05-Oct-2000
ok, this is dedicated to that wench lilias, who put it in my head when i didn't want it to be there. so if you have *any* problems at all with this, i want you to tell *her*, not me.
i stole the title from a They Might Be Giants song, but it is *not* a songfic. you can all rest easy. it's just my unusual idea of why relena follows heero.
Note: The quotes from the series may not be exact; please do *not* let me know. I'm not bothered enough to make sure they're right. I just wanted the *feeling* to be right.
Disclaimer: Sunrise, Bandai et al own GW, TMBG own the song title, and I own nothing. Suing would be pointless.
Warning: R+1, R-POV, slight OCC. (no citrus - I promise! Ick!)
/=thoughts
*=emphasis
~~~~~ denotes the passage of time
Relena walked along the cliff road, kicking stones and thinking about her father. /Probably doesn't even care that I'm gone. Stupid reporters! He always spends time with them, not me. I'm just someone who gets in the way of his precious job!/
She leaned against the fence that bordered the road and cliffside, and looked out over the ocean. /I wish, I wish... I don't know *what* I wish! I just want something different to happen!/
Suddenly, her eyes narrowed. Was that a... person lying on the beach? What if they were hurt? Her own bad mood forgotten, Relena rushed to the nearest access stairway, almost tripping in her haste to reach the injured person.
She dropped to her knees beside the prone figure and gently removed the helmet from the body. "He's just a boy!" The surprised words escaped her without conscious thought. /What is someone so young doing in the military?/ Relena shrugged her shoulders. Whatever, *whoever*, this boy was, at the moment he was a person who needed help. She took out her phone and called for an ambulance.
Without warning, the boy sat up, shock evident in his dark-blue eyes. He put his hand in front of his face. "Did you see?!" he yelled, backing slowly away from Relena.
Confused, she walked towards the boy, hand stretched out, trying to calm him. The squeal of tires on pavement caused her to turn her head. Seeing the paramedics leap from the ambulance, she smiled in relief. She turned back to the boy. "Look! It's all right now. They're here!"
The boy glared at her and ran, straight towards the paramedics. Stunned, Relena watched him knock both grown men down the stairs and steal the ambulance, all in a matter of seconds. Then he was gone.
/My God, what *strength*! He knew what he wanted and he just *took* it. Oh, if only, if only... / Ignoring the injured men, Relena stared in the direction the ambulance had gone. Then, bowing her head, she introduced herself to the wind.
Relena looked up from her notebook, where she had been doodling. What had the teacher said? A new student? Her eyes widened. /It's him, the boy from the beach! And he's going to sit by *me*!/ She moved over a bit, to give him room.
The boy - /Heero. The teacher said his name was Heero/ - sat next to her, never acknowledging her presence. His posture broomstick-straight, he looked looked only at the teacher, his entire attention focused.
Relena glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, head bowed over her notebook. /He'll never break, admit that we've met before. He doesn't *care* what I think./
She sketched her father's face on her notebook, and then began scratching it out with bold, heavy strokes. /How can he *not* care? What makes him so strong?/ She sighed as she looked at the mess she'd made of her paper. /To be so confident. Why can't I be that strong?/ She crumpled up the paper and threw it on the floor.
Later that day, Relena watched as Heero ripped up her invitation, just as she thought he might. /I *knew* it! Right in front of everyone, and he just doesn't give a damn. Oh God, *I* want that kind of confidence!/
As he walked past her, Heero whispered "I will kill you", and gently touched her face. Relena stood still, as if shocked. /Yes! Kill me, Heero, and let me be born again! Let me be different, let me change./ The wind swirled about her, blowing dust in her eyes, but she never moved.
Relena threw her arms wide, putting her body between Heero and the shooter. "Stop it!" she yelled. "What do you want to shoot him for?"
The braided gunman looked startled, and turned his gun to the side. Immediately, Relena dropped to her knees and began ripping her dress into makeshift bandages. She smiled to herself, watching as Heero glared at her.
/You may be the strongest person I've ever met,/ she thought, quickly wrapping the bandages around his wounds, /but you bleed when you get shot, just like any mortal./
She finished and sat back on her knees. The braided gunman was still talking, but Relena was not paying attention to him. She was watching Heero watch a platform, swaying at the end of a cable.
