| Top Ten Lines You Wanted to Hear Heero Say: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | To Relena, on the beach: "Why didn't my self-destruct work?? Why, why, why???" *stamps his foot* |
| 9. | After tumbling down the sheer rock face outside the hospital: *DAMN! That *hurts*!!" |
| 8. | To Duo, when he flies down with that funky hand held propeller: "Do you know how ridiculous that thing looks...?" |
| 7. | To Relena, after getting her birthday invitation: "I don't accept invitations that are delivered with applause." |
| 6. | To Zechs, after sharing Heero's first hand shake: "Whoa, big guy! Watch that grip! Ow..." |
| 5. | To Trowa, after regaining consciousness: "I have a concussion, I'm flat on my back, and you're leaving??" |
| 4. | To Relena, at the bottom of the plane stairway, "You've been reading Bride's magazine, haven't you..." |
| 3. | To Noin, after promising Relena he wouldn't leave Sank: "Yup, I'm a pathological liar and I'm outta here!" |
| 2. | To Treize, after test flying Epyon: "Good handling. Great acceleration. Rose-scented air freshener has to go, though." |
| 1. | "All right, Relena. I'll stop telling you I'm going to kill you. I'll just do it." *bang* |
| Top Ten Signs You're Obsessed With Heero: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | You're thinking of paring down your wardrobe to just the essentials -which happen to be a tank top and shorts. |
| 9. | You've become very good at not being able to kill yourself. |
| 8. | You've begun to answer any request from family, friends, or co-workers with, "Nimru ryoukai" ("Mission accepted") |
| 7. | Sent out into the garden with a spray can of pesticide, you clutch your head and mutter, "Why can't I kill them!!" |
| 6. | You've taken to telling people that you're Japanese, even though you don't look at thing like it. |
| 5. | You've traded in your shiny new desktop computer for a battered laptop that you take everywhere. |
| 4. | You have to retrain yourself whenever an invitation to a birthday party comes in the mail. |
| 3. | You've written some pretend love letters to yourself from Heero and they always end with, "And I will kill you." |
| 2. | Being a hired assassin now seems somehow romantic and exciting to you. You may raise your children that way. |
| 1. | You've developed an incredible guilt that surfaces only in the presence of little girls and teddy bears. |
| Top Ten Things Heero would want if he was stranded on a desert island : | |
|---|---|
| 10. | His laptop... |
| 9. | and an infrared connection the whatever the Network is in A.C. 195. |
| 8. | His gundam. |
| 7. | Zechs (and Tallgeese) -they could duel to their hearts content. |
| 6. | Food - which he would largely ignore because of #s 7-10. |
| 5. | A knife, with which he could (among other things) cut himself and then go swim with sharks (to ease those suicidal urges.) |
| 4. | A rope ladder, so he can climb up the palm trees and fall off, face first. (Hey, it's only sand... he's done worse) |
| 3. | A swim suit - baggy variety - so he gets a chance to get out of that spandex. |
| 2. | Duo - to play spies with. |
| 1. | A large box to put Duo in when he gets too annoying. |
| Top Ten Questions Heero Would Hate to be Asked: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | What are you doing over there? |
| 9. | Can't you lighten up? |
| 8. | It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game -right? |
| 7. | Why don't you ask (pick GW character of your choice) out on a date? |
| 6. | Doesn't that hurt? |
| 5. | Aren't you getting tired of that outfit? |
| 4. | Where do you put the gun? |
| 3. | You're really in love with Relena, aren't you? |
| 2. | Isn't this whole 'mission-thing' kind of silly? |
| 1. | Why won't you talk to me, Heero? (especially asked by Relena) |
| Top Ten Things Heero Hates To Receive In The Mail: Graciously donated by Ravin Lorance - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Medical bills from when he was in the Alliance hospital (see, there IS a reason why he sets his own bones.) |
