revised: 29-Dec-2000
Merciless sap inspired by the "Reaching Toward Understanding" arc by Lys Ap Adin. Probably works best as 1+2/2+1.
Blame Emily. And Tekka, who appears to be a closet hopeless romantic sap fiend. ::shrugs:: Who'd've thunk it?
You made me wait, you know.
Oh, yes, you took your sweet time figuring out what you wanted... sometimes I hate you for the waiting you put me through. I am not a patient person, and waiting is not something I am good at. Waiting for you to notice me, waiting for you to respect me, waiting for you to respect *you,* waiting for you to decide not to fucking die after the war--don't think I've forgiven you for that--waiting... waiting for you to convince me you were worth it.
Oh, what am I saying? Of course I forgave you, and no, I didn't do a great job of hating you, either. It's that damned look you get on your face sometimes; it makes me forget what I'm thinking and just want. You are so fucking easy to love and so fucking hard to survive.
But hey, I always liked a challenge, right? And I've been a survivor from the beginning. So I keep dragging your ass out of trouble, and the rest of the time I keep my distance, and I wait. Whether or not you're worth it, well....
I guess I'm about to find out. The look on your face has a kind of finality to it, more so than it did the day you blew up the sky. I was so angry then. How was I supposed to care about you if you didn't care about yourself? Not fair.
Life isn't. I waited for you anyway. And here you are.
You are so funny sometimes. That look on your face like you were on a mission from God himself, and you walked up to me so determined... you made me think it was the end of the world. I stood here wondering whether you were worth it, remembering the time you died, pondering the real heavy shit....
And you just walked up to me and touched my face.
Like that's all you wanted to say. All you know how to say. You don't say it well, either, you know that? It's like you'd never touched anyone before, and all you knew about what you had to do, your mission, was that your hand had to make physical contact with my face. After that, I guess you were going to let me figure it out, right?
Too bad your touch on my face has got me so heady and needy and weak in the knees that all I can do is stare at you like a silly schoolgirl in a kind of overload, panting and leaning into your hand and so relieved it's like a physical feeling. All the tension that's built up in me for the past two years just broke inside my chest, and you want me to figure out the next step. I shouldn't just fall into you like this after you've left me in limbo for months. Where the hell is my dignity?
You blink.
You touch me again, perhaps wondering if I didn't quite get it on the first try.
Yes, that's all I needed you to say.
I answer with my lips on your fingers. I've been waiting for a long time.
~Owari~
(:./cutter/tactile)
