Title: Death & the Phoenix
Author: Ebonydove
Pairings: 1+2, 3+4
Author's Notes: don't worry, there will be sap soon.
Warnings: Language, fluff, Duo-torture, angst, some slight OOC, maybe some spoilers, liberal literary use of characters that I don't own, the usual.

Death And The Phoenix by Ebonydove

Part Ten: Where did The Good Times Go?

"Heero, Wufei has finished hacking the mainframe and erasing our files and has discharged us from the school database. We got everything we need from the University and will rondevue in two day s at the specified location." Trowa sent the coordinates over the secured channel and signed off.

A moment later his communications light blinked. Another message on the secure line. "Heero, it's Quatre. When you find Duo, tell him... tell him to play it cool, all right?"

"Roger that. See you in two days." Heero killed the line and shut down the communication feed all together. He had very little time to find Duo.

Duo had left the book of Shakespeare with a note to Father McGuinness at the St. Benedict's Church. At his request, Heero had returned it to the rectory before heading to the cave where his Gundam was securely hidden. He read the poem again before powering up Wing and taking off into the night sky, leaving the University far behind him. The words rolled around and around in his head whispering of death and of things that could never be. It echoed of their current state, and Heero could only hope that the ending was far different than the poem.

Heero arrived at Howard's forty minutes later and saw the camouflage tarp over a huge object that could only be Deathscythe. He landed Wing unceremoniously on deck and rappelled down out of the cockpit to the ground with the grace of landing bird. Four sweepers immediately met him, saw who it was and secured Wing. "Where's Duo?"

The sweepers gave each other an odd look not knowing what exactly was going on, and pointed the way to Peacemillion's lower depths. "He's with Howard below."

One man led Heero down a narrow set of metal stairs and then through a long hallway. He could hear voices at the end of the corridor, but not Duo's. He scanned the area completely, taking note of weapons, doors and stairwells, just in case he had put his trust in the wrong people. When they got to the last door at the end of the corridor, the man stepped aside and let Heero in. All eyes immediately met his as the walked through the door into the small room. "Duo?"

Howard nodded to the others, and they quickly left the two alone. "He's getting' some shut eye. He told me you'd be coming, but I don't think he realized you'd get here so fast."

"Where?" Heero growled at the older man, his hand unconsciously moving to where his gun lay against his back.

"I'll take you, but first I gotta ask you something, 01." Howard's smile turned into a serious expression and he removed his dark shades, meeting the piercing cobalt blue stare of the Wing pilot. "Do ya love him?" Heero raised an eyebrow at the frankness of the question and didn't say anything. "See, I've known the kid longer than anyone, as long as that damn Professor G, and although he'd never come out and say it, he's scared. He's afraid he's gonna lose everything that he ever cared about. I've never seen him like this." Howard paused and looked at Heero's unchanging expression. "That's why I gotta know. 'Cause if you came here you help him, that's great. But if you came here to for any other reason, I'll kill you where you stand."

Heero looked into those eyes and was grateful that Duo had a friend like this. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

Howard's whole body relaxed moving his finger away from the shotgun he had pointed at Heero from under the desk. "Good, he's two doors down on the left." Heero turned and opened the door to go down the hallway and find Duo. "I'm glad he fell for a punk like you, Heero. You deserve each other." He added with a smile watching the Wing pilot move purposely to where Duo was sleeping.

Heero opened the door silently and immediately found the sprawled figure of Duo on a cot in the darkest corner of the small room. He made no further move to enter, but stood in the doorway watching the boy sleep for a few moments. Then he cautiously entered and shut the door behind him. "You can put the safety back on."

Duo slowly opened one eye and let a slow smile spread across his face. "Never could get the one up on you."

"You're getting pretty good at that." Heero said conversationally from the other side of the room.

"Faking sleep? Well I did learn from the master." Duo opened both eyes and sat up some on the bunk, placing the handgun in front of him to lie flat on the bunk. "You got here four hours earlier than I thought you would."

"Why'd you run?" Heero had slipped into his impassable façade once again, not giving Duo any clues to his thoughts or emotions as he watched him carefully. He seemed fatigued, but none the worse for wear.

"I needed to sort some things out." Duo sat up and hung his long legs off the side of the bunk and motioned for Heero to join him.

Heero slowly crossed the room and sat on the bunk, not looking at Duo at all, but kept his eyes firmly affixed to the floor. "And did you?"

