19-Apr-2003
Disclaimers apply. The lyrics and music of "Into the Dark" are property of The Juliana Theory. In case you don't understand the lyrics "dad" is God and "mom" is the Virgin Mary.
I breathed in deeply, letting the fresh scent of the forest fill up my lungs and flush back out in a rush. The air was thick and cool, a faint fog threading in and out of the branches. Shards of light broke through the canopy, painting patches of fog with orange and pink highlights. Dusk was quickly creeping over the hills, and I was anxious to escape from under the tree line to watch nature's movie unfold. As the forest started thinning out, and the air seemed to become crisper, I saw the threshold of a clearing not far in the distance. Smiling, I picked up my pace to a light jog, until my excitement took hold of me and before I knew it my feet took flight. The trees passed on my sides like blurs, my eyes watching as the clearing came closer and closer. Before I knew it, I broke free from the woods and gasped at what lay before me.
[dad, your boy's about to fall
he walks a razor's edge]
It wasn't a clearing at all, but a jagged cliff cut into the side of the landscape. I shrugged off my heavy backpack, leaving it to rest in the soft grass behind me, and wandered over to the edge. Looking down below, I could see that the cliff overlooked a quaint town nestled in between rolling hills and fields of livestock. Little houses were littered about the countryside on the outskirts of the village. The town looked ancient, yet still so alluring with its antique charm.
I plopped down on ground, swinging my legs over the edge to dangle. I leaned back, resting against my elbows. It was my habit to watch the sunset every night. You could call it a ritual. I've seen the sun set in the east and the west. I've see the sunset from the beaches of Australia, to the iron jungles of Tokyo, to the steamy lands of Brazil. But I had to admit, that so far these lands possessed the most beautiful sunsets of all.
I'm not quite sure how I ended up in Ireland. Then again, I'm not too sure how I ended up in any of the places I've trekked through during the past six years. About a month ago I had been wandering through the city of Liverpool, England. I ventured down to the docks where I had happened to stumble across an ad for a boat ferrying travelers from the Liverpool port to the Dublin port. On a whim, I bought a ticket and boarded the boat the very next day. It was something I just... felt was calling me.
[he's on the brink of fading out
he's at his bitter end]
From Dublin I walked from town to town, catching rest in the local bed and breakfasts. I discovered the entire expanse of Ireland's scenery simply breathtaking. The air smelled clean and energizing, almost as if medicinal. The people were amiable and warm-hearted. And even through the madness of modernization pressuring down upon most places I'd visited, most of Ireland had managed to maintain its homely, country appeal. Everything was so welcoming. And best of all... were the sunsets.
I sighed, lips turning up at the corners. The sun was tinting the fields yellow ochre, and the town below was bathed in an ethereal, almost mystical, shadow of violets and reds. It was times like this that my soul actually felt some sort of tranquility within itself. Though fleeting, nothing could ever take away those few precious moments of harmony that I craved.
The coming night air danced across my face and through my hair. I zipped up my jacket, shoving my hands into the pockets, an action that had become habitual over time. Inside, my hand encountered my most prized possession hidden away. I palmed it, pulling it for examination. It smiled up at me, and I smiled back, running my fingertips along the curves and bumps I had come to memorize these past six years.
"I'll find you," I murmured, looking down into the eyes of my wooden carving of Christ[1].
Sometimes I wished he'd talk back.
[dad, your boy who used to run
you taught him how to crawl]
I stowed it away back into my pocket, rising from the ground at the exact moment the last shard of crimson disappeared beyond the horizon. I made a mock motion of tipping my imaginary hat to the sunset in thanks, re-shouldered my bag, and began to make my way back through the forest.
I wanted to check out that village.
[he left home to find his own
now all he had is gone]
I entered the town through a dirt path, which I assumed was the townspeople's version of a road. Upon closer inspection, the village looked even more ancient than I had at first thought. The houses were mostly cobblestone of some sort, and there were even wooden benches where people could tie their horses to rest. I was thankful that the lamp posts weren't mere torches, and they had at least upgraded to some antique design of metal. I smirked to myself.
I made my way into the town, taking in my surroundings with wide, amazed eyes. I heard a sudden crash in the building to my right. Even though I knew better, my curiosity caught me, and I crept closer to the old wooden door. Suddenly, it burst open and I had very little time to think before a heavy object was hurled in my direction.
"Shit!" I ducked to the ground, barely avoiding a flying chair as it crashed into the street.
I stood, turning to stare at its pieces scattered about the ground when a force from behind knocked into me. With a less than graceful cry, I fell face forward onto the ground.
"Hey," I said irritated, spitting some dirt out of my mouth and rising to my hands and knees. A pair of legs came to stand beside me.
"Oh, Christ, I'm sorry me lad!"
