31-Aug-2001
Title: We All Know
Author: Kimmie (JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com)
Archive: GWAddiction, GWNation, Silent Passion
Category: shonen ai, yaoi, angst, songfic, POV
Pairings: 4+3, 3+1, implied 4xeveryone
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no
money... Stuff like that. Yeah.
Rating: R
Warnings: Language. Adult content.
Spoilers: None.
Notes: This one is dedicated to the ItzAGundam Yahoo!Group... the
only group dedicated to Hanson and Gundam Wing. ^_^ Amazingly enough,
yes, we do have more than 20 members. This is a songfic to
Hanson's "We All Know" which I find to be a beautiful song and worthy
of download if you can find it anywhere. Hmm... what else... if you
love Quatre, and I mean just adore him, you probably won't want to
read this. I love him, I do, but this is POV and I like Trowa with
Heero. So, I really crack into Quatre here. But, there will be a
sequel with Quatre POV which will hopefully redeem him. It'll be
called "Bridges of Stone" and I'll hopefulyl have it out in a few
days. Trowa POV. Er, enjoy?
lyrics = ~...~
Shut up about your space heart, Quatre. There's always an occasion for you to hop right in and empathize with any given person at every given moment, isn't there? It's how you got *me* into bed with you. Hah, yeah. You felt my pain in the war, my confusion when I had amnesia, and you bought me things and held me close and kept the world away so that nothing hurt anymore and I thought I knew who I was. Fuck that. I don't want to hear it anymore.
~Don't wanna hear 'bout why you been weepin' now~ ~Don't wanna hear 'bout why you been sleepin' 'round~ ~Don't tell me that now you feel bad~ ~You got a headache from the news this morning~
You sleep around on me and cry to me when you wake up alone in bed. You could at least try to pretend I'm part of your life, not just part of the harem, the last mistress on the list. Pacify me like I'm a child and maybe I'll forget I used to have a life. Instead, now I have this existence which is boring and I'm tired of it. I'm sick of the way you act about what you feel.
You keep me up late at night sometimes because you force me to listen to your tales all about how today you bedded some young thing. His father kicked him out of the house for flunking a grade. You saw him sitting, crying, on a street corner, "felt his pain" and probably felt him up, and gave him a quick bang in a taxi cab as you brought him to the nearby boy's shelter. You may give them a good bit of money, Quatre, but that doesn't make you a good person.
~And we all know it ain't right~ ~And we all say love is blind~ ~And we all know~ ~That we won't be sleepin' tonight~ ~Said, now please don't ask me why~ ~'Cause then I'll be forced to lie~ ~And we all know~ ~That we won't be sleepin' tonight~ ~Won't be sleepin' tonight~
If you at least pretended that we actually had something together, now that I've spent the best part of a year as your plaything, maybe I wouldn't feel that I had to do this. But, this is how I feel. I have to leave. Where I used to see your aquamarine eyes dancing with concern, now it's just all one big shifty gaze that never matches your smile and its all one big lie that you tell and tell.
How I didn't see it before, I can't be sure, but this is how it is now. I see through all of your little acts that you think you're so good at, but after all this time, when I don't change how I act around you, you let your guard down and it's just enough that I can get past and see all the hidden things that are no longer concealed.
~I can live it, I can give it, I cannot go one~ ~I don't know what to do~ ~You can take it, try to make it, the more you justify~ ~The more I see right through~
You have an innate ability to sense when there's something wrong and ferret it out of people, and you've got the money and that damned innocent expression that make people put their trust in you. I never should have, and I regret the decision, but I currently have no way of adjusting the past, so I'll live in the present and make my own future. It'll all be in hopes that it won't include you too much.
Things have been changing between us too much, anyway. What do we have in common except for fighting? Sure, there's the aspect of not having much of a family, but I don't remember mine at all and can't trace them, so I put a lot of faith in friendships and relationships in general. You never had a mother, Quatre, but you had a father until you didn't really need him anymore, and now you have enough sisters that you couldn't possibly have a big need for family. And, you've got enough little boys willing to get in your bed that a big boy like me can't find a spot.