"Sort of." Duo shot a glance to Heero to see if there were any traces of anger from his abrupt departure from Sally's office and the University. After hearing the news that he was suffering from the residual affects of being infected with the L2 plagues' supposed 'miracle cure vaccine' and that the vaccine itself had been nothing but a conspiracy to eliminate the unwanted population on L2 he had needed to run. He needed to regain his perspective and ground himself before deciding on how to proceed, and he certainly couldn't do that in front of the others. Especially Heero.

He knew they'd be worried and he was sure that Heero would be angry for shutting him out, but at the time it hadn't mattered. At the time all he could think about was all the people he loved and cherished slipping away and that he very well could have been the last nail in their coffins. He was as responsible for their deaths as the twisted people who doled out the vaccine in the first place. The dark hole he had deep within him grew exponentially after hearing what Sally had discovered, and it threatened to consume what little hold he had on his tormented soul.

"Are you still angry with me?" Heero asked quietly.

"Yes." Duo looked at his hands, then back to Heero. "No."

"I wasn't trying to keep things from you."

"It doesn't matter, Heero. I understand that you just followed what you were taught. I guess I was too close to it to see that at the time. I thought you didn't trust me." Duo let out a small laugh. "Probably thought I'd fly off the handle and do something rash, huh?"

"It wasn't about trust. I thought I was protecting you." Heero shook his head a bit.

"Like I said before, things are gonna get a lot worse before they get better. Chalk it up to a learning experience." Duo gave Heero a small smile before turning serious eyes to him once again. "So what are we going to do?" Duo twisted a piece of fabric from his shirt as he waited for the answer, knowing full well that Heero and the others had planned to find the Oz lab on L2 and look for any traces of a cure for him.

"Take a risk."

Duo raised his eyes to meet Heero's. "You read the note I left for Mac." Heero nodded dropping his gaze to the floor. "So what do you wanna do?"

"We're to rondevue in eighteen hours with the others and proceed as planned to seek and destroy the A-55 threat to the Earth." He recited in mission mode.

"Lofty objectives. Saving the world. Keeping A-55 from destroying our chances for peace. Nothing dull that's for sure." Duo smirked. "And the risk?"

Heero looked up from the floor and gazed at the sad violet eyes. "Love you."

Duo shook his head sadly. "You promised."

"It's the only promise I'll ever break to you, Duo." Heero reached over and took Duo's hand in his own and leaned his head back against the wall. He heard Duo take a deep breath and relax slightly next to him.

"I also said I wanted to do this my own way."

"Suicide isn't the right way." Heero gave Duo's hand a little squeeze. "Believe me, I know."

"You read the poem too." Duo quipped back, a bit of humor in his tone. "I didn't really plan on killing myself ya know."

"Going alone into this would accomplish the same results as putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger." Heero paused and studied the pale face in front of him. He could tell that Duo was turning himself inside out over the events that happened so very long ago on L2 and it pained him just as much to see him tormented about it now. "Duo, it wasn't your fault."

"It's never anyone's fault, is it?" Duo sighed and leaned back against the wall as well keeping a firm grip on Heero's hand. "I'm glad you came. I'm feeling so tired, Heero."

"You knew I'd be here for you. I promised, didn't I?" Heero gently pulled on Duo's hand until the boy was within reach for him to enclose him in an embrace.

"I know, but I'm still glad though." Duo rested his head against Heero's chest and listened to the steady thrum of blood as it pumped through his heart. He shut his eyes and tried to get his own racing emotions back into something a bit more manageable. "So you really do love me, huh?"

"Hai. Baka." Heero kissed the top of Duo's head. He shut his eyes as that sat in the darkness, content for now. Only a half day until they would go once again into the fray. This time it really was a life and death struggle, but to Heero it was so much more that a bunch of mission parameters and set objectives to accomplish. It was for Duo. It was for his own sanity as well and the chance to keep what he only just found. His heart and humanity. He wouldn't let it slip away.

Beauty, truth and rarity,
Grace in all simplicity,
Here enclosed in cinders lie,
Death is now the Phoenix nest,
And the Turtle's loyal breast
To eternity doth rest,
Leaving no prosperity,
'Twas not their infirmity,
It was married chastity,
Truth may seem, but cannot be,
Beauty brag, but 'tis not she,
Truth and beauty buried be,
To this urn let those repair,
That either are true or fair,
For these dead birds sigh a prayer.^[1]

End Part 10

Notes:
[1] - The poem The Phoenix and the Turtle is a very long poem that I only choose the last piece of. It's a dark piece about unrequited love between two birds that realize they could never truly be together except in death. The turtle is really a turtledove. I really liked it and thought it was fitting for the story. If you get a chance you should really read the entire poem to get the full impact. If anyone wants it I can add it to the end of the fic in its entirety.

(:./ebony/death10)