28-Jun-2000
Notes: This is a new series, a spin off of the 'Shadows and Reflections' arc. I've been dying to tell this story for a few weeks now but found that it would take a bit longer to get around to this new Track if I went sequentially. So instead, I started 'Broken Shards', a collection of POV stories from the perspectives of the 'locals' who meet up with our GW boys on the parallel worlds adventure. The first in the series is a love story. (Okay, it's sap) I'm not going to tell you which Track this takes place in, since I don't want to restrict myself in the 'Shadows and Reflections' storyline, and that is still an ongoing series. Also, though, I'll have numbered parts, they are meant to be a stand alone series, so each sequence will be given its own title as well.
It was AC 198, Oz had completely taken control of Earth, as well as the Colonies and everywhere you went, there were soldiers wearing the black and silver uniform of Oz. Things had gone from back to worse when Queen Relena Peacecraft was assassinated by an unknown man, on the Christmas eve of 197 and Khushrenada had established martial law under the pretext of restoring order and peace. I decided that it was the better part of valour to keep a low profile and went into hiding, as did my 'associates' and slowly learned to live without reaching for my gun every time someone knocked on my door. At times, I wondered what the others were doing but after a while I learned to get used to being alone, to walk without constantly glancing side to side and to just focus on getting through one day at a time.
I remembered the first time that I saw him. I had just finished shopping for the week and my hands were fully occupied in trying not to lose grip of the overloaded paper bag, and not really looking at where I was going. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw a pair of slim legs clad in tight jeans run past me, and a lock of long dark brown hair almost brushed past my cheek. At the time, I was too busy trying to get home before my macadamia brittle ice cream melted to pay much attention to the shouting coming from behind me, or to the two Oz goons who ran past me. I mean, I was retired, you know? It wasn't any of my business what the Oz soldiers did, it wasn't as though anyone had cared or appreciated what we did even when we had been active. Okay, so I was still a little bitter. Could you blame me? There we were, five idealistic teenagers, filled to the brim with idyllic zeal and hope and what happened? We got chewed up and spat out by the powers that be, once we had fulfilled our function of spreading chaos and death so that the old Federation was nice and ripe for a takeover by Oz. That bastard Khushrenada.
At least I still had my health and all my mental faculties, right? Not all of us had come through the upheaval relatively unscathed, though we all adapted, more or less, to the new order. I hated having to keep my eyes down whenever I was near Oz soldiers but it just wasn't worth the grief to get into a tussle with anyone wearing black and silver, not unless you wanted to find them waiting for you one night, to take you out for a nice 'ride' to a work farm. I hadn't met anyone who had managed to come back after a trip to the work farm, nor had anyone else. It was just another of those 'necessary' measures that Khushrenada had introduced after he placed Earth under martial law. Anyway, there I was, in my brown overalls, learning to 'fit in' and minding my own business when he turned up and my life was never the same again.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Because I didn't, and never had actually. I mean, come on, how could you possibly learn enough about a person, except maybe, wow, va boom, 'I'm in total lust' sort of thing, at first sight? Except, it happened to me. Love I mean, though I definitely felt like howling at the moon too. One minute I was walking along, carrying this heavy paper bag stuffed to the brim with groceries, next, I'm sprawled on the ground and I'm staring at a mess of long brown hair on my chest. Then the head lifted up and I stared into the two most gloriously alive blue eyes. Eyes that I recognised, except that was the first time that we had met. I just sort of sat and stared with my mouth open as the vision in front of me grinned then jumped to his feet and dragged me up and grabbed my hand. 'Come on.' He said quietly, even as I took in the four Oz soldiers, they had a tendency to multiply like rabbits when you don't look, who were now chasing him, us. 'Lets get out of here.'
