2000
revised: 11-Jul-2001
I love writing humour fics (and I've been rewriting them too but I thought I'd try to get the Minuet arc done and out of the way, whew. I don't think I could take any more guilt about not finishing that one.)
Kat: I thought it'd be 'fun' to take a break between 'Triangle' and 'Minuet'. So I came up with this little spoof of what it might have been like if 'Triangle' had been a film... ^_~ I don't know whether I really should post this with 'Triangle' since it does seriously break the mood but...
'Okay, cut and wrap! That's all folks. Woooo...'
Everyone started to clap as Duo glanced up from his last scene with an impish smile and a wink for his co-star.
Director Katana shooed the remainder of cast and crew off the set, leaving behind the five bishonens who had taken the roles of the infamous Gundam pilots.
Trowa flipped his annoying bang out of his face, almost poking Duo in the eye as he glared at the retreating back of the oblivious director.
'I can't believe she cut all my scenes! I knew that she didn't like me. And what does she mean, they weren't integral to the plot?'
Duo giggled, 'Oh well, it's not too bad. She did promise to give you a role in the sequels. Right? And what about me? I ended up cast as the major villain.' He pouted adorably and tugged forward his heavy braid. 'I'm the most popular Gundam Wing pilot. I should have gotten Heero. Lets face it, no one believes that Heero would dump me for boring old Quatre... ouch! Hey.' He turned indignantly towards the irate blond who had wacked him with the copy of his script.
'Boring am I?' Quatre glared ferociously. 'You ham actor! I'm not surprised that Heero left you. You egomaniac!'
Duo sniffed miserably. 'How could you remind me that Heero left me! You pig! And it was all your fault.' He wailed and buried his head in Trowa's startled chest.
Quatre rolled his eyes. 'Will you stop confusing us with the damned script, you moron! And get off Trowa, remember, he's with me!'
Trowa blanched suddenly and hastily crossed his fingers behind his back. 'I hope that Ryo takes a while longer to change.' He prayed fervently under his breath, hastily pasting a sickly smile on his face when Quatre looked at him with doting eyes.
Meanwhile, across the set...
'Oh Wufei, I can't believe how cool you were in the end scene.' Heero gushed as he gazed on the beautiful profile of his darling Wufei.
Wufei straightened proudly, snapping his head up as he graciously passed his hand to Heero who clutched it to his chest.
'I must say that I really like this director's take on me. I thought that she really captured the proper spirit of honour and justice didn't you? Though I wasn't too pleased that you had to play the paramour of that nincompoop Maxwell and that bimbo Winner. Still, I think that I can talk the director into changing the motivation in the sequel so that we can end up together, as we should have.'
'Wufei. You're wonderful.' Sighed Heero as he leaned in to Wufei's embrace.
Back at the other side...
'I can't believe Heero left me for that pompous twit!' Duo seethed as he glowered at the loving couple.
'Oh be quiet.' Quatre snapped crossly, distracted by the sudden appearance of Ryo, and the way Trowa started to slobber all over that nobody. 'You know that conniving slut only slept with you to get his part. And he's only sucking up to Wufei because he has influence with the new director. In fact, you should know,' Quatre deliberately raised his voice, hoping to get Trowa's attention, 'that he even tried to seduce me, when he found out that my sister was one of the producers of Minuet. Huh!'
Duo started to sob loudly into his handkerchief, drawing the uneasy attention of Ryo as well as Trowa, who sighed in silent frustration. 'How can you be so mean! Oh Heero. My Heero... Waaaaaah....'
Ryo glanced worriedly at the sobbing figure and whispered to Trowa who was trying desperately to avoid Quatre's accusatory glare. 'Are you sure we shouldn't be doing something?'
Trowa shuddered. 'No. Let's just get out of here while we can. Oh shit!' He tried to hide behind his heavy bang, 'Wufei and Heero are coming this way.'
'Maxwell. You are so undignified. Stop this obscene display at once.' Wufei ordered arrogantly, with Heero clinging closely on his arm.
Duo at once jumped to Wufei's side and started to try to drag Heero off by force. 'Heero. Come back to me. I'll rescue you from this awful person.'
Heero protested loudly at this uncouth treatment as Wufei grabbed hold of the other arm and started to tug back.
'Owwww! Let go! Owwwww! Heeeeeey! That hurts!'
