Disclaimers: Don't own them.
Warnings: Cussing. Timeline? We don't need no stinkin' timeline. And, of course, the story takes place in one of the multitude of oh-so-convenient Winner estates... hey, just following fanfic convention.
I crouched against the cold wall, shivering. It was dark, and I had been running and hiding for hours, trying to escape my pursuers. They were determined, though. I had been gone too long, but I couldn't risk leading anyone back to the others. Echoes of running footsteps bounced down the empty streets, and I pulled further back into the alley, crouching behind piles of garbage.
"Damn it, where is the little thief?" a voice exclaimed in irritation, and in an instant my mind processed that voice - Quatre? - slipped sideways, the alley seemed to flicker and I was awake, my eyes wide open and my heart pounding with residual terror from the dream. Even now, I could see the alley walls overlaying the walls of the room.
I sat up wearily. It wasn't the first time I'd had that nightmare, and it wouldn't be the last. Just part of life, all in all. Still, that was the first time that one of the other pilots had appeared in it. Great. I'll mark it on my calendar.
"There he is!" My eyes opened wide and I clambered hurriedly out of bed. That was Wufei's voice, and it had come from the open window of my room. I glanced out on the lawn to see all four of my fellow pilots chasing a large black bird across the Winner lawn. The bird had something in its beak that glittered in the sun, and it would flap a few feet, stop, then flap a little further. If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn it was playing with them.
Heero made a flying tackle that only landed him a faceful of grass, and Quatre and Trowa managed to trip and stumble into each other at almost the same instant. I couldn't help it; I threw my head back and started laughing. Heero got to his feet, cursing and waving his fist at the bird. "Omae o korosu!" The bird cocked its head at him disdainfully, and I was laughing so hard that tears were starting to form in my eyes.
Quatre pulled Trowa and Wufei to the side and talked to them in low, urgent murmurs. The bird - it looked kind of like a crow, only bigger - ignored them, hopping along just out of Heero's reach. The other three broke out of their huddle and began to walk with feigned nonchalance around the outer edges of the yard, each in a different direction. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've seen Chang Wufei attempt to feign nonchalance. Quatre was attempting to whistle, very badly, some old show tune, with his hands clasped behind his back.
When they had all reached their obviously preassigned positions, they began to edge sideways towards the bird, still attempting nonchalance. I shook my head and lifted my eyes skyward. Guerrilla terrorists, sure. Ace pilots, sure. Actors? No. The bird turned its head in each direction and - I swear to you - shook its head, then launched itself into the air just as all three (plus Heero, coming up from behind) made a dive for it. They landed in a tangled, loudly cursing pile of limbs. I was laughing so hard my sides hurt.
In midair, the bird turned and coasted towards the window where I stood, and I stepped back, startled, glancing around for a non-lethal weapon. It was a pretty big bird, after all. But all it did was land on the windowsill, drop whatever it was holding, and croak a few times, for all the world as though it were laughing too. Then it launched itself over the yard and was gone.
The object on my windowsill turned out to be a navigational chip from Wing, which had been lying on a table while Heero was performing repairs. I thought about holding it for ransom, but decided that I really liked my major body organs intact and functioning properly.
"What the heck was that, anyway?" I asked Quatre.
"Raven," he said sourly. "There's two of them that live in the trees near the house, and they are an infernal nuisance. Loud, obnoxious, thieving - and to top it off, they're intelligent, which makes them twice as likely to get into precisely what they shouldn't."
I grinned broadly. "Sounds like me." Quatre rolled his eyes and acknowledged that I had a point.
"Not quite," said Wufei. "At least the birds don't live in the same house with us."
"And we could shoot the birds. We can't shoot Duo," Quatre added, smirking.
"Says who?" muttered Heero, who had been acting decidely more... human the last few days.
I shook my head. "No respect."
The ravens turned out to be just as intelligent and nosy as Quatre had said, and they drove the other pilots nuts. They stole valuable Gundam parts and left them lying in strange, hard-to-reach places. They snuck up on Wufei while he was repairing Nataku and squawked loudly to make him bang his head. They stole violin strings from Quatre and, utterly fascinated by Trowa's bangs, would try to steal hair from them at every opportunity.
For some reason, they didn't play a single prank on me. They would occasionally perch on Deathscythe to sleep, and they liked to hang out on my windowsill, but they never tried to pull my braid, or steal parts from me, or anything else. To tell the truth, I was getting pretty fond of 'em. After all, they were the only cheerful companionship I had other than Quatre.
"You know, sometimes it gets old, trying to cheer everybody up," I said to one of them, scratching its breast feathers as I stared out the window. "All I want is for them to loosen up a little. Try to grab a little happiness before it's too late, ya know? But all they ever do is tell me to shut up. Well, except for Trowa, who just sits there. I figure he's more Quatre's department anyway; they've got that whole music thing going on. But Heero and Wufei... I'm tired of being yelled at when all I want to do is help!" I stopped, surprised at the vehemence of my own voice and my suddenly ragged breathing. The raven croaked at me. "Yeah, I guess they never asked for my help, did they? It's just - I want to have friends again, raven-kun."