| 9. | A letter from his life insurance agency, saying his premiums will go up if he self-destructs one more time. |
| 8. | Whining repetitive messages from the Zero system, asking to be called the "perfect weapon" to go with the "perfect soldier." |
| 7. | ANOTHER birthday invitation |
| 6. | That one pesky tuition bill he forgot to erase from the school computer file. |
| 5. | A letter from Duo saying he's in town and going to visit |
| 4. | Another letter from Duo canceling his visit |
| 3. | Fines for violation the EPA's regulations on atmospheric clean-up. |
| 2. | A bill from Zechs for fixing the Wing Gundam |
| 1. | A valentine from Relena |
| Top Ten Self-Help/Teaching Videos Heero Has in His Possession: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The Physical Limits of the Human Body |
| 9. | How Far You Can Push Yourself and Not Die: Enduring Extremely Intense Pain |
| 8. | Do You Feel Unsafe? Paranoid? Don't Worry, Statistics Show That You're Probably Not Being Stalked |
| 7. | Treating Serious Medical Conditions Yourself |
| 6. | Suicide is Not the Answer: How to Conquer Those Trigger-Happy Feelings |
| 5. | How to Threaten People in 21 Languages (PLUS BONUS SESSION! How to Develop Your Own Insane Death Laugh) |
| 4. | Don't Use Your Own Gundam, You'll Damage It |
| 3. | How to Plant Explosives When BASE Jumping |
| 2. | Pathological Silence and Sealing Up Your Feelings Can Result in Violent Outbreaks: If You Do Go Off, Don't Kill Anyone Important |
| 1. | How to go through with what you say: Actions Speak Louder than Words |
| Top Ten Things Heero Hates To Receive In The Mail: Graciously donated by Ravin Lorance - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Medical bills from when he was in the Alliance hospital (see, there IS a reason why he sets his own bones.) |
| 9. | A letter from his life insurance agency, saying his premiums will go up if he self-destructs one more time. |
| 8. | Whining repetitive messages from the Zero system, asking to be called the "perfect weapon" to go with the "perfect soldier." |
| 7. | ANOTHER birthday invitation |
| 6. | That one pesky tuition bill he forgot to erase from the school computer file. |
| 5. | A letter from Duo saying he's in town and going to visit |
| 4. | Another letter from Duo canceling his visit |
| 3. | Fines for violation the EPA's regulations on atmospheric clean-up. |
| 2. | A bill from Zechs for fixing the Wing Gundam |
| 1. | A valentine from Relena |
| Top Ten Self-Help/Teaching Videos Heero Has in His Possession: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The Physical Limits of the Human Body |
| 9. | How Far You Can Push Yourself and Not Die: Enduring Extremely Intense Pain |
| 8. | Do You Feel Unsafe? Paranoid? Don't Worry, Statistics Show That You're Probably Not Being Stalked |
| 7. | Treating Serious Medical Conditions Yourself |
| 6. | Suicide is Not the Answer: How to Conquer Those Trigger-Happy Feelings |
| 5. | How to Threaten People in 21 Languages (PLUS BONUS SESSION! How to Develop Your Own Insane Death Laugh) |
| 4. | Don't Use Your Own Gundam, You'll Damage It |
| 3. | How to Plant Explosives When BASE Jumping |
| 2. | Pathological Silence and Sealing Up Your Feelings Can Result in Violent Outbreaks: If You Do Go Off, Don't Kill Anyone Important |
| 1. | How to go through with what you say: Actions Speak Louder than Words |
| Top Ten Lines You'll (Hopefully) Never Hear Heero Say: Graciously donated by CJ Comer - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 1. | Zechs, ZERO tells me C-6 and that I sunk your battleship. Is Epyon telling you different? |
| 2. | These shorts are really beginining to bug me! |
| 3. | *Singing suprano* "Somewhere over the rainbow..." |
| 4. | *Producer hands Heero & Relena a script* Heero: What do you mean I can't say kill! Relena: To protect the world from devastation... Heero: To unite all peoples with our nation... Relena: To denounce the evils of tru-Hey, wait a minute! |
| 5. | BURN KNUCKLE! |
| 6. | To be or not to be... THAT is the question. |