I nodded numbly, though my heart was racing with excitement and something else, something that I only understood later. I sort of managed to stammer out a 'okay, Doll' before we were running full tilt, my groceries rolling all of the asphalt, totally forgotten. I think I already knew by then though that I wasn't talking to Doll, not to my Doll anyways. Still, this was before I learned that he was called Heero Yuy in his own world, or that his version of myself had actually taken the name of our orphanage and called himself Duo Maxwell. Funny how some things between our worlds could be so alike and others, so different. I didn't know any of this back then, all I knew was that I would have run to the end of the world if he asked me. I don't think I was so happy in my life as when I was running, his hand tightly held in mine and he looked back at me and smiled.
We ran for a while, until the goons following us got tired or lost or both and disappeared. Then we stopped and I gasped for breath, it had been over six months since I was required to do anything this strenuous and boy did my body let me know it. As I panted, holding onto my sides, Heero turned to me and held out his hand and smiled, again. 'I suppose that it's a little late but I'm Heero. Not your Heero but from another world. I hope that it makes sense.' He said, looking a little anxious as I started to laugh as soon as I recovered enough breath. I had known that he wasn't Doll the first moment he smiled at me. Still, even so, it was a bit much to swallow that he was from another world, at first that is. After a while I grew to accept that fact and eventually, even that one day Heero would have to leave me, but that would all come later, much later. At that time, I wasn't interested in anything really except to be with him.
'I'm Priest.' I said in my politest voice and saw Heero's widen a little with surprise and wondered why. 'I don't have any other name. Why were the Oz police after you?' I asked curiously as I eagerly studied his lean frame, admiring the way the tight jeans clung to his limbs, and the open black leather jacket he wore, revealing the thin green tank top underneath. I hadn't seen Doll wear anything except black jumpsuits that covered him from neck down and wasn't even particularly figure clinging. This Heero was seriously hot. Heero saw the way I was salivating and looked a little embarrassed at first but then obviously decided to find it amusing. He shrugged and I felt my heart miss a skip as he leaned closer towards me and whispered, 'they objected to me punching out the asshole who tried to cop a feel as I walked by. It's not that serious. Yet.' He added with a low laugh. I felt my eyes glazing over as I got even closer to him, close enough to smell the scent of the shampoo that he used and managed to whisper back, 'yet, as in it's going to get serious?' Heero nodded seriously, his eyes not once leaving mine. I just grinned crazily and asked, 'so where do I sign up?'
I thought I'd died and gone to heaven when Heero smiled back and suddenly leaned forward, our lips brushing lightly against each other. 'You just did.' He said, his tone light and amused, but I wasn't really listening. I just entwined my arms around his narrow waist and pulled him in and totally lost myself as I hungrily explored his mouth. Do you know that people interrupt you at the worst times? There we were, getting to know each other better, and if I had my way, we would have really gotten to know each other, when this voice just cut in out of nowhere and squeaked out, 'Heero!', then a second later, 'Duo! What do you think you're doing?' Man, I was pissed. What the hell was Prince doing around here anyway? Raining on my parade. Sheesh. That was when Heero introduced me to the so called leader of their group, a Mr Quatre Rebarba Winner, you've got to be kidding me. If our Prince was also a member of the infamous Winner clan it was no wonder that he would always refuse to tell us where and how he got his blasted funding from. Anyway, back to Quatre and his wide eyed shocked routine.
He got all fretty and edgy when he found out that I wasn't their Duo Maxwell. You should have seen the way he looked at me then, as if it was my fault that they had been split apart when they got dropped into my crummy corner of the universe. He just grabbed hold of Heero and dragged him off to the corner of the little alley that we had hidden in and proceeded to tell him off, in a really loud whisper. I looked at Heero while Quatre was lecturing him and to my complete amazement, I saw him roll his eyes at me and I couldn't resist winking at him. Of course, Mr perfect leader saw me doing that and glared daggers at me. Don't know what his problem was. They were looking for the others, and for an object that they called 'Widget', whatever the hell that was. Apparently they needed this Widget to get out of my world. And, not that they told me straight away of course, a beam rifle, a revolutionary piece of technology that had only been developed in the last year and was only available at the Oz research centre, the one in Africa run by that creepy Doctor J.
