12-Nov-2000
Category: Action, Adventure, Romance, ANGST
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4x5 (Combinations there of)
Rating: NC-17 (5x4)
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made or sought here.
NOTES: All righty, we have a nice little LEMON interlude here, 5x4 for those
of you who were wondering. LEMON as in graphically detailed consentual
male/male sex. If such bothers you be warned now. There is Wufei emotional
angst. Bonne will be the wonderful puppeteer of Wufei. I'm responsible for Quatre.
The limo slowed, then turned and dipped slightly, going dark as it slid out of the artificial light into the cover of the hotel's private car park. Quatre silently thanked which ever one of his comrades had put forth the standing order to have the limo park only in the garage, well away from the prying eyes of the press and public.
"In fact, when you get tired of being the villain." Wufei said, kissing Quatre's neck again. "I have thought of another amusing game to play for the press. I will jilt you, and you will then be the hero."
Quatre's faced paled and as the limo rolled to a stop, Quatre wriggled off Wufei's lap, opened the door and slipped out of the car. He leaned against the dark metal skin and looked up at the florescent lights. Though he knew Wufei was pulling his chain, he couldn't help feeling the pain in his chest as he remembered the look on Trowa's face.
By Allah, the ruse hurt ... so damn much. Taking a deep breath, Quatre reined in his feelings and looked over apologetically towards Wufei as the young dragon stepped gracefully from the car.
"I'm afraid my sense of humor is not active enough to enjoy the wry amusement in that statement Wufei."
Wufei turned to place his arms against the car on either side of Quatre, trapping him. "That's because you did not get the punch line. You are supposed to ask who I will jilt you for."
Effectively trapped Quatre lifted his brows and smiled ruefully as he crossed his arms over his chest and peered up at Wufei. "Who, will you jilt me for?" He asked politely but there was the beginning of the barest hint of a twinkle in his eyes.
Wufei smiled with a simply vicious amusement. "Heero Yuy. Amused yet? Think about it."
Quatre blinked, then gave a soft chuckle, head lolling to the side where it rested back against the top of the car. " I guess.. since I'm supposed to be taking up with Duo next."
Wufei nodded. "And think how thrilled the note-sender will be." Without waiting for an answer, Wufei moved his body against Quatre's and began kissing his neck.
Quatre remained braced against the limo, thinking about that. He was about to say something when soft lips touched his neck and he felt his knees go wobbly. He should never have let Wufei and Trowa know about his neck. Both knew how to exploit the information. Now, instead of an intelligent quip of a comeback, he only managed a soft little. "Mmmhmm."
Wufei did not hurry his actions, giving himself a nice long taste of Winner skin, kissing, licking and nibbling. He felt Quatre's legs waver and pressed him firmly against the car.
Only when he felt thoroughly satisfied, for the moment, did he step back and allow the blond to breathe and possibly walk.
Quatre arched his head up, to give Wufei full access to whatever part of his neck was not encased in tie and shirt. He shivered, feeling the raw heat of his lover against his own body, the compact muscles and the reassuring weight pressing him against the unforgiving car.
He made a little noise when Wufei stopped the skillful attentions to his neck and stepped back. Quatre caught at the still open door to keep from melting into a little puddle on the asphalt. Eyes the color of the sea in the middle of a hurricane looked up into Wufei's and Quatre gave a little grin. "You ... are distracting as hell."
Wufei nodded and held out his hand. "Good," he said simply.
Quatre released the door, pushing it shut as he stepped away from the limo and took Wufei's hand. His small fingers twined around Wufei's and squeezed tightly. "Heero Yuy indeed. He always gets *all* the girl's." Quatre groused good naturedly as he moved towards the elevator waiting for them on the sub-ground floor.
Wufei lifted Quatre's hand and gave his wrist a little nip. "I noticed," he said. "I think it was the time when Trowa and I showed up, after that absence, and they next thing we knew we were staring at each other in an empty bedroom and a certain Arabian was running down the hall barefoot to throw himself at said Heero Yuy."
Quatre gave a little snort as he stepped into the elevator and pressed the code to take them up to the floor where his rooms were. "Was it the fact that I ran down the hall barefoot? Or the fact that I glomped Heero that you're fussing about"
"Where I was brought up, both actions would have been considered both flagrant ... and wanton." Wufei informed him, pulling Quatre closer to his side. The corner of his mouth twitched but his tone was coolly serious.
