14-Oct-2000
Category: Action, Adventure, Romance, Friendship
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4x5 (Or combinations there of.)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made or sought off of this.
NOTES: Okay. I believe that someone asked the list a couple of weeks for 3x4 angst. Well, this section of CP, if I can have an option on my own work, is going to fall into that category. So, I'm warning you all now, serious Emotional Angst in this part!!
As always, Bonne (bonnejeanne@yahoo.com) is the wonderful puppeteer for Wufei baby and I'm responsible for Trowa and Quatre.
Trowa pulled the door to the bedroom half way closed, just enough to buffer Wufei from what was coming. Quatre paced over to the window that was becoming his habitual spot. He could feel the waves of unease coming off his lover and the emotions made him jittery.
Trowa followed Quatre to the window but stopped just short of it. He licked his lips, opened his mouth and closed it. Quatre was staring out the window, watching Trowa out of the corner of his eye. The more Trowa shifted nervously, the harder it was for the little blond to look at his green eyed lover.
The two stood there, silent for a long time, winding each other up in the silence and finally Quatre turned.
"Trowa..."
"I..." Trowa began and then sighed deeply and then it was his turn to turn away, pacing towards the piano.
Bewildered and suddenly a little frightened, Quatre turned to follow his lover with his eyes. His chest felt tight and he could feel tension growing along his jaw.
"Trowa." Quatre asked in a beseeching tone.
Trowa flinched as if physically struck. Stopping in his tracks, he drove his hands into his pockets, looking at the carpet, his face a set mask.
"I... oh gods Quatre. I did something..." Trowa paused.
Feeling a flare of panic Quatre took a step forward, his eyes darting towards the bedroom where Wufei was meditating.
"Wufei?"
"No!... Yes." Trowa stuttered over the two words and took a step back from Quatre.
Quatre slammed on the breaks. In all their time together, as comrades and lovers, Trowa had never physically withdrawn from him.
"Trowa?" Quatre whispered softly.
Trowa's eyes lifted, haunted, hearing the pain in the little one's voice and his own chest constricted. His green eyes darkened with suppressed emotion.
"I... I was in love with Wufei for months ... before that mission."
Quatre's pale brows drew together, puzzled. "Mission?"
"The Mission Quatre! That damnable mission when I sent you the letter!" Pain sharpened Trowa's words.
Quatre continued to stand there, looking confused, then realization of what Trowa was telling him dawned on the Arabian's face and it was his turn to take a step back.
"I..." Quatre began, then words fled him and he stopped, staring at the piano bench.
"I don't know how it happened Quatre. I didn't look for it to happen. It just..." Trowa stopped and drove his hand through his hair. "I... *look* past the masks Quatre. All those masks Wufei was wearing around us... I kept seeing past them and I could see the pain and I could see even further. " Once he started talking Trowa found it hard to stop. "Everything that we love about him... I saw it and I fell in love with it."
Quatre fell back another pace. He still felt as if someone very heavy was standing on his chest. Trowa was watching his smaller lover closely and he took a step following him, only to stop as Quatre purposefully drew back.
Trowa felt tears, he could never shed, come up and choke his throat. Why, oh why did tears choke off one's ability to breath? To speak? Trowa swallowed, hard his breathing accelerated making his voice breathy and soft.
"I didn't mean too Quatre. I fought it. I was in love with you, I love *you*" Though no tears fell, the last word was a sob. "I... I didn't know what to do. I wanted to talk to you, so many times but it never seemed right and I was afraid. I was afraid you'd walk away so I could be with Wufei and I would have died before I lost you."
Quatre went to step back once again but the picture window was cold against his back. Unable to retreat further, the little blond held up a hand as if trying to stem or turn back Trowa's words.
Quatre's whispered, "shut-up" barely drifted across the room and made no impact on the wound up Trowa who continued.
"It became a living hell Quatre. Things were falling apart for Wufei and I could *see* it but I had no idea how to fix it or how to help him. Then, the mission came and it all blew up in our faces. I had to act, to save him... to save my self. I did the only thing I could think of and I ... God help me Quatre I used you. I knew how you would react, you can't stand to see any of us in pain. All I had to do... was put the thought in your head and I knew you would fix it. I knew... you would help him."
