20 Dec 2000
DISCLAIMER: All Gundam Wing characters are property of Sunrise, Bandai Visuals, Sotsu Agency, and Asahi TV. This work is not written for profit, but for entertainment purposes only.
PAIRINGS: 6X9 AND 13X6
WARNING: very brief, very mild lime; Relena again ^_~
Zechs walked the rest of the way down the aisle and slid into the pew next to Noin. She looked down at his hands and took one in hers. "I'd like to go first, if that's all right with you," she said.
"Of course," Zechs answered softly, giving her hand a squeeze. /She looks so beautiful... Noin, if I were a different type of man.../
"Something has happened, Zechs. Something... unexpected, and I wanted you to know."
The blond man frowned in concern. "Noin? Are you all right? You're not sick are you? Or... someone else? Has -"
"No!" she interrupted him with two fingers on his lips. "No, please, just hear me out." She turned to face the altar, her face in profile to Zechs. She stared straight ahead as she told him.
"I want you to know that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. The dream that kept me going through the war was that one day you might notice me, that I could be of so much help to you that you'd fall in love with me as deeply as I was with you. There were lots of times I thought that it looked impossible, and other times that you were so warm and friendly that it seemed it just might happen..."
She sighed softly, looking down at her hands. "I always felt that there was something you needed that I didn't quite have. I wanted you to value me -to be able to see me as having what you needed so that you'd turn to me when you were troubled or you'd think of me when you felt proud... I wanted to be able to give you something that was priceless, irreplaceable, so that I would always be the one you loved."
Looking over at him, Noin ran her gaze over the softly handsome features, the brooding eyes and sculpted chin. /You are such a miracle.../
"And I have to admit," she continued, "that I wanted something from you, too. Something to hold on to forever, so that we'd never be apart - not really... not at the level where it really counts."
"Noin -" Zechs began, his eyes sad. But she stopped him.
"I'm ready for that now, Zechs. I'm ready for your gift, and I'm ready to give you mine... there's something I want to - no *have* to give you, and it won't wait."
Zechs was steeling himself. Whatever Noin said, he would have to tell her that he was meant to be with Treize. And it was going to be so difficult now...
She was smiling at him, the faint glimmer of future tears in her eyes. "So this is what I have for you, Zechs," she murmured, leaning in close and whispering in his ear.
In seconds, Zechs's face had blank. "W-What...?" he breathed.
Sally had arrived at the table for breakfast, as had Treize. He had seen Zechs go into the chapel from his window upstairs, and since he hadn't come out again, Treize reasoned that Noin had been there, and they were talking. His only wish was that it wouldn't take so long.
"Has anyone see Noin?" Relena said, working hard to smile at Treize as he sat down. "Or my brother, for that matter?"
"I think Noin was up early," Sally said, helping herself to orange juice, "but I don't know about Zechs."
Relena reluctantly cast a glance at Treize. "Would you... happen to know?" she said hesitantly.
He smiled back warmly. "I believe he and Noin are talking in the chapel. Would you be so terribly kind as to pass the pastry basket?"
The tension in the air around the table seemed to go through the roof. They all knew that Zechs must have made a decision, and they all knew that Treize must know what it was, but no one had the nerve to ask him.
Treize himself seemed completely calm, choosing a pastry carefully and saying to Relena, "I really do commend you on the gardens, Princess. You do have *just* a few aphids creeping into the rose bushes, though. It's nothing too advanced. Just get yourself some ladybugs and they'll take care of them in no time. I can help with that if you need me to..." Having said his piece, he bit neatly into his pastry and smiled at the three faces that were staring at him.
"Noin?" Zechs said in disbelief. "Are... are you *sure*?"
"Yes," she said softly. "I'm releasing you from your engagement to me. I understand now - really I do..."
"I wish I did," Zechs said, staring at her. "Noin - why...?"
"Because I've been a bit blinded to the facts that were always there in front of me," she said sadly. "I knew that you and Treize were close friends, even knew that you'd known each other as children. You told me as much yourself, and I caught little bits of rumor and fact here and there..." She looked up at the stained glass altar window again, and continued.
"I just never put all the pieces together. You told me what it was like, when Sank was destroyed that first time. I knew how lonely you must have been. It's just that... I never made the connection between all that and Treize."
Her voice was beginning to break and Zechs squeezed her hand tighter. "Noin, please - you don't have to -"
"But I *do*, Zechs," she said firmly, working to control the tremble that threatened her voice. "I never realized that he was the link... Last night Relena said something about you growing up without anyone around you who loved you... or whom you could love. But that's wrong, isn't it , Zechs? Because you had Treize..."
