a little melancholy but sweet
"Strange, isn't it, Heero? Most of the people in our class have never seen outer space and here we are, getting a lecture on it," Duo said, sitting next to Heero in the dome that was to act as screen for the projector. They were going with their class to a field trip at the local science museum, where the film of the day was a special on the theoretical beginning and ending of the universe.
"Hn."
"Want to take a nap? I'll wake you up when it's done. You probably know all this, already."
Heero turned to him and said, "No talking."
Duo looked up at the dome and crossed his legs. "Wish they'd serve popcorn."
"You could at least pretend to take it seriously."
The museum guide said, "I'm Stephen Hawking, your guide to the cosmos for today. Please no crying babies, they must be taken outside. Please no cameras, no lights or any excessive noise. No gum popping or talking. Thank you."
The lights began to dim, and the room went completely dark. "Most scientists believe the evidence point to the Big Bang theory where the universe sprang from an incredibly small hot point, then exploded, creating the universe as we know today." There was a sudden flash of light that separated itself into a billion points of light on the screen. "Energy coalesced into matter and anti-matter. After canceling each other out, there was radiation and matter left over from those early pyrotechnics. Particles began to form and create the building blocks of everything you see around us... "
"Heero, what's wrong?" said Duo. "You've been really quiet today, ever since we went to the museum." Instead of typing on his computer, Heero had been sitting on his bed, looking out the window at the night sky. Duo got up and sat on the bed behind him, their backs facing each other.
"I was just thinking... Never mind."
"Just tell me. That's what I'm here for."
"I was thinking about the fate of universe."
"You mean where eventually nothing's left except a thin gruel of quantum particles spread over an almost infinite space? Or possibly that the universe eventually collapses under its own gravity and does a big crunch."
Heero nodded.
"Well, what about it?"
"Doesn't it make you feel sad?"
"Sad?" Heero's taking it way too seriously. There are things much closer at hand to worry about. "It's not going to happen for trillions and trillions of years. Unless you found out about a mistake in their calculation and the world's going to end next week. If so, at least we won't have to fight any more."
Heero said nothing.
I wonder what's wrong with him, he thought. I know it's not some abstract problem he's worried about. It's just struck a nerve. "Suppose the universe does end with all the suns go out, the planets go cold, the black holes finally swallow each other then evaporate. What about it bothers you so much?"
"When I piloted, I didn't concentrate on how beautiful the stars were or how vast space was. I just concentrated on what I had to do. When I think of today's lectures, it made me feel small. It makes everything I do feel small." There was a hint of sadness in his usual flat voice.
"You're wondering what's the point of all this if it all eventually ends anyway."
"Yes."
Duo sighed. I'm never really sure what to say when I'm talking to him, but I know I should say something. "Heero, all I know is that it's the present that matters. Everyone sometimes wonder what his life is worth. I wonder sometimes, myself. But I think that in the end, it doesn't matter how big the universe is or how long time will go on. It's what we've done that's important. If we can say to ourselves that we did all we could for what we believe in, then that's all anybody can ask."
Duo turned to look at Heero to see if there was any reaction. Heero's back was still to him, but he hadn't told him to be quiet, so he continued. "I'm not as good as you at theoretical physics, but I don't think we can go back to the past and erase all the mistakes we've ever made. What's happened and what we've done will exist forever, all the good and the bad. It's just that all those moments are in a place we can't touch anymore. Therefore, we have to concentrate on the things we can change."
Duo got up on the bed and put his arms around him while putting his head on his shoulder. "Anyway, I don't usually think about stuff in those terms. I think in terms of the people I care about, like the guy I'm trying to cheer up right now."
Heero turned around and smiled.
"Heero, why are you smiling? The universe hasn't changed."
"It's because someone knows how I feel."
"Anything I can do to cheer you up?"
"Let's burn this moment into Time."
That night, the universe was no bigger than the confines of a boy's dormitory room in a private school.
The End
(:./mk/boundaries)