Taking a couple of quick breaths, Quatre tried again to say, "shut-up" but again Trowa couldn't hear him.
"Then everything fell together. I could hardly believe that it... it worked. Then I became even more afraid that it would fall back apart if I told you. I thought I could live without saying anything but in the end..."
Finally Quatre got enough breath into his lungs to bark out. "SHUT-UP!"
The words, jolted Trowa and he stopped speaking. Looking at his lover's posture, he stopped short. Trowa stood before Quatre, waiting for the words of recrimination to come from the little blond. He was ready for whatever Quatre would say to him. At least, that's what Trowa told himself. He would not feel ashamed of loving Wufei. He could never feel ashamed for what was in his heart. But he was ready to accept the burden of responsibility for not trusting the Arabian with the truth.
In the other room, Wufei heard Quatre yell and winced slightly. He wanted to go in, but pressed his lips together and stayed where he was.
Quatre took a couple of deep breaths and turned away from Trowa. His small hands, clenched into fists, drove into the pockets of his pants as he looked out across the landscape of the colony laid out before him. Trowa stood there, waiting for Quatre to say something.... anything but the little blonde was silent.
Neither boy moved for half an hour. Trowa kept waiting and waiting but Quatre only stared out the window. Finally, the little blond took a long slow breath, lifted his head and turned, looking over his shoulder towards the bedroom door.
His voice was calm, almost normal as he called out. "Wufei?"
The Chinese boy had been at a deep level of mediation. He heard his name and came up, breathing to oxygenate his body. Getting up, he answered the summons.
Trowa watched Quatre very closely, his powerful body tense and ready. As Wufei entered the room, Quatre rotated about, turning away from the window.
"You said, you had already taken action that was, less then legal. Has it yielded you any results? Anything concrete?"
Wufei shrugged. "Concrete enough to take to Sally? No. Enough to continuing pursuing? Yes. The Unity companies are hiding something that has to do with their weapons research. That's part of it. And they have been making money... instead of selling weapons to military organizations they've been selling them illegally to black marketeers, but that's not the big secret. There is still something we haven't been able to get to. Something important." Wufei summarized. "I have written reports, I just haven't given them to anyone."
Quatre listened closely to Wufei's words, then he nodded thoughtfully. Drawing his now relaxed hands out of his pockets he walked over and stood behind a chair.
"Don't... don't involve Sally just yet. I don't want her feeling like she has to do something.. or report this to someone. This probably explains why the L2 and the 4th are so heavily armed ... ready suppliers I'd imagine. Do we have anything that would link any company in Unity directly back to the druggers or dealers in the L2 colonies?"
"Directly? No. They're too careful. We'd need someone in the organization," Wufei said calmly, having thought this one over extensively. "The only proof we could get would be eyewitness, they don't make mistakes."
Quatre drummed his fingers for a moment, then he turned and looked back out of the window. "All right. Keep that thought in the back of your mind for now. There wouldn't be too much we could do with the information and it's too risky to attempt to cultivate it at the moment."
"Taking out the Unity companies - I mean effectively destroying them - would do a great deal towards solving the problems of L2," Wufei said with an ironic expression. "But there's more to it than that."
Quatre nodded without looking back. "If it were that easy... or I should say, that straight forward, we'd have a definite plan of attack. But the Unity companions provide a lot of economic stability..." Quatre paused, his words faltered and he went quiet for a long time. Then he picked back up, as if he'd never stopped speaking. "... to their different Le Grange points. We can't save the 2nd by destroying the security of the others."
Wufei shook his head, indicating a slight disagreement. "I have been looking at that angle as well. I don't think any of these companies is in quite the keystone position they appear to be. WEI, yes, because of your diversification. The Unity companies.... their funds are spread out but it's more on the books than anything. Yes, it might cause temporary hardship but destabilize the other colonies? I don't think so." He shrugged. I have a couple of sets of files for you to look at - all of those companies keep two sets of books."
The Arabian was still for a long time. Pondering what Wufei was telling him. If it could be made to be that easy... if only. He turned then and looked towards Wufei. "Do you have the files with you?"
