19-Jul-2000
here is my tiny ficlet, in response to the challenge to put "spandex is to the body as coffee is to the mind" in a fic.
The early morning hush of the pilots' latest safehouse was broken by whimpers and soft thudding noises. [no- not *those* kind of noises, you hentai! Sorry]
Heero entered the kitchen, and looked at the other pilots, who were sitting around the table, looking very disheveled. It looked as if their clothes had been slept in. Wufei had his head in his hands, and his eyes closed. He kept repeating "There is no justice!" and then moaning, over and over.(1)
Quatre was slouched in his chair, head dangling over the back. One hand held a cold compress to his head, while tears were slowly leaking down his face.
Duo was under the table entirely, gently banging his head against the table leg. THUD. "Never again." THUD. "Never again" THUD "Never again."
Trowa has leaning over the table, both hands clutched around a cup of coffee. He kept trying to drink it, but his hands were trembling so much, he managed to spill more on the table than he drank.
Trowa glared as Heero went to the stove and began to fry some eggs. (Both Wufei and Quatre began to turn green as they smelled the cooking eggs. Duo didn't seem to notice. THUD. THUD. THUD.)
"Damnit, Heero," Trowa yelled, and then winced. He continued speaking in a much quieter tone of voice. "You drank more than *any* of us last night. I personally saw you drink *seven* tequila-orange juices.(2)"
"Don't forget the shooters. He had five of those." came Duo's voice. The thudding resumed.
"Oh, God, yes." Trowa said, rubbing a hand over his bloodshot eyes. "I've had almost a whole pot of coffee, and I *still* feel like shit. Why don't *you* have a hangover?"
"Because there is no justice!" Wufei yelled, and then fell off his chair. "Ow, ow, ow."
Heero turned from the stove, and almost smirked. "Because spandex is to the body as coffee is to the mind." He turned back to his eggs.
Trowa blinked several times. "What the *hell* is that supposed to mean?"
"Just as coffee stimulates your body, and tightens up your thinking, spandex stimulates and tightens your body. It speeds up my mind and metabolism, burning off the effects of alcohol."
Duo's hand came from under the table, and began patting the surface blindly. "Actually, what Hee-chan means is that his shorts confine all his blood to his dick, so there not enough blood left in his body to give him a headache." He ducked the spatula thrown at him. "Now give me the damn tylenol."
thus endeth the ficlet.
Notes:
(1) this sentence is *almost* directly taken from "Candy Cane Methodology", but i forgot who wrote it. It's archived at GW Addiction [ndlr: in Lys ap Adin's section]
(2)otherwise known as Orange Whips. Always have a lemon slice to squeeze in, and *never* have more than two
hyuy
firm believer in the powers of tylenol
(:./hyuy/spandex)