It took a bit of doing but we finally talked Quatre into letting me work with Heero in helping them round up their fellow Gundam pilots. It was interesting that when we compared notes, my associates in the failed Operation Meteor were one and the same as Heero's friends. I was fascinated in particular by these Gundams that Heero described to me. If we had such powerful machines, I couldn't help wondering, whether we might have been more successful in our attempt to liberate the Colonies from Earth. So all we had to do was to find men who looked exactly like Jester, me and Dragon. No problem. I was a little more worried about this Widget thing that Heero also wanted to look for. I mean, lets get real, a small white ball like object? Come on. Where the hell was I supposed to start?
Quatre and Heero decided that it was better if they split up, so that they could widen the area of search and naturally, since I lived here, I would be more useful in assisting one of them, as well as helping out with what information I could give them about my world. I pointed out that I would probably be more useful in helping Heero, though I didn't bother to elaborate on why, and he agreed with me, though the corners of his mouth did twitch a little. Quatre definitely looked sour about the whole thing but in the end, he had to agree with our reasoning. He did drag Heero off for another lecture though this time, he kept his voice a lot lower so I couldn't hear a word they said, and I was trying, damn it. That was how I found myself living during the dark hours once again, spending more than half my days on the net as I helped Heero to surf through the net, and by God, he was the best hacker that I ever saw, trying to find a hint on the whereabouts of his friends. Heero didn't really say much but he and Quatre were pretty worried about them. Apparently this was the first time that they had been separated since they started travelling through these parallel worlds, as Quatre called them. Heero and I spent a lot of time together in those days, we were fascinated by each other and we shared how we saw our other selves. So I found out that I, or rather Duo, was Heero's best friend, someone that he trusted and liked, though he found him maddening at times, and I wasn't sure if I was glad, or flattered, or jealous. A little of each I suspect. And Heero found out about Doll. He didn't like what he heard at all. He stayed away from me for a few days after the first time I started to tell him about Doll.
I had met Doll just before our descent on Earth. There we were, five fifteen year olds, all of us experienced in the ways of killing and destruction. It was kind of unreal. We knew each other only by our codenames and some of us, like me and I always suspected, at least Doll, didn't have any other names anyways. It was me who named Doll actually. Dekim had just introduced him to us as Unit One. Doll was always very quiet and obedient, rather unnaturally so.
He just accepted it when I started to call him Doll, and soon that who he became to all of us. I had wondered if Dekim had done something to him, but I never found any proof, and believe me, I looked. When we received our orders to destroy ourselves rather than to surrender to Oz, I didn't manage to get to Doll in time to stop him from blowing up that last base, while he was still inside. I gave Doll up for dead then and it was only later, a lot later, that I found out that Jester had also been in the base and had managed to save Doll at the last minute. Since that day, Doll stopped speaking, though he did recover physically.
I had a bit of a crush on Doll from the first. Though it was impossible to keep liking someone who didn't have any feelings. Heero asked me if I liked him because he looked like Doll and I had to think about that for a while. Then I asked him if he liked me because I looked like Duo and he laughed. He said, 'you may look like Duo Priest, but you aren't him. You aren't really like him at all. You like different kinds of music, you laugh at different jokes. You don't even like the same foods. You adore Blake and the other Romantics, Duo hates that stuff. He thinks it's mush.' Heero shrugged, his brows puckering a little as he looked at me carefully. 'About the only thing that you two have in common is that silly braid. He's just as attached to it as you are.' I had to laugh and pull my braid out of his hand. We had been living together for a month now and I was getting far too used to having Heero in my life. 'Well, I could say the same about you and Doll. Except he doesn't even read poetry or listen to music.' I sighed as Heero's face clouded over. 'Why don't we talk about something else?' I suggested as I went to the CD rack and started to rummage around my collection, 'what do you think? Something by Mozart sound good to you?' Heero nodded happily and returned to the sofa and tucked my fuzzy rabbit into his arms and sank into the cushions. I still remember that day as the best day of my life, before Quatre returned with Duo in tow and word of the other two, who had finally located Widget.
