NOTE: This commentary is a companion piece to The Drums of Heaven and may not make complete sense unless you've read chapter 9 of that story. May contain spoilers for the story!
Quatre: Already in some of the reviews, people are talking about the maniac hackers who are making guests appearances in the story. We thought it'd be a nice change to interview them, and see what kind of experience they're having with our established crew.
Rat: Hey again.
Duo: Oh, it's you.
Rat: Don't be disrespecting elite hackers, man.
Duo: Elite? You wish. Your keyboard against mine. Outside. Now. You're going down.
Wufei: Back away from the laptops.
Quatre: *cough* So, as I was saying, I thought we could start with the youngest. Mike, known as Mike the Hand.
Mike: Hi.
Quatre: How're you feeling today, Mike? You seem a little nervous.
Mike: You sure you can keep that Deathscythe guy away from me?
Duo: That what guy?
Mike: *eep*
Wufei: Smooth, Duo. We now have a Mike-shaped hole in the studio door.
Duo: I didn't do anything!
Heero: Idiot.
Quatre: Alright, then, next up is Harry, also known as Pinky.
Pinky: Hey. Nice to meet all of you.
Trowa: Why 'Pinky'?
Pinky: It's a character I play in a game.
Wufei: You play a female character?
Pinky: Why not? She's cute. I'd rather look at her than some hairy guy for three hours.
Duo: He's got a point. Hairy is bad.
Trowa: Let's not go there.
Quatre: So, Pinky, how are you enjoying your role so far?
Pinky: I'm a little disappointed. I thought this was supposed to be a Western.
Wufei: A what?
Pinky: That's what my agent said. Something about Clint Eastwood...
Heero: I have no idea what he's talking about.
Pinky: ...or that other guy who was in some show in Hawaii and drove a red car and had a butler...
Wufei: Let him keep talking. Duo'll met his match.
Pinky: ...And he was in other stuff, this guy. I think he had a mustache. So, like a western...
Duo: Hey! I heard that!
Pinky: ...and that's good, because I've always wanted to ride a horse...
Heero: This is NOT a western!
Pinky: ...especially since some of the guns in those westerns are really cool. There was this one set in Australia...
Trowa: I think he's figured that out.
Pinky: ...again that tall guy was in it, what was his name? Anyway he had this modified Sharps rifle with a nifty tang sight...
Quatre: Does anyone know where the duct tape is?
Pinky: ...He was a sniper or sharpshooter or something, and there's this crazy chick. If she had pink hair, she'd be like Ping-chan.
Wufei: Ping-chan?
Pinky: Oh! Yeah, that's the name of the character I play in this game...
Duo: Tom Selleck.
Heero: What?
Pinky: Yeah! That's the guy. And none of you are him. So I'm like, disappointed but it's pretty cool to play a hacker anyway. So, like, nice to meet everyone.
Quatre: Moving right along... Snake?
Snake: \/\/h@+Z H4PP3|\|1N5?
Quatre: *blink*
Wufei: What did he say?
Snake: C|-|I11, |>UD3Z. 1M 3NJ0Y1N6 B31N6 I|\| D@ S7ORY 50 F4R. I+Z <0OL.
Heero: Where's Duo?
Wufei: Making faces at Mike through the hole in the studio door.
Heero: Duo! Do you speak L33t?
Duo: Nope, sorry. But I speak C+ and C++, and some Cobalt, ASCII, and Hexadecimal. Enough to get by. Y'know, where's the bathroom, I want a beer, and speak English you freak. All the important phrases.
Heero: Idiot. Where's Trowa?
Quatre: Getting duct tape, hopefully.
Trowa: Back. What's up?
Heero: Do you speak l33t?
Trowa: Sure do. J00! 5P34K 3|\|6L15H, M@N!
Snake: You are not l33t.
Trowa: Ph34r M1 N4|<3D L33T 5|<1LLZ!
Snake: *quake*
Quatre: Alright. I think we should talk to Rat now.
Rat: About time. I have a question for you guys.
Quatre: You do?
Duo: This I gotta hear.
Rat: What's the deal with the bikers? Where'd you get that trick?
Heero: No idea.
Rat: What?
Heero: Look, I'm not writing this story. I'm just the POV for it. Third-person partial omniscient, but still, mostly my POV. But I'm not claiming responsibility for it.
Rat: Damn. It just seems like a really familiar idea.
Trowa: Hell's Angels '69.
Wufei: What?
Trowa: Similar plot line for a bank heist. I think Zef was doing a homage.
Duo: *grumble* If I'd done it, you would've said it was theft.
Heero: Yes, we would have. And if I were writing this story, it'd be completely different by now.
Duo: Would it have ---
Heero: NO. You'd be DEAD by now.
Duo: Hey!
Heero: Hey yourself!
Quatre: Are those corners free again? We might need two.
Wufei: Why don't we just shoot both of them?
Pinky: Westerns! I came prepared! I knew this 12-guage pump-action Remington 870 would come in handy!
Heero: Shit!
Quatre: Kid, you just put a hole in the fucking CEILING!
Trowa: And you just got Quatre to CUSS!
Pinky: Oops?
End Part 9
(:./sol/behind9)