| 7. | What the... It's a Mobile Suit! It's a Leo! AAAHHH! |
| 8. | Hey, Relena. Do you wanna hang out sometime, because I know this great place in the mall where they have the cutest fuzzy puppies... |
| 9. | Duo, what should I do with my hair? |
| 10. | Guys, we need to have a heart to heart talk... |
| Heero's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | To beat Zechs - just once. |
| 9. | To change his clothes more than once a year. |
| 8. | To learn to say, "No thanks, Relena. I'm too busy being a secretive terrorist to attend your birthday party." |
| 7. | To visit a health care professional when things like broken bones or coma-inducing concussions occur. |
| 6. | To laugh at one of Duo's jokes - just once. |
| 5. | To get his gun back from Sylvia Noventa (you never know what those quiet girls might do...) |
| 4. | To consider safety precautions when hurling himself out of one fast-moving spacecraft onto another fast-moving spacecraft. |
| 3. | To give in and accept that Preventer job - you know he wants it... |
| 2. | To finally pay Treize back for Epyon. ^_~ |
| 1. | To locate and destroy Relena's Heero-tracking device. |
| Top Ten Things Heero Put on his Xmas List: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Explosives - mass destruction requires lots of explosives |
| 9. | Teddy Bears - he needs a supply on hand for his encounters with Relena |
| 8. | More memory for his laptop - secret OZ files require lots of space |
| 7. | He also wants either a Gundam upgrade, someone to completely rebuild his, someone to give him theirs, or someone to give him a brand new one with even more maddening and hallucination inducing effects |
| 6. | This one's for Zechs: the battle to end all battles with no handicaps (like that Tallgeese's left arm), Zechs picks the spot, the time, the weapons, and gets Noin to take care of all those little things which kept interrupting them before (threats to destroy colonies which end in self-destruction, annoying OZ troops, Relena, mobile suits which control you, Dorothy's misuse of a battleship's massive destructive weapon) |
| 5. | Another shirt - although the spandex survived, his shirt wasn't so fortunate in an incident involving a botched mission, misplaced explosives, gasoline, and Duo managing to get him in the middle of it |
| 4. | A first aid kit and a helmet - although he won't admit it, he does get tired of using spare gundam parts and old rags to support one of his broken limbs and falling on his head all the time; this only cuts down on damage, though, he still won't take painkillers |
| 3. | Sleeping pills - he hasn't been getting much rest since a certain someone started stalking him, and now he doesn't have to be fighting OZ to be on the verge of death; one too many pills, bye-bye Heero! |
| 2. | The Zero system installed in his car |
| 1. | A gun that says, "Omae o korosu," for him so that he doesn't have to talk at all |
| Top Ten Holiday Events Heero's Looking Forward To: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | An on-line bonfire of all OZ's top secret data. |
| 9. | Duo singing "Silent Night" -hearing is believing. |
| 8. | The snowball fight to end all snowball fights... with Zechs. |
| 7. | Never seeing Relena and mistletoe in the same room. |
| 6. | (Finally) getting a new laptop. |
| 5. | Secretly donating teddy bears to the holiday toy drives. |
| 4. | Figuring out a present to give Treize that's as mind-warping as Epyon. |
| 3. | Hacking OZ computers while they're all at the HQ Holiday Party. |
| 2. | Having the time to win that idiotic GW game on Cartoon Network's website. |
| 1. | Hacking into the website of the A.C. 195 version of Martha Stewart and changing the recipe so that clove-studded oranges actually become incendiary devices. |
| Top Ten Items Heero would buy in bulk: Graciously donated by Shikyouta | |
|---|---|
| 10. | rolls of super-stick clear masking tape -the guy rarely blinks somehow... |
| 9. | caffeine pills -continued alertness for those long missions & nights on the laptop, looking up... stuff |