'Why did you call yourself Priest?' This, from a guy who came up with the brilliant and original Duo, after Solo died, ouch, ouch, and Maxwell, after the Church that we grew up in? I glared at him, I just found their version of me hard to stomach for long, far too cheerful and bouncy, god he got on my nerves! 'Dekim asked us to use codenames and since I wore this cross all the time,' that, we had to have in common, sheesh, 'so I just became Priest. It wasn't really my idea.' 'Well, what about the others? I mean, Prince? What is he, a dog?' I looked at Quatre, who just heaved a deep sigh and for the first time, felt a kernel for sympathy for that guy. 'And what about this Dragon business? And Jester? Come on, Trowa's not exactly a barrel of laughs you know?' Duo continued to chatter on, not really paying attention to the rest of us, though I noticed that Heero didn't look as annoyed as Quatre looked, or I felt. 'And why don't you have Gundams by the way? I mean, you've got beam rifles right? So there are some kind of mobile suits around here right? And where are your friends now? Can't you get in touch with them and ask them to help us as well?' I couldn't help wondering if anything ever shut this guy up. It was only later when I was alone with him one day that he finally admitted that he was trying to cover up how awkward he felt around me by overcompensating with chatter. Well, I felt awkward around him too. I mean, I was in love with Heero and I wasn't sure whether to feel guilty or to be jealous, or to be suspicious that he might try to, I don't know what? It wasn't an easy time for Heero and me, once Duo came back. I guess I didn't really think about how difficult it must have been for him.
We decided that since Trowa and Wufei, jeez it was weird trying to remember that they were the same guys I knew, with different names, were already in position that we'd rendezvous with them in Africa once they recovered Widget from Sally Po. And then, all that'd be left is to swipe a beam rifle and they could be on their merry way. It was the first time I truly started to face the reality that I was going to lose Heero. I didn't take it very well. Until I met Duo, I think that I convinced myself that Heero, delightful though he was, was suffering from a mild case of delusion, which I was only too happy to indulge him in, and as for Quatre, I just conveniently ignored him as best as I could, that's what you get for being a third wheel, right? But now, it was all becoming just a bit too real and I got sort of freaked. I tried to convince Heero to stay with me and got mad when he refused. Then I started to talk to him about finding a world of our own. I think that I might have succeeded at that, if we didn't run into with Jester and Doll.
Of all the Oz bases in the world, we had to pick one that Jester wanted to blow up. Talk about luck. I ran into Jester when we landed in Cairo. Naturally it didn't take him long to find out that something was going on, the minute he saw Heero. Still I might have been able to explain that one away if it hadn't been for my loud mouthed clone who mistook him for their Trowa and blabbed everything in the first few minutes of his arrival in our hotel room. How he could talk so fast is beyond me. I can't do it. Not that I wanted to really. Jester wanted in as soon as he clued in on the Gundam pilots' mission to steal the beam rifle and in hindsight that was probably for the best. I mean, who'd notice one missing beam rifle amongst all the rubble left behind after a messy explosion, right? But at the time, I felt like killing Duo, especially when I saw the way he stared at Heero and at me. I knew that he knew. Blast him. Jester tended to think of Doll as his private property, no, not in that way. Ever since he saved his life, he got all over protective and dragged him around with him wherever he went, still spewing an occasional explosion here and there, when he thought he could get away with it, without calling down too much attention. But the African Base was too big a target. I knew that if Jester got involved, that he'd have to start running again, he and Doll. That was before I realized that I'd find myself tagging right along side them of course. Back then, I was still dreaming of a happy ever after with Heero.