Undeterred by the cool tone, Quatre lifted his little chin lifted and he gave the Chinese boy the full effect of a saucy expression. "I thought you'd already labeled me, terribly wanton."
Wufei nodded, lifting his hand again to kiss the palm hotly. He smiled a slow smile. "True," he said.
"Uh, huh. " Quatre said nodding as he stepped a little closer to the other boy, reaching up to toy with the fastening of Wufei's shirt. " Then I was just being.. true to my wicked, sexually insatiable ways." He grinned challengingly up at Wufei.
Wufei failed to control the suddenly laugh in response to that remark. "Well, I never thought you'd admit it," he said, grinning back. He reached down and lifted the blond off his feet as the elevator doors opened and carried him the rest of the way to the room.
Quatre growled fiercely and swatted Wufei's shoulder. "And they call me *wicked* If they only knew." Then he eeped as his feet left the ground and his arms automatically reached up and around Wufei's neck. Immediately trusting even as he laughed. "Wufei! I can walk." Though he seemed quite content where he was.
"There are ways of taking care of that little detail," Wufei assured him as he opened the door to the room and went in, kicking it shut behind him. "Very specific ways..."
Quatre squirmed in Wufei's arms, leaning up to nibble on a handy earlobe. "Mmm.. going to share them with me?" He asked archly.
"No," Wufei said, proceeding to the bedroom. "Just inflict them on you."
What followed was a wildness that neither boy had expected. Making love had been low on the list of priorities over the past few weeks as they had produced the smoke screen for Trowa. By the end of a day filled with accusing words and curious stares, Wufei and Quatre had simple held each other, staving off the dark shadows of the night.
Now, the pent up emotion exploded between them. Wufei ran possessive hands over the small blonde's body, reaffirming his right to touch Quatre anyway and anywhere his heart desired. Quatre writhed beneath the attention lavished on his sensitive skin, lost in the skill of Wufei's love making. Still, when the young dragon had moved to take his lover, the little blond bucked his hips, thwarting Wufei's attempt to penetrate him.
Challenging his lover on the most primitive level.
The Chinese boy had responded with an aggressive growl. Catching his wriggling, little love and impaling him in one hard thrust, coupled with a feral clamping of his teeth across the little blonde's neck. Answering Quatre's wordless question and firmly reestablishing the emotion of *Mine* in both their minds.
From that moment forward the coupling was not one of skillful torment, but rather of a primal taking. Wufei fucked his lover with deep, rapid thrusts, angling to send an impact of pleasure through the blonde's body with each stroke, his mouth and teeth moving restlessly over Quatre's neck and shoulders as their bodies moved together in hot urgency.
Quatre dropped away his learned controls and actions designed to wring skillfully applied pleasure out of their bodies. Instead he responded to the wildness of Wufei's taking with his own primal and instinctive response. Bracing his hands, fingers splayed as he bucked back into the hard thrusts and arching his neck and shoulders up into the bites and kisses across his slender upper body. He lost track of trying to breath as the physical pleasure and emotional released twisted together. His eyes were closed tightly, the tears held back from before leaking freely now as he cried out Wufei's name and came hard against the bed.
Wufei moaned as Quatre's body shuddered around his and he was thrown over the edge of ecstasy by the sensation, emptying his essence deep inside his lover, holding him tightly as his senses exploded. Seconds later, he collapsed, pinning Quatre to the bed as he panted.
Quatre collapsed beneath the weight of his muscular lover, something he'd wanted to feel for a long long time. The compact, sleek body laying damply across his own. He had to take short, shallow breaths but it was worth it. Quatre ducked his head turning his cheek up towards the ceiling as he sprawled comfortably beneath Wufei. He could feel the pound of the Chinese boy's heart against his back and wondered if Wufei could feel the answering race of his own young heart.
Wufei relaxed, his only movement a slight nuzzled against Quatre's cheek. His breathing gradually slowed and he shifted, just slightly, still covering the blond, just taking a little of the weight over to one side. He kissed Quatre's cheek tenderly. "Love," he breathed softly and licked a little of the salty moisture away.
Quatre gave a little wriggle as Wufei moved, he liked the weight and he didn't make any move to dislodge the other boy. Instead he relaxed further, nuzzling tenderly back against Wufei's face. His eyes closed and Wufei could feel his slender body shuddering beneath more of the silent tears. Quatre could feel the strength, that had started to slip away from him in the car, coming back. He sobbed harder as he whispered.
"I need you." Perhaps an even greater admission of vulnerability then the classic three little words.
