14-Oct-2000
Category: Who said school couldn't be fun?
Pairing: None really just the subtext we see in the series.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made or sought
NOTES: All right, this one has been swimming around in my head since the first time I saw that wonderful cannon picture of the five boys at school. The one where Duo is about to tickle Heero with a pencil and Trowa is waiting to see Heero beat the hell out of Duo, Quatre looks like he's asking Trowa a question and Wufei just looks asleep. I was going to do it in one short fic, describing what was going on with that scene, in my opinion, but the past couple of weeks have just been so... insane, I felt the need to share the warped humor. I hope everyone enjoys. This isn't in either the CoF Universe of the CCM/SM Universe.
The inoffensive little alarm clock went off at exactly 6:15 in the morning. It twirped as a hard hand smacked it. A few minutes passed and the inoffensive little alarm clock obediently sounded it's wake up message once again. Once again it gave a little twirp as it got unceremoniously smacked.
9 minutes passed.
The inoffensive little alarm clock went off once more. Before Duo Maxwell could get his hand free of his pillow to smack it yet one more time, two shoes, a text book and a metal thermos came crashing across to his side of the room, pelting the alarm clock, which continued to chirp happily and continuing on to bean the braided boy in the head and shoulders.
A chorus of four, sleepy, irate voices, growled.
"Hit that..."
"Alarm one more..."
"Time Maxwell..."
"And I'm going to kill you."
Duo flipped off his four annoyed dormmates and rolled over. "Someone wake me when the shower is free."
Heero pushed himself up on his elbow and crawled out of bed, grabbing his shower kit the Perfect Soldier headed for the small bathroom that sat off to the side of the five person dorm room he was sharing with his fellow Gundam Pilots.
Wufei stretched his arms up over his head and after an oxygen generating stretch, jumped out of the top bunk, nearly landing on Quatre who was just sitting up and knuckling his eyes tiredly.
"Oof!" The little Arabian exclaimed and Wufei's thigh banged him in the nose.
The Chinese pilot looked at his comrade and quirked a half smile. "My apologies."
Quatre rubbed at his nose, blinking blearily at Wufei. "Nobah pwabwem."
Wufei nodded and retreated to a corner of their small room to begin his morning exercises.
"One, two, three, four... One, two, three, four... One, two, three, four..."
"Hey! I'm trying to sleep here!" Duo sat up, strands of his long chestnut hair having escaped from his braid and stuck to his face.
"Maxwell... anyone ever tell you, you look like a girl first thing in the morning?" Wufei asked as he continued his workout.
Unable to think coherently this early in the morning Duo couldn't come up with a suitable comeback. Settling instead for, "Noooo."
"He's right Duo, you do look like a girl." Quatre chimed in, trying to get his eyes to focus clearly enough to let him get to his feet.
In the bunk just above Duo, Trowa leaned over and nodded upside down at the American.
Feeling cranky, Duo reached up quickly and grabbed Trowa's forelock of auburn hair, yanking hard enough to upset Trowa's delicate balance and pulling the green eyed pilot right over the edge of bunk. With cat like reflexes, Trowa flipped in midair and landed gracefully on his feet, shower bag in hand so that when Heero stepped out of the bathroom he was ready for the tag.
Duo snarled. "Showoff."
Trowa just gave Duo a superior look and disappeared into the shower. Heero ignored the tongue Duo stuck out at his back and walked over to his side of the room. He was the only one who didn't share a bunk bed. Unconcerned with his nakedness, Heero yanked off his towel and began to get dressed.
"Quatre, you finish the economics homework last night."
Caught in mid yawn, the little blond could only nod.
"Wufei?"
"I got the 5,000 word essays done for history class."
"Duo?"
"Wha?"
Heero turned and looked at the American. "You were going to do the physics homework."
"Well, see... I was doing it in Deathscythe while we were waiting for that company of Oz Leos and I only got about half of it done."
Wufei, Quatre and Heero turned identical glares on the American who shrugged unconcerned. "What? How was I supposed to know they were going to be *on time*. They've been late the past 7 times we've kicked their asses."
Wufei just rolled his eyes and continued with his katas. Heero turned back to the business of finding clean socks. Quatre sighed.
"Well... we're passing four classes at least. That's better then last semester."
"Hey!" Duo yelped indignant. "It was your bright idea to have me do the homework for both English and History last semester."
"Duo! You cited Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet as a source on a history paper."
"I was trying to consolidate homework."
"Romeo and Juliet is fiction!"
"Technicality." Duo waved it off.