Heero was kind of cool to Jester, he told me privately that he found him a bit creepy, that was his word, not mine. Oh well, it takes all kinds really. When I finally met their Trowa, personally he totally freaked me out. I don't trust anyone who's that polite and soft spoken. Brrrrrr. Especially when he can fight and kill so efficiently. Anyway, Heero's first meeting with Doll did not go that well, to put it mildly. Well, to be honest, they sort of stared at each other for a long time, then Doll went crazy and just jumped at Heero. I don't think I've ever seen such a vicious fight before, they kicked and punched at each other like two perfectly matched clockworks, their every move, a perfect reflection of each other. Luckily though, nothing was getting through, since each move and blocked and counter blocked. It was a few minutes before Jester and Quatre finally pulled them apart, I'm afraid that both Duo and I got a little too interested in the fight to even think about intervening till then. Heero was very pale and his eyes had gone very cold and hard, but Doll just looked back at him totally blankly, as though nothing had happened. From that moment onwards, we made sure that those two were never left alone together. We were all afraid that if we did, we might not find one of them, if not both of them, alive when we got back. Heero never talked about that fight, or Doll ever again, not even in bed. He just pretended that he didn't exist. I wish I had been able to erase Duo from our lives that easily.
Once we were in Casablanca, Duo was always around Heero. Whenever I left him alone, I'd return to find the two of them talking or just spending time with each other. It drove me crazy. I didn't know what to do. I did think about killing Duo, or at the very least, arranging for him to be lost, forever, but I knew that there was nothing that I could do that wouldn't make Heero hate me. And I couldn't risk that. Because he loved me. And whatever happened, I would always have that. I think that Duo hated me. To me, he was an inconvenience, sometimes, even a source of jealousy but I never hated him. I didn't have to. I was in love, for the first time in my life and Heero loved me back. Whenever I saw his eyes, I knew that. It made me feel ten feet tall and invulnerable. The brief time we shared in Casablanca was even more precious because we knew that it was all that we would ever have. Trowa and Wufei joined us in Casablanca and I finally realized that Heero had been telling me the truth all along and that we were from two different worlds. To think, of all the people, it was Dragon's clone who finally managed to convince me to face reality. If it wasn't so funny, I think I'd cry.
Wufei was a nice guy. That was the weirdest part of this whole weird episode in my life. I'd look at him and know, to the bottom of my heart that he was totally sincere in everything he said and did. I never told him anything about Dragon. Neither did Jester. We didn't talk about it, or make an agreement not to tell him or anything, we just knew. Jester and Trowa did go off together for an hour one day, though they never told us what they did or talked about. They just avoided each other after that. I wish that Duo and I had been able to do that. But from the first, it had been like picking at a sore tooth, we just couldn't leave each other alone. And then there was Heero. I suspected that Duo had a thing for him, but he never admitted to it, and certainly Heero never seemed to have a clue. But he was always there between us, no matter what we talked about, in the end, it had all been about Heero. Wufei was the one who suggested that I come along with them. Geez. I think until that moment, I just hadn't really faced what it meant to be in love with someone who didn't belong in my world. But when the five of them started arguing about whether I should be allowed to come along or not, that was when I knew. That I couldn't go.
Heero asked me to choose. He said that he'd be happy to stay with me, or for me to go with him. He wanted to be with me. Forever, he said. I think if hearts can break, mine did that day. I had to look him in the eye and tell him to go, without me. It was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do in my life. I don't know if I could have gone through with it though. Heero didn't accept it at any rate. He just repeated that whether we were together in my world or his, or another, we'd be together forever. I didn't have the heart to argue with him, then or later. Though Duo did, ceaselessly. I was never so grateful for that idiotic chatter of his before or since. He just talked and talked and talked until finally Heero just gave up and stayed silent, though he kept hold of my hand. I tried to say thanks to Duo that night but he just pushed past me rudely and went to his room. He never talked to me alone after that. I couldn't really blame him. I did see Quatre privately though and told him that I wasn't coming. He wasn't surprised but I think he was a little relived. We agreed that it was pointless to argue with Heero so we decided to stay quiet until the very last moment. I was a little startled when I saw Jester going into Quatre's room after I left though. He never came out and I decided not to ask him what happened that night.