I stared at the hand that was thrust down in front of my face, willing my vision to burn a hole through it.
"Cannae help you up then?" I took the hand, easily being jerked upright by its strength. I found myself staring into the brightest pair of green eyes I had ever seen in my life.
"Sorry about that," the man said, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. "I dinnae mean to tackle ye." I gaped dumbly for a moment, trying my best to decipher through his heavy accent. It was one of the strongest dialects I had encountered since my arrival in Ireland.
"Eh," I wiped at my dirt stained chin with the back of my hand, "it's alright."
He smiled brightly at me, his teeth flashing white even in the dim lighting of dusk. I took in his appearance quickly. His hair was a dark brown, wavy and falling over his forehead to somewhat obscure the jade of his eyes. His clothing was faded and simple, and from the texture and make I could only guess he was a farmer of some sort. His frame was thin with the muscle of a person who was no stranger to hard work. He didn't look much older than me, and I absently frowned as I realized he had called me "lad."
He raised his eyebrows, tapping me on the shoulder where my backpack strap was. "I dinnae break anything in there, did I?"
My smile returned, somewhat humored at how easily he made to touch me. It was like I wasn't a stranger at all. I shrugged at him, "If you did, there wouldn't be anything of importance in there anyway."
He frowned at me, hand coming up to absently scratch at his temple. "I still feel rather bad about it. Ah! Where are me manners!?" His bright smile returned, and for a second time since the short period I had encountered him he thrust his hand out towards me.
"Gabriel O'Hara[2]." I stared down at his proffered hand.
[in your eyes I see a darkness that torments you
and in your head where it dwells
I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it
let's walk away from this Hell]
"Duo Maxwell." We shook hands heartily.
I heard more commotion coming from within the building that almost decked me with a chair, and I dropped his hand, turning my head towards the sound.
"What is that place?" I said pointing my thumb over my shoulder in the direction of the overly loud ruckus.
"Ah, 'tis the local pub. Mr. Thornton and Mr. Danaher are at it again. I was trying to break it up when I got knocked out the door for me troubles!" He chuckled light heartedly.
I resisted the urge to laugh at him. For some reason I found Gabriel's innocent frame of mind amusing.
"Say, lemme buy you a drink. It's the least I can do for tumblin' ye down in such an awful manner." He smiled warmly at me.
I shrugged, lightly laughing to myself. "Why the hell not?"
"Indeed!" Gabriel clasped his arm around my shoulders, leading me back towards the pub.
"Tell me, Duo, have ye ever had an Irish beer?"
Gabriel came back to the table carrying two large mugs of beer. Froth was tumbling over the rims, running over his fingers and pattering to the hardwood floor. He sat them down on the old wooden table with a heavy thud, wiping the access beer off his hands and onto his pant legs.
"Thanks," I said smiling up at him. He grinned back, plopping down into the chair across the table.
"So, Duo, what brings ye to Ireland?" He took a swig from his mug. I fingered the handle on my mug, staring into the brownish liquid looking for an answer to float up to the top of the foam.
"Fate." I spoke through a sad smile.
Surprisingly enough, he laughed warmly at me. "Mebbe I should start with an easier one, eh? Where are ye from, Maxwell?"
I snickered at him, rocking my chair back on its back legs and propping my legs up on the table with a rattle of the glasses.
"I thought you said easier?" I said crossing my arms over my chest.
He raised his eyebrow, smiling at me. "Then how about where are ye going?" He mocked me by crossing his arms as well.
I waved my hand in a round about manner, "You're zero for three, my friend." I chortled lightly.
"Aye. We have a word 'round here for people like you, Duo." He reached for his glass.
"Vagabonds?" I said watching him bring the mug to his lips.
"Lost," his eyes glittered at me from over the rim of his glass.
[mom, your baby's on his way
he'll soon be at your side]
Three beers later it was getting dark, and I still hadn't even begun to think to look for accommodations. I waited patiently at the doorway as Gabriel exchanged friendly words with the barkeep. They laughed and joked as if they were best friends. Somehow I imagined everyone in this town was best friends. Gabriel began to pay the man for our beverages, and I stepped outside for some fresh air.
The night air in Ireland was always brisk and refreshing. A gust of strong air ran through the streets, and I heard a creaking noise above my head. Taking a few steps out of the doorway, I looked up to a small hanging sign above the bar doorway. It read "Innisfree Pub." It was funny that I hadn't noticed the sign earlier when I was in the street with Gabriel, but I suppose I was too amused by his congeniality. I jammed my hands inside my coat pockets.
My eyes snapped back to the doorway as Gabriel walked through, waving back to some patron inside. He came to stand beside me, and I tilted my head in the air, motioning towards the sign wavering in the wind.
"What's Innisfree[3]?"
"It be the town you're standing in, Duo."