'How dare you touch my beloved, you, you peasant! Let him go. At once!' Wufei snarled as he continued to pull Heero towards him.
'No way. You, you justice raving lunatic! You let him go.' Duo pulled at Heero's arm in determination.
'Owww! Somebody let go! Now!' Heero screeched in real pain as he felt himself being torn in two.
'Let him go!'
Both Duo and Wufei suddenly released Heero in shock and turned to face the new speaker. Heero crumpled into the ground, moaning softly and rubbing his sore arms.
Trowa stared with an open mouth as Ryo stepped forward commandingly, his blue eyes flashing with anger.
'Shame on you. He could have been seriously hurt! Neither of you deserve him.' Ryo snapped crossly as he started to help Heero to his feet. Heero turned adoring eyes on the black haired bishonen and smiled sweetly as he snuggled into his arms.
'Thank you, Ryo. Will you help me to my changing room?'
Ryo blinked, dazzled by the luminous eyes that gazed at him with admiration. 'Umm... yeah. Sure. Whatever you say, Mr Yuy.'
'Oh, call me Heero. Please.' Heero giggled softly as he and Ryo started to walk out of the set.
Wufei and Duo looked on with gaping mouths, as Trowa started to trot after the disappearing couple. They stood in silence as Quatre ran after Trowa and started to glomp on to the tall figure, who teetered uneasily as he tried to remove the clutching blond from his arms. Then they looked at each other and at the set and shrugged sadly.
'Looks like we got dumped. Again.' Duo sighed in resignation as he kicked the floor disconsolately.
Wufei glared at him. 'Speak for yourself, Maxwell. This is all your fault.'
'Oh Shut up!' Duo threw his script at the annoying bishonen and stomped off to his own changing room. 'That's the last time I work with that two timing, temperamental, untrustworthy..... actor!'
In Heero's changing room...
'Oh Ryo,' Heero giggled as he leaned forward to sip his glass of champagne. 'You do say the nicest things. Keep talking about my lovely eyes.'
Outside...
Trowa sagged sadly as he peeked through the window, trying all the whilst to free himself of Quatre's death grip. 'But... but... I saw Ryo first...' He blubbered.
'Mine. Mine. Mine.' Quatre muttered firmly as he hung on to Trowa's leg.
Back on the set....
Wufei stood alone, a figure of solitude in the empty set, with hunched shoulders and hands shoved in his pockets.
'So you are still here my dragon?'
Came a deep and sultry voice from the darkness. Wufei started and looked at the handsome man who appeared with enormous dark eyes.
'I thought I might find you here. I guess that things didn't work out with Heero after all.' The caramel haired man came towards him and put his hand on Wufei's shoulder in a comradely fashion. 'I warned you that those high strung types couldn't be trusted. Come on, I'll buy you a drink and you can tell me all about it.'
'Heero left me!' Duo wailed into the pained ears of director Katana who looked ready to throttle the crying bishonen. 'I want him back! Waaaaaaah! Do something!'
Director Katana sighed, the braided baka sure was singled-minded when it came to the pilot of Wing Zero.
'Okay, okay. I swear, you'll get to have Heero as your romantic lead in my next pic. That's the best I can do. Take it or leave it.'
Duo looked up with bright eyes, confirming Katana's suspicions that most of the tears had been false. 'I'll take it.' He rubbed his hands gleefully. 'And this time,' he bargained shrewdly, 'no more playing around. It's me and Heero. That's it.'
Katana shrugged, she was getting tired of being pressed by her stupid co-producer Bara-chan as it was. 'Sure. Whatever. In my next pic, you and Heero get to be lovey dovey and I promise, no interference.' She shook her head sadly when Duo bounced to his feet and danced out of her office, his braid swinging heavily behind him. 'Actors.' She muttered crossly.
Then, she glared at the small head that timidly poked his head through the door.
'Umm... excuse me, Director Katana? But Zechs is here to see you, something about not being satisfied with his part in Minuet?'
The End
Kat: Bara-chan is my immoto and a total Duo-freak! ::groans:: She's always nagging me about how I write Duo. Still ^_~ I'm as bad about Heero, if not worse, so...
Onwards to 'Minuet'. And get ready for even more angst for our gorgeous threesome. Poor darlings.
Katana
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