Title: Bunkai Shite Aruite Iku (roughly, "Having Broken, I Walk")
Author: Cutter
Part 3 of 3: Beginning
Note: And lo, the fic writer said, "there shall be jungles even in
A.C. 195." And there were, and it was good. Japanese glossary at the bottom of the page, as usual.
Timeline: This happens instead of the last episode of the series,
beginning after Heero does his little atmosphere-plunge thing. For
the purposes of this fic, there is no Endless Waltz.
Disclaimer: You know who owns GW, and you know it's not me.
However, I *do* own the fic, such as it is.
Ohayoo! Ok, most of the third part of the fic was not part of my original plan, but my muse (who is a slave-driver, and loud, and erratic besides) informed me that I couldn't just leave H&D where they were at the end of part 2. Ze still won't tell me why not...
"Seek! Catch, Seek!" Duo threw the Frisbee in a wide arc. It landed neatly in Heero's waiting arms. Seeker loved beaches and so did Duo, and that was why they had stopped here. "Na, Hee-chan, it's a beautiful day."
Heero threw the Frisbee back, and Seek flew across the sand. "Sou. But I hope it rains."
"Hey! I'm supposed to be the one who loves rain, but that's ridiculous! Look at what I'm wearing! Do you have any idea what kind of a cold I'd catch?" Duo laughed, gesturing to his tattered shorts and thin gray sweatshirt. In the two years since the night of his confession and Heero's adoption of Seeker, they'd traveled everywhere, attended schools sporadically, held jobs sporadically, and gradually started laughing, for real. They'd done it together, when it was unexpected and sometimes uncomfortable for them to do so. And they'd held funeral services for Shinigami and a little girl with a puppy.
Before, it had seemed unreal that Heero would laugh at anything or love anything as simple as the weather. He'd hated Earth and everything on it after the war, and he'd hated the colonies, too.
But one day, Heero had suddenly grabbed Duo by the collar and dragged him out into a summer thunderstorm, and they'd played like kids. He had never seen that look on Heero's face before. Like joy. It's only times like that that Heero feels joy. It's the best thing I've ever seen.
"Rain makes me happy. Ever since the time I saw you dance in it." Only joyous when it rains, when it snows... I feel free in storms... the wind. Only joyous then. But I'm ok when I'm with you. I said I'd love you, and I did. I learned to do it. So I can. I proved that I could love someone; I'm not a machine. Duo, you are my proof. And I told you to take it, and you took it.
Seek intercepted the Frisbee, and ran into the ocean with it, paddling to a rock.
"Touch me." Sometimes, one of them needed it, and it was agreed between them a request for a touch was only denied with good reason.
"Of course, koi." Heero walked over and put his arms around his lover.
"Koi..." I still can't believe you can say it. I've been relying only on you, only on us, for two years... we're desperate together. Duo had been surprised somehow that staying together turned out well. But through the initial months of painfully extracting themselves from the wreckage of the war, having someone around had been comforting. And now, against all odds, they had found a kind of easy companionship that was almost like... peace. I told you to take it, and you took it. Maxwell's little demon is something. I exist, and I am not just Shinigami. Duo has come back from hell. You are my proof.
"I love you, Heero." Itsumademo.
And Duo ran. Across the beach they chased each other, sand flying behind them.
Later that night, lying on the beach under the stars, Heero knew that it was time. They'd been putting off this talk for months. I'll start. But you are a sight to behold on this blanket, under this sky, in this moonlight. We wander... we wandered for so long. And we did more than we ever hoped. I thought we would die. You did, too, I know... but we live. We live and we enjoy life and we value it more than anyone, I think, more than all those people who sit at home and have never known war and excitement and space and blood and death... I'll start.
"You're happy, but not happy."
"You, too." I guess it's time, then, ne Heero?
This new Duo is a quieter one, but no matter how strange the quiet is, I love him for it. It's real, Heero thought, not for the first time. And I'm not so silent anymore, so I guess it evens out.
"So what do we do?"
"We lived for peace then. And now that we have peace... I can live for you. But we weren't meant to be like this, sedentary. I tasted too much adrenaline to be able to live this easily or quietly. Not that it's been easy, any of it, any of us, but... Heero, I need something to do. We're the best thing I ever did. But it's not enough. It was, for awhile."
A pause, as they lay looking up at the stars.
"That's how I feel... we will find something to do. But we're soldiers. And there's no more war. What can we be? Nothing to do with fighting, or killing, or scientists."
"No," Duo laughed a little, "Certainly not the scientists, anyway... how about peace, again?"
"Nani?"
"We could protect Relena. We could head her security, and keep her safe. And go to fancy diplomatic parties. You could be my date." He waggled his eyebrows ridiculously, and received a light swat on the arm.
"Relena... Aa. We'll protect her. And the peace. Because I can't go back to war. If I do, if I do that again... I won't be able to come back." Serious eyes bored into Duo, and he knew Heero's words were true. However, the mood seriously needed to be lightened.
"Haaiiii!" he cried cheerfully. "Ninmu ryok--"
A large fistful of sand somehow ended up in Duo's face. Coughing and laughing at his glaring partner, he waved his hands.
"Kidding, kidding... saa, Hee-chan, you still can't take a joke." More softly, he continued, "Wakatta. Ore mo. And, Heero?"
"Aa?"
"I need to fly again. I think I can't fill a part of myself if I don't fly again. I miss how it feels. I miss the freedom."
"Wakatta. The Preventers have suits and planes. We'll go to them; Wufei is already there."
"Wu-chan! Sou, naa... before we go to Relena, we'll go to the Preventers. Hirde works there; she's a great girl. We should be able to stay a few months before it gets old."
"Hirde loved you then, you know."
"Aa. I probably would've loved her back, if there'd been time."
Do you regret us, Duo? No, we swore we'd tell if we ever did. "Naru hodo. And after the Preventers get old, and after we've spent a few years with Relena? What then?"
"What would you say to going to the jungle settlements, and building houses for the poor? Reconstructing the things lost in the war and feeding the hungry and working our asses off on our own time, away from everyone we know, with no orders from anyone?"
"The jungle, with you?"
"Until the end of the world."
"Until the next war... Aa. We'll do it." Heero's eyes gleamed. "Come on, let's get Seek and go back to the cabin. It's getting dark, and I'm sure you want to get out of those sandy clothes... I would help you take them off, of course."
His companion laughed, and stood.
Hand in hand, two young men followed their dog out into the sea, and splashed among the waves and held each other tight. Cooled by the water.
Baptized into the world.
End
Japanese used:
"Na" = "ne"; in this case it's like "hey"
"sou" = "yeah"
"koi" = "love," the concept or the pet name
"itsumademo" = "forever"
"nani?" = "what?"
"hai" = "yes"
"ninmu ryok--" => "ninmu ryokai" = Heero's ritual phrase for "mission accepted"
"saa" = a sound I can't really describe; not precisely exasperated, but...
"wakatta" = "understood" or "I understand"
"ore mo" = "me too"
"naru hodo" = "I see"
(:./cutter/bsai3)