"Shut up both of you." Heero said in a calm voice. "I'll finish the physics homework. Duo, where's your note book."
"Um..." Duo started to dig around the side of his bed which was, to be kind, a salvage operation in and off itself. "Hmm... I had it here... oh... wait, that's my English notebook... I saw it... I know I saw it... I." Duo sat up then grimaced. "I left it in Deathscythe."
Wufei stopped in mid kata just to glare at Duo. Heero stuck his tongue in the corner of his mouth.
"Forget it. I'll hack the school computers at the end of the semester and fix the grades."
"Heero, that's not very leg..." Quatre paused in mid-sentance as Heero shot him the look of death. "... fine with me. " Quatre squeaked, then he grabbed his shower bag and dashed into the bathroom, regardless of the fact, or maybe because of the fact, that Trowa was still in there.
Despite grumblings from Duo that his braid was still wet the five boys made it out of their dorm room almost on time to get some breakfast. Walking along the halls, dodging other sleepy students, Trowa took a good look at Wufei.
"Wufei... why are you wearing a bright orange Hawaiian shirt?"
"Because Professor Mcgilly won't let me in the class room in just a tank top." The Chinese boy grumbled.
"But..."
"It's Maxwell's. I didn't have anything clean."
"Oh."
"I have a better question Barton. Why is Quatre wearing a pair of your jeans?"
Trowa blinked and looked at Quatre, who was in fact in a pair of Trowa's white jeans, cuffs rolled up over the top of his brown loafers.
"Quatre?" The green eyed boy asked curiously.
"Um... they went better with this shirt." Quatre picked at the medium blue T-shirt with black horizontal stripes he was wearing. "I wanted to be kinda casual and khakis looked stupid."
"Uh huh... you forgot to do laundry again didn't you?"
The little blond blushed and hitched his backpack on his shoulder. "Well..."
"Come on Quatre, you can admit it. After all, you're also wearing Heero's shirt over that T-shirt."
Quatre looked at the pale oxford he had just thrown on, unbuttoned over the shirt and eeped softly.
Heero cast a sideways glance at Quatre and shrugged. "Don't sweat it. I'm wearing one of Trowa's shirts."
Trowa peered at Heero then shrugged. "Thought that shirt looked familiar."
"Your sister is the only girl I know who gives her brother plaid flannel for his birthday." Wufei commented thoughtfully.
Trowa shrugged again. "Like I have time to go clothes shopping. She says she doesn't want me to catch a cold."
"Ah."
Silence settled for a moment, then Quatre thoughtfully posed the question. "Are any of us wearing our own clothes?"
Walking behind his comrades, trying to balance a government text book in one hand and a notebook in the other, Duo answered without looking up.
"I'm wearing my own underwear. I think."
Wufei rolled his eyes and took a step away from Duo, Quatre cleared his throat, blushing and looked on ahead. Trowa became fascinated with a buckle on the back of Quatre's back pack. Surprisingly it was Heero who, after a beat, said in a conversational tone.
"You wear underwear?"
"Huh? Oh yeah. After that whole zipper incident a few months back?"
Trowa, Quatre and Wufei cringed and walked a little faster. Heero gave a thoughtful lift of his brows and continued along at the same purposeful pace towards the cafeteria.
"What... is this?" Wufei asked, poking warily at the bowl in front of him.
"Grits." Trowa answered in between forkfuls.
"Gritty is one word for it." The Chinese boy said dubiously.
"No. It's called grits." Quatre supplied, though he wasn't making any fast movements towards the substance himself.
"Hn." Wufei pushed the bowl aside and decided the toast and fruit would suffice.
Duo was holding up a sausage link and studying it. He studied it long ways. He studied it head on. He studied it from the side. He grabbed it by the end and waggled it experimentally. Eventually his actions drew the attention of three of his comrades in arms who paused in their feeding to watch him.
Without looking up from where he was decimating his eggs, Heero speared the sausage out of Duo's hand and flung it across the room. There came the sound of the sausage going <SPLUCK> as it landed in some female student's orange juice. The girl, who was busy yammering to a friend, picked up the glass without looking at it and took a gulp. A gulp that she quickly spewed across the table, all across the front of her girlfriend's white silk blouse, causing a riot of squeals and screams.
Quatre ducked his head, hiding beneath the cover of his hand. Trowa just bent so his bang was facing the rest of the world. Wufei got up and went to get more fruit. Heero continued to eat his eggs while Duo yelled over.
"Hey... can I have my sausage back?"
End Part 1
Laekin
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