Wufei slid his arms under and around the slender body beneath him, holding him tightly. He kissed Quatre's cheek again and again. "I need you too, koi ... desperately," he said, his voice a low throb of total vulnerability.
Quatre's restless hands reached up and around till his fingers could thread with Wufei's, holding the other boy tightly against his own chest, even as Wufei held him. He twisted his head, blindly seeking the lips that kissed his cheek. When he couldn't capture them, he pulled one of the young dragon's hands up to his mouth, kissing the fingers and knuckles with a single minded devotion. There was so much he wanted to say and the words tripped over themselves, making no sense so he eventually fell quiet except for where he pressed his lips against Wufei's palm, kissing the skin desperately.
Wufei sighed and slowly leaned back a little more, then turned Quatre in his arms until they were face to face. He leaned a bit of his weight back over the blond and bent to kiss Quatre deeply, for a long time.
Quatre didn't fight against Wufei's movements, helping to turn himself around and he sighed contentedly when the Chinese boy lay back across him. He put all of himself into the kiss, letting it soothe his soul and calm him as the love making had driven him wild. Finally, leaning back, he reached up and touched Wufei's cheekbone, grinning a little through the dampness that made his vision blur.
"You're wonderful to put up with some of my more.. erm.. emotional quirks." Quatre stroked his hand down along Wufei's shoulder.
Wufei kissed Quatre again, then leaned his forehead against the blonde's. "I'm not wonderful," he said. "I'm... selfish and... difficult. And I love you... want you, need you." Wufei sighed softly. "I'm a hard shell with a brittle texture and a... a weak interior. But I love you. You are stuck with me. Too late."
Quatre released Wufei's hands so that he could lift his up and brush his fingers tenderly through dark, silky hair. Turning his forehead against the Chinese boy's, he kissed the bridge of Wufei's nose ... which was what he could easily reach, with quick, loving little brushes of his lips.
"Shhhsss." He whispered, feeling his heart tremble but... this time feeling much stronger beneath the strain. "You are not weak. If anything you're too strong for your own good. But I'm here and I love you, obsessively Wufei Chang with everything I am and I never want you anywhere but with me. I'd tell that to the world if you'd let me." He took a slow breath and nuzzled their faces together. " I needed you, desperately today. I don't know if you could understand just how desperately. I was loosing my own strength, Wufei."
"Then take mine," Wufei said softly, almost reverently. "Take anything you want, as much as you want." He kissed Quatre deeply. "I won't let this... ghost tear at us, koi."
Quatre took a long slow breath, tasting his lover on his lips from the kiss and he leaned back, taking Wufei's face in his small hands and looking up, directly into dark, fathomless eyes. "I understand." He whispered finally. "I understand ... and I will let you do this, your way. Whatever you need."
Wufei's eyes closed a moment and then he looked back into Quatre's. "I won't betray your trust," he said softly. "I swear it." He leaned his head against Quatre's blond curls. "You are like a piece of jade ... precious and rare, powerful and beautiful," Wufei said softly. "You carry my love and now my honor in your heart. Because I know that is the one place it will be safe."
Quatre watched Wufei's eyes almost possessively as he spoke. His own, open passages to his soul, something that was becoming more and more rare as the days went by but for the Chinese boy a timeless show of trust and love. His hands stroked across broad shoulders, tears ... healing, joyful types, drifted down his cheek.
He took a trembling breath, speaking with the same sense of utter awe and wonder. "My beloved dragon." The three words a promise and a declaration.
Wufei bent and nuzzled Quatre's neck and shoulder. Finding a place that fit, he relaxed, resting there. Quatre cuddled down, happily playing pillow for his dark eyed love.
Holding Wufei, Quatre slept for a couple of hours. Good hours of deep and trouble free sleep, not waking till the dark of the evening. It took Quatre a moment to reorient himself as to where he was and what had happened. Well, a couple of things that had happened were pretty apparent right off the bat and he grinned impishly up at the dark ceiling.
Reaching up, Quatre lightly stroked small fingers through the dark hair that rested tucked into the curve of his neck. He was effectively pinned to the bed and he couldn't quite help the little giggle that snuck past his lips.
The chest resting against his moved with a deeper breath. Wufei shifted and lifted his head, one hand tightening possessively around the blonde's waist. He looked down, memorizing, then yawned. Settling back, he nuzzled the side of Quatre's face softly.
