25-Jul-2001
Title: The Babysitter - The Sleepover
Authors: Wufei is WHAT?!? Productions (Yoiko and Tzigane)
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Type: Humorous Fic-stuffs ~_^v
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13? Not sure.
Pairings: None, really. ^_^
Warnings: Cuteness. Wistful longings of a yaoi nature.
Uncontrollable teenage hormones. Chef Boyardee ravioli.
Disclaimers: We don't own Gundam Wing, and the Gundam Wing characters are used here without permission. This is a work of fanfiction, intended solely for entertainment purposes, and is not meant to be taken as a claim to copyright for the elements in the story which were not created by us. Also, we intend no disrespect whatsoever towards the creators and rightful owners of Gundam Wing.
Archive: Gundam Wing Addiction
C&C: Please, feel free. ^_^
"Could've been strangled with his own braid," Heero suggested, picking up another cookie and nibbling on it with an ever-so-slightly pouty look on his face. "I wish we could have ice cream."
"Me, too," Wufei agreed glumly. "I really hope Duo hasn't bled all over my carpet..."
Mirialdo was sweating as he attempted to put things in their place according to Duo's directions. "...an' the white horse goes in the third... Um, seventh... Um, I don't know which hole it goes in, but it doesn't go in that one!"
"You are just making this up to be a pest!" Miri snapped.
"I am NOT a pest!" Duo cried, deeply affronted. "I'm a GOOD boy!"
"You are a royal pain in the patoot!"
Duo gasped in horror. "You can't say 'patoot' to me! I'm gonna go tell Mister Treize on you!"
"Not until after we finish cleaning up this mess," Miri stated firmly.
"You're so smart, clean it up yourself," Duo shot back, and stalked out of the room. Over his shoulder, he added, "Mr. Smarty-Pants."
"Hey, wook!" Trowa said. "Wufei's got a mewmaid to pway with!"
"Thure!" Quatre told him. "My thithter'th have *lotth* of them. Daddy doethn't like for me to play with them, though. I with my daddy would let me have toyth like Wufei'th Daddy doeth!"
*WOOOSH* went the little mermaid under the surface of the bathwater in one wet little pruned hand. "I'ww be the Daddy mewmaid if you be the Mommy mewmaid!"
"Thure!" Quatre said happily, and they commenced to play further, despite the fact that they were rapidly on their way to becoming water-raisins.
"Maybe Mister Treize *did* bury him under the roses," Wufei said to Heero. "It's too quiet."
"I'm bored," Heero whined. "We've been sitting here for a long, long, long time."
"Heero!" Duo cried, bounding in from the hallway. "I missed you! Did you miss me?"
"No. Go 'way," Heero said, disappointed to see that Duo wasn't dead. It would've been entertaining, trying to figure out where Treize had hidden the body.
"Well, I missed you lots," Duo said, walking up to the seated boy and hugging him.
"Ack! Don't touch me!" Heero tried to push the long-haired boy away, only to discover that Duo had more arms than an octopus. The only way to get away from him would be to hit hard and then run fast... but Treize had told him to stay right where he was. There was no escape...
"Love ya, Hee-chan!" Duo crowed, and planted a kiss on the horrified boy's cheek.
Heero burst into tears.
"Look what you did!" Wufei said. "You're bad, bad, bad, Duo Maxwell!"
"I am not!" Duo shouted, patting Heero clumsily on the back.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"CHILDREN!!!!" The rousing thunder of Treize's voice from the kitchen doorway was somewhat shocking to all of them. "Would you *please* stop!?"
Heero pointed at Duo and tried to explain, but he was sobbing so hard nobody could understand him. Duo continued patting him in spite of Heero's efforts to push him away, which elicited muffled shrieks of outrage among the blubbering. It was bad enough to be kissed by someone other than his Mama. It was worse to be SEEN crying. But the absolute epitome of degradation was to have Duo *touching* him as he cried! The only thing that could possibly make it worse would be...
"Heero!" Relena crowed, peeking around Treize's leg with her still- tangled hair making a demented halo around her wide-eyed face. "Why is Heero crying? I'll give you a kiss to make it better, Heero!" With that she zipped past Treize, planted a big wet kiss on Heero's other cheek, and gave Duo a raspberry.