I blinked. I guess I hadn't even thought to ask Gabriel the name of the village while we were conversing over our drinks. I shrugged, feeling a little ignorant of myself.
Gabriel turned, starting to walk down the path further into the city. I guessed I was supposed to follow and treaded lightly behind his footfall.
I adjusted the pack on my back, aiming for a more comfortable position. "Are there any inns around here?" I asked, noticing that most of buildings had windows with shudders and no glass paneling as we passed.
"Aye, there be."
"Good," I smiled at his back.
He raised his finger in the air, "But they be closed by this time o' the night."
My smile crumbled. I sighed in frustration. Looks like it would be the sleeping bag for me tonight.
Gabriel stopped in his tracks, almost causing me to bump into his back. He turned to me, smiling. "Ye can always stay at my place for the night."
The offer of a warm house sounded nice, and I really didn't want to spend another night sleeping on the ground. But this man was a stranger to me. Furthermore, I didn't want him feeling sorry for me or having to deal with the fact that I would be in his debt.
"Nah," I shook my head, "I couldn't impose."
"Ah! It's no trouble at all, I assure ye. Besides, I owe ye one for the incident earlier." He ran his hand through rumpled locks of hair.
I smiled at him, "You already paid me back with the drinks."
He winked at me, "Then we'll just say I owe ye two instead."
He turned to start walking again, whistling a bouncy tune as he went. I smiled to myself, tossing my head to the side lightly. Gabriel definitely was a unique young man, there was no denying it[4].
We strolled through the town, making our way towards the outskirts where all the little farmhouses stood. Every once in a while a townsperson would pass us by, a few on horses. I couldn't help but gawk; never in my life had I seen a real live horse. By the time Gabriel had made greetings with the fifth passerby, he noticed my look of awe as the powerful beast strode past us. I cocked my head over my shoulder, watching its tail swish as it clomped into the distance.
"Never see a horse before, Duo?" I turned to see Gabriel watching me with laughing eyes.
"I've seen a lot of things in my life, but never a horse. I didn't realize people still rode them."
Gabriel patted me on the back, motioning for me to start walking again.
"Innisfree is a special town, Duo. You're bound to see things that have long since been dead to most people. It's a very..." he hesitated, lifting his head towards the night sky, "eye opening experience."
['cause he's forgotten all he's known
a part of him is dying]
We arrived at Gabriel's home, or should I say farm, after about thirty minutes of walking down dirt roads. It was directly on the outskirts of town and over a few hills. As we came upon it, I noticed many outstretched fields covering the land around us. Some were planted with an unknown crop, and others were homing livestock that, through the darkness, appeared to mostly be sheep. The fences were all hand built from scratch, made out of long, unevenly cut logs. I wondered if that type of confinement could actually keep the animals penned in, but I then supposed with such huge fields to graze in, they probably didn't have too many notions of escape.
As we neared closer, a dog began to bark in the distance. I watched as Gabriel brought two fingers up to his mouth and let out a shrill whistle. Like a bolt of white lightning, a dog came running up from the fields in our direction. As he made his way across the land barking with excitement, the sheep began to part and scuttle out of his way. My eyes widened visually as he jumped the fence, clearing it as if a minor obstacle between him and his master. Even more strange was that when the dog finally reached Gabriel, he immediately became hushed, kneeling at the feet of his master. Gabriel patted him lightly on the head.
"His name is Orion... like the constellation," he added helpfully.
"He's very well trained," I walked closer, making to squat in front of the dog.
"Aye. Every good sheep herding dog is."
He was mostly white, with long hair on his belly and hind legs. Spots of black were splattered on his fur, mostly around his face and muzzle, and his eyes sparkled a strange mixture of brownish blue. I scratched him under his chin lightly, laughing as his left leg began to twitch. I rose, wiping the dog hair off on my pants. We resumed walking up the path to the house with Orion trotting at out heels.
"Is all this yours?"
Gabriel rubbed at his chin, "Aye, it is."
"Do you have any..." I paused, struggling for the right word, "farmhands?"
"Just me and ol' Orion."
I was impressed, and somewhat surprised. "How does one person manage to keep up with a farm this huge?" I emphasized my point with a spread of my arms.
He laughed at me, "Tisn't as hard as ye would think if ya been doing it for all your years."
"What about your family?" My mouth spoke before my mind could stop it. I cursed silently in my head; it wasn't my place to pry into his personal life.
"Me parents be dead. Dinnae have any other kin when they died."
I smiled sadly. I could relate.
"Must be tough being all alone." I kicked at a rock in my path.
He snorted derisively at me, "M' not alone, Duo." He looked back up to the sky, smiling softly as he walked. My gaze followed his, curious as to what he repeatedly kept staring at up there. My forehead creased with frustration.
All I saw were stars.
