"So you need a room." Quatre concluded. "What happened to Hilde's?"
"Oh boy." Duo groaned. "That was a mess, well you know, I was there to give Heero some time and stuff. But Noin has been her roommate ever since I left to live with Heero. Well, I woke up, musta been at about erm 4 in the morning. Way before I'm coherent, but anyway, I wake up to this pained, strangled scream shaking the pictures off the walls. I mean a from-the-bottom-of-the-gut scream."
Quatre nods for Duo to continue, his posture showing interest.
"So naturally, I think someone's attacked or something. I don't even bother with my pants. So there I am in the hall, my hair fritzed, in black boxers, a gun in one hand and a knife in the other. Suddenly Hilde ZOOMS past me in her bathrobe. Her expression was just terrified. Now I'm damned ready to attack, no one messes with my sis right?" Duo snorted.
He jumped to his feet, wildly acting out the pantomime. "Hot on her heels, is Noin, her face not just flushed but BRIGHT red, like she'd be slapped all over. Her expression was more pissed than I've ever seen."
Duo raised his hand, striking a pose like an avenging She-Viking. "She hadda huge wad of muslin strips in one hand and a popsicle stick fulla wax in the other hand, just globs of the stuff stringing back behind her like some goopy streamer, screaming 'GET YOUR ASS IN THAT CHAIR BITCH! IT'S YOUR TURN!""
"What...?!"
"Apparently they were just trying out their new facial wax stuff they just got, to do it at home instead of going to the salon."
"Oh Allah..."
Duo nodded, too frazzled to notice Quatre's whisper was not from sympathy but a genuine effort not to break into hysterical laughter. "Apparently, Hilde does NOT have a career in waxing. From the police reconstruction, she tried to wax Noin's entire face at once to save time. I guess it hurt, and Noin doesn't have any eyebrows anymore... or eyelashes for that matter. Well, needless to say, stuff started flying." Duo looked panicked. "THEN, they both wanted ME to hold the other one down while they either "finished the job" or got nasty painful revenge."
He visibly did a full body cringe, impressive as he never broke stride in his flustered pacing. "Nuh uh! No way! I KNOW what time of month it was; I had it marked on my calendar. I would like to sleep safe knowing that I will NOT wake up, tied down, with the preparations for a bikini wax and a very evilly grinning gal telling me it'll only sting for a second."
Quatre lost his composure at that, he half collapsed on the coffee table, giggling.
"Maa, what's so funny! I was terrified! Jesus! We may have been terrorists, but they are /women/!"
"Oh I know. I grew up with 29 sisters," he said as he finally got his mirth under control, his shoulders still shaking. "All of them with childhood aspirations to be fashion designers or hair stylists." The Arabian had a sneaking, perverse pleasure while watching Duo go pale.
"Oh god man, I'm sorry. How the hell did you survive?"
"Barbie dolls make wonderful hostages." Quatre replied solemnly.
Owari
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