"I WANT MY MAMA!" Heero shrieked at the top of his lungs.
At Treize's shout, Wufei had begun to tear up as well, and so for a moment, Treize could only stand in the kitchen door helplessly watching. The two children who were ordinarily his *best* children to keep were bawling, the two worst were now tugging Heero by either arm, and the last two...
"Oh, NO!" Treize groaned. "They're still in the tub!"
Hurrying forward, he grabbed a squirming Duo by the waist and picked him up, despite being bitten on the wrist in return. He then reached forward and grasped Relena, who shrieked, "I'm a LADY!" and bit him on the hand.
"Trowa! Quatre! Get out of the tub!" Treize shouted through the bathroom door, not wanting to endure the sheer volume of shrieks that would result if he brought Relena into the same room as two naked boys.
"Aw! Mistew Tweize!"
"But we're not through thcrubbing each other'th backth!"
"OUT of the tub!" he called back over a shoulder, toting the two kicking and screaming children into Chang Wynn's room. The bed had been freshly made with more white sheets, the white bedspread still in the wash, and the carpet had been cleaned (though Treize could *still* swear that he saw the blotches of orange!). "Now, then. Both of you are going to listen to me!"
"Ladies don't get yelled at!" Relena announced haughtily. Duo was looking guilty and hanging his head. He had no idea what he'd done wrong, but the fact that Mister Treize was upset with him... it was almost enough to make *him* cry, too!
"Please don't be mad at me, Mister Treize," he said in a wavering voice. "I wasn't being bad, honest!"
Treize sighed softly. "I know you don't mean to be bad, Duo." /You just can't help it,/ he thought dryly. "Now, it's bedtime. Relena, *you're* going to sleep on the *left* side of this bed. Duo, you're going to sleep on the right..."
"You mean we have to go to bed right NOW?" Duo asked, horrified.
"I can't share a bed with a BOY!" Relena gasped, even more horrified. "Ladies don't DO that!"
"Yes," Treize replied in exasperation, "you have to go to bed *right* now. And you aren't sharing a bed with a boy, *or*," he told Duo, "a girl, either. There's an invisible wall down the middle of the bed that disintegrates if you try to touch it that makes it two beds. So, stay on your own side and you won't get cooties, and Relena, you stay on *your* side, and you won't have to share a bed with a boy. Got that?"
"If you ruin the invisible wall, I'll smack you," Relena said with a glare at Duo. "That's what ladies do with boys who try to jump in their beds."
"I wouldn't touch that wall if you paid me!" Duo snarled. "I don't want your nasty old cooties."
"Fine, whatever," Treize said, pressing against his temple with one hand. "But no talking, and no smacking each other. And before you think of anything else, don't do that either. You just lie here," he said, lifting first Duo and then Relena onto their respective sides of the bed, "and don't move, and don't talk. Just sleep. Understand?"
"Yes, Mister Treize," two thoroughly cowed and unhappy children replied.
"But I'm still gonna tell my Daddy on you," Relena said.
"No talking until he gets here," Treize said firmly. Relena opened her mouth, then closed it and gave him a venomous glare. God, but that 'little princess' could be a brat! Treize left, still holding his head, and missed seeing the two children sticking their tongues out at each other.
"I don't underthtand why Mithter Treithe got tho upthet," Quatre said, pulling a pajama top with a Barbie doll on it over his wet little torso.
"He's vewy odd, Mistew Tweize," Trowa agreed, struggling with his own Superman pjs.
Miri sighed and shook his head, frowning. "Hurry up, you two. I have to go back and stand guard while Heero takes a bath!"
"Don't wook, Miwi," the green-eyed little boy said as he pulled on his pajama top. "If you wook at Heewo while he's taking a bath, he'ww be vewy upset!"
Quatre nodded, climbing into the bed with only his top and his underwear on. "Yeth. That would be terrible!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just hurry up," Miri said, trying not to smirk as a devilish idea crept into his head. He'd never been one to turn down a challenge...
Finishing pulling on his pjs, Trowa climbed up into the guest room bed and curled up beside Quatre. "You be good, Miwi," he said with all the stern inflection a small child could use.