| 8. | blank computer disks -to store boat-loads of enemy info & his... stuff |
| 7. | plastic showercaps -how does his skin stay clean, yet his hair looks dirtyand scruffy? Now you know... |
| 6. | Ziploc storage bags -to hold guns, disks, self-detonation devices, etc., in his shorts (also keeps items water-tight) |
| 5. | Visine eyedrops -"gets the red out" of his death glare |
| 4. | Flintstones chewable vitamins -he's still a growing boy, don'cha know! Heero pops entire bottles like mere candy |
| 3. | green tanktops and black bikershorts -from the bargain racks at WalMart |
| 2. | foam earplugs -to block out all bakas (with any sort of braided hair-do) that are talking and/or nagging him. |
| 1. | self-destruct devices -come on, one out of a box of 1000 has to work... |
| Top Ten Things Heero did at the mall: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Refused to check his gun in with security, but was let in anyway when Relena promised he wouldn't kill anyone. |
| 9. | Threatened to kill Duo. |
| 8. | Finally gave up on keeping Duo in line, sat down on a bench, and stared at the wall. |
| 7. | Had a staring contest with Zechs, who also didn't seem to be into the mall thing. |
| 6. | Bought a backup pair of spandex. |
| 5. | Saw Relena in the Hallmark shop and shredded the invitations she was looking at when her back was turned. |
| 4. | Hid behind a potted palm to avoid Relena. |
| 3. | Tried to self-destruct while playing in the arcade. Also won a stuffed teddy bear in the shooting gallery. |
| 2. | Hung out in the parking lot, was almost mugged (but he did his usual "Omae o korosu" pointing-his-gun-inches-from-the-person's-face thing). |
| 1. | Finally got bored and went to sit in the car. |
| Top Ten Oscars Heero could win: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Most Creative Use of Grunts |
| 9. | Most Insane Laugh While Killing People |
| 8. | Best Use of a Threat That Seems to be a Guarantee That It Won't Happen ("Omae o korosu / I'm going to kill you.") |
| 7. | Best Recovery from Stunts Involving Falling From Great Heights onto Hard Surfaces on the Face or Head |
| 6. | Best Scene Involving Relena, the Wind, and a Birthday Party Invitation |
| 5. | Most Economical Costume |
| 4. | Best Romance Scene Involving a Laptop and Nothing Else |
| 3. | Most Lucky Escapes From Being Killed by a Tall, Blond Man |
| 2. | Quickest Promise Ever Broken in the Same Scene as it was Made (Relena: Tell me before you leave! Heero: *nods* Relena: *turns her back to get into a car* Heero: *leaves without a word*) |
| 1. | Best Aim in a Shooting Role (take that, Libra fragment!) |
| Top Ten Jeopardy Categories for Heero: (for best effect, insert the phrase, "I'll take" before each category and "for 300, Alex" after) | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Painful Ways to Not-Quite-Die |
| 9. | Terrorist Wardrobe Maintenance |
| 8. | Easy Care hairstyles |
| 7. | Famous Explosions |
| 6. | Japanese Threats |
| 5. | Medical Self-Help |
| 4. | Grunts & Their Meanings |
| 3. | Stalking Laws |
| 2. | Temperamental Blonds |
| 1. | Hackers & Crackers |
| Top Ten Signs You're Hanging Out With Heero Too Much Graciously donated by Tataragami | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Whenever your boyfriend/girlfriend wears their hair in a braid, you have the strangest urge to grab ahold and yank. |
| 9. | You keep your thumb in good shape just in case you have that little run-in with an oppressive organization. |
| 8. | You begin to think of the highborn girls at your school as annoying pests, but you can never seem to go through with those death threats. (Ripping up all those birthday invitations doesn't seem to help, either.) |
| 7. | You begin to believe that having scruffy hair is an asset; it doesn't even look messy when you're thrown out of an exploding mobile suit. |
| 6. | You actually know the brand name of those explosion-proof clothes Heero wears... |