/Nothing will stop you, will it? You don't even care if you *die*, as long as you do what you want to do./ Her mind raced back over the years of her life- school, parties, her parents, piano lessons, fundraisers, reporters, everything. /I don't think I've *ever* done what I wanted to do./
Unlike the boy with the gun, Relena was not surprised at all when Heero ignored his wounds and jumped on the platform to fire the torpedoes. Impassively, she watched him fall into the water. /You're happy now, aren't you? You've done what you set out to do./
She watched Heero float away. /Oh, Heero, my Heero. I always know what you're going to do. You are the *one* constant in my life./ She smiled slightly as the breeze brought the sound of sirens to her ears.
Relena sat in the swiftly-moving car, next to the mechanical man. She didn't know where she was going, and she didn't care. Her thoughts were swirling, chaotic.
/Lies, all lies! Not my father. Dead, dead! I killed him, *I* did! I gave her the compact. Peacecraft? Adopted? Who am I, what am I? What will I *do*? My whole life a lie, a lie!/
She was jerked from her misery by the sound of a familiar name. She put her hand on the man's metal arm, and for just a moment, really looked at him. "Heero? You know Heero?"
He replied and she automatically responded, but she was once more caught up in her own thoughts. /Oh, yes, Heero! That's it! You will be my strength, my example. Never again will I let others tell me what to do, follow orders. I will act, not react, and not give a damn about what anyone thinks. I will do what *you* would do./
The man left her on a street corner, and drove away. A chill wind tugged at her clothes; Relana shivered and looked to the night sky. /Heero. You will be my guiding star./
Relena twirled about the dance floor in Heero's arms, unsure if she were dreaming. Earlier he had threatened to kill her, and now they were dancing.
/Just like normal people, huh? But we're *not* normal, are we? You're a pilot and a terrorist and the source of my strength. And I, I am transforming./ Heero spun her into a complicated pattern of steps. When it was done, she leaned against him, trying to leach his force, his vitality, through his skin.
/You said you were going to kill me, Heero. Well, do it! Kill me, change me, make me new!/ Relena's thoughts were interrupted as an explosion rocked the building. Then Heero was gone and she stood alone on the dance floor, watching the screaming people run past her.
/Sheep/ she thought, walking slowly to the garden. /They are just reacting blindly, with no thoughts of their own. But I am like Heero. I am acting. I will go outside and face whatever's coming, and never be afraid. Like Heero./
The night sky blossomed with explosions, debris falling everywhere. Relena could her the crackle of flames behind her. She stood silent and still, unafraid. /Heero doesn't care if he dies, as long as he does what he wants to do. Well, this is what *I* want to do!/
And Relena stood still and did not move, and bricks and mortar rained down around her and people screamed and fires burned, and she did not move. /I will be strong./ And the buliding shattered and broke and slowly tumbled towards her and then a strange mobile suit was before her, shield covering her, and she never bowed and she never broke and she did not bend.
Relena laughed as the dust settled around her. /Is this what it's like? Is this how it feels to be free? To choose your own path, your own destiny, and stick to it? Oh, Heero! It's *glorious*!/
In the shadow of the mobile suit, she raised her arms and finished her dance, as the winds whipped the flames higher and higher.
Relena shielded her eyes from the sun as she climbed from the car, searching for Heero. A vaguely familiar boy said "Hey, good-looking!", but she ignored him, concentrating on his companion. /Heero./
He glared at her and walked away. She smiled to herself; it was just what she thought he would do. /I don't care. I don't need to talk to you, Heero, I just need to know you're around. You're my strength, my touchstone, my anchor. I just need to see you now and then, to remind me./
Relena walked to the quayside railing, and looked out over the sea. She giggled as a fanciful thought struck her. /Heero, "you're my ever-fixed mark, that looks upon tempests and is never shaken; you are the star to my wand'ring bark"/(1) She giggled again. It seemed so strange to pair Heero up with such a romantic poem.
She took one last breath of the salt-laden air before turning back to the car. /Heero. as long as you're alive, as long as you exist, I'll be able to find the strength to do what I need to do./
On the long drive home, Relena planned what to bring to Moscow.
END END END
that's it. what did you think?
Note:
(1) a paraphrase of Sonnet 116, by Shakespeare
remember now: it's all lilias's fault. one can only hope i'll never have to write something like this again.
hyuy
glad it's over
(:./hyuy/rock)
