19-Nov-2000
This is the beginning of what's looking to be a really big arc on my part. It's my little testimate that Hilde is not a throw-away character, Dammit! (Hey, if she doesn't have a miko or a seishi I'll be it!) I'm sorry if I step on toes. Hugs, kisses, and naked Bish to Lilias and Jenna for all their help and for listening to me dither. <smooches> ^__^
Warning: None in this part really
Pairing: 2+H, 2+1 (both implied)
POV: Hilde
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or the girl. The words in between are mine.
Archive: Anyone want to? Be my guest, just warn me before hand.
I didn't meet Heero Yuy until almost a full year after the skirmish with Mariemeia's forces, but I had heard so much about him from Duo that I already knew most of the taciturn pilot's quirks. I knew that if he cut a carrot each slice would be exactly the same thickness. I knew that if he sat down to read a book he would read the whole damned thing in one sitting. And I knew that he would bitch if you left the laundry on top of the drier. I knew all of this before I ever heard the guy's voice. I knew that he and Duo were closer than just friends or partners. Yeah, it did bother me, at first, until I met Duo's 'Perfect Soldier'.
It was raining the first time I met him, when he showed up on the steps to the house that Duo and I had bought. My braided lover wasn't there when Heero knocked on our door; he was off on some mission for the Preventors. I stood in the warm wash of the light and Heero stood in the chill of the misting rain. I don't think he expected me. I certainly did not expect him.
"Duo?" His voice was so quiet, so uncertain that I almost couldn't believe that it was his. I shook my head. My traitor voice had deserted me in my shock. Heero turned to leave, to go back into the cold embrace of the rain alone, when I caught his arm. He looked at me, startled by my gesture. I blushed a little, but kept my hold on him.
"It's freezing, and you're soaked." I had found my cowardly voice, "Come inside, please."
I think it was the please, but he let me lead him into the warmth of the kitchen. He dripped little puddles all the way there, through the living room and down the hall. He looked vaguely guilty about that.
In the kitchen I got my first good look at him, the man--boy really--who had stolen my Duo's heart before I had dreamed of being in love. He was taller than me by a few inches, I came up to about his nose, but he was shorter than Duo. He wore nothing but a pair of spandex shorts and a forest green tank top. He had a more muscular build than Duo, but he could hardly be called bulky. I noticed with the warm shock of lust--the type that doesn't care about emotionthat he was-- handsome. The deep brown hair was thick with water and dripped into his eyes. His eyes were the color of the Irish Sea that I had learned to love. The look in those eyes stopped me and caught the corners of my heart. He looked so lost, so lonely, and didn't even realize it. I wondered if this was what Duo saw when he looked into those cobalt eyes.
And he was dripping all over my kitchen.
"Wait here for a minute," I told him, a hand on his chilled arm, "I'll go get some towels."
He nodded and shivered. I dashed out and raided the linen closet. I paused a moment. Duo had left some clean laundry on top of the drier. Jeans, sweater, boxers. I grabbed them. Duo wouldn't care and there was no way I was going to let Heero freeze in sopping clothes. The look the Prefect Soldier gave me when I came back with my arms filled with fluffy towels and dry clothes was so wary that I smiled. I set the clothes on the table. Those dark eyes never left mine.
"Dry off and change first, then we'll talk. You can use the bathroom around the corner, leave the wet clothes in the hamper." I added hastily. Duo had told me that Heero had a tendency to do exactly what you asked. I expected some argument, something. But he just looked at me with those lost eyes and nodded again. He gave me a searching look. I could tell that he didn't expect this of me, and it threw him a little. I smiled at him. Heero blinked and walked out. I sagged against the counter as soon as he was gone.
"Duo... you bastard." I scrubbed my face with my hands and leaned back against the sink. "What the hell do you expect me to do?"
I stared at the ceiling. I didn't know what to think or what to feel. My lover's lover had shown up at the door looking for him. What are you supposed to do with that? I rubbed my arms and chewed on my bottom lip. I didn't understand half the things running through my head. There was too much to think about. I would have been angry, I think, if it wasn't for that look in his eyes. But since when was I the protective nurturing type? I made coffee without thinking about it. I just needed something to warm my hands. I was watching the steam rise of the black liquid trying to sort myself out when a small sound brought my head up.
He stood in the entrance of the kitchen watching me the same way you would watch a wolf, still, waiting to see if it would attack or run. Duo's jeans were a little too long on him, but he filled them out well. The sweater was stretched just a little tight across his shoulders and chest but it hung long at the waist. The towel was draped around his neck and it looked like he had given his hair a through rubbing with it. I had one sneaking little hentai thought before I reigned myself in. I could see the attraction.
I handed him a cup of coffee. "It'll warm your hands."