| 5. | ...and you buy a few outfits for yourself. (not too many... it IS a one-style-for-every-occasion company, after all) |
| 4. | You go to all the car part shops in town looking for a self-destruct device for your car in case you get stuck in traffic. |
| 3. | In an attempt to change your grades at your school with your newly-acquired hacking skills, you end up deleting all the files, trashing the PA system, destroying various parts of the school complex, and limping home barely alive (but your clothes still impeccable). |
| 2. | Your family stops giving you chores because you keep referring to them as "missions" and you almost always manage to blow something up before you finish them. |
| 1. | You really begin to pick up on all that tone inflection when somebody says "Hn." |
| Heero's Top Ten Uses for a Paper Clip: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | destructive device #1: use to twist a rubber band around a pack of matches next to something flammable at an OZ base. BWAHAHAHA!!! |
| 9. | to eject disks from his trusty but battered lap-top |
| 8. | shape it into a friendship ring for Relena - maybe that will stop her from exposing all his hiding places... |
| 7. | self-destruct device #1: stick it into Wing's XXX and then fall on it |
| 6. | use it to help set his own bones bone when Duo's hair clips aren't available |
| 5. | destructive device #2 -put chewing gum on it (Big Red™ is best) and stick it into any nearby OZ computer. heh heh heh... |
| 4. | use it as a keyboard cleaner when Duo decides to eat peanut butter cookies while looking over Heero's shoulder |
| 3. | use it as self-defense against Relena (when she moves in for all those close-ups and refuses to stop) |
| 2. | self-destruct device #2 - use it to short circuit Wing's beam rifle. Both he and Wing can go up in the explosion. Happy Heero! |
| 1. | wear it in a piercing somewhere on his body to blend in at the "Alternative School" he's been assigned to infiltrate |
| Top Ten Things You're Likely to Find in Heero's Fridge/Freezer: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | miso paste |
| 9. | bullets - chilling them keeps the gunpowder fresher (and makes you suffer more when you load your gun) |
| 8. | several half-eaten cartons of mint chocolate-chip ice cream (they're Duo's) |
| 7. | leather (in the freezer) - to bite down on while setting his own bones |
| 6. | several heart-shaped boxes of chocolate from Relena (he wants to throw them out but, strangely, can't make himself do it) |
| 5. | liquid nitrogen for putting his arm into during pain-resistence practice |
| 4. | ten poptop cans of green tea |
| 3. | Pocky™ -he likes the Marble kind, chilled |
| 2. | a souvenir snowball from the duel with Zechs in Antarctica |
| 1. | his own appendix, in formaldehyde, which, of course, he removed himself |
| Top Ten Signs That Heero Needs a New Mech: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The Zero System tells him he needs one. |
| 9. | He's already self-destructed in the one he has now. He's ready for a new kind of suicide. |
| 8. | He's seen someone else's that he hasn't borrowed yet. |
| 7. | Zechs keeps knocking the buster rifle out of the mech's hand "just for fun." |
| 6. | The cockpit door is too close to the ground. He's not getting enough brain damage when he falls out of it onto his face. |
| 5. | Duo hid one of those joke boxes in the cockpit that scream, "Let me out! Let me out!!!" and it can't be found. |
| 4. | He's already threatened to kill everyone using the mech he has now. |
| 3. | The cockpit is too comfortable. He's a soldier. He's meant to suffer. |
| 2. | Relena has his cockpit cell phone number. |
| 1. | The self-destruct button is broken. |
| Top Ten Products or Services We'd Like to See / & Rather Not See Heero Endorse: | |
|---|---|
| Like to see: | |
| 10. | Automatic garage doors: we see him lift the little control box, press the button, and... the garage explodes. |
| 9. | Health Care - "We've got five clinics in town, but don't clog them with minor ailments you can easily take care of at home. Broken bones, for example." |
