Yaoi, humor
"Ok, tell me again why we had to steal this truck. This small, incredibly trashed truck," Duo asked, eyeing the contraption Wufei had driven up in.
"Hey, it's not my fault that no one will rent a car to us anymore," Wufei snapped. "Talk to Mr. One-Man-Demolition-Team over there. Hertz, Budget, even Rent-a-Wreck, it's all the same. Right in their computer, it says, no spandex boy or any of his associates. So we are reduced to thievery." Wufei glared at Heero, who was currently looking underneath the old truck, to see if there were any bombs, apparently.
"Get over it, Wufei. Who knew a minivan even had a self-destruct button anyway?" Heero replied without looking at him. Duo stifled a giggle, knowing it would get him hurt by either Wufei or Heero.
"Let's get this piece of crap loaded," Heero said. "We need to get out of here."
Twenty minutes later, the back of the truck was bulging with various technical looking equipment. Wufei, Trowa, Quatre and Heero stood outside the cab, ready to go. They were dressed in their usual outfits. They were waiting for Duo as usual. Heero was grumbling about Duo's hair always being a problem when the braided boy sauntered up. He was wearing a tight midriff top that left his stomach half bare and a tiny pair of cut-off shorts that barely covered his ass. Duo smiled as Heero's chin threatened to hit the floor.
"What the hell are you wearing?" managed Heero.
"Well, I always get too hot on these little excursions, so I decided to dress more... appropriately," smirked Duo.
"Wherever did you get that outfit?" squeaked Quatre, trying to keep Trowa from drooling all over himself.
"Oh, this old thing? Just a little outfit I used to wear in the old days on L2. It was very hot there, you know. Environmental controls never worked right. You like it?" Duo turned around, bent over slightly and looked back over his shoulder at the pilots.
Wufei bolted, mumbling something about Kleenex, Quatre blushed, Trowa licked his lips and Heero said, "Hn."
Wufei came back, clutching a box of tissues and studiously not looking at Duo. "I'm driving." No one argued with him.
"Isn't there some other way to all fit in this cab?" Heero wondered. "I always get crushed."
"Wufei always insists on driving, Duo and I are smallest, and no one else is damn well sitting on Trowa's lap," Quatre said firmly, clutching the green-eyed pilot's arm possessively. "That leaves Duo on your lap, I'm afraid, Heero. Besides, Duo paid me - mmf," Quatre finished as Duo covered his mouth quickly, grinning.
Heero glowered but didn't say anything, wondering how in the hell he was going to survive this trip. It was bad enough to have the braided pilot on his lap normally, squirming around as he did, but dressed like that? It was going to be hard - in more than one way.
The pilots started arranging themselves in the truck. Wufei slid behind the wheel, clutching his box of tissues protectively. Trowa got in next, in the middle, legs straddling the gearshift. Quatre clambered in, happily settling himself on Trowa's lap and snuggling the green-eyed boy. Heero tried to get in but was blocked by Duo, bending over so far that his shorts were pulled up to... "Get out of the way, Duo!" Heero growled.
"Just a minute, Heero. I'm stowing my pack. Gotta have my munchies, ya know," Duo grinned at Heero over his shoulder. "K'. All done!" Duo moved back out of Heero's way, raising his arms up over his head, ostensibly to afford Heero more room, but mostly just so his shirt would ride up even more. Heero climbed in the truck. Duo managed to get in the way so Heero brushed against him. Duo smiled delightedly. This was gonna be fun...
"All ready, Heero?" Duo said suggestively. "Cause here I come!" Duo said with emphasis on the last word. With that, Duo climbed up onto Heero's lap, going for the most contact with the cobalt-eyed boy as possible.
Duo settled happily on Heero's spandex-clad lap. Heero clenched his jaw as Duo very deliberately wriggled around to get a comfortable position. Duo couldn't decide if he wanted to be able to look at the object of his lust as he tormented him, or go for the most groin-to-ass contact by facing away. Duo decided on looking at Heero. This also allowed for possible clutching of Heero if they encountered turbulence, and since Wufei was driving, that was practically a given. Wufei seemed to think it dishonorable to drive below the posted speed limit for any reason whatsoever, like snow, rain, turns, passengers...
Heero glared at Duo. How did the longhaired boy know just how to get to him? It had taken all his iron control not to jump on Duo when he first saw him in that outfit, and now here he was on his lap, those shorts covering nothing at all. Heero began to lose the battle with his body and started getting hard. At any moment, Duo would be able to tell... sometimes spandex had its drawbacks.
Quatre was happily nuzzling Trowa's neck and whispering something to him that made the green-eyed pilot look as happy as he ever did. Trowa slid his hand into Quatre's shirt, making the smaller pilot gasp. Quatre's hands dropped to Trowa's lap and the brown-haired pilot sighed and let his head fall back against the seat.
"Get a room," growled Heero at the happy couple.
"Speak for yourself," Trowa shot back, eyeing Heero's crotch.
Heero scowled at Trowa. Heero began the difficult task of trying to keep Duo from sliding back on his slippery spandex-clad lap enough to feel his hardness, as Wufei sped around corners with no regard for his passengers.
After about 30 minutes of this treatment, Heero noticed that he had seen this particular bit of scenery before. Peering across the cab at the driver, he observed, "You're lost."
Wufei began to protest, "The mission briefing was wrong. The turn we were to take doesn't exist."
"Hn," Heero replied. They were approaching a convenience store. "Stop there and ask for directions."
"No! I can find it! I will not stop! Asking for directions is dishonorable!" Wufei cried.
Heero decided he couldn't take this much longer. He leaned across the oblivious Quatre and Trowa, and pointed his gun at Wufei's head. "Stop."
"Wow, Heero, where do you hide that gun?" Duo teased. "Oh, that must have been that bulge I felt!"
"But..." Wufei thought about protesting further, then saw the murderous look on Heero's face and thought better of it. He pulled into the AM/PM without further protest.
While Wufei went in to ask for directions, the other pilots took the opportunity to stretch their legs. Heero was checking on the equipment in the back when he heard the whistles.
"Hey baby! Over here!"
"Whoo hoo! Shake it honey!"
"Hey! That ain't no girl!"
"Yeah, Joe, you was yelling at a pretty boy!"
"Shut up! That can't be a boy! Look at that hair!"
"Duo..." Heero muttered under his breath. When he saw the two of the men head for the store entrance, Heero decided he had better go after Duo.
End Part 1
(:./jade/truck1)