Trowa sat quietly in a chair. He listened to the words, the information, making no move to interrupt. His green eyes followed both Wufei's face and, when he could see it, Quatre's.
Wufei simply nodded. "After what Heero told me, I was hoping to be able to share the information with you. I brought everything we have."
"Perfect. Could I see the files? Please?"
"Yes." Wufei said. Then. "Quatre?"
Pale brows lifted in a curious expression. "Yes?"
"Will one of you tell me what happened in here?" There was a flash of vulnerability in his voice, quickly controlled.
It was Trowa's soft voice that broke the silence. "I told him... everything. Now, he is trying to 'deal' with it by shutting it all inside because he can't decide if he's angry, hurt, or bewildered and because he feels like he can't afford to work through it vocally." There was a soft edge to Trowa's voice and his eyes locked onto the blonde's pale features.
Quatre's jaw worked as he met Trowa's eyes. He took a long slow breath and turned to look at Wufei. A little smile peeked out at the corners of his lips. "Trowa Barton, pop psychologist."
"Quatre..."
"No."
Trowa's teeth could be heard grinding together. Then Quatre looked back towards Wufei, some of the iron control slipping a bit.
"It's... all right. It's just a shock."
Wufei's shoulders drooped a little, then straightened. "I know," he said softly. "It was for me too. I..." he started to say something, then shook his head, swallowing the rest of it.
"We missed you," he said softly. "I want to hold you, both of you and know that it's all right."
Trowa felt his heart tear at the vulnerability and the pain he heard in Wufei's voice. He'd never wanted to hear that pain again. Standing, he crossed the room with graceful strides and wrapped his arms around Wufei, holding the young dragon against his chest tightly, letting Wufei feel how hard and fast his heart was racing.
He needed to hold his lovers. He was desperate to hold Quatre but Trowa couldn't bring himself to smash through the little blonde's barriers. He felt the same vulnerability that he heard in Wufei's voice and it seemed so long ago, that he'd been allowed to help soothe and comfort the wounded dragon. Needing physical contact, his hands moved tenderly in loving motions across Wufei's back.
Wufei kissed Trowa's cheek tenderly, then firmly untangled his arms. He took the tall boy's hand and drew him across the room towards the window and the person standing next to it. He kissed Trowa's palm and then placed it against Quatre's cheek.
Trowa's fingers trembled where they gently cradled Quatre's cheek. Then his knees bent and the tall boy gracefully sank down onto them. His arm slide down around Quatre's waist and he pressed his face into the small blonde's stomach. His other arm, wrapped around one of Wufei's legs.
Quatre looked down at the top of Trowa's auburn hair. He was still for what seemed like an eternity, then his hand lifted and he softly stroked his fingers through Trowa's hair. His hand slid down and wrapped comfortingly around the tall boy's temple as he held Trowa against him.
Wufei kissed Quatre's lips tenderly, fully, holding back some of his hunger but letting it show. "This is what I am fighting for," he whispered softly.
Quatre's lips trembled beneath Wufei's. He was suddenly, desperately uncertain and insecure.. perhaps for the first time in his young life but he followed his instincts which screamed at him, not to let pride get in between that which was most important to him. He kissed Wufei back, shyly but with a serious level of commitment, even as he held Trowa tighter against himself.
Wufei trailed kisses from Quatre's soft lips, to his cheek, then to his ear and down to his neck. He felt the little tremble and breathed softly. "Please... the bed... all of us...?"
Quatre shivered beneath the soft touches of warm lips to his skin. He'd almost forgotten how much he'd missed both of them. Nodding, he swallowed getting liquid across his dry mouth. Reaching up, he touched Wufei's face, lovingly, smiling ... very softly at him as he whispered. "Don't beg"
Then he leaned in and caught his dark eyed lover's mouth in a searing kiss, even as he stroked Trowa under the chin, drawing the green eyed boy to his feet. Trowa's arm closed tightly around Wufei's waist as he turned his lips to softly kiss the Chinese boy's temple before helping all three of them towards the bedroom.
End Part 20
Laekin
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