15-Jul-2000
Title: Verily Quatre
Author: Kimmie (JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com)
Archive: GW Addiction.
Category: shonen ai, POV, angst
Pairings: 3+4
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Notes: This is a fic I found from a few months ago... My attempt at Trowa/Quatre shonen ai. Sorry it sucks so much and is so short. Quatre's harder for me to pin than a rhino in a wrestling match. Oh, this was written in Calculus class. The derivative notes written in the corner note that. Eh, enjoy? Quatre POV.
When I was a kid, if things didn't go my way, I'd pout and kick and scream until somebod gave me what I wanted just so I would shut up. I made them pacify me with my every want and I came out of the ordeal positively spoiled.
I suppose I could shed some of the blame from myself by claiming that I was only a child and didn't know any better, but it's all my fault. I am simply too loud and obnoxious when I don't get my way that hardly anyone can stand the sight of me, and I don't really blame them.
One problem that I had when I was a kid was that I never spoke of what I felt. Since I could read everyone else's emotions, I thought they could all read mine. I was wrong, of course, and because I *didn't* communicate my feelings, I had a hard time learning to later on in life.
I suppose it's only right that I'm relatively lonely. For all the pain that I've caused other people, I deserve to be a little lonely.
At least, I should be lonely for a little while longer. It's only right. But, Trowa seems determined to make sure I'm *not* lonely. I can't say that I mind, but I wish he'd let me wallow in the mire of my mind for just a little longer before taking me to the stars with one tiny kiss.
I have issues, I know. But, so does he. We both have problems expressing out feelings, but... I think he can sense mine just as well as I can sense his.
It would help if I could sense mine, too. I grew up in a peace-loving family. My father advocated peace. My sisters advocated peace. My colony was a peaceful place. So, when war broke out, it was a shocking thing that I wasn't ready for; something that was probably a good shock.
It's odd to fight a war when I'm one of the people on the battlefield. I barely remember reading about wars as a kid, let alone training to be a Gundam pilot, thinking that it was a means of keeping the peace rather than beginning a battle. War is an awful thing. I lose a little piece of myself every time someone dies where I can feel them. Trowa... Trowa is my selfish way of gaining it all back.
I have problems that all started with me getting everything I ever wanted. Now, though, nothing seems to go my way, and it just makes me obstinate. Maybe when the war ends, Trowa and I can move in together and take things as slow as we needs to. Maybe, together, we can find happy mediums and compromises.
I think I'd like that. I think I'd like that a lot.
Owari. '__'
Jenny&Kimmie
Please send comments to: JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com