Quatre scooted his body a little closer to Wufei's when the other boy's hand tightened around his hip. He couldn't stop the loving smile that crossed his features when Wufei looked down at him and he nuzzled back against the warm soft skin of his lover's cheek.
Where his arm wrapped up around the other boy's body, Quatre stroked his fingers down along the Chinese boy's spine, finding the point at the base of the lower back and then tickling his nails lightly across the sensitive spot.
That brought a soft growl from Wufei's throat and his mouth moved down, tongue darting out to taste a tender earlobe. Nice. Next ... suck the little bit of flesh into his mouth to teethe on... Wufei's male flesh stirred quickly, pressing against the blonde's thigh.
Suck ... lick ... teethe....
Quatre shivered against Wufei, his eyes half closing and the tickling motion of his fingers stuttered to a stop as he was effectively distracted by the actions of that skillful mouth. The feel of Wufei's heat pressing against the skin of his thigh caused Quatre to move restlessly. The whole package was wonderfully distracting and at the same time it tickled a wicked little impulse in the blonde's busy little brain.
Quatre shifted against Wufei. He couldn't effectively escape but he squirmed a bit, till he could turn his face and whisper into a shell shaped ear.
"I have an idea."
Wufei's hand loosened from it's hold on Quatre's waist and moved slowly across skin until it captured the blonde's warming shaft, fingers curling around to squeeze slightly.
"Mmmm?"
Wufei's mouth did not stop it's dedicated assault on the Arabian's earlobe though, only now he was varying the activity with and occasional swipe of a very wet tongue into the inviting ear opening.
Quatre gave a little whimper and his hips pressed upwards into the hold of those warm fingers. His length responding with a strong, interested throb. He shivered as Wufei attacked his ear with renewed vigor. Then the little blond growled low in his throat.
"Dance with me?" He ground the words out in a hurried manner before he lost the capability for speech beyond pleading cries of his lover's name.
Wufei's mouth withdrew from the now-moist ear but busy lips and tongue were not still as he moved, licking, nibbling kisses down the side of the blonde's throat, feeling the pulse throb and increase beneath the skin. Wufei's fingers stroked his lover's length, then repeated the actions again and again. He shifted slightly, rubbing his own erection against the blond. Dance, hmmm? Wufei smiled between kisses. I'll dance with you, koi, oh yes.
Quatre growled low in his throat as he shifted into those strokes. Much longer and Wufei was going to have him so distracted and aroused he wouldn't know which end of the bed he was on. But, the Winner Will came to his rescue. He knew that his beloved dragon was reserved in public. He knew that it was a part of Wufei's upbringing, culture and beliefs that he, Quatre, had no right trying to *overcome*.
Because of this, after the first couple of times he had invited Wufei to join himself and Trowa on the dance floor, he had quickly backed off the subject. Still, he wanted something and that devious little mind was at work as how to get it!
Peeking over he saw that the bedroom door was open, leading out into the living room. It took every physical strength he had to wriggle away from Wufei's hands and touch. He rolled wickedly right over top of the dragon, gaining his little feet and leaning down he caught up those beautiful lips in a deep, passion filled kiss. For his trouble, he was rewarded with a low growl. There were hands reaching and if he truly intended to escape from the bed, he'd better move sprightly now.
Quatre ducked and quickly delivered a passionate little nip to Wufei's throat, then he danced back out of reach of those hands. If they got ahold of him, he knew he'd never make it into the living room.
Eschewing clothing, Quatre moved quickly into the living room and to the entertainment center. He totally ignored the fact that he was roaming around buck naked past windows. Little exhibitionist that he was. Plugging in certain music choices he nodded to himself and then toggled the speakers in the bedroom to play. Leaving the ones in the living room off.
As Quatre made it back to the bedroom, however, his eyes were met with an empty bed. In the split second that his mind had time to register this fact, he was captured by a pair of very strong arms from that blind spot by the doorway ... old trick ... fell for it... Quatre was pulled against a warm golden body. It surprised the blond to realize that the Chinese boy was moving ... swaying ... in fact...
Waltzing...
After he got over the immediate shock, Quatre was thrilled. Quatre was not surprised to find that Wufei Chang was a graceful and accomplished dancer.
The music was propulsive and the arm around Quatre's waist was locked like steel, almost lifting Quatre from his toes as Wufei spun them around in a tight circle, looking down with a slight smile. There was something... a bit wicked about the look in those ebony eyes though ... for a while they danced, bodies pressed a little more tightly together than the step called for ... hot, firm flesh pressing, rubbing...