He just nodded. I sat down at the table and gestured for him to join me. Heero moved with the same unconscious grace that I admired in Duo. My throat tightened for a moment. I missed Duo intensely for a moment and hated Heero for reminding me. It must have shown in my eyes because he pulled back, uneasy. I looked into Heero's deep blue eyes so full of hurt and was afraid. If I screwed up here I'd leave scars. I wasn't sure if I was afraid because Duo would hate me if I hurt Heero any worse, or because I couldn't stand to hurt Heero any more than he already was. I looked away for a moment, chewing on my lip. But if he could hold so much pain in his eyes I could look at it.
I meet his gaze and let out a shaky breath. Damned if I knew what I was supposed to do.
"So," I blew at my coffee, "What brings you here in the freezing rain?"
I kept the question light, using it to hide my own uncertainness. I watched Heero as closely as he watched me. We were like to opponents in a sparing match, waiting for the other to indicate where they were going to attack first.
"I wanted to talk to Duo. I thought I could catch he before he left." Heero kept his eyes on his cup.
"I got that much when you showed up dripping on my doorstep." I cocked my head to the side, trying to look up under those heavy brown bangs. "But why, Heero?"
"Relena told me to go to him." He looked away, but not before I saw something flash through his eyes. Something that looked like betrayal. What gives?
I knew very little about the Minister of Foreign Affairs, except for one chance meeting on the Libra we'd never met. Duo rarely talked about her, and talked about her and Heero even less. But the idea of them together seemed to amuse him greatly. Don't get me wrong; he respected her. It's hard not to, but he just didn't seem to think she was as perfect as she seemed. From where I was sitting, it looked like she had screwed up big time, and expected Duo to clean up the mess. Just bully for me, he wasn't here.
"Um, Heero, I don't have the foggiest clue as to what gives between the three of you, but why would she send you here? I thought... never mind what I thought." He was giving me a really nasty look. "But why would she send you away?"
"Relena... She said she couldn't do anything for me. Couldn't help me, couldn't understand me. She told me all the respect and admiration she had for me couldn't help me fight my demons. So she sent me to Duo." His voice was cold, mechanical, but under it was so much hurt. It sounded suspiciously like abandonment.
I had a sudden protective urge to revisit all that pain threefold on that little princess. Vindictive? Who me?
"Relena sent you here?" I half-asked, half-repeated. From what I understood from the other pilots, the little princess had followed him all over the place and now she was sending him away? Did she finally figure out that she couldn't turn a soldier into an ambassador of peace simply by willing it so? Did she finally understand that when you've been trained to kill, and do it quite well thank you, you can't just about face and stop? I wonder if Heero had broken one too many of Relena's idealizations of him and she had finally just given up. That didn't quite explain the hurt in Heero's eyes. Had he idealized her as much as she had idealized him? My thoughts were broken by Heero's agreement. Someone has got to teach him about rhetorical questions.
"Aa." Heero finally looked up at me and I looked into those startling blue eyes. A thought dawned on me.
"You don't have anywhere else to go, do you?"
He shook his head.
"You didn't bring anything with you, by any chance?"
Another sharp shake of the head. I sighed.
"Well, I guess you'll stay here. At least until Duo comes back. We've got more than enough spare rooms." Something came to me. Duo had insisted on one more guestroom than normal. Had he planned on Heero coming to us? Another question for the braided baka when he gets back. "You can borrow Duo's clothes until we get you some of your own. I don't think that he'd really care."
He looked up at me, completely dumbfounded and shook his head. I'm not sure what the headshake was about, so I ignored it. I stood up and started to leave.
"Hilde."
The sound of my name on his lips gave me a start. I turned around to look at him. He was twisted around on the chair, on arm across the back of it. "We haven't discussed... everything." Heero looked at me with unreadable eyes. I walked back to him and lifted the hair away from his face so I could look at him clearly. I knew the conversation he wanted, but I wasn't up to it. Not right now, not when I was exhausted.
"I know, but it's late and we're both tired. I'm less than coherent. We can discuss ... whatever, in the morning." I'm tired. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I looked at him and felt my expression soften. "It can wait. It's waited this long, it can wait a little longer."
Those incredibly blue eyes looked at me, took my measure, and Heero nodded. He let me lead him to the guest room next to Duo's room. I think I saw the corner of his mouth twitch when I explained the layout of the place. He let me get him lay an extra blanket and lay it across the foot of the bed. I think I amused Heero Yuy that first night.
I hesitated at the doorway of his room before I left to go to bed. He stood in the middle of the room just waiting.
"Hilde," His voice seemed to be warmer. "I'm fine, go to bed."
I looked up at him as he stood there in the middle of strange and impersonal room holding borrowed pj's and felt something in my heart break for him.
End of Part 1
Well? Anyone? Comments, flames, suggestion?
Hilde: Go read your Neitszche before Chang hyperventalates. Dan: <sigh>
(:./dan/prices1)