[mom may never understand
why baby's come and gone]
"The couch is fine." I re-emphasized my point for the umpteenth time. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look decisive. Gabriel sighed, finally conceding.
"Don't you be expecting me to give ye sympathy when you don't have use of your neck in the morn'." He waggled his finger at me like a mother scolding her son.
I rolled my eyes, stealing the covers from his arms to construct my makeshift bed.
"I'll go warm us some dinner," he said making his way towards the kitchen.
I dumped the blankets down on the couch, stopping to take in my surroundings. The inside of his house wasn't as archaic as I would have thought it to be. There was a fairly new TV in front of the couch, though I spotted a radio that might need carbon dating. One wall was outfitted by a gigantic bookshelf and scenic paintings of the countryside.
I walked over to the wooden bookshelf, running my fingers along the books' spines. I tilted my head to the side, getting a closer look at the words written on one of the books. My fingers leisurely raked across the leather cover, feeling the indentions of the calligraphy. In bright, golden letters read "The Holy Bible."
[he left home to find his own
now all he has are lies]
I smiled. I hadn't seen a Bible since my youth, when I was still living under the church roof. I took the book down, opening it up to thumb through the pages. I noticed that some pages had certain passages highlighted in yellow marker. And then my eyes caught a page with bright pink highlighter. I turned back to it, reading over the marked passage- Luke 1:26.
My hands began to quiver[5].
"Duo?"
I jumped, shutting the book with a heavy thud and clutching it to my chest. Gabriel was standing in the kitchen doorway.
"Yea?" I answered, managing to keep the surprise out of my voice.
"Would ye like milk or tea?"
"Milk." I said with an uneasy smile.
He merely raised his eyebrow, questioning my look of dismay, and disappeared back into the kitchen.
With shaky hands, I reshelf the book.
"Get a hold of yourself, Maxwell," I muttered below my breath. "Why are you so jumpy?" I took a deep breath, running my hands up and down my arms, and turned away from the bookcase to take in other aspects of the living room.
I watched as Gabriel shoveled leftovers into Orion's bowl. He whistled fiercely, the dog instantly appearing from the shadows of the fields to answer his call. "Eat up, boy," Gabriel said as he ran his hand across the dog's back.
"Duo?" He said, not looking up from petting the hungry dog.
"Yea?" I zipped up my coat to keep out the night air.
"What are ye looking for?"
My eyebrows raised. "What... what do you mean?" I tried to look at his face, but his hunched over position and the lighting outside merely gave me a slight view of his nose.
"Innisfree doesn't get many visitors, especially not foreigners. Which leads me to believe ye be looking for something."
I stuffed my hands into my pockets, clasping my wooden Jesus tightly. It was a bad habit I developed out of nervousness.
"Does that mean I have to be looking for something?"
He rose quickly, dusting his hands off and taking a few steps away from the porch. I watched his back, wishing that I could see his face when he spoke.
"Everyone's looking for something, Duo." His head tilted back towards the stars.
I took the wooden Jesus from my pocket, straining to see it through the darkness. My eyebrows creased in concentration.
"And you? What are you looking for, Gabriel?"
He cocked his chin over his shoulder, finally looking at me. I blinked as I thought I saw a pale light momentarily illuminate from within his eyes.
"Maybe," he said quietly, "I was looking for you, Duo."
[in your eyes I see a darkness that torments you
and in your head where it dwells
I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it
let's walk away from this Hell]
End Part One
NOTES:
1. See? There was more symbolism behind the title being Wooden Jesus
than just the mere fact that the song is about a man on a religious search.
In fact, it will have even more to do with the story later...
2. *wiggles her eyebrow suggestively* Hmm, interesting name, eh?
3. I suppose most of you are far too young to have ever seen director
John Ford's classic "The Quiet Man" staring John Wayne? Well, I'm not too
old either, but I guess I'm old at heart. Innisfree is a real village in
Ireland where the movie takes place. I totally recommend watching it
sometime. Don't worry, just because it stars John Wayne does not make it a
gun slinging Western. Sean Thornton, Wayne's character, gets accused of
playing "pattyfingers" in the Holy Water. *giggles*
4. Do not get the wrong idea here. Duo is not falling for Gabriel and
vice versa. It's more like Duo is meeting a man that acts like he used to
before he started his journey six years ago- very open, kind, and humorous.
It's like looking into an old mirror, and it intrigues Duo.
5. Sorry, I can't tell you just yet what Duo read without giving away
the story. But if you're really that curious to find out what shook him up
so bad, you can look up the passage yourself. I don't recommend it though,
because it might ruin some of the surprises for you. If you just wait
patiently for other chapters, I promise I'm going to give a follow up page
with all the information you need to know.
Kirei
Please send comments to: kirei_tenshi@hotmail.com