Still moving, Wufei bent and captured Quatre's mouth in a deep and possessive kiss.
Quatre was watching his lover's eyes the entire time. His own reflecting that singular joy that seemed to burn from deep within his own soul. When they had first become lovers, Quatre had secretly worried that he would be confused by the differences between the Wufei he interacted with in public and the one in private. Now he was fiercely glad for those two different young men. He liked having this wicked, teasing, possessive creature all to his own in the privacy of their rooms. He didn't mind sharing with Trowa and at the same time he no longer felt confused by the two very different Wufei's he lived with.
His sister Aselyee had helped him learn the waltz. Most importantly she had helped him learn some of the neat little tricks you could do while waltzing and still look like you were being *proper*. Quatre stepped closer to Wufei, letting their bodies lock together hotly, returning the friction enhancing rub of erection against erection and against soft thigh. His lips softened beneath the Chinese boy's, parting to give him entrance into his mouth. Gracefully submitting this time.
The kiss tried to steal breath from both partners, as they whirled in graceful circles on the bedroom floor. Then Wufei leaned back, his mouth curving very slightly, his eyes showing a deeply kindled fire that was increasing.
Wufei moved his hands, though they still turned with the propulsive rhythm, and fastened on Quatre's waist with tensile strength. The blonde's feet completely left the floor. Quatre could not have touched the carpet, even on point. Lifted... Wufei wrapped Quatre's legs around his own hips and then the blond felt something beneath and between his legs, pressing up ... and the music played on.
Quatre followed Wufei's lead gracefully. Kissing his lover passionately as they skillfully negotiated the bedroom floor. He felt dizzy and wonderful all at the same time as they twirled, moving as one unit. As *together* in this simple act as they had been in the bed, or on the battlefield.
The thought sent a shiver through the little blond and his arms were already tightening around the other boy's upper torso when Wufei lifted him.
In an automatic and trusting action, Quatre wrapped his legs around Wufei's waist, guided there by the young dragon's hands. Quatre locked his heels together around Wufei's lower back, using his arms across strong shoulders to help lever himself up a little till he could look down into those dark passionate eyes.
The tender smile he gave Wufei was one of those very rare, secretive little expressions that were unique responses to the dragon.
Wufei drank the look as he pressed his body up into his lover, adjusting until they were joined physically as well as in spirit. Then, he continued to follow the music. Continued to turn in slow spirals around the room, as his hips reacted to the heat around his flesh.
One, two, three, one, two, three....
Quatre held the look until that first press of his lover's flesh into his body. His hands slid back a little gripping broad shoulders in an almost punishing hold as he arched up and bent back a little to help deepen the penetration. Laying himself back, trusting in Wufei's natural grace and balance to keep them both from tumbling onto the ground. Quatre felt as if his head were spinning and his lips parted on a low, wondering moan.
Breathing deeply, almost harshly, as his body fought the rhythmic control, Wufei concentrated on the hands holding him so tightly, the warmth around and between them, the soft sound escaping from his lover's lips. The spins became a little rougher, and with a low surrendering growl, Wufei spun them close to the bedroom wall and pinned Quatre to it, stilling their traveling course.
But the dance was far from over.
Back in the perfect rhythm and flow of the music, Wufei flexed his hips, driving up and then back, mouth seeking the Arabian's hungrily as he ground Quatre to the wall with primal need.
Quatre had always wondered about that part of Wufei that he had inadvertently triggered that night, so very long ago and yet ... not so long ago ... sometimes it was hard for the little blond to remember the times before he had come to the young dragon's bed. But he remember the fierceness of that first kiss, feeling it now in the way Wufei moved him against the wall.
Quatre shivered a little as the cool smooth surface pressed against his shoulderblades, giving no ground, even as the hard body flattened him. Heat and cool assaulted his senses and Quatre gave a sharp cry, even as his body tightened around Wufei's, matching the rhythmic thrusts with little wriggles and presses of his own pinned hips.
The cry was cut off as lips tangled passionately with lips. He threw everything into the kiss. Love, need, passion, joy, submission and dominance all tangled together as Quatre laid all of himself bare for his beloved.
Wufei felt himself submerge in that flood of feeling, accepting everything he was getting from his blond lover, accepting with that so-long denied need and offering himself in turn. He felt Quatre's muscles tighten around him and drove deep, drawn to his lover's pleasure spot like steel to a magnet. He began to shudder internally as his release rose from the bottom of his soul.
