5 Mar 2000

ok ok this is my first try at this kind of fic so be gentle oh and I don't own her.

Warnings: angst, and more angst

When people see me they see a proud girl that fights for what she believes in using words more than actions. When they see me they see beauty and power. Up until today I believed it but then I saw myself.

I walked by the mirror on my way to the shower as I always do but today I stopped to at myself. At first I saw what they tell me to see. I see a girl with 36 inch hips and bust. Perfectly shaped legs. Hair that is a sandy gold. A face with an angelic look and a kissable mouth. My look is gentle and caring, perfect for the peace leader that I am.

Stepping closer to the mirror I saw what no one else sees. I have a scar on my left breast that I do not remember seeing before. Upon close inspection of my body more scars appear. A small scar on my thigh from an accident as a child. But this isn't all I see.

My right breast is slightly smaller than the left. My tummy has a roundness to it that seems to get bigger by the moment. My legs are not perfect they are too full at the thighs. Perhaps I have known about such things deep down inside and never allowed myself to think on them. Maybe this is the reason my skirts are longer than the other young ladies my age wear. Maybe this is the reason Heero does not love me.

As I walk away from the mirror to shower I step away with a new knowledge of myself and a feeling of loss.

Kalove