"Yeth," Quatre said sleepily. "Be good!"
"Oh, I'll be good," Miri replied, rolling his eyes in feigned innocence. He'd consider it, anyway. As soon as the two water- raisins were tucked in for the night, Miri left, his smirk widening as he strode out into the hall. The only sounds from the guest room were hushed whispering and the occasional muffled giggle, as Trowa and Quatre played under the covers with the dolls they'd managed to smuggle into their pj's.
"Heero, time for your bath," Miri said, walking into the kitchen to see Heero scrubbing the last of his tears away.
"Mister Treize told us to stay right here," Heero croaked in a voice made rough by wailing.
"That's ok, he told me to tell you bath-time. And Wufei, he'll be here for you in just a minute. ok?"
"Ok," Heero said, and slid out of the chair with relief, rubbing the backs of his legs where the seat had left a fading reddish impression. Miri led the way to the master bedroom, intending to let Heero use the bathtub there.
The dark-haired boy froze as they walked into the room and he saw his chief tormentors.
"I can't take a bath in there!" he hissed. "They'll look at me!"
"They won't look at you," Miri said, "I promise."
"Yes, they will. They're only pretending to sleep."
"I am not!" Relena said.
"Shut up!" Duo hissed at her. "Mister Treize will be mad if he hears us talking!"
"See?" Heero asked, crossing his arms. "I'm not taking my clothes off if they're gonna be here."
Miri sighed. "Look. You go in the bathroom and take your bath. I'll stand in front of the door, and I won't let anyone in."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
"You swear?"
"Just get in there, already!"
"...and the white duckie, and the white mermaid, and the shark, except he's not white, but that's okay," Wufei said, "he'll be under the bubbles, and I don't have to look at him!"
"That's right," Treize told him evenly, "you won't have to see him at all!" Once he'd managed to get Duo and Relena settled, and checked on Trowa and Quatre, he'd gone back to the kitchen to tell Wufei it was time to take a bath. The boy had promptly stripped off all of his clothes as he ran towards the bathroom, naked before he even got there.
Chang Wynn's son certainly had no concept of *modesty*.
The thought of Wufei's father caused an uncomfortable moment, but then it was right back to business, getting Wufei into the freshly- run bubble bath and scrubbing him. "I'm going to wash your hair now, all right?"
"Hokay," Wufei said easily, playing with the mermaid his father had painted white for him.
And as he washed Wufei's hair, listening to the little boy hum happily and play with his mermaid, he thanked God that there was only *one* Duo Maxwell and *one* Relena Peacecraft, and the rest of the children he babysat didn't mind bathing half as much.
Miri waited by the door, glad that the master bathroom was structured the way it was. There was a wall separating the bedroom from the dressing area and bathroom. As long as Duo and Relena stayed in bed, nobody would be the wiser...
He debated with himself internally for a few minutes. Heero really didn't want anyone to look at him, and if he knew it would upset him. And he'd promised. On the other hand, it was an all but irresistible challenge... and he'd only promised not to let anyone in. He hadn't actually said he wouldn't peek.
He waited till he heard the sound of water running, and he cracked the door open just slightly. Heero was peeling off his shorts, completely unaware of his avid audience. Miri watched until the naked boy had clambered up into the tub, then he carefully pulled the door closed, grinning.
Mission accomplished.
Treize put the hair dryer down and smiled as Wufei flung his arms about his neck. "Thank you, Mister Treize," the boy said, nodding. "I app.. app... I'm glad you did that."
"You're welcome, Wufei," Treize said, smiling. "Let's get you into your pajamas, okay? Let's see... would you like to wear white, white or white?"
"Silly Mister Treize!" Wufei giggled. "White! And then can we watch a movie? Heero said the Terminator would be a good one to see."
"We're not watching the Terminator," Treize said, helping Wufei pull the pajamas over slightly-damp skin. "How about 'Peter Pan' instead?"
"I like Peter Pan," Wufei said, though it was muffled through his pajama top. His head popped out of the white top and then Treize slid on his white underwear and pajama bottoms. "Especially because he can *fly*. The only bad thing is that he wears green, but that's better than red," he decided.
Wufei hated red with a *passion*.