The blond man nodded, dropping his gaze. "I went to so many different families... and most of them were frightened to have me around. I was close to despair when Treize contacted me. He and his parents began inviting me to their estate on school holidays, when Treize could be there. It was such a shock - to be with someone who really wanted to be with me..."
"He was the constant for you, wasn't he?" Noin asked, her voice quavering. "He was the one who was there to love you... and you fell in love with him, too."
Silent tears were sliding down Zechs's cheeks. "Noin - I'm so sorry... You've given everything you had to me and I've only ever taken from you... I've known what it is you've wanted and I truly did want to try to be that man for you. But I just couldn't when Treize came back... I thought that connection had gone for good, but it survived. Through war and hatred and utter despair... it survived."
He looked up at her now, feeling as if he were drowning in shame. "Noin..." he whispered, lifting his hand to caress her cheek. "Whatever can I do to make this up to you?"
"You've already done it, Zechs" she said. "All the time we've had together these past five years. The tenderness you've shown me that made me dizzy from happiness." The tears finally spilled over and she began to cry softly. Zechs's arms slid around her shoulders and he pulled her softly to him.
"It hardly seems like anything in return for what you've done," he murmured against her hair.
"Believe me, Zechs... the exchange has been a fair one..." That was the limit - she couldn't be strong any longer. Burying her face against Zechs's chest she let herself cry and cry and cry. /I don't have you, but I have a part of you that will be with me forever... the sweetest thing you could give me, other than yourself. He gets that... but I get this... I alone get this..."
He continued to hold her and stroke her hair while she cried, trying to offer some small modicum of comfort and feeling completely inadequate to the task. But Noin did, at last, begin to relax and the sobs quieted to tears.
She held him for as long as he let her, listening to his heartbeat, almost swearing she heard another that echoed it, deep inside of her.
/And someday, Zechs, I just might be strong enough to let you know... someday.../
It was noon, and the fog was finally beginning to lift. Treize stood on the terrace looking over at the chapel and was not amused. /How long can it take? What could they be saying to each other that would require this amount of time? It's been *hours.*/
He was so intent on the chapel door, almost willing it to open, that he didn't hear Sally come up behind him. "Patience, Treize," she said softly. "I think Noin had a lot to say..." She sat down on one of the nearby benches and looked up at him. "You know what he's decided, don't you?"
Treize's gaze lingered a bit on the chapel door before sliding over to the young doctor. "Yes," he murmured, "Zechs told me of his decision last night. But I don't think it would be prudent of me to disclose anything before he did."
Sally shook her head. "No need to, Treize. If you're still here then he has to have chosen you. I simply cannot see you staying on after the fact had he chosen to stay with Noin. You would have been gone, fog or no fog."
He cast a sidelong glance at her, one eyebrow lifting. "That's very perceptive of you, Doctor. May I take it you don't approve?"
"Noin is my best friend," Sally said frankly. "She was deliriously happy when Zechs agreed to marry her, now she's going to be heartbroken. I have a few problems with that. But what I really want to know is, was if worth it? Your coming here, when you did, doing the things you did... was it all worth it, Treize?"
He turned to face her. "It was a matter of being with Miriald," he said softly. "Not just of 'winning' him, but of whether the bond he and I have shared for so many years was still there... had it survived the horrors we've all been through. There hasn't been a day gone by when I didn't think about him, and whether we could be reunited somehow... This was my one chance to make that happen. Was it worth it? I would have to say my answer is an unqualified 'yes.'"
"You're a very persuasive man, Treize," Sally mused. "If I listened to you long enough I might actually believe this was for the best... but I'm not there yet."
"Understood, my good doctor," Treize said and smiled softly at her.
Just then the chapel door opened and Zechs and Noin walked slowly out of the building. He was supporting her with an arm around her shoulder and looked up at Sally as they climbed the steps to the terrace.
"Sally?" Zechs said, "Noin says she'd like to talk with you. Is that all right?"
"Of course," Sally said warmly, and slipped her arm around Noin as Zechs slowly let go.
The two men watched them disappear into the drawing room, then Treize put his arms around Zechs from behind. "Are you all right, love?" he murmured, lips touching the younger man's ear.
"I suppose," Zechs answered. "Just sad... and very, very humbled." Then he leaned back against Treize and closed his eyes. "Promise me you won't let go of me, Treize," he said quietly.
"Never," Treize whispered. "You have nothing more to fear."
End of Part 19
(:./kumiko/rosen19)