Quatre's hands tightened on Wufei's shoulders. Small, neatly trimmed nails would leave marks so tightly did he dig into his lover's strong muscles. Perhaps, here, Wufei would find the answer to the questions he posed to Trowa that night. Quatre never had needed to give himself fully to the young dragon, unless it had been *his* choice to do so. His choice, as it was now.
Quatre broke the kiss as his head snapped back, thunking against the wall, the sound mingling with his hoarse shout of pleasure as Wufei's length found that spot within his body. The friction generated by their two bodies and the internal stimulation along with the erotic feelings of the night as a whole and the emotional connection reestablished, all of it drove the little blond over the edge, leaving him shuddering and weak in Wufei's arms.
Wufei held them together, until both bodies began to ease, then he unlocked his knees and slid to the carpet, bringing Quatre with him. He rested his head on Quatre's shoulder, panting heavily with exertion and the aftermath of their lovemaking, his arms continuing to hold them together as sweat moved slowly down his skin.
After his heart slowed a little from the wild beating of before, he turned his face, nuzzling his lover's neck and in a somewhat ragged voice whispered hoarsely, "May I... have this dance?"
Quatre slipped right down he wall with Wufei, his legs and arms still wrapped around the other boy tightly as he curled his body protectively around his lover. He turned and rested his cheek against the silky dark hair, feeling the dampness of sweat. His fingers stroked soothingly along strained muscles, playing across slick skin.
Pressed tightly against Wufei's chest, the Chinese boy could feel the soft vibration of Quatre's silent chuckle. The Arabian turned and placed a soft, tender kiss against Wufei's temple, whispering.
"Always."
Wufei sought Quatre's lips and kissed the Arabian tenderly. Then he leaned his forehead against the blonde's. "Don't ask me to Charleston."
Quatre couldn't quite stop the giggle that escaped him, a giggle that grew into rich, if somewhat exhausted, laughter. His arms tightened around Wufei's shoulders. "And you call *me* silly." Though there was no need to whisper, he kept his voice low and intimate.
Wufei reached up and traced the lines of the smile on Quatre's face delightedly. "I'd only consent to be silly for you," he confided. "That's better ... better than the look I saw on those news vids."
The smile remained, though it softened into the gentle expression that only his lover got. Quatre reached up and stroked his fingers lightly down across Wufei's cheekbones, following the line of his jaw. " I missed you. " He said simply, turquoise eyes studying every inch of Wufei's face, before coming back to the dark eyes.
"You'll be gone in the morning ... won't you." He said it without any incrimination or accusation.
"Why would you think that?" Wufei asked, frowning slightly as he brushed at damp blond bangs.
Quatre leaned into the touch of Wufei's hand, his eyes closing halfway in bliss at the simple pleasure brought to him by his lover's touch. "Because ... you have ghosts to chase." He whispered.
Wufei sighed softly. Such a simple sound and so unacceptable anywhere but in the Arabian's presence. "Chasing ghosts... isn't usually very productive. Better to let this one chase me. I stay with you. Until I have something more to go on," he added, regretfully. "I'm not here entirely for show, you know. I plan to keep you safe."
Quatre listened to Wufei. His fingers never halting in their gentle touches to the other boy's features. He didn't do anything selfish like jump up and down with glee when Wufei said he wasn't leaving but a certain ... very subtle tension left his muscles. A tension so slight that it wasn't until it left him that the Chinese boy noticed it's presence.
Quatre grinned, blushing a little as he ducked his head. "My bodyguard." It was the only answer he could think of to the emotions of warmth and comfort he felt.
"Till my last breath." Wufei said, stroking Quatre's face reverently. "Now tell me ... did you learn what you wanted to ... from this separation?"
Quatre leaned his face into Wufei's touch, enjoying everything about it. Whether those hands were touching him in passion, tenderness, or swatting him when he over extended in practice. He took a long slow breath, thoughtful as he carefully choose his answer.
"Yes, I... learned that I can.. function as I need to. That I can still be who I need to be and that I can let you and Trowa be who you need to be, even when that means watching one or both of you walk into danger. That I can do that and still function in the role I need to. That the fear I feel for you won't paralyze me." He gave a gentle smile. "But, I also learned that the joy and comfort of my life is missing when we're separated. That as strong as I can be... I'm stronger and happier when you're here. That... I don't feel so ... alone anymore."
Wufei kissed Quatre tenderly and for a long time. "I understand every word," he said at last and the emotion in his voice was intense. It wasn't hard for him to recall what it was like to be alone. It was shudderingly easy.