"Well, tell you what. I'll tuck you in and go see if Heero is done, and the two of you can watch Peter Pan in your room, all right?" Treize said with a smile.
"Okay," Wufei said with a little laugh.
After a few minutes of business-like splashing, Mirialdo heard the water draining out of the tub, and then the door opened, revealing a damp but clean little boy in powder-blue pj's with footies and a flap in the back.
"Kawaii..." Miri said, surprised.
"Done," Heero said, scowling at being called 'cute.' "Touch the back flap and omae o korosu."
"I won't touch it, I promise," Miri said.
"Good."
"But you're not done till you've combed your hair."
"I did."
"Did not."
"Did, too."
"Did not."
"Did, too."
"I can tell looking at it that you didn't comb it!"
"Did, too."
"Look, just come over here and stand still," Mirialdo said, exasperated, and grabbed Heero by the arm (carefully avoiding that oh- so-tempting back flap) and steered him over to the counter. Heero stoically glared up at him as he dragged a comb through the thick hair, forcing it into a nice, neat style...
...and it sprang messily back into place.
"Toldya."
Head firmly nestled on Treize's shoulder, thumb plopped in his mouth and sucked tight, sturdy little legs holding him on his baby-sitter's hip, Wufei was happy. He was fighting sleep, but Treize was going to let him watch Peter Pan, and his friend Heero was going to get to stay in his room with him.
Wufei was *decidedly* happy...
...until the light in his bedroom came on and he took a look around.
"MAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" Wufei screamed angrily, taking in the sight of his bedroom. Everything in it was perfectly white. Even his toys, stuck in their little niches in flawless arrangement, were white, and everything was perfectly put away.
In the wrong spot.
In spots of which Chang Wufei did *not* approve!
"You let DUO in!" he shouted, beginning to cry. "My room is a mess! My room is a *MESS*!! And I'll bet you let him have *black crayon*!!!"
"Wufei," Treize said, in shock, "everything is put away, your room is as neat as it alwa..."
"It is *NOT*!" Wufei sobbed, truly working himself into a righteous frenzy. "My ducky goes in the *third* cubby and my bear goes in the *fourth* one and my..."
Tiredly, Treize sighed and put him down, beginning to put things back into their place so that Chang Wufei would be a happy little boy again. There were times he really wished he'd chosen some other part- time job. It was really too bad that no one in interior design ever needed teenage employees.
"It's all your fault we don't get to see the movie," Duo hissed under his breath.
"No, it's your fault!" Relena hissed back.
"No, it's your fault!"
"No, it's yours!"
"Yours!"
"Yours!"
"Did you brush your teeth?" Mirialdo asked.
"Yes. I said I was done." The reply was accompanied by the crossing of little arms and a sullen glare.
"Look, it's a reasonable question," Miri said. "And stop looking at me like that."
"Are you going to try to brush my teeth for me, too?" Heero asked, still glaring. His head ached from Mirialdo's efforts to comb his hair; on his second attempt to make the thick mass lay flat, the blond had somehow gotten the teeth firmly tangled in Heero's still- wet bangs, and a good amount of dark hair had come out when the comb was finally pulled free. Miri was just thankful that, unlike Relena or even Duo, Heero wasn't a shrieker when it came to tangles.
"Do I need to?"
"No," Heero said, still sullen. "I want to keep my teeth *in* my head."
Mirialdo stifled a sigh; he guiltily had to admit to himself that the kid had a legitimate grievance. "Look, let's just get you settled in Wufei's room, okay? Treize said you two could watch a movie."
"The Terminator?" Heero asked, forgetting to be sullen in his enthusiasm.
"Uh... I dunno," Miri said. "Let's go find out, okay?" He grabbed hold of Heero's hand and led him to Wufei's room, and Heero was so excited about the prospect of watching 'The Terminator,' he didn't remember to protest against being touched.
"...and the little white fire truck goes on the bottom," Wufei said, "and the crayons and the coloring books go in the drawer and... wait, *check* the crayons. They've never been used. And..."
"Yours!!"
"*YOURS*!!!!"
"Zthththththth," snored Quatre.
"......" snored Trowa.
End Part 4
(:./yoiko/sitter5)