You must not need me anymore since you made sure I knew I was just a bed warmer and someone to listen to your problems. And, hey, I no longer need you.
~Seems that there's been a change in the weather now~ ~You need to find another way to weasel out~ ~Just talked to you, you told me to~ ~Turn on the news this morning~
I could think of a thousand people who will want me more than you do, Quatre. But, that couldn't be too hard. After all, you push me away when I can't do anything for you, unless you're bored or horny. They're all that makes you want to be with me, and I'm sick of it.
Tonight, you're going to tell me about this slender guy you met today just after he lost his job and how you got him set up waiting tables at a local bar, and he was so grateful that he fell to his knees in some alley way and blew you good. I'd blow you good just for the hell of it, but it'd likely go straight to your head.
I've got this guy that I'm going to go see. You know him, but not as well as I do. He fought in the war, too, but I have more in common with him than I could ever hope to have with you. I don't know yet if he'll have me in his bed, but he wants me on his sofa.
I'd rather be on his scratchy sofa with a single ten-thread count sheet the consistency of cheap paper towels, with one cushion pulled up for my pillow and my feet dangling off one side than to be back in your goose feathered mattress that makes you feel like you're floating, with silk sheets, no skimpy satin, and a velvet bedspread. Whoever needed something so opulent?
I didn't, but I got it anyway.
~And we all know it ain't right~ ~And we all say love is blind~ ~And we all know~ ~That we won't be sleepin' tonight~ ~Said, now please don't ask me why~ ~'Cause then I'll be forced to lie~ ~And we all know~ ~That we won't be sleepin' tonight~ ~Won't be sleepin' tonight~
We'll sit down tonight and you'll tell me the sordid details of your overactive lust life and I'll listen for a while. You'll realize that I'm getting bored, and I'll ask you what you thought about the assassination attempt that was made this morning on the life of the Federation president. You'll tell me it hurts you, deep inside, and I'll finally crack and tell you that I'm leaving.
When I say to you that I want to get away from you, you'll ask me why, and I'll tell you. Then, you'll make the mistake of thinking instead of just proving you care. I'll tell you off and grab the things I packed this morning and I'll call a cab. While I wait, you'll ask me where I'm going.
If you knew my heart as well as you claim to, Quatre, I wouldn't be leaving in the first place.
You won't think to follow me, because that's not your style. By the time you hire someone to find me, or maybe do it yourself if you can't find a pretty enough boywhore on the street corner, I'll be with Heero and he'll take care of me if I can't take care of myself.
~I can live it, I can give it, I cannot go one~ ~I don't know what to do~ ~You can take it, try to make it, the more you justify~ ~The more I see right through~ ~Just talked to you, you told me to~ ~Turn on the news this morning~
And that's just it, Quatre. I don't know if I can make it without someone there to hold me up and keep me down all at once. Heero is just my option until I can find a place of my own to stay. I rely on my friends and lovers. I don't make them rely on me.
Heero's probably waiting for me already. I told him I wouldn't get there until I talked with you. If that was the case, I'd get even less sleep tonight. So, we'll talk a bit and then I'll talk *to* you since talking *with* you never got me anything.
Thank you for whatever is in you that makes you seem like you have a good heart. Maybe it's true, but... stop mixing your heart with love.
~And we all know it ain't right~ ~And we all say love is blind~ ~And we all know~ ~That we won't be sleepin' tonight~ ~Said, now please don't ask me why~ ~'Cause then I'll be forced to lie~ ~And we all know~ ~That we won't be sleepin' tonight~ ~That we won't be sleepin' tonight~
Owari. ;_;
Whee. It's my birthday tomorrow. So, I figured I'd post a fic for everyone so you can all wish me a happy birthday and I can feel loved! ^_^ Yes, I'm selfish like that.
Jenny&Kimmie
Please send comments to: JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com