Voices echoed in my head. "Go away, Duo." "This whole war is just a damn game to you!" Why did they keep pushing me away? Why?
The other raven coasted in across the yard and landed on the windowsill. It cocked its head at me and croaked. I smiled at it, a sort of half-smile that didn't quite make it all the way inside, and looked out at the darkening sky.
"I had a best friend once, a long time ago. Named Solo. He taught me a lot; I think he was the first real friend I ever had. Then he died. Everyone I ever cared about died, you know. I'm not dumb enough to think that I'm bad luck or something, but sometimes I wonder why I'm the one who always has to live..."
A cough from the door made me spin around violently, scaring both ravens into flight. "Uh, Duo, gomen, but it's time for supper," Quatre said, not meeting my eyes.
"Supper? Cool!" I bounced back into hyper-Duo again for his benefit. "Let's go!" I skipped out the door past him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him staring at me with concern written all over his face, but I determinedly ignored it. He was too polite to pry, anyway.
Dinner was always a brief affair for the five of us. There wasn't a lot of conversation going on, after all, other than mine and occasionally Quatre's. But suddenly, that night, I was just sick of it. The knot just above my stomach where I stored my anger, my pain, and all the other emotions I didn't want the others to see was occupying all my attention. So I didn't say a word, just concentrated on my food and on not throwing my glass across the room in one of the periodic waves of intense anger that washed over me.
Where the hell is this coming from? I couldn't decide what had triggered this powerful emotional reaction, although I had the suspicion that Heero and Wufei's continual rejection had something to do with it. It didn't help that it had been almost a month without any kind of mission, and I hadn't had a chance to work off some of that anger by blowing the crap out of mobile dolls...
"Duo!" My head snapped up to meet Wufei's black eyes across the table. He was wearing the scowl normally reserved for when I was seriously pissing him off. Now what had I done? I hadn't even said anything, for God's sake! I glared at him, and the scowl vanished, replaced by startlement. "Uh... you're being pretty quiet," he finally said, staring at me.
I shrugged. "So?" I asked him. "That should make you happy, right?" His eyes opened even further, and beside me I saw Heero actually look up from his meal. Wufei opened his mouth, then shut it again. We finished the meal in silence.
I lay awake for hours, the pounding of rain on the roof holding sleep at bay. I never could sleep when it rained; the sound was so unfamiliar. It never rained on L2. Well, almost never. Maybe once a year or so.
Funny how something that most people take for granted can be such a cause for celebration for others. I remembered one particular night when we all awoke at the same instant, as the first few drops hit the roof. The youngest of the kids were terrified, but Solo just grinned and ran to the window, then let out a whoop more joyous than anything I'd heard from him before.
"It's raining!" he yelled, and came back into the room to engulf me in a huge bear hug. "Come on!" We all ran for the outside to dance and play in the cooling water that came, like a miracle, from the sky. Other people were in the street, too, singing, playing, many of them collecting water in whatever containers they could find, trying to save just a little of that precious substance.
Just for a little while, we were all free from the worries we lived with every day. Free to be kids instead of miniature adults. Free to feel joy. "This is great!" Solo yelled, spreading his arms out and lifting his face to the sky. Then he and I swung each other in circles until our arms gave out and we collapsed, laughing, in a heap on the wet street. Solo hugged me. "This is the best!" he yelled, and all I could do was smile at him.
I woke the next morning just as sour as I'd went to bed. Not a usual sensation for me by any means. Rather than face the others over breakfast, I decided to sneak out the back door and go for a walk. Maybe if I worked off some of this nervous tension I could get back to normal. Right. I'll just keep telling myself that.
It was a beautiful morning, though. Not a cloud in the sky, a nice fresh breeze to keep it from getting too hot, grass, trees, a couple of cute bunnies munching on dandelions... I stopped and stared. Those were rabbits. I'd never seen rabbits before. I sat down right where I was and watched them delightedly, as they went about their business, hopping along, their noses twitching. A smile spread over my face despite myself. How could anyone stay grouchy in the face of bunny cuteness?
Suddenly, the bunnies froze, even their noses stilling, and bolted for the underbrush behind them. They were gone in an eyeblink. I'd never realized rabbits were so fast, but I guess they had to do something to escape from predators. Speaking of which, why had they -
"Duo." The voice behind me answered my question. Damn! I should have heard him coming up behind me, perfect soldier or not. That kind of carelessness is a great way to get killed.
"Yes?" I wouldn't look at him. Maybe he'd get the hint and go away. Instead, he folded himself down onto the grass next to me.
"You didn't come to breakfast. What's bothering you?" That's Heero for you. He doesn't talk much, but when he does he gets straight to the point.
I shrugged. "Nothing." I still wouldn't look at him, but I could see him out of the corner of my eye. He picked a long blade of grass and began peeling a strip off the side, pulling along the grain. That was new. Heero never fidgeted. Wasted movement was wasted energy, after all.
"Try again," he said shortly.
"What do you care? I'm still perfectly capable of performing any mission we may get sent on." I made my voice as emotionless as possible, and was startled to find that it sounded much like his sounded four-fifths of the time. He was still peeling that strip of grass.
