revised: 11-Jul-2001
AC 195 to 202
I think that I fell in love with him when he blew up my Gundam.
He was the most infuriating, annoying person that I ever met. When I rescued him from the Federation hospital and returned his Gundam to him, all I got in return was a quiet request to shut up then during the night, he stole parts from my Gundam and flew away.
He was always leaving me behind...
He had no idea that I was falling deeper and deeper into those intense dark blue eyes every time we met. How could he, when I didn't? All that I knew was that we were Gundam pilots and that when I was with him, I wasn't alone any more. It wasn't until I met the other Gundam pilots that I began to realize that my feelings for him were more special, more unique and passionate.
I didn't have a chance to tell him how I felt before I saw him fall, as his Gundam exploded behind him.
To tell him that the destruction of the Federation shuttle wasn't his fault. That we had all been taken in by Treize's ruse. That I was glad to have learned his name at last. I still can't believe that it was Sally who told me his name for the first time. But then again, I was speechless when she told me later while we were working together as Preventers, that she had learned his name from Relena, who had identified him as her boyfriend.
I remember the joy that I felt when I looked into the monitors and saw him in his Gundam, fighting against Oz, as Quatre and I were trying to leave Earth that had rejected us, so brutally. I knew then that I would see him again.
Except, when I did, I wasn't expecting to see him pointing a gun at me, or to have been held captive in an Oz prison either for that matter. It was definitely not the kind of reunion that I'd been hoping for. But then Heero surprised me. He rescued me and took care of me, even though it had nothing to do with his mission. I began to hope for the first time, especially when I found out that he had been using my name as a fake identity on the Colony. Maybe Heero wasn't made out of ice.
That bastard. He hit me. Once for one, he said.
As I lay in yet another dark little cell, I couldn't help thinking about him. What was it about that antisocial, cold hearted, inconsiderate, son-of-a-bitch? Why couldn't I get him out of my head? Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was a pale face, with the heavy dark hair falling into those large intense eyes. I also felt a little worried as I remembered how Heero had said that Wufei wasn't the kind of person to do things in a roundabout way. How well did he know Wufei? How could he, who never seemed to be interested in relating with other people, know him better than me?
It had hurt, badly, when Heero had jumped up and ran off to save Relena, who had managed to get herself kidnapped by Mariemaia. But I smiled and followed him, because he asked me. Because I got to be with him, one more time.
I thought my heart had stopped when Wing Zero burst into flames in the sky.
I visited him everyday in the hospital until he recovered. Until he just vanished one day...
And once again, I went back to my empty life and waited. Waited for day I looked up from my junk pile and saw the slender young man, no longer the stripling boy, staring at me with those incredible eyes. I wish that I had talked him into staying with me, instead of letting him return to Earth.
Three weeks. He stayed with me for three short, wonderful, heady weeks. I don't think I had ever been so happy. I knew that he was happy to be with me too. But he was restless. He didn't like space any more. He wanted to be on Earth. He said that he wanted to have a 'normal' life. That he wanted to go to university. To have a job. That he wanted to get a puppy, for god's sake!
So he left me again. And I let him go. I was a fool.
At last... I could hardly keep still during the flight, I think that the flight attendant wanted to kill me by the end. She definitely had a nasty gleam in her eye as I walked past her and bade her good bye. Not that I cared. I was going to see Heero. We were going to live together.
I collected my bag and started to look around, when I heard my name being called out. I saw Heero, looking even more gorgeous that I remembered, wearing a light blue shirt and white pants, walking towards me. I opened my arms and he started running, I could hardly contain my gleeful grin as I caught him in my arms and held him close. It had been so long. I had to wait for over 8 months before my application to be accepted for repatriation as a Citizen of Earth was passed and then had to wait another 2 months before I managed to find a job, near Heero's home. But now, we were finally together, and it was largely thanks to Quatre's efforts. I knew that Quatre had helped Heero to find his apartment and had been giving him some financial assistance with his studies as well. But then, I reminded myself comfortingly that Heero was a 'Hacker Extraordinaire' who had given Quatre a lot of unofficial assistance in restoring Winner Tech as one of the leaders in Industry.
I wasn't really happy with Heero's apartment. The décor reminded me too much of Quatre's luxurious home on his private estate, and anyway, it was far too big for the two of us. I also didn't like the fact that Quatre was the legal owner of our home. I did insist on paying rent but I knew that it was far too little for the kind of place we were living in. I didn't want to go on about it to Heero though. We've already been fighting far too much. And always about Quatre.
I wished that Quatre hadn't come to the spaceport with Heero. It was nice of him but I wanted to have that time alone with Heero. And then to have come back to the apartment with us was too much. The way he bustled around in the kitchen, like it was his home, drove me crazy and Heero didn't seem to notice or to understand! Every time I looked around the neat lounge room, I longed to smash the beautiful white piano. That first night, after Heero finally fell asleep, I snuck back into the lounge room and picked up the silver photo frame with its picture of Heero and Quatre and cut the picture in two. Damn it, it was my home and I wasn't going to share Heero with anyone, not even in a picture. I did feel a little guilty as I held Quatre's smiling face in my hands, and I carefully hid the cut piece of the photo away in a music book, in the piano stool. I placed the photo frame face down and hoped that Heero wouldn't notice for a while.
I sat on the balcony chair and rocked backwards and forwards, staring out at the black night sky, the heavy clouds hiding the moon and the stars. I began to feel worried. How could I possibly compete with someone who was a multimillionaire? If Quatre tried to take Heero away from me, what could I do, what should I do? Maybe it would be better for Heero if he was with someone like Quatre, someone who was kind, and could give him anything that he wanted...
He was in our home.
I was furious with Heero for not telling me that Quatre had a key to our apartment. I organized for the locksmith to come and change the locks immediately. I also forbade Heero to have any further contact with Quatre. Just because he was our landlord, it didn't mean that we had to let him be a part of our lives. I couldn't understand why Heero didn't realize that Quatre had ulterior motives for being nice to him, to us. Was he really that stupid? Didn't he understand that Quatre wanted him? Or maybe he did, and he liked having both of us around, to feel that he had power over us. Damn. Me and my big mouth.
After I said that to Heero, I got stuck in the guestroom for over a month.
It was almost worth it though. He also refused to see Quatre entirely. Until, they met again at Nexus that is.
Quatre... I just couldn't get Heero away from him.
What I never really acknowledged or wanted to admit, was that they did have a lot in common. Heero had been learning to play the piano from Quatre and for a while, even I had to agree that it was quite harmless for them to be playing together. But then, when Quatre began creeping his way into our lives, as he and Heero shared their love of philosophy, history and poetry by holding discussion sessions, late into the night, I began to see that I was losing my place beside Heero. I also resented the extravagant gifts that Quatre liked to give Heero. I know that Heero didn't care about money but it hurt to see someone else give him things that I couldn't afford. I started to think about our future and realized that I was going to have to change if I wanted to have a chance of competing against someone like Quatre.
I guess I never thought about whether Heero wanted me to change...
End Part 2
Katana
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