26-Dec-2000
Ohayo! Just remember to jump out if you aren't of 'legal' age. Otherwise, have fun! (hentai)
Heero: and what'd you think you are Kat?
Kat: Heeeey! This is all in the name of art... ::blushes:: really!
For Relic Yuy (Merry Christmas! From one Q/H fan to another)
Pairing: 4x1
Category: Lemon/Yaoi/OOC/AU
Setting: End of the TV series.
Soft.
He tightened his grip around the smooth bare skin, feeling the body shift slightly beneath him as he trailed his lips over the exposed neck, the dark tendrils of hair tickling his cheeks as he burrowed deeper into the hot tightness, forcing the other to finally open his eyes.
Their eyes locked and he breathed a sigh, as pale arms closed around his head and slender fingers tangled and twisted the pale golden strands, and felt the world disappear as his body arched and thrust, lost in the throes of mindless passion. For that instance, he could blot out everything else; the war, his father, his responsibilities, everything except the hot sweet body he plundered and the glimmering eyes that burned into his soul. He shuddered, gasping involuntarily as he climaxed and the two slowly came to a stop, their sticky warm flesh still pressed tightly against each other.
Quatre blinked, his breath still ragged from the exertion and the remnant of lust, as Heero turned away from him, his eyes closing once again and tucking the sheet around his nude body, as he arranged himself in the corner of the bed, carefully avoiding the wet spot they had left, a silent dismissal. Quatre hesitated for a minute longer then habit took over and he shifted off the bed and silently gathered his clothes together, his movements deft and sure from long practice as he completed dressing in the dark. Then he walked noiselessly to the door and. stopped for a minute, staring at the doorknob, hearing the gentle rustling behind him as Heero shifted his position, feeling those eyes burning into his back and wondered. what would happen if he stayed this time? If he turned around and told him. And... the moment passed, and Quatre resolutely turned the handle and walked out of Heero's room... again.
'Have you told him yet?' Duo asked inquisitively, a look of sympathy casting the cheerful features into a more solemn expression. He frowned impatiently as Quatre flushed faintly and ducked his head, avoiding the question. 'So you haven't told him.'
Quatre shrugged helplessly, he was beginning to wish that he had never confided his feelings for Heero to the outgoing pilot of Shinigami. 'I don't know what to say. Or what he'd say.' He blurted out at last, finally putting his worst fear into words. 'What if he tells me that he doesn't love me, that he could never love me... that he...' Quatre paled as he completed the sentence in his head, "that he hates me for touching him."
Duo shook his head disapprovingly as he looked at the despondent blond twisting his hands, his normally clear and innocent looking eyes clouded over with fear and... guilt? 'You are never going to find out unless you face him and tell him.' He rolled his eyes as he wondered which god's sick sense of humour was responsible for putting him in the position of comforting one friend while trying to advise him on how he could successfully chase after another. Duo had to admit that apart from the fact that they were both guys, and even he, open-minded guy that he was, had a little trouble at first with that concept when Quatre had first approached him, there were a number of obstacles that stood in the way of the would be lovers, starting with one particular stumbling block. He still had no idea exactly how Heero felt about her, but he was pretty sure that he wasn't totally indifferent to the beautiful blond Arab.
Quatre wondered whether he should tell Duo about the physical side of his relationship with Heero, then changed his mind, as he remembered the blank look of shock on the American pilot's face when he first told him that he was in love with Heero. He had a feeling that if Duo found out about his secret visits to Heero's room, that this time, he was going to be speechless for considerably more than just a few minutes.
'I still don't see why you don't just tell him that you love him.' Duo grumbled, half to himself, half aloud, as he stirred the cooling cup of tea. He was beginning to suspect that he was in for endless sessions of tea and sympathy unless he did something to kick this love story into high gear.
'Are you in love with him?'
Heero paused, his hands trembling slightly as he thought about the question carefully then he pushed his head out of the hatch so that he could talk to Trowa face to face.
'I don't know. I'm not sure I understand what being in love means.' He answered at last, his voice dropping softly as he looked away into the distance.
Trowa smiled gently, the green eyes warming tenderly as they rested on the dark tousled head below him and he placed a comforting hand on Heero's bare shoulder, repositioning his long body to provide a support for the slender frame that rested against him as they both stared at the cold star studded emptiness waiting for their Gundams.
'Maybe.' he started hesitantly, his chin resting on the soft dark hair as he wrapped his arms comfortingly around his friend, 'maybe it's about finding someone to care about. someone to give you a reason to live.'
'Like Catherine?' Heero asked curiously, turning his head upwards to stare solemnly at the redhead who looked startled for a minute, before breaking into laughter.
Trowa shook his head, lifting his hand brush away the tear of laughter from the corner of one eye, and grinned at Heero, who continued to stare at him with large puzzled eyes. 'Not exactly like Catherine. You don't think of Quatre as a brother... at least...' Trowa added to himself dubiously as Heero simply stared at him silently, 'I hope not.'
'I've never had a brother.' Heero tucked his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his chin on the left knee as he spoke, 'so I don't know what you are supposed to feel towards brothers... but,' his eyes sparked mischievously, 'I'm pretty sure that you aren't supposed to sleep with them.'
Trowa's lips twitched faintly as he answered seriously, 'yes, I think so.'
Heero dropped his right leg from the platform, idly dangling it to and fro, his brows knitting together in a frown as he tried to understand his feelings for Quatre, and how they differed from his feelings for the other Gundam pilots.