He sighed and leaned into Quatre's shoulder for a moment. "Quatre..." he said and his voice was something other people never heard and the blond only rarely - hesitant.
Quatre's arms tightened around Wufei's shoulders. His hand slid up, cradling the back of Wufei's head gently against his shoulder as he laid his cheek against Wufei's temple. The position was sheltering, loving. A silent promise that he would always be there to protect his dragon, even from himself.
"Yes?" He urged gently.
Wufei lifted his head and looked into Quatre's eyes. He swallowed and then spoke, unlocking something he'd kept tightly bound inside until he could bring it here.
"Why... didn't I know?" he said. "Trowa... how could I not... know...?" His face stayed composed but tears slipped from eyes wide with self-judgement.
Quatre watched those dark, brilliant eyes as Wufei spoke. He tucked the Chinese boy's head back against his shoulder, rocking them both a little as he mulled over the answer, reaching down deep into his own heart and his own memories, touching on knowledge that he himself had shunned at the time.
"I don't know Wufei." He whispered softly. "Trowa's emotions run deep... and still. He ... has learned to cover his own truth so well that sometimes even *he* cannot touch it. I remember one time, I heard a very old song called Tears of a Clown.. and it has always reminded me of Trowa, even now. Look at how much he's kept from me? The anger ... the aggression?" Quatre took a long slow breath.
"I think ... he was so desperately torn koi. He was in love with us both and you were so.. formidable... he didn't know which way to go. He felt he couldn't share it with me ... something that I will never forgive myself for ... he couldn't approach you, he feared he would dishonor you. So he was stuck.. and the only thing he could think to do was bury it as far and as deep as he could."
Quatre leaned back a little and found Wufei's gaze, giving his lover that gentle little smile before whispering. "For what it's worth koi... I'm glad that he ultimately failed."
Wufei accepted everything Quatre said about Trowa, knowing the Arabian was the only person in the universe who had a chance of knowing these things. But the expression in his eyes didn't change. He bowed his head.
"I should have known," he whispered, with the weight of a judge on the bench.
Quatre reached up and gently took the back of Wufei's neck, giving the other boy a soft shake. "Who stood in this suite and chastised me, a week ago for wanting to get past all of Trowa's masks hmm? How did you put it... 'It is for Trowa to share those with us ... and does the gift not mean more when freely given'? I suppose I am paraphrasing it a little but ... you answered your own question beloved."
"If I am not allowed to be omnipotent and responsible for all.. then neither are you." Quatre spoke the words with just a touch of gentle, loving tease.
A little more moisture slipped down golden cheeks. "Not all," Wufei said quietly. "Just this." He closed his eyes and began taking this judgment and placing it back in a deep box next to ... so many others.
Except, this time Quatre gave chase. He pulled back just a little more so that he could frame those aristocratic features in his small hands, stroking his thumbs gently across closed eyelids.
"What... would the knowledge have changed Wufei? What would you have done differently?" He spoke softly but fiercely.
"I... I don't know," Wufei said softly. "I... *seen*... that's what I would have done differently. Looked and seen. The way you saw me. Oh God, Quatre... how could I..."
Quatre tilted his head thoughtfully. "How could you what Wufei?" He moved.. carefully forward, holding the Chinese boy tenderly.
Wufei swallowed. "Not ... feel it."
Quatre took a slow breath and gently stroked his fingers along Wufei's cheek. He spoke softly.. but the words were wrenched from deep in his own soul, feeling the pain that he felt, not for himself but for his lover.
"Because ... you were too busy hating yourself to believe we could love you."
Dark eyes looked up, startled. "Is that ... why?" he asked, clearly trusting any answer the Arabian might choose to make without reserve.
Quatre looked deep down into his own soul, seeking the answers. He slowly.. but thoroughly opened up that part of him that he kept so tightly covered and protected, laying his empathic heart bare so that he could feel Wufei. He gasped and shuddered hard, feeling a little more then he expected, including the weight of the hold Wufei's ancestors still had on him.
His hands gripped tightly on powerful biceps and tears leaked down freely from his large bright eyes as he opened them and turned them towards Wufei's face.
"Oh, Koi." He whispered before his arms tightened around Wufei's shoulders, holding him tightly as if the little blond was trying to crawl inside of his lover's soul to displace the desperate fragility he saw there.
"See yourself ... as I see you, Wufei." Quatre whispered softly.
