06-Aug-2000
this is *extremely* stupid, just a silly thing based on a conversation i had with tyr. so if you don't like it, blame tyr! (of course, if you like it, it's *all* mine!)
--oh, and tyr, i sent it to you *personally* because egroups seems to be down. 2 posts in 4 hours. ha!
Disclaimers: i don't know who owns *any* of this shit, ok? leave me alone.
Quatre sat in a chair, feet propped up, blissfully drinking a soothing cup of General Foods International Coffee (kahlua flavor). "Unplug and relax indeed", he thought, smiling.
Duo came into the room, a distracted look on his face. "Oh, good, there you are! I have a questio--- oops! Are you celebrating a moment in your life? 'Cause I don't want to interrupt."
"Don't be silly, Duo. I'll always have a moment for good times and good friends. How can I help you?"
Duo leaned in, almost whispering. "Well, it's like this. Do ever have that not-so-fresh feeling?"
"Of course! It's a problem we, as pilots, must go through monthly. But the solution is simple: have you ever heard of Summer's Eve?"
Well, yes. But that's available over-the-counter. Are you sure it's strong enough for my needs?"
Oh, yes! It's new, it's improved, and now it's medicated, too!"
"Gosh, thanks, Quatre! I've been too embarressed to ask the oth---"
Just then, Wufei came dancing through the room, wearing only his black silk boxers, twirling around with his shiny white pants in his arms. "Look! Look! They're not just white, they're Clorax 2 white!"
Duo and Quatre admired the white pants. "Look, Quatre! It even got out those hard-to-clean stains, like grease, blood, and grass!"
Wufei smiled modestly. "Well, I also had to Shout them out. But aren't they beautiful?"
Quatre nodded, and then held the pants up to his face. "And they're so soft, Wufei. Did you make your wash a Downy Soft wash?"
"Actually, I soaked them in Palmolive. I mean, it did such wonders for Heero's gundam-roughened hands, I knew it would soften my pants as well."
"What about my hands?" asked Heero, walking into the room mid-conversation.
"We were just saying how soft and lady-like they've become, since you started using Palmolive." Duo explained.
"Why, thank you. You could have knocked me over with a pin when Trowa told me I was soaking in it, but I have to say, I'm pleased with the results." Heero held up his soft hands; everyone crowded around and looked admiringly.
Trowa came into the room, and saw all the pilots gathered around Heero. "Hey, guys, what do you say we go out tonight, and celebrate the loveliness of Heero's hands?"
"Great idea!" said Duo, looking all enthused. "I'll even treat! Tonight, let it be Lowenbrau!"
All the pilots cheered. They ran off to get dressed up, and soon they were on their way out for a night on the town. Quatre nipped back in to grab his American Express card. He whispered to Heero as he climbed back into the car, "I *know* Duo said he'd pay, but it's best to be prepared. That's why I never leave home without it."
Heero nodded approvingly. "And I've got my credit card too, just in case. An evening out with my fellow pilots: priceless. But for everything else, there's MasterCard." He and Quatre exchanged knowing looks.
Meanwhile, back at the safehouse, Rashid walked out of the kitchen with a big grin on his face, which faded when he saw there was no-one there. "Where did everyone go? Tonight was the night I was going to tell Quatre I loved him." He looked down sadly at the pan of brownies he was holding. A tear slowly trickled down his face. "I mean, nothing says lovin' like somethin' from the oven."
Rashid sat on the floor and cried.
END END END
that's it. i *told* you it was stupid. :-)
(:./hyuy/ficlet)
