24-Jul-2000
Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit.
Warning: Angst, sap, kinda AU, sorta OOC, tiny bit of shounen-ai
//...// denotes inner thoughts
Heero reached out to steady the other boy but his hand went right through Rowan. He looked on in mute horror as Rowan tried to regain his balance, failed, and fell. Heero screamed, voice full of raw agony. He couldn't - not again. He simply couldn't bear to go through the same ordeal twice. He couldn't lose Duo twice. Surely, this was beyond the cruelest of punishments that God could have devised for him. Surely, no God would be this cruel.
He knelt by Rowan's body, crying unashamedly. "Please don't do this. Please don't kill him, too." The prayer wasn't addressed to anyone in particular. It was just a cry for help from a soul too torn to continue its existence.
"Well, don't you kids have some rotten luck." It was the Messenger, Heero's nemesis, yet again.
"Rowan. Duo. He - I-," Heero choked, unable to go on. To Hell with the Perfect Soldier façade - his anguish was far too great to keep the mask of impassivity on.
"This kid is not really Duo," the Messenger said gently. Heero looked up questioningly; dimly aware of the figure swathed in a black hooded cloak across from him.
"Duo's soul was reborn out of turn by mistake," the Messenger explained, "and because someone somewhere screwed up, Duo's memories weren't all erased as they were supposed to be. That is why Rowan keeps having those flashbacks."
Now Heero knew everything. This kid was Duo enough to make him hurt, but not enough to be the American's clone.
"But. What now? Is he going to." Die, but Heero couldn't finish the phrase.
"Well, it's in your hands now, son. You get to decide his fate since it was partly your fault he ended up like this. You get two choices. One, Rowan dies and you get to take your chances with him in the Sweet Hereafter. Or he lives but I will erase all of his Duo memories. He won't remember anything, anyone. You pick which."
"Why me?"
"Not my decision, kid."
It wasn't fair. _He_ couldn't decide whether someone should live or die. _He_ was no God. How could he decide something like this? Especially when so much was at stake - for both of them.
On the one hand, Heero wanted nothing else than to be with Duo, in this world or the next. On the other, Rowan deserved a chance to live his own life, not someone else's. He deserved to have his own memories, not someone else's. Besides, this kid was not Duo, could never be Duo, and could never replace him. His personality was different to make him a unique person in his own right. Heero remembered Rowan's pain, his dreams, and his hopes. He recalled the boy's sorrows and sufferings, his drawings, and his imagination. And then, Heero knew what choice he should make. Rowan deserved a second chance at a normal life, and Heero would give it to him. He told the Messenger as much.
"But, are you sure? He will not remember anything." He won't remember you, the Messenger meant to say. Heero nodded slowly.
"It's OK. Maybe he will be happier then."
"Very well, if that's your final decision, son. I shall return things to the time just before he came to this town. What happens from there is beyond my control."
Heero nodded again. Rowan would always have the shadows from his past and they would probably come back to haunt him. But at least he'd have a shot at a better future. He earned as much.
"Are you ready?" Heero just nodded, afraid that his voice would fail him should he try to speak.
Time stopped, the moment frozen like a still-life photograph. Rowan opened his eyes - Duo's eyes. He saw Heero and smiled - Duo's smile.
"I love you," he said - Duo's voice.
// I love you, too. // Heero's soul screamed out, but before he could say the words aloud, the moment broke, the clock started ticking again. When it did, Rowan was no longer there and the house looked like it had before the teenager moved in. Heero looked around and saw the Messenger, still standing across from him. Suddenly, the hood of his cloak fell off, revealing the face of a kindly old man with a hint of a smile hidden in his beard.
"Congratulations, son. You made a good choice. Now you get your ticket home."
Lost in his thoughts, Heero didn't realize what the man was saying.
"Huh?"
"You are done, your trial is over."
"I don't understand."
"Still as dense as ever, eh, Heero? Your lesson was to learn love and sacrifice for the one that you love. You were able to do just that, finally. So you get your well-deserved rest now."
Understanding finally dawned; Heero was free at last.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes."
The Messenger took his hand and suddenly the walls of the house began to get translucent, as if they were made of smoke - a mirage. Quickly, Heero's surroundings changed; they became more and more ethereal. Before long, he found himself in the air, above the remains of the old mansion. What survived were a few sections of the outer walls. That was all. The ruins were overgrown with weeds and ivy. Heero took one last look, before turning away to follow his guide. One last look at the remains of his life. But, as he floated further and further into oblivion, Heero felt no regrets. On the contrary, a sensation of utter tranquility spread through his entire being. He felt serenity and calm overtake him. At long last, he found peace he had longed for all this time
It was late in the afternoon when a teenager of about eighteen rode into the town on a battered ancient speeder that had obviously seen better days. The boy had traveled a long way already and, when he saw the sign for this quaint little place in the middle of nowhere, he decided here would be as good place as any to stop for a few days. He cruised down the narrow streets until he noticed a coffee shop on one of the corners. His stomach rumbled, letting the teenager know it was time to eat. He parked his bike and walked in. The place was nearly empty and he picked a cozy seat by the window. He gave his order to the waitress, then settled to wait, whiling the time by watching the passers-by in the street outside the shop. His observations were interrupted by a yelp right next to his table, followed by the sound of glass crashing on the floor. He turned around to see a girl about his own age, another waitress judging by her uniform. He also saw the cause for her distress - there was an overturned tray on the floor, as well as several broken dishes, pieces of food, and a puddle of coffee. She probably slipped and dropped the tray in the process.
"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" The girl babbled while frantically trying to pick up the pieces scattered on the floor.
The boy got off his chair and knelt on the floor next to her.
"Mind if I give you a hand here?"
The girl looked up at him and smiled unexpectedly. She had soft brown hair and deep blue eyes, and a great smile. She couldn't be called beautiful by anyone's standards, but there was a certain air about her that made her very attractive. The teenager smiled back.
"Hey, I haven't seen you around before. Are you new in town? My name is Hermione, but everyone calls me Mona. What's yours?" All said in one breath. She smiled again, and the boy noticed small blue fires that lit up in her eyes every time she did.
"Yep, I'm new here, just got in about an hour ago. My name is Rowan."
Owari
Well, what do you think? C&C, please!
(:./murasaki/second11)