| 8. | Two-in-One hair products -"They do the job right, whether you're washing your hair in blood or mobile suit fuel." |
| 7. | Stuffed animals - *holds out stuffed bear* "World Leaders love them." |
| 6. | Gap jeans (from the Endless Waltz Collection) - All he'd have to do is come out and stare into the camera. Kind of what Gap models do anyway.) |
| Would Rather Not See: | |
| 5. | Membership in the National Rifle Association. (scary!) |
| 4. | FTD Florists' Birthday Bouquet (yes siree, it would come with it's own shredded birthday invitation...) |
| 3. | The J. Crew Men's Buy-Five-Pieces-Make-Twenty-Different-Outfits collection. |
| 2. | Workshops on "How to Mingle in Any Social Situation" |
| 1. | Happy Meals |
| Top Ten Signs That You're on a Date With Heero: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Your date self-destructs when the film credits start rolling... |
| 9. | ...but it doesn't kill him - he just bleeds into your popcorn. |
| 8. | You say you'd like to see him again and he looks shocked, puts a hand up to his face and says, "Did you see?!?" |
| 7. | He flirts over drinks by plugging into the Zero system and growling, "I know who my true date is!!" |
| 6. | You open the door, dressed to the nines for the Opera, only to find a vision in spandex waiting for you. |
| 5. | Instead of movies or dinners, you keep finding yourself recruited into planting explosives at the nearest OZ base. |
| 4. | Over dinner, you start feeling that you really understand him when he says, "Hn." |
| 3. | Your date's wardrobe is simple, efficient, and can stand up to the blast from a self-destructing gundam without a rip. |
| 2. | You know you really mean something to your date when he looks into your eyes and whispers, "I'm going to kill you"... |
| 1. | ...and then destroys a building in frustration because he can't make himself go through with it. |
| Top Ten Reasons to Like Heero (repost from Shinigami's first week, July 1999): | |
|---|---|
| 10. | He's planning on killing Relena (no offense meant, R fans - I just had to!) |
| 9. | No mission-delaying costume changes - he's a one outfit kinda guy. |
| 8. | The Queen of the World is in love with him... |
| 7. | ... and so is the cutest gundam pilot! |
| 6. | That intimidating death stare - really let's people know they have his attention. |
| 5. | He's the (inhumanly) strong, (maddeningly) silent type. |
| 4. | The pity factor - he crashes his Gundam right off and has to borrow them for the next 18 episodes or so. |
| 3. | You gotta love a man with indestructible clothing... |
| 2. | ...and they're stain-resistant, too! |
| 1. | "Omae o korosu" - you'll know you've been targeted for death by the best in the business. |
| Heero's Top Ten Vacation Destinations When GW comes to the U.S.: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Cape Canaveral, Florida -he'll visit NASA's Kennedy Space Center and try to smuggle a rocket booster out in his shorts. |
| 9. | Ashland, Virginia - he wants to ride the Volcano Blastcoaster at King's Dominion Amusement Park. Standing up. |
| 8. | Chicago, Illinois - gotta visit Niketown for a new pair of sneaks. |
| 7. | Los Angeles, California - needs new spandex as well. |
| 6. | Cupertino, California -he'll trade his battered computer for a new Macintosh G4 laptop. Comes bundled with OZ codes. |
| 5. | New York, New York - he'll feel right at home among all the other people with glares on their faces. |
| 4. | Baltimore, Maryland - he can visit Johns Hopkins Hospital and help out by setting the broken bones without anesthesia. |
| 3. | San Francisco, California - he'll be one of the few to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and actually survive. |
| 2. | Colorado Springs, Colorado - he's inclined to hide from Relena in one of N.O.R.A.D.'s underground bunkers. |
| 1. | Chicago, Illinois, revisited - he'll climb the Sears Tower, lean over the edge, and scare the bejeezus out of Duo. |
