? I didn't receive word you'd be in the area." Howard looked the boy over, his smile turning into a deep frown. "You look like shit, kid."
"Thanks, good to see ya too." Duo sat down on a chair and swung his braid over his shoulder. Howard gave the Sweepers 'a look' and they quickly disappeared from the bay.
"So what brings you to my end of the pond?" Howard pulled up another chair and watched Duo's eyes.
Now that the others had left the room, Duo dropped the cheerful mask and looked at Howard with the sad eyes of a young man who had grown too fast, living too hard. "Shinigami needs a check up." Duo smiled again and watched Howard stand up and cross over to the black Gundam.
Howard studied the contours of the mecha for a few minutes; his back turned away from the young man. "Bullshit, kid. What's going on? Do the others know where you are?"
"Naw. I needed some air. It's been pretty quiet, so I thought I'd take a spin around he world." Duo was uncommonly quiet, his downcast eyes studying the floor as he listened to Howard check out his Gundam.
"You takin' your meds?" Howard glanced over and gave him a stern look.
"It's not the depression... exactly."
"So you are, or you're not?" Howard stood in front of the pilot and watched him for a moment, until Duo finally raised his eyes and made contact with his, behind dark shades.
"Everyday." Duo huffed.
"Good. Then what's with the melodrama?"
"When I went to the University Medical Center to pick up my drugs, they told me I was overdo for my monthly physical. I hate that you made arrangements for me Howard, however protected they are. It's hard enough keeping Quatre off my back for regular check-ups. I can't always risk getting there once a month." Duo let out another little huff and scowled up at Howard. "But it's been quiet recently, so I got there this time."
"So you're pissed I made arrangements to look out for you kid? Here I thought I was helping you." A glint of anger flared, then cooled, seeing Duo flinch at his words. Howard sat back down and looked at the boy. He cared for him, Duo being the closest thing to a son he'd ever have.
"It's not that. I think Heero is getting suspicious. He knows that I have been keeping something from them."
"That's your own fault, kid. I told you months ago, you needed to tell them what was going on with you."
"Things have only just recently begun to come together for me, Howard. If I tell them now, they'll worry if I can cut it in battle. Shit, I think about how I'd react if I found out that one of them was sick. Would I want them watching my back if they could have a seizure or worse during a gun fight?" Duo got up explosively and began pacing back and forth. "It's bad enough that I have all this emotional baggage I'm carrying around, the anti-depressants help, but I hate that I'm so weak that I need them... Heero is losing respect for me by the day, I can feel it." He stopped in front of Howard, who sat motionless, and continued his rant. "So I go, and have the damn physical, let the blood suckers take more blood, and they tell me it's progressing. So they give me more drugs that mix with the ones I've got already. They make me sick like a dog, or foggy, or worse... nervous. I'm hyper enough, ya know? Shit man... it's getting worse not better! What the fuck am I gonna do?!"
"You fight it kid, just like you have fought for everything else you've wanted." Howard felt his chest tighten at the anguish in the violet eyes. Duo was fighting to keep is composure and starting to crack.
"What... if I'm... not strong enough?"
"Duo, a single stick can be broken a lot easier than if you bind a whole bunch of them together. There is strength in numbers. You don't always have to face things alone. You've been doing that for twelve years or more. Don't you think that you can finally reach out to those in your life?"
"Howard, other than you and Quatre, I've never let anyone in." Duo slumped to a sitting position on the floor and absent-mindedly played with the length of his braid.
"It's a start." Howard paused. His timing was probably off, but he didn't get to see Duo as often, so he figured now was good a time as any to bring it up. "And Heero?"
Duo's eyes shot up and his face went pale. "What about him?"
"Don't play me, kid."
"For a while everything was great. I finally started to see what he's been keeping hidden underneath all that Perfect Soldier crap. With all of us finally coming together to form some kind of team, we've gotten closer than I ever thought we could. It's just that, the more he shares with me, ya know, opens up, the guiltier I feel."
"You started to need him, and that was fine, until he needed you back, is that it?"
"I've always been on the giving side, never the receiving, so when he started to take an interest in me, I guess I closed myself off. Heero's really good at turning the tables on ya. I thought I was breaking through his defenses, then all the sudden I was the one who felt like he was getting too close to me. I don't want him to know all the shit I've been though. Why would I do that to someone? I don't need pity."
"Bullshit kid." Duo frowned again. "You're feeling sorry for yourself again. Like I said before, you have to fight for the things that you want. If you want Heero you have to fight for him kid."
"I guess." Duo hung his head and let out a little yawn. His shoulders were slumped and he did look completely dejected.
"So did they give you a new treatment?"
"Yeah. The guys are gonna find out sooner or later, the treatment will make me sicker, before I see any results, but they are optimistic. I'll have to ask G what he wants me to do. But so far I've been unable to get a hold of him."
"You know kid, if you're not ready to face them yet, you can crash here for as long as you like. I can figure something out for you for a while and get those damn harpies off your back."
"No thanks, man. I guess it's time I faced up to my fears. Hey it can't get any worse." Duo stretched and yawned again, getting up from the floor in a fluid movement.
Howard rose as well and put a hand on Duo's shoulder. "Why don't you crash here for a bit, take a nap, you look like you need it. I'll wake you in a few hours. It'll give me and the guys time to go over Deathscythe." Duo gave him a weak smile and nodded. He headed off to crash in Howard's office.
As he was leaving one of the sweepers jogged in and called for Howard. "Howard, you gotta call, priority."
Howard watched Duo lay down on the sofa and went to pick up the vid phone. Turning his attention away from the restless boy on his couch, he opened the line.
End Part 1
(:./ebony/death1)
