10-Apr-2000
a 2x1 story; a much edgier Duo than usual.
"Ah, damn, it's cold. You can see your breath in this room. I hope the heater kicks in soon." Duo was rubbing his arms as he walked into the room he was sharing with Heero on the ship. "I should've known, going this far north. Hey, Heero... "
Heero looked up from his computer. "Just stop it!"
"Stop what?"
"Stop your chattering."
Duo frowned. "What's wrong with a little talk?"
"A little talk is fine... You talk a lot."
Duo looked at those blue eyes. "You are just as cold as this room," he said. Duo thought, His eyes shine like light coming off of snow, a cold, piercing light. It's like nothing warm ever came from them.
Heero glared at him, his eyes a bitter glacial blue
"If you keep this up, you'll have me convinced that you hate me," said Duo.
"I do hate you," said Heero quietly.
Duo's face flushed as if he'd been slapped. "What the hell did you say that for?"
"You're always joking and mugging. It makes me mad. I don't know what's going on in your head. I can't believe that's who you are."
Duo gritted his teeth, then said, "As if you're any different."
"What do you mean by that?"
"That chilly façade of yours. If you're so damn cold, why haven't you iced off Relena, huh? Even though she's been a bother, you haven't made her a corpse yet. Why did you run all over Europe asking for forgiveness after you blew up that shuttle? Yeah, I heard about what your little conversation with Sylvia Noventa. It shows me that you've got a conscience. You're as much of a fraud, pretending that you don't give a damn about others."
Heero turned away from him, but Duo said, "As for my joking and mugging, if I were like you, I would've died by now. This is how I deal with things. It sure beats your method any time. Pressing self-destruct buttons! It's just a way of running away from your pain!"
Heero trembled, then turned to face him. "What do you know about my pain?"
"Well, it can't be more than mine. I killed more than 200 of my closest friends and family."
Heero's eyes widened. "Don't joke."
"I'm not joking. You heard of the Maxwell church massacre, right?"
"Are you saying you killed all those people?"
"No, but I was responsible. I was eight at the time. A bunch of rebels were hiding in the church, saying that if they only had one mobile suit, they could kick the army off the colony. They were acting like they were going to kill Father Maxwell because he kept telling them that fighting wasn't the answer, so I volunteered to get a suit for them. But by the time I got back, everything was rubble. Everyone I knew died because I stole it. Maybe everyone would've died anyway because of the rebels inside, but... I was the only one to survive. I shouldn't have run. I should've been with them at the end."
"You would've been killed," said Heero quietly, absorbing the knowledge.
"And wouldn't that make you happy!"
"Dying hurts like hell!" Heero glared at him.
"Well, if you haven't noticed, living hurts even more!" He returned Heero's glare. "You asked for the real me, like what you see? And now that I'm in the mood to spill my guts to you, there's one more thing I've been meaning to tell you!"
"What?"
Duo grabbed Heero by the shoulders and kissed him without tenderness on the lips, then began nuzzling his neck. "I want you. You're so mean to me but I want you! It's crazy, but I just want to fuck you until I make you feel something... "
Heero pushed him away and Duo landed on the bed on his side. For a couple seconds, he was so still that Heero wondered if he was hurt. Then Duo got up and said, "Fine, fine. You hate my guts, I get it." He picked up his coat and left the room.
The cold outside hit him with the force of a blow but he refused to turn back. He stood at the rail and looked up at the sky only to see the Aurora Borealis flickering overhead. It's so cool, thought Duo. They don't have anything like this on the colonies. So, he continued to watch as the light rippled the fabric of the sky.
"Duo. . ."
"What?" Duo didn't bother to turn around. What's he doing out here, he thought.
"You're going to catch a cold if you stay out here."
"I don't care, it's just as cold inside as it is out here."
"I didn't know that you were a survivor of that massacre. Duo... "
"What... "
"We could die at any time."
Duo let out a sharp laugh. "Tell me something I don't already know. What's your point?"
"That was my first kiss."
Duo stopped looking at the lights in the sky to look at the light in Heero's eyes. Amazing, he thought, they're even more beautiful than the Aurora. "Really?"
"It's true. I have a favor to ask."
"What?"
"Have sex with me. I don't want to die without feeling anything good for once."
Duo put a hand over one of his eyes. My, God! "What a way to put it." Still, he did ask, he thought.
"Will you come inside now? The room should be warm now and if not, I could make it warmer for you." Heero said, putting his mittened hand on top of Duo's hand.
"Do you know what you're saying?"
"Ah."
Duo narrowed his eyes. "I won't forgive you if you're playing with me."
"I don't play."
That's right, Duo thought. He doesn't. Duo followed Heero back into the room.
The heater had finally made the room if not toasty, at least tolerable. Heero quickly divested himself of his clothes. Duo, on the other hand, simply took off shirt, paused then pulled out the medicine kit underneath the bed, bent down and opened it. He gave out a sigh of relief and put the tube of vaseline next to the pillow.
"What's that for?"
"You really don't know?" said Duo, smiling.
"What now?"
"Let's lay down together and let me handle things." Duo said, using his fingers to comb through Heero's unruly hair.
The two of them lay down together on the bed. Duo kissed him on the lips, then brushed the bridge of Heero's nose with his tongue, pulled on his earlobes gently, then tugged gently at his eyelashes with his teeth. He gave him little smooches from his temples to his cheek before kissing him on his lips. Meanwhile, his hand caressed Heero's chest. Damn, his muscles are so defined and so tough. Then he reached for the little nub and squeezed it gently. Then he swirled his tongue deftly around Heero's nipples, causing Heero to close his eyes and groan softly. I can taste the salt of your skin, thought Duo. I never thought you'd let me do this in a thousand years. I'm going to make sure this is one experience that won't be about pain, at least not most of it.
He laid his head on Heero's stomach, then casually began stroking Heero's shaft. When he felt it begin to stiffen, he licked his lips and gently put his mouth around the tip, using his hand to gently grasp the base.
A few licks and he felt Heero suddenly burst into his mouth. It took him by surprise but he managed to swallow it. I see, he thought, he's not used to all this stimulation. I wonder if he masturbates just to get rid of the tension.
Heero frowned. "I came too early... "
"Don't worry, that just means that it'll take longer for you to come the second time around," he said. "This isn't something to be done in a hurry. This isn't just about getting the goal, it's about the process of getting there."
He felt Heero's hand rest on top of his hand and brush his bangs back. Duo looked up and saw a dreamy, sleepy look on his face. Duo looked in wonder at the sight. I've never seen that expression on his face before. I won't ever forget it until the day I die.
He took the little tube of vaseline and began rubbing copious quantities on his shaft, then slowly eased a finger inside of Heero, taking care to rub as much lubricant as he could. Then he slowly put in his middle finger as well and slowly twisted his fingers this way and that.
"Mmph."
"Don't worry. It's going to be all right." With that, he pushed Heero's legs up and apart, and slowly entered him, plunging them both into a warm darkness.
"How ya feeling, Heero?"
Heero smiled instead of smirked and nodded at him, then squeezed his hand.
"Do you... do you want to do this again, not now, but... "
"Yes."
"Anything you want to tell me."
"Can you turn the light off first?"
"Sure."
Duo reached over to the switch. Click went the switch and then Duo waited for Heero to speak.
The End
(:./mk/savage)