| Top Ten Things Heero Has to be Thankful For: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Relena's the type of girl who is easily distracted with teddy bears. |
| 9. | Having a hairstyle that always looks as if you just woke up - great for those hectic mornings before a mission. |
| 8. | No matter where a person comes from - any place on Earth - he/she understands at least some Japanese: "Omae o korosu." |
| 7. | Trowa was really good at using Heavyarms' Great Big Fingers for picking up itty bitty Heero. |
| 6. | At least in A.C. 195, laptop computers seem to run on air. |
| 5. | Zechs' obssessive sense of fairness - hey it got him his gundam back and a free trip to the South Pole! |
| 4. | Spandex... expands. |
| 3. | Indestructible, industrial-strength skin. |
| 2. | The good Lord saw fit to create Duo Maxwell. |
| 1. | The same good Lord only created one. |
| Top Ten Ways Heero has for Saying 'No' to a Date: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The obvious: Rip to shreds any handy object inches from the asker's face... |
| 9. | ...the proceed to remind him/her that you do sincerely mean to kill him/her at a yet-to-be-determined time & place |
| 8. | Say yes, and that ask if assassinations are an acceptable dating activity. If they say yes, remind them that the assassination will be their own. |
| 7. | Listen to the request for a date, stare at them coldly, say "Hn," and walk away. Note: this does not work on all people. |
| 6. | Without looking up from your laptop, say in an icy voice, "Mission not accepted." |
| 5. | Say you'll only come if they'll make out with you in your Gundam and, at the crucial moment, allow you to use the self-destruct device. Act almost excited when you describe that last part. |
| 4. | Accept, but remind him/her that you cannot guarantee to keep having moments of conscience where you won't kill him/her. |
| 3. | If the date is to someplace swanky, insist that you'll wear your spandex. |
| 2. | Tell the asker that you already gave to that charity on the battle field. Walk away crisply as the asker turns beet red. |
| 1. | Grab the baka's braid and say, "Date? Hn! Why waste time, we've got the room to ourselves!" |
| Top Ten Signs that Heero has had Too Much to Drink: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | He opens the hatch on Zero, it raises and he spins around and whispers, "Zero... omae o korosu." |
| 9. | The pilots are treated to prolonged sessions of Heero singing, "Nobody Knows the Trouble I See." |
| 8. | He decides to write Relena a "Dear Jane" letter... |
| 7. | ...and asks Wu Fei to help him. |
| 6. | He tells all of his "moments-of-self-destruction-that-got-away" stories. |
| 5. | He calls Relena and says he's changed his mind: he would like to come to her birthday party - and can he bring a date? |
| 4. | He decides not to jump into the deep end of the pool because it looks "too far down." |
| 3. | He remarks that he really needs some different clothes - and asks Duo if he can borrow some. |
| 2. | He e-mails Zechs a message with two little words: "You win." |
| 1. | He (finally!) puts the moves on Duo. |
| Heero's Top Ten Essential School Supplies for Success in OZ-controlled Schools: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | OZ pencil case that transforms into a self-destruct device. |
| 9. | Protractor for calculating missile trajectories from the cafeteria to the auto shop. |
| 8. | Absorbing novel with no distinguishable title (for focusing attention when Duo comes to say hi). |
| 7. | Tiny rubber band beam weapons (looks like the real thing but can take out any teachers on the OZ payroll.) |
| 6. | Lots and lots of floppy disks (actually whatever the equivalent is in A.C. 195) for downloading OZ data & Duo pics. |
| 5. | Alibis for why he missed tryouts for all the teams last year. |
| 4. | Running shoes for quick escapes from screaming/swooning high school girls... |
| 3. | ...Ear plugs for the same. |
| 2. | Portable first aid kit for paper cuts received when tearing frivolous birthday invitations into so much confetti. |
| 1. | Duo. |