'Do you want him to be happy?'
Heero blinked as he thought over Trowa's question. 'I. I think.' he stopped as he thought back to the time.
The first time he had seen Quatre. in the deserted Colony, when he woke up in his arms and saw the face of an angel. He remembered vividly, the grief and guilt that had burned in those eyes as they looked down on him, and the pain that had pierced his heart as he closed his eyes again. Instinctively trying to protect himself. from what, he hadn't known, not then, not until it was too late. And then later, when they were on Earth. seeing Quatre playing with the dogs on the beach. for one brief instance, Heero had known what it was like to be happy, to simply be content to exist. and be able to forget for that precious second, that he was a soldier, a killer.
When Quatre had come to him that first night in Sanq Kingdom, he had been confused, maybe even a little frightened at first, as he stirred from his sleep, disturbed by the sudden weight on his body. Heero had opened his eyes slowly, still a little groggy from sleep, only to stop breathing, his eyes snapping wide open as he recognised Quatre's face, his hair glowing a pale silver from the moonlight. He had stared wordlessly, spellbound by the beautiful eyes, his heart aching for the terrible sorrow he saw reflected in them and without thinking he raised his hand to cup the ivory cheek.
Heero blushed hotly and suddenly jumped up and ducked back inside the cockpit, deciding that he didn't want to continue this particular train of thought.
'Can I take that as a yes?' Trowa called out with mild amusement as the hatch slammed shut in his face. He couldn't help feeling mildly sorry for Quatre, he had a feeling that getting Heero to express his emotions was going to take a lot of work.
'I love you.' Quatre swallowed nervously, feeling cold sweat breaking out on his palms as he stared solemnly into the photo sitting on his desk. 'I can't do this.' He muttered to himself, wiping away the droplets of sweat from his brow as he ran his fingers impatiently through his long fringe. 'No matter how much I practise, it still sounds stupid. I sound stupid. Damn. Just three little words, Duo says. I'd like to see him try.' He spat, groaning aloud as he picked up the photo and looked at the impossibly beautiful face.
'What am I supposed to say to you?' Quatre asked the frozen image in the photo, 'that I want you, that I love you. That I want to be with you for the rest of our, about to be drastically shortened lives. that I want to protect you and make you happy... that I'd give you the earth and the moon and the stars, for one little smile... a kiss... a touch. That I wish that we weren't Gundam pilots... that... aaaargh! I'm babbling. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say.'
He caressed the emotionless face staring out of the small frame, and sighed heavily. 'That I don't want to lose you. That I'm terrified that one day, you'll be gone. That maybe what we have, the times we've shared doesn't mean anything to you. That you don't want me to touch you, ever again.' Quatre felt a sickening cramp in his guts as he heard himself finally putting words to the fear that tormented him.
The fear that he felt every time he reached out to Heero. wondering what he'd do if this time, Heero rejected him.
In those stolen moments... when he held him in his arms... feeling the heartbeat pulsing faintly against his own... tasting the salty sweetness of his flesh. Quatre knew that Heero loved him. He was certain of it. But at other times, like now. all his doubts and fears came rushing back and he was afraid to find out that maybe he had only seen what he wanted to see. And he was terrified that by wanting more, he might be risking what little he has.
'I love you.' He whispered wistfully to the boy staring solemnly at him from inside the square frame. 'I just wanted you to know that. I love you Heero.'
Heero grunted as he was slammed against his chair by the force of the blast. He felt a vague sense of satisfaction as he saw the remaining wreck burning brightly above him, knowing that he and Wing Zero had achieved their mission.
As the cockpit began to heat up, Heero closed his eyes, his body relaxing as the long held tension slowly drained out of him. He could feel the terrible dragging of the Earth's gravitational pull on his Wing Zero, and breathed a faint sigh of relief as he thought that at last, he could rest.
'Heero!'
He blinked, opening his eyes wide, his heart thudding heavily against his chest as he looked at his display and saw the three Gundams speed towards his falling Wing Zero.
'Quatre.' He mouthed soundlessly as he turned his monitor towards the nearest Gundam. Had he dreamt the voice? Heero surveyed his smoking console and knew that he was in trouble. for a fraction of a second, he hesitated. it would have been so easy to just give up. but then his eyes rested on the black and white Gundam speeding towards him and they softened.
'Do you want him to be happy?'
Heero felt a fierce smile rise on his face as he gripped his control lever hard and thrust forward with all his might, willing the Wing Zero to respond.
'Someone to give you a reason to live.'
The Wing Zero spread out its wings widely and surged forward, leaving behind a trail of light and heat as it pulled free of Earth's gravity and soared into the cool black emptiness where his friends were waiting for him. Where love was waiting for him.
~ Owari ~
Kat: Mmmm.. I'm a baaaad girl. ^_~ But too much candy's not good for you. If you liked this fic, send me lots of feedback and I might consider continuing. :lol
By the way, not to start any controversies or anything but my sis is a rabid D/H fan and doesn't like me pairing H with Q. so I just wanted to say that I always kind of thought that overall, the anime evidence backed the Q/H relationship, as you saw in my fic ^_~ (However, as a fic writer, I back ALL pairings, including D/H - who really do work very well speaking as a writer - so don't think that this necessarily means that Q wins in every story I write)
If you're a Q/H fan, check out Relic Yuy's site http://relicsieteyuy.homestead.com/home.html
That's what I call dedication. ^_^
Katana Rey
Please send comments to: apriori21@yahoo.com