"I have no doubts about that," he said flatly.
"Then why are you out here?" I was actually starting to get a little curious. Was it possible that some of what I'd been trying to do for the past few months was getting through to him? Could he actually be worried about me, Duo, not the Gundam pilot?
Heero paused. He'd finished peeling the blade of grass into tiny strips. He pulled another one and began the same process all over again. "Duo. You've spent months and months aggravating me, teasing me, and continously talking to me. You tell awful jokes while I'm trying to do mission reports. You play loud music while I'm trying to hack into OZ computers. You drive me absolutely nuts at every opportunity. And you do it all just to get a reaction out of me. Am I right?"
I hunched my shoulders, torn between bitterness and astonishment. He certainly made me sound like the world's most annoying person, but his voice had been full of some dry humor that made me curious to hear the rest of his little spiel. "Well," he continued finally, "you got a reaction. I was up at dawn this morning trying to hack into an OZ base mainframe and I couldn't do it because there was no heavy metal playing and no one trying to get me to listen to the one about the turkey, the politician, and the can of soup."
"Huh?" I gave up not looking at him and turned my head. His face was still more or less expressionless, except for a twist of the mouth that told me he was not enjoying himself.
"Baka," he muttered. "I'm trying to say that I've gotten used to having you the way you are. It disturbs me that you're not."
I couldn't help it; those last two sentences were enough to chase me right out of my bad mood. "Heero, could you be a little less coherent? I almost understood that," I told him, and my mouth curved up in spite of itself. He turned his head to glare at me, and my grin got even wider. "You know, if all you're trying to say is that you're worried about me, you could just come out and say it," I informed him. He was starting to growl under his breath, now.
"Duo," he said irritably, "Omae o korosu. Were you just pretending to be upset?"
"Iie." I was instantly sober. His glare grew puzzled. "But Heero, you, of all people, came out here to see what was wrong, and - " He made a strangled sound. "What?" I asked him.
"Is that really what you think of me?" he asked. "That I care so little about my friends that I wouldn't even bother to try to talk to them when they're acting completely out of character?" I just stared at him, mouth hanging open. "What?" he asked me irritably.
"Your - friend? You never called me that before. You've never called anyone that before."
"I never had one before you," he snarled defensively. "What the hell do I know about friendship? What little I do know, you taught me, and that doesn't always work for me. I can't talk like you do; it's too hard to get the words out." His voice was getting harsher as he spoke, almost as though he was forcing the breath in his lungs past some barrier in his throat.
"Oh," I said brilliantly. He rolled his eyes. Then I grinned again. "Ne, Heero?"
"What?"
"I'm hungry," I said plaintively, fluttering my eyelashes at him. He gave me another one of his patented glares, then got up.
"Well, I'm not bringing breakfast out to you, so if you want to eat we should get back to the house," he informed me. I pouted at him and he threw the blade of grass at me. Then the bushes rustled and we both turned as one, all our senses battle-ready and Heero's gun cocked and trained on the source of the noise - which poked its twitching nose out of the bushes, hopped out, and began to munch on the dandelions once again.
"Shut up, Duo," Heero growled as I trailed behind him into the house.
"Oh, Heero, save me! It's a mobile bunny!"
"Omae o korosu."
"Just out of curiosity, how do you hide a gun in Spandex?" My teasing was broken off by the sound of Wufei cursing, loudly. We followed the sound into the study, where Quatre and Trowa were sitting on the couch, reading placidly, while Wufei swatted ineffectually at one of the ravens, which was perched on a marble head over the door.
As we entered, they turned to look at me, and I gave them one of my trademark bouncy-American grins. Quatre returned the smile. Trowa nodded at me (nearly causing me to faint), and Wufei's whole body seemed, for just a moment, to release some ill-defined tension. Now that I had stopped feeling sorry for myself, I could see clearly the faint signs of friendship that I had been missing before. Not as obvious as Solo's hugs, but just as real, and just as precious.
Wufei turned his attention back to the raven, which just croaked and settled itself more firmly on the woman's head. "Give it up, Wufei," Quatre said tiredly. "It likes it there." He sounded as though he'd said this a few dozen times already, with no effect.
"Yeah, Wu-chan," I chimed in, grinning. "It's not hurting anything. And look on the bright side; as long as it's sitting there, it's not causing mischief somewhere else." He glared at me.
"What I want to know," he said, "is why they always seem to miss you when they play one of their little jokes. That is not justice."
"Hey, well, ravens are the birds of death, you know," I told him cheerfully. He rolled his eyes. "You know, Wu, they are pretty smart. Are you sure this one's not just a diversion?" His eyes widened, and he darted out of the room up the stairs. I looked at my watch. 5...4...3...2...
"Ack! Unjust bird! Come back here with that!" The others darted up the stairs to help Wufei with the capture and retrieval of whatever had been stolen. I strolled up more leisurely, turning as I left the room to wink at the feathered mischief-maker. Its harsh laughter followed me as I went to join my friends.
End Part 2
(:./tiercel/thought2)