| Heero's Top Ten Favorite Comfort Foods: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Unsweetened all-bran cereal, no milk. (Makes him feel tough.) |
| 9. | Scrambled eggs with just a dash of gunpowder. |
| 8. | Cyanide - or any other quick-acting poison. |
| 7. | Anything that would tend to disgust Duo early in the morning. |
| 6. | Zero bars! |
| 5. | Flat food that can be slid underneath the door of a school's computer lab: tortillas, matzo, fruit roll-ups (unrolled.) |
| 4. | Fugu (blowfish) - when he's feeling ethnic and somewhat suicidal. |
| 3. | Twizzler's licorice pull-aparts (they remind him of Duo's braid...) |
| 2. | Anything that can be slipped down the front of a tank top without showing. |
| 1. | Slim-fast energy bars and iced green tea.Rip, chew, chug, blast-off. And there's no pressure on the spandex. |
| Top Ten Things Heero Liked/Bought/Did on the GWing Disneyland Road Trip: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Bought the Disney Classic Collector's Edition of Tron. |
| 9. | Went on Space Mountain 15 times - refused to let Duo sit in the front. |
| 8. | Despite years of intense training and lots of experience in the Zero System, still experienced a wave of nausea after going on the Tea Cup ride with Duo and Quatre. |
| 7. | Secretly took a picture of Duo, braid dangling, leaning out of the window of Sleeping Beauty's Castle. |
| 6. | Lost the Tom Sawyer's Raft Race due to time spent looking for its self-destruct device. |
| 5. | Bought a green tank top with a small Tarzan embroidered on it. |
| 4. | Had to be caught after throwing himself off the top of the Matterhorn ride and plummeting toward the ground, head first. Fear not, the other G-Boys had expected it and were there with a net. |
| 3. | Thought Star Tours wasn't realistic (or painful ) enough. |
| 2. | Wanted, for some reason, to drag Duo onto the Pirates of the Carribean ride over and over... |
| 1. | Was glomped by the guy wearing the Mickey outfit, to whom he muttered, "Omae o korosu." |
| Top Ten Things to Talk About with Kodomo no Omocha's Hayama Akito: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The right intonation to use when saying, "Omae o korosu" to irritating cast members. |
| 9. | Being in love triangles with cool but obssessive types who have great connections (Relena, Nazumi) and goofy chatterboxes that get your blood racing - fury, desire, etc. (Duo, Sana). |
| 8. | Being stoic. |
| 7. | Whether the jump from best friend to more-than-friends is really worth it. |
| 6. | How to relax those facial muscles after a day of holding them in one position. |
| 5. | Birth families that don't want you. Awwww... : ( |
| 4. | The ups and downs of being well-known "lone wolves." |
| 3. | How Hayama might explore the power and freedom of using beam weapons on Nazumi. |
| 2. | How Heero might explore the power and freedom that comes with going SD. |
| 1. | The romantic power of never saying one word - brings 'em to their knees. |
| Heero's Top Ten Reasons for Preferring Gundams to Humans: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Nothing stands in the way of important daily tasks like going insane and destroying large military installations. |
| 9. | They're just like you: always ready to go with irritations like grooming and laundry taken care of by programming. |
| 8. | They never monopolize the conversation. |
| 7. | Actually, they don't believe in conversation. |
| 6. | They never follow you around the world - they're happy to wait for you to come to them. |
| 5. | They don't come after you screaming about honor and justice - unless their pilots want them to, of course. |
| 4. | It is physically impossible for them to even appear to be making cow eyes at you. |
| 3. | The only social skill they have is looking damned intimidating - then people leave them alone. |
| 2. | You never have to say, "Omae wo korosu" to a gundam. |
| 1. | There is precious little chance that you will ever hear a gundam at your back whining, "Heeeeero..." |
The End
(:./kumiko/top1)