Wufei looked into Quatre's eyes, feeling the warmth and energy he perceived as light coming from the little blond. For a moment he almost flinched, not wanting to expose his lover to what he thought of as his own darkness. Then he found his courage. Unable to answer what he felt in any other way, he pressed reverent lips to Quatre's mouth.
Quatre returned the kiss, gently and lovingly. He drew back, just a little looking into Wufei's eyes. "Stop being so angry with yourself my love. Then, look again."
Taking a deep breath, Wufei vowed to find a way to obey those instructions. But it wasn't something he could do with just a thought. "I will try," he said at last. Then, "I must ... for you, and for him."
Quatre gently shook his head. "No ... for yourself Wufei." The little Arabian smiled gently. "I will always love you ... even if you can't. You'll never disappoint me for being who you are." The last three words were spoken very deliberately to punctuate their importance.
Wufei tightened his arms a little. "Oh, Quatre," he breathed. Then he shook his head. "You think I do nothing for myself? You have no idea how incredibly selfish my love for you is, then. Yet see how I insist on it?"
Quatre reached up, stroking his fingers along Wufei's jaw, his eyes were puzzled. "I see only how deep and protective your love is Wufei. I know only how safe and cherished I feel with you. How can that be selfish of *you*?"
Wufei managed a shrug. "It just is," he said stubbornly, the Chinese pilot sounding about 7 years old.
The little blond couldn't help the smile that came across his lips at the tone. "Yet ... you let me go when I needed to."
"That was selfish too," Wufei insisted. "I wanted you to be sure. Don't expect me to do it too often though."
"Don't expect me to ask for it too often." Quatre said with a hint of promise to his tone. He did not like being separated from his lover.
Then Quatre sobered, looking at Wufei with loving tenderness. "You are so ... delightfully stubborn. However, when it comes to *your* safety and happiness, *I* can be delightfully stubborn as well. So ... if it takes me telling you every hour on the hour that I love you, adore you, need you, want you, find you a beautiful joyful light in my life ... warts and all Chang Wufei... past and all ... then I will. And I'll drive you crazy doing it." Though the words might have sounded a little over the top, something in the Arabian's tone told the Chinese boy that he would do, just that if he had to.
Wufei gave the blond a squeeze. Then he leaned back. Deciding his legs might just hold weight, he stood up, lifting Quatre with him. Good thing the bed was close, Wufei thought as he tumbled them both onto the bed, pinning the little blond beneath him.
"I think I need more training," Wufei said, yawning. "This dancing is harder than I remembered from my lessons."
Quatre gave a little imperious wriggle and a tentative squeeze of internal muscles. "Hmm... I'll have to work on getting other things harder as well. " He grinned impishly then sobered again. "Wufei... don't ... you don't doubt Trowa's love do you? Just because he masked it well..." Quatre looked worried on this front.
Wufei looked up and there was no sign of doubt in his eyes. "No," he said, his voice giving the same certainty. "No ... once he told me... I felt it, the truth ... through to my soul." He absently wiped his eyes as if unconscious of the leakage.
Quatre leaned forward and caught one little escapee tear with his lips, tasting the warm salt against his mouth and nuzzling away the little trace of pain from his lover's face. He leaned back then, once again gather Wufei into his arms and along his side.
"Good. I know that I ask for a lot sometimes ... but don't doubt that he loves you ... or that I love you. I know ... your personal code is a strict task master Wufei Chang and I do not ask you to walk the path other then that which your code calls for.. even when my heart breaks for the pain it delivers unto you. But always know that my heart and my arms are open to you, all of you no matter the light or the dark, I don't fear you beloved dragon."
Wufei pulled Quatre close and kissed him, lips, cheeks, eyelids, forehead. Holding him tightly, the dragon simply whispered, "Nor I you, though you blind me at times. Whatever doubts I have of myself, they don't extend to you, beloved."
Quatre looked down and studied Wufei's eyes for a long long while. Loosing himself in their onyx depth at one point. Then he nodded and leaned back, reaching to flick the covers back over them both and wrapping his arms tightly around Wufei, guiding the Chinese boy's head to his chest and the soothing beat of his young heart. His fingers danced through Wufei's hair and he kissed the top of his head whispering very quietly.
"Rest now... I'm here and I've got you."
Wufei settled, twining his fingers in Quatre's. "Mmmm ... that's supposed to be my line," he murmured as his eyes closed.
Quatre chuckled softly, "You can have it back later, for now.. it's my turn."
End Part 3
Laekin
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