Wufei, Trowa and Duo shared the same room and in the morning, Wufei was kind of grouchy. But he didn't snap at Duo, even when he swiped the last blackberry Danish pastry, with that outrageous grin of his. I saw him look at Duo with rather sorry eyes, though he immediately switched over to a black frown when Duo looked at him. Like I said, he was a nice guy. I thought that I'd kind of miss Wufei, even though I didn't really get to know him that well. I knew that I definitely would not miss Trowa, or Duo, or Quatre, man that guy was the world's worst fusspot. I thought that Prince was a royal pain in the butt with his arrogant noblesse oblige attitude that made my teeth ache but Quatre was actually worse. He actually believed in being kind and considerate, even to one's enemies, give me a break. This thing of his 'let's try to keep the number of casualties down to an absolute minimum' just got on my nerves, though all the others took it pretty seriously, even Heero and Jester bought into his act. And he was just too perfect. I hated the way he was always right. Mostly because he was.
Don't you just hate those self-righteous bastards who are in the right and know that they are? Aaaargh. And I really hated the fact that he was nice. It just made me look so bad when I didn't like him. I know that he did that on purpose, that blond do-gooder.
And I really hated the fact that he was against me from day one. Well, more that he disapproved of my relationship with Heero. Because he knew. He knew that we'd have to break up. I almost punched him that last night when he told me, so sincerely, how sorry he was because he hadn't been able to stop us from getting involved before we got to this stage. Asshole. I wasn't being fair and I knew it, but I didn't care. I should have punched him. Damn.
So there we were, standing in the middle of an African jungle, at night, with the stars overhead and glowing red flames from the exploding base lighting our bases.
Romantic, right? When hell freezes over. I never did get that last goodbye kiss from Heero. We were too busy fighting for our lives. Unfortunately. I never saw them leave my world, but Jester told me that he had seen their Widget grow into a arch shaped gateway and the Gundam pilots disappear, one by one, inside its glowing portal. He also told me that Heero was the second last person to leave. He stayed by the side of the gateway, looking around and waiting, for me I knew, even before Jester told me. But then Duo just grabbed hold of him and dragged him inside, and when they disappeared the gateway remained for a minute longer, then vanished after them. Jester looked at me and I knew he was wondering why I hadn't been there. I didn't say anything. It wasn't any of his business after all. I just nodded and looked away from him, trying not to break down and bawl right there and then. A guy has some pride after all. I think Jester understood before he left, without saying anything more. So there I was, in Africa, looking at the most beautiful sunrise in my life, all alone, with Oz out for my blood and crying, just standing there and crying. I felt like crying, so sue me.
Well, that's pretty much it really. The love of my life came and went and I went on. Thanks to the plans that Quatre gave Jester, so that was what they were doing all night huh, riiiiiight, we are now Gundam pilots. And as Shinigami, I'm making sure that Oz has some interesting nights. Doll is piloting Wing and he's started to talk again. He still hasn't smiled though. I did tell Jester that he had made a mistake in assigning Heavyarms to Dragon and taking Shenlong but he refused to change and told me that he'd gut me if I tell Dragon. Oh well. I suppose it's for the best really, Dragon's not all that stable and let's face it, would you like him to be in charge of a machine that spits fire? I wouldn't. I think I'm actually getting to like Prince, wonder of wonders. He's not that bad. I mean, he's still irritating as hell but knowing the alternative always makes a difference. As for me and Doll? Who knows. We're too busy making trouble for Oz to spend that much time with each other and like Heero said, they are two different people. I wonder every now and then, whether he got together with Duo and finally decided that it was none of my business. I hope they got back to their world, I really do. But somedays, I look at the stars in the sky and wonder if they might ever return to my world again. I know that if they do, I would never let Heero go. Not without me. Not a second time.
End Part